Words Heard In Silence / Xena Uber

by T. Novan

  Entering the kitchen, she prepared a pot of tea. Fighting tears the entire time she worked around the kitchen. Picking up a piece of bread she started to bring it to her lips, but found she had no appetite and replaced it in the basket.

  Taking the tea, she went to the rear parlor and settled in her rocker by the window. Pulling a shawl over her shoulders and a blanket over her legs, she sipped her tea as she watched out the window. It was not long before she felt her lids getting very heavy, but rather than go face their bed which was cold and empty, she let sleep claim her in the chair.

  --*--

  Charlie spent the evening documenting the problems he had found throughout the county. He indulged himself in a quiet half hour before the fire with a cigar and a glass of brandy. Finally, he slipped into the hall and sat on the bottom step to pull his boots off. Holding them in one hand, he crept up the stairs and eased into Rebecca’s private sitting room. There he stripped off the rest of his clothes and pulled on his nightshirt. Dousing the last light in the room, he eased the door to the bedroom open. He nearly panicked when he realized that she was not in bed as he expected.

  Quickly he looked around the room. No, the rocking chair was empty. He went back into the little sitting room. Maybe she had fallen asleep on the davenport, but that too was empty. He hurried downstairs and then saw the faint light under the door to the back parlor. There she sat, wrapped in a shawl and lap blanket, asleep in her chair by the window.

  Softly he went to her. Moving slowly and gently, he gathered her up in his arms. She did not wake fully, but wrapped her arms around his neck and burrowed her head into his shoulder with a contented sigh. Carefully, he carried her up stairs to bed. He tucked her in on her usual side, and then slid in beside her. She rolled over, seeking his warmth in her sleep. Entwined, satisfied for the moment to feel his arms around her and the sweet smell of her in his nostrils, they slept.

  --*--

  Thursday, D ecember 8, 1864

  Rebecca woke slowly and reached for Charlie, who was already gone. She sighed and rolled over on her back staring at the ceiling. She was not sure what had come over Charlie the last few days, but she wondered if it had something to do with the other women that had shown up. Perhaps he found young Constance and little Emily far more appealing, after all this was a woman with children and it was clear Charlie adored Em. Pushing the thoughts from her mind, she tossed the covers back and sat up.

  Lizbet entered the room and opened the curtains. "Mornin,’ Miss Rebecca. What would you like to wear today?"

  "I do not care." She answered quietly.

  Lizbet looked at her mistress. "Are you all right, Ma’am?"

  "I am fine. Just very tired."

  Rebecca moved to the window while Lizbet bustled around the room laying out her clothes. She looked out over her land wondering where Charlie had gotten off to. "Has Colonel Redmond left for the day?"

  "Oh yes, Ma’am. The Colonel was up and out very early this morning. He had breakfast with Miss Constance, Miss Emily and Dr. Walker before he left."

  "I see." She heard her own voice crack as she sniffed back tears. It looked like Charlie was making some new changes. She could not think of a reason why he would not have awakened her.

  Rebecca dressed quickly then went to Major Montgomery’s room. She slipped inside to find Elizabeth tending to her patient.

  "Oh, I am sorry I did not mean……" She started to leave.

  "No, no, Rebecca, come in. I am nearly finished here."

  "How is he?"

  "Improving. I see some movement behind his lids now. That is a very good sign."

  "Elizabeth, did Charlie seem all right to you at breakfast this morning?"

  "Oh yes, you should have seen him helping little Em with her breakfast. It was adorable."

  She smiled, even though she felt her heart breaking. "Good, I am glad. He did not wake me this morning."

  "Well, we were all up very early. One of the hazards of life around the military."

  "And Constance?"

  "One of the hazards of being pregnant." Elizabeth chuckled, pulling the blankets over the major.

  "I am sure." She moved closer to the bed and handed a cool cloth to Elizabeth. "Do you know where the Colonel has gone off too this morning?"

  "I believe he is finishing his survey of the needs of the county. You know, he is really very serious about trying to set the groundwork for a effective reconstruction."

  "Oh yes, I know. These people do not know how lucky they are it was the Colonel who arrived and not someone else."

  "He said something about wanting to get it done so that work could begin before the first snow."

  "A valid point. We could get snow anytime now and the weather has started turning." She wondered how long she could make idle chit chat. She felt as if she was dying inside and all she wanted to do was think of something else and figure out how she could let Charlie go.

  "He told me privately that he wanted to get this done, and get things settled into a routine so that he would have more time to spend with you."

  She smiled and gave a little nod. Apparently Charlie had not explained to Elizabeth that there might be a change in his plans. "That would be nice."

  "Rebecca, what is wrong?"

  "Oh nothing. I am sure that, given time, it will work itself out." She drew a deep breath. "There is just so much to be done."

  "Rebecca, look at me."

  The blonde squared her shoulders and looked to the doctor. "Yes?"

  Elizabeth looked at Rebecca very closely. There were deep shadows under her eyes, which were slightly bloodshot. Her color was pallid, and there was a very tiny tremor to her hands. "You are pushing yourself too hard. If you are not careful, you will be on my list of patients. I recommend a good meal or two and several naps."

  Rebecca nodded. "Yes, of course, Doctor, I will see to it." She gave her friend a squeeze on the shoulder. "Thank you for your concern."

  "So do you want to tell me what has you not sleeping and eating properly?"

  "You know, Elizabeth," Rebecca lied. "There is just so much work to be done. We have the refugees to care for and the Major to look after while he recovers."

  Elizabeth looked with concern at her young friend. Something was going on here, but she could not put her finger on it. Rebecca looked like she was neither sleeping nor eating properly and Charlie had simply looked like hell this morning. His eyes had a haunted look in them, and he had kept looking to the door or up toward the ceiling during breakfast with longing.

  "Well, my dear, you will not be able to do anything if you push yourself to the point of illness."

  "I promise to take care. As a matter of fact I will go down now and see if Sarah might still have something to eat."

  As the young woman turned to leave, Elizabeth watched her carefully. There was something in her stance, something in her walk that projected overwhelming sadness. For long moments after the door had closed, Elizabeth continued to stare after it. Drat. I am going to have to talk to that man. Something is very not right here.

  --*--

  Rebecca stood on the back porch looking down toward the camp, wishing Charlie were home so they could talk. Then she considered that she had no right to say anything to him. She would just have to wait until he came to her.

  The sight of Corporal Nailer brought a smile to her face as she waved to the young man. "Good morning, Duncan."

  "Good morn……morning, Miss Rebecca."

  "And what are you up to on this brisk morning?"

  "Actually, Ma’am, I am here to collect Jeremiah. We are going fish……fishing this morn...morning to see if we can have fresh bass for din……dinner tonight."

  "That is very kind of you to look after the boy like that."

  "My……ple……pleasure."

  "You are a good man, Duncan."

  The young soldier ducked his head as he tried to hide the blush. "Thank you."

  Rebecca jumped when the screen door banged shut a
nd Jeremiah ran past her to his new friend. She chuckled at the boy’s enthusiasm. "Be good boys and have good luck. I am looking forward to fish for dinner tonight."

  They both waved to her as they headed for the pond. She sipped her tea, aware of the warmth of it as it slid down her throat and the coolness of the air and the pain she was feeling. Finishing her tea she tuned for the house to see who needed tending this morning.

  --*--

  Rebecca left Montgomery’s room once Constance had arrived to take over for a bit. The young woman could not do a lot of the chores because of her condition, but sitting with the injured man was something she could do. Emily was napping and would be for at least an hour. Rebecca promised to take charge of the child when she woke.

  She paused briefly at the top of the steps, feeling a bit dizzy. Steadying herself with the banister, she started down the stairs, but paused after the first few steps. She shook her head, feeling the room beginning to spin just a little. Then everything started to grow dim. A moment later everything went dark.

  Reg walked into the main hall, on his way to carry a load of wood to the back parlor. Miss Rebecca was lying in a crumpled heap at the foot of the stairs. "Oh Lord, Miss Rebecca."

  He looked around, then ran upstairs to find Doctor Elizabeth. He knew better than to try and move Miss Rebecca.

  "Doctor Elizabeth. Doctor Elizabeth!" His cries roused everyone in the house.

  Elizabeth rushed out of her consulting room. "What is it?"

  "It is Miss Rebecca, ma'am. She has fallen and I am feared she is dead."

  Elizabeth grabbed her black case and came charging out of the office, a grim look on her face. Reg danced behind her, wanting to help and not knowing how. They returned to the hall, where everyone was gathering. The children were crying at the furor, the adults were looking horrified and ineffectual.

  Elizabeth dropped to her knees beside Rebecca's limp body and quickly checked her pulse and respiration. Both were thready but reasonably normal.

  She looked up at the gawking onlookers. "Get those children out of here and settle them down. Reg - you go find Colonel Polk and get the Colonel back here immediately. Lizbet - go get her bed ready. Sarah, Beulah, go get two heavy blankets. I want you to put them together into a sling so we can get her upstairs without jostling her."

  As people moved to fulfill Elizabeth's orders, the doctor carefully examined her patient. Nothing appeared to be broken, although Rebecca would have some spectacular bruises. The one that concerned her was the large lump and rapidly darkening bruise on her right temple.

  The three women gently straightened Rebecca's limbs, moved her onto the makeshift stretcher and transferred her to her bedroom.

  --*--

  Reg ran into Polk's office at full speed, nearly taking the officer off his feet as they collided. "Whoa, boy. What is so urgent that you can not knock and enter properly?"

  "Colonel Polk, sir, it is Miss Rebecca. She has fallen and Doctor 'Lizabeth sent me to get you to get Colonel Charlie back here immediately."

  "Easy, lad. Is Miss Rebecca going to be all right?"

  "I swear I just do not know, sir." The man wailed. "I thought she was dead there on the stairs."

  "All right. Can you ride?"

  "Yes, sir. I ride good. Mr. Gaines used to use me to exercise the horses."

  "Fine." Polk turned to his aid, Captain Harriman. "Get two horses, one for you and one for Reg here. Saddle up for a hard, fast ride. Meet me at the Colonel's office and I will be able to tell you where to go."

  Polk hurried over to Charlie's office, where he knew his boss had been plotting his surveying trips. He hoped the maps were still on the desk. As he entered the office, he saw the maps on the staff table. With a sigh of relief, he looked them over and figured out Charlie's plan for the day.

  As Harriman and Reg entered, he showed them the map. "Here, he was going to start at Fordsville, then Leon, Tryme, Novum, Reva and then Griffinsburg and Pelham Manor. He left just after dawn this morning, so I would go directly to Reva, then either catch up or back track until you find him."

  The two men nodded and set out at a hard pace.

  --*--

  Upstairs, Elizabeth finished her examination of Rebecca. Lizbet and Beulah made the young woman comfortable, stripping her of her daywear and putting her in a nightgown.

  "Well, my dear, you did work yourself into a swivet. And unfortunately, I cannot let you just sleep." Gently, Elizabeth set about reviving the young woman. Slowly, Rebecca returned to the world of the living.

  "Uh...steps..."

  "Uh steps indeed. I told you to go take a nap."

  "What……what happened?"

  "You fell. I would imagine your lack of food and sleep left you a bit dizzy. The rest, as they say, is history."

  Rebecca raised her hand slowly to her throbbing head. "Hurts."

  "I am sure. You have a lovely bruise and a nice little concussion. So now you will stay in bed, drink fluids, rest, and one of us will wake you every hour for a while, just to be annoying."

  "Charlie……" She let her eyes close as a tear escaped from the corner of one.

  "I have sent for him, dear. I expect him back within a couple of hours." Elizabeth fussed over Rebecca briefly. "And when he gets here, please be kind."

  "Yes. But he is...busy."

  "Rebecca, if I know Charlie like I think I do, what he has been doing is trying to control his own feelings. Remember what you told me about the night he went drinking with one of the men?"

  "Yes."

  "Well, if he is trying to get his desire for you under control, he might want to put a little distance between you. He may be embarrassed about that night."

  Her eyes closed yet again and she nodded. Her head hurt and the thought that Charlie wanted distance, made it hurt worse. "I understand."

  "I honestly do not think you do, dear. I think our good Colonel, who has been so in control of his life for so long, is spinning very much out of control around you."

  A long pause lay between them, and then Elizabeth added, "The problem is probably that he just can not figure out how to keep his hands off you."

  Rebecca turned teary eyes to her friend, smiled and reached for her hand. "I love him so. I only want him to be happy."

  Elizabeth soothed the hair back from Rebecca's bruised forehead. "And he loves you, my dear. I am very, very sure of that. I have never seen my old friend like this over anyone. And to be honest, I never expected to see it, either. I know you two will find a way to make your relationship work. Now, you, rest. Close your eyes and I will keep watch and wake you in an hour."

  --*--

  Reg and Harriman rode like demons. They found Charlie and Jocko in Novum.

  "Colonel Charlie!" Reg cried out as soon as he saw the tall man.

  "Reg, what is it." Charlie looked startled. The only reason that the servant would be here is if something had happened at the house. "Is Miss Rebecca all right?"

  "No, Colonel Charlie. She fell down the stairs and Doctor Elizabeth sent me for you."

  Before the words were out of Reg's mouth, Charlie was sprinting for Black Jack. He pulled himself up into the big stallion's saddle and shouted back at the three men standing behind him. "Follow as you can."

  Then he took off for home.

  --*--

  The miles melted under Black Jack's steady ground eating gallop. Riding cross-country, Charlie arrived at the farm in slightly over an hour, covered in dust and Black Jack's lather.

  Charlie, distraught, flung himself out of the saddle and threw Black Jacks reins to some trooper; he did not notice who it was. Up the steps to the portic,o and through the door, he charged, barely stopping to drop his sword, hat and gloves in the hall before he roared up the stairs to Rebecca's door. There he stopped, frozen, terrified of the worst. And since he had considered every possible scenario in his frantic ride home, he was already prepared to find her dying or even dead. Carefully, he opened the door and slipped into the room.
/>   Elizabeth rose as he entered. There was anguish and fear in his eyes. "Shush, Charlie. She is fine. Nothing that a few days rest and some good food cannot fix. She has a mild concussion, and needs to be wakened every hour until tomorrow evening. Other than that, my dear, she is fine."

  Timidly, Charlie asked, "Can I see her?"

  "Of course. In fact, I think it will do you both a world of good if you awaken her."

  "But I am filthy."

  "So? She needs you, Charlie. Go to her."

  Charlie approached the small still figure in the big bed very gently. He stroked her cheek with his fingers, and softly called her name. "Rebecca. Darling. Rebecca, honey. Wake up, please?"

  Slowly her eyes opened and she focused on him, smiling as soon as she realized he was real. "You came."

  "Of course I came. Oh, honey, I am so sorry. Are you all right?"

  She moaned a little and smiled as much as she could. "I love you, Charlie, please do not stay away……" She knew she could not hold the tears in her eyes. She just felt so bad and the stress had finally gotten to her.

  Charlie swept her up into his arms and held her close. He cradled her head in his hand against his chest and softly rocked her. "My love, my dear heart. I did not mean to hurt you. I am right here, where I want to be; where I need to be…… with you."

  "Stay." She gripped his shirt. "I promise……to……do my best."

  "Darling, you always do your best. Do you understand how much I love you? Do you know that I cannot think straight when I am with you, that I dream of you during the day, that I want to touch you whenever I am near you, and when I touch you I want to hold you and when I hold you it takes everything I am not to lay down and worship you?"

  She cuddled into him. "I love you. I am sorry, for being silly. I thought you had decided against me and did not know how to tell me."

  Charlie laughed a little, nervous, relieved sound. "My God, love. I am so sorry. I was having problems with trying to control myself." In a much lower voice, rich with hunger, "I want you so much I think I am going crazy sometimes. My hands itch with wanting to touch you. I promised to go at your pace, and I was afraid I was going to break my word to you."