Words Heard In Silence / Xena Uber

by T. Novan

  "That is all I can ask, sir."

  "And I expect similar cooperation from you. For example, I expect to see you in church on Sunday - this coming Sunday and every one thereafter. Of all the people whose souls need guidance and sanctuary, you, as a soldier and a leader of men, are certainly in need of God's gentle protection."

  "Sir, I was raised as a Presbyterian. However, if it serves my goals, I will certainly attend your services."

  "God does not make distinctions among sects, Colonel. God only makes distinctions between men of good will and those of evil intent."

  Charlie rose and nodded. "Then I will see you on Sunday, sir."

  --*--

  Very thoughtful about what Reverend Williams had said, Charlie walked slowly from the small church office in the rectory to the main building. His hands were going to be very full in the coming months, if the conditions and the attitudes the minister had described were to be met and shifted. Perhaps he and Rebecca together would be able to find a way to sway some of the stalwarts. Perhaps not. But for now, there were women and children who needed help, not only those who were refugees, but also within the community. Damn this war. Damn it all to hell. Too many innocent people have paid too many terrible prices. I pray for it to just be over.

  Entering the church, Charlie stopped for a moment. The quiet in this sacred space was not the same as the one encountered at a Sunday service; instead, it was the quiet of people whose souls had sustained more battering than they could stand. It was the quiet of a beaten dog, cowering, waiting for the next blow, and lacking the will to fight back any more. In the midst of this, Rebecca, with her gentle caring and her stubborn will, shone like a beacon.

  He moved quietly, stopping to give quiet words of encouragement, praise the beauty of a child, the bravery of a young boy trying hard to be adult before his time. Finally, he reached Rebecca, who was talking to a frail looking young woman with a young girl peeking out from behind her skirts. He bowed courteously to the woman.

  "Mrs. Gaines? I am sorry to interrupt, but do you have a moment?"

  "Of course, Colonel."

  The two stepped away to the side of the church where their softly spoken comments would not be overheard. "How bad is it, Rebecca?"

  "Well, it could be worse. We can handle everyone that is here now. That young woman I was talking with, she does not look good, Charlie, and she having another baby in a few months. I want Elizabeth to look at her as soon as possible."

  "I was afraid we would see more of that. Trying to carry multiple pregnancies in a short period of time without plenty of healthy food is a recipe for problems. I fear we will see more. And as bad off as these folks are, there are people here in the county that are only slightly better –– they at least have a roof over their heads."

  "We will get them out to the farm and get them settled, I am sure that will help them. Right now, they are just scared."

  "I am concerned there will be more. And from everything I can determine, there are no resources here to help them except some roof space. God, Rebecca. What are we going to do to get the local folks to help? Cooper is a good man, but Rev. Williams tells me that his wife’s attitude is the rule. I am just not sure what needs to be done here. We have already taken over Gaines Cove –– you are rapidly running out of space." The good colonel was babbling. Charlie, Lucky Charlie who could figure his way out of any battle situation, was at a total loss.

  Rebecca laid her hand on his arm, giving him a gentle smile. "Charlie, we will manage. My house is large and we can take a few more bodies in. We will be fine. My dear, I do believe that together we can accomplish anything. Come with me and I will show you one very good reason to believe."

  She led him back across the room and lifted Emily into her arms. "Colonel Redmond, I would like you to meet Emily." She smiled at the child then looked to Charlie. "Emily this is the gentleman I told you about. He has a very pretty horse I am sure he will show you." She tilted her head to the baby’s mother. "And this is her mother, Constance Adams. Mrs. Adams, may I introduce Colonel Charles Redmond."

  The woman slowly lifted her hand, sizing up the Yankee Colonel as she did. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Colonel Redmond. I want to thank you and Mrs. Gaines for coming to our aid.

  Charlie gently took her hand in his. "It my pleasure, Ma’am. It is the least we could do."

  The small child looked into the face of the man with blue eyes and black hair, similar to her own. She had a vague memory of a man who was like him, but dressed in gray, not blue. One finger hooked into a soft lower lip and a lisping voice asked, hesitantly, "Papa?"

  With a strange combination of tenderness and grief for this little, trusting soul who already was forced to face the harsh reality of the world around her, Charlie lifted her from Rebecca’s arms. "No, little one. I am not your papa. But I will be your friend. My name is Charlie. Can you say ‘‘Charlie’?"

  Rebecca smiled at the scene in front of her. "You look so much alike. No wonder she thinks you are her Papa."

  The baby smiled and pulled on Charlie’s tunic, bringing her face to his. "Papa."

  Charlie chuckled, a little embarrassed. "No, honey. Charlie. I am Charlie."

  The child continued, undaunted. "Papa!"

  Charlie looked helpless and more than a little embarrassed. Looking beseechingly at Rebecca and then at the child’s mother, he mumbled, "I do not know why…… I am sorry, I do not mean to make this awkward."

  Constance watched the Yankee Colonel with her daughter. He was gentle and tender with her. The woman wondered if he had children of his own he was anxious to get home to. She considered this thought and found herself thinking of the Colonel as just as much a victim as she was.

  "Looks like you have a new friend, Charlie." Rebecca took the baby and held her close. "Or at least another admirer." She winked at him. "I promise not to get jealous over this one." She gave the baby a kiss on her forehead. "Time to go back to your Mama, sweetheart."

  As Rebecca started to give the child back to her mother, the baby reached for Charlie, "Papa!"

  Blushing under the intense gaze of the small child and the rather bewildered looks of her mother, Charlie looked to Rebecca for help. Not seeing any assistance coming from that source, he turned to the woman holding his young admirer. "Ma’am. Your daughter seems to have taken a shine to me. And you look like you could use a warm place and perhaps some medical attention." He turned to Rebecca, and asked plaintively, "Perhaps they could come back with us now and we could send for the others tomorrow?"

  "Of course, Charlie. We will make room for them tonight. I think Emily has decided you are her new Papa." She laughed and turned to the baby playing with her hand. "Excellent choice, my dear. Constance, I will be happy to take her while you get your things together."

  "Thank you, Rebecca."

  Once again, the child was passed to Rebecca, but she continued to stare and smile at Charlie.

  Charlie waited patiently for the woman to gather her belongings, such as they were. All the time, he flirted with the little imp in Rebecca’s arms. And in his mind, he thought of how perfect Rebecca looked with a child in her arms and how insufficient he was as her partner. He could never give her this joy. His heart sank deeper and deeper. The ugly little voice in his head just laughed maliciously.

  "Charlie? Are you all right?" Rebecca noticed the shuttered look that had overcome the Colonel’s face.

  Charlie looked down at his feet, and then out over the other refugees huddled in the church. "Yes, I am fine. Just thinking."

  "I know it seems very daunting, Colonel, but I am sure we will make it through just fine." She adjusted the baby in her arms so she could touch Charlie’s shoulder. "We just have to do our best."

  The eyes that met Rebecca’s were filled with sadness and regret. "We will do our best. I just hope our best is enough." I hope my best is enough for you, my love, my heart, for there are so many things I will never be able to give you.

  Rebecca could se
e something was terribly wrong. She reached out and cupped his cheek, not caring who might see them. "Oh please, Charlie, do not worry. Everything will be all right. You have to believe that."

  Before Charlie could respond, Emily let out a loud laugh and lunged for Charlie, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck. "Papa. Good."

  Charlie caught the tenacious, flying child in his arms. "All right, little one. I have you. Or more accurately, you have me. Miss Constance? I am afraid your daughter is very persistent." Charlie smiled at her shyly. "I hope you do not mind. I truly do not want to usurp her father’s place."

  The woman smiled. "Colonel, my daughter is happy and it is you that is making her happy. She is very determined. I do not mind that she calls you Papa. I hope it does not bother you."

  "Well, ma’am, when her father does return……"

  "He will not be returning, Colonel. He was killed at Seven Pines."

  "I am sorry, Ma’am. You have my sincerest condolences."

  "Thank you, sir." She lifted her small bag, which Rebecca took since Charlie had his hands full of determined baby.

  "Tell me, Charlie," Rebecca giggled. "How do you intend to drive and hold the baby? I do not think we are going to be able to pry her out of your arms."

  "We are just going to have to do our best." He softened the echo of her words with a gentle smile. The four unlikely companions walked out into the crisp fall air. Charlie walked over to the hitching post and very seriously introduced Shannon and Emily. Her little hand reached out to the broad white stripe down the big horse’s face. "‘Orsy. P’etty ‘‘orsy." Charlie looked at the two women watching him.

  Rebecca did not even try to hide the huge smile on her face. Charlie looked so natural with the child. She assisted Constance into the buggy then moved to Charlie. "Maybe she will sit on my lap next to you on the way home." When she held her hands out, the baby shook her head and tightened her arms around Charlie again.

  "No!" The child simply refused to be separated from him.

  "Or," Rebecca smirked. "You could hold her and I could drive."

  "Or I could drive one handed. It is not like I am driving a full team. Shannon will go on verbal commands only."

  "As you wish, Colonel. I say you do have a way with the ladies, do you not?" She teased. "I wonder what Sergeant Jackson will have to say about this." The blonde climbed into the buggy. "I imagine he will be very amused."

  Charlie groaned. Jocko had been slipping around quietly. He was not quite sure who was really running the house, Rebecca or Jocko. He was very sure the two of them had created some kind of agreement, since his clothing was always there and ready, his office was impeccable and what he needed was normally at hand. But Jocko himself had managed to stay scarce lately, except for the ritual morning shave. Charlie made a mental note to check on the activities of his batman. Carefully balancing the bundle of energy in his left arm, Charlie climbed into the little trap, gathered up the reins in his right hand and clucked Shannon into a sedate walk towards home.

  --*--

  Upon returning to the farm, Charlie dropped his passengers at the house and excused himself to go brief his officers. He could only smile and promise his littlest friend he would be back soon. Emily was not a happy child. She was very vocal about it, shouting, "Papa. No. Go!" as the Colonel drove away.

  The crying child brought Beulah and Lizbet to the door right away. "Good Lord, Miss Rebecca, who do we have here" Beulah asked as Emily’s sobs for Charlie, lessened to hiccups and sniffs against Rebecca’s shoulder.

  "This is Mrs. Adams and Miss Emily. They are going to be staying with us for a while. Let us get them settled." She smiled to Lizbet. "Please take Mrs. Adams’ bag to the room on the second floor next to Dr. Walker’s and have Reg start a fire in there."

  "Yes, Miss Rebecca." The young woman did as she was bid.

  Rebecca then turned to Beulah. "If you would find Corporal Nailer for me. We need to figure out what Emily here can use as a crib."

  "Yes, Ma’am. And Sarah has a fresh stew and hot tea in the kitchen."

  "Thank you." Rebecca turned to Constance. "Come, let us get you some solid food while your room is put together."

  "Miss Rebecca, I really do not want Em and I to be a burden to you. If you will just tell me where my room is I will be happy to just go there and be out of your way."

  "Nonsense. You have to eat and it is wonderful to have the company. I am starting to feel like maybe everything will be all right again. I know it is going to be a long road, but the fact that we are coming together again is evidence we are ready for the healing to begin." She took the woman’s hand. "Come on now, you will love Sarah’s stew, it is the best in the county."

  --*--

  Rebecca watched indulgently as Constance finished a second bowl of stew. It was apparent she had not been eating properly. The blonde was sure she had been giving what food she could get to young Emily. The baby sat quite happily in Rebecca’s lap, chewing on a hardtack biscuit and trying to sip from a cup of cooled tea.

  "Constance, I think in light of your condition you should stay in a private room with its own fireplace and close to Dr. Walker."

  "Oh that is too much. I cannot accept more than what you can comfortably offer."

  "Then do not argue with me, because I can comfortably offer this to you." She looked down at her little friend. "Besides, Colonel Redmond resides in the house as well and I think Emily will enjoy being near him."

  "She certainly did take to him right away, did she not? I have never seen her act that way with a man before."

  "The Colonel is a very special gentleman and Emily just knows that."

  The back door opened and Charlie and Elizabeth stepped inside. Emily was quick to squeal her delight. "Papa!" She squirmed, until Rebecca put her down and she made her way over to Charlie to tug on his pants leg. "Papa. Up Papa."

  The look on Elizabeth’s face was priceless. She tried not to smile as she sized up Charlie and his new little friend. "Something you forget to tell me, Charlie?"

  "No," he grumbled, even while hugging Emily. "The little one just seems to have picked me as a surrogate father."

  Elizabeth smiled and gave an amused nod. "I can see that."

  "Papa. ‘‘Orsey Papa."

  "Well see the horsy later, little one. Right now, Charlie needs a cup of coffee."

  Rebecca was quick to get up and pour Charlie a cup of coffee. "Elizabeth?" She offered, holding up another cup.

  "Maybe later, Rebecca, thank you. Right now I thought I would have a look at our newest patient." The doctor smiled at Constance. "Charlie, do you think you can keep Little Emily occupied while I take care of her Mama?"

  Charlie looked down at the child who was quite happy chewing on the button of his tunic. "I think we can manage."

  Emily did perk up a bit when her mother stood up, but relaxed back against Charlie when she was assured Mama would be right back. She picked up her biscuit from the table and offered it to Charlie. "Bite. Papa."

  Charlie just sighed, completely unsure what to do next. "No, thank you. You eat that. I will have my dinner later."

  "Speaking of which," Rebecca handed the baby a slice of apple. "A couple of your men brought Sarah two nice rabbits, so we are having roast rabbit for supper. Would you like to invite Colonel Polk?"

  "Would Elizabeth like me to invite Colonel Polk?" Charlie had to ask past the piece of apple Emily was trying to put in his mouth.

  "I think the doctor would be delighted."

  "I will see to it then." Charlie looked down at the little girl, who looked back with adoring eyes. She smiled and reached up, pulled herself up and grabbed Charlie's cheeks.

  "Papa good!" She squealed then kissed Charlie on the cheek.

  The colonel had the grace to blush, but not enough time to react to the fact his batman had just come through the kitchen door in time to see the little brunette continuing her sloppy kiss to Charlie's cheek.

  The Irishman burst out laughing. "Litt
le young for ya', I would say, Colonel C."

  Chapter 13

  Wednesday, November 30, 1864

  Supper was –– different. The addition of a toddler to the household caused disruptions in a number of ways. The addition of a toddler who refused to let go of the Colonel added to the excitement. Charlie found himself lightly coated with mashed squash and some undefined cooked cereal. For the meticulous Colonel, this was something of a rude awakening. Charlie had never dealt with the messy aspects of day-to-day childcare. It was a revelation. He handled it with surprising good cheer.

  After supper, Charlie and Rebecca watched as Constance put the little imp to bed. They adjourned to Rebecca’s back parlor, where, after a polite cup of after dinner coffee, Charlie excused himself to go write some needed dispatches.

  Once in the quiet of his office, Charlie built a small fire to disperse the chill of the evening. For long minutes, he sat in the soft light of the fire, staring at the flickering flames. He forced himself to focus on the requirements of his position. That habit ran deep, duty before all other things. Consciously, he pushed his confusion and, to be honest, his rising frustration about his relationship with Rebecca to the back of his mind. Confronted with the hostility of the citizens, their abject poverty and the wave of refugees from the war, Charlie was overwhelmed. He knew he had to do more than just find food and clothing for these people to last the winter. He had to find a way to help them start rebuilding their lives, if only on a basic level.

  He lit one lamp on his desk, drawing paper before him to write his dispatch to Sheridan.

  November 30, 1864

  Outside of Culpeper, Virginia

  Lieut. General Philip H. Sheridan

  Department of the Shenandoah

  Dear General Sheridan,

  Appropriate steps are being taken to settle the 13th Pennsylvania into their winter quarters. As discussed, we have set up our infirmary with a surgery for Dr. Walker. She is well pleased with our arrangements.

  The heavy nor’easter that moved through the region several days ago has done little lasting damage. Colonel Polk’s supply and inventory reports are attached.