by Gina Kincade
The shift coursed through him, his wolf wanted out. It'd been two years since he'd run with Dakota but their bond was strong enough to pull him over the edge— without his consent. He hastily ripped off his clothes. His nails lengthening and slashing at his shirt buttons. His legs buckled, his feet tightened and thinned, and hair sprouted all over his body. He slid out of his pants, underwear, and shoes easily, barely registering the pain before it was over. He sniffed the air and took off, heading north.
Like his own brand of perfume, her scent called to him and he raced down the street, through yards and over hedges. He crossed streets without even looking, following her scent like a ribbon in the air. He ran until her scent grew stronger. He headed up Bogus Basin Rd., past the houses and the Mormon Church, the elementary school, and the bomb shelter. A car sped toward him and he ducked into the underbrush, letting it pass before continuing on. At Simplot's abandoned house, he took a left and headed into the hills beyond.
Dakota knew better than to run through the neighborhood but at least she'd made it to the hills without getting hit or caught. Hell, if he hadn't been so out of control, he would've driven up and shifted in the hills himself. She was so reckless. Putting not only herself in danger but him as well.
Their bond remained though, strong as ever, despite them being apart for so long. He even dared to say the pull was stronger because they'd been apart.
He crested a ridge and spotted her in the moonlight. Running below, in the valley between the hills, she and Bowgie jumped, turned and chased a rabbit back and forth. Relief and joy washed over him. She was all right.
His wolf wanted to go down and join in her fun, but he held back. He didn't belong down there with her. Not anymore. Despite what their wolves felt, they were no longer one. She wasn't his. And he wasn't hers. He'd moved on, with Cassie.
His wolf whined and his heart crumbled as realization hit him. Cassie would never run with him in the moonlight. She'd never know or understand the need for him to be with his family once a month. She'd never feel the pull of the wolf or the restraint it took to hold back the anger or the shift. So much of his life she would never understand.
Bowgie caught wind of him and ran up the slope, barking and growling.
Dakota's head whipped up and she looked at him.
"What are you doing here?"
"You think I want to be out here at three in the morning?" he asked.
"Then leave."
"Not without you. Do you know how dangerous it is for you out here by yourself? Running through the neighborhood and across the streets? You could have been hit."
She started up the ridge toward him and stopped next to Bowgie. "Do you know how many times I came out here by myself while you were gone?"
"And do you know how stupid that was? What if someone had seen you?"
"Is that what this is really about? You're afraid I'll be seen and that my actions will once again complicate your life?"
"Yes."
She shook her shaggy head and bumped him with her shoulder. "Always thinking of yourself. Doesn't matter what other people might need. Only Griffin."
He growled and snapped at her leg. "And what does that mean?"
Her ears flattened against her head and she hunched forward. "It means that like always, it's all about you. What you want. What you need. What's easiest for you. I gave you six years of being and doing for you. You wanted to be in the military so I said yes. I moved all over the United States for you. I stayed home while you went away. I waited for you and cooked for you and cleaned for you and was a dutiful wife for you. You wanted to wait to have kids, I agreed. But did you ever think of me and what I wanted or needed?"
"You said you were happy with how things were."
"And I was. I was happy to see you happy. It's all I wanted. But then I grew up and now I do what makes me happy."
"You sure did when I was gone."
She lunged at him, so suddenly that it caught him off guard. Going straight for his throat, teeth bared, he had no choice but to defend himself.
"Dakota stop it!"
"You have no idea what I went through when you were gone. No idea the pain. The loneliness."
She pushed him to the ground and snapped at his muzzle. Bowgie dashed forward and bit Griffin's leg. He kicked Bowgie in the face and the dog backed up and sneezed.
"And yet you found someone to comfort you. While I was over there risking my life you were back here living it up with someone else."
He kicked her off and rolled to his feet. She stared at him, hackles raised, eyes dark against her deep rust fur. Bowgie joined her and bared his teeth. Man he wished wolf-speak worked on dogs. Then maybe the damn mutt would listen to him. Unfortunately, it was only a Blood Born thing.
"Go on," she said. "Ask me. Ask me anything you want to know and I'll tell you."
Who was he? Why did she do it? Was it just once or more than once? Did they have sex in the house? In the bed she had shared with him?
All the questions he wanted answers to raced through his mind, but in the end, he didn't want to know.
"Forget it." He turned and headed down the hill, back toward home.
"So that's it? You came all the way out here and you're just going to walk away?"
He continued to trot down the hill.
"Is it easier for you this time Griffin? Walking away from me? Do you feel justified once again?"
He stopped and looked back at her. "Yes. Yes I do."
"What should we do tonight?" Cassie slid into the passenger seat and waved to her coworkers as Griffin pulled away from the hospital.
"What do you want to do?"
She shrugged. "I don't know. We could watch a movie. Or play a board game."
His earlier run, to find Dakota, had only made things worse with him and his wolf. Instead of feeling relaxed and rejuvenated, he felt more pent up and snappish than ever. He realized just how much he missed both— Dakota and running with her. He'd been a dick that morning and he knew it but the eighteen months they'd spent apart seemed like no more than a week. All the anger he'd pushed down inside, all the pain, all the things he'd wished he'd said to her seemed to be bubbling up to the surface confusing him. Conflicting his thoughts.
He wanted her… but he didn't want everything that came along with having her.
"How about we drive up to Bogus Basin and walk around?" he suggested.
"Yeah, I don't know. I'm not really one for hiking."
"We don't have to hike. We could just walk in the woods. Maybe take a blanket and watch the moon and stars."
"What about bugs? Ticks and stuff? And I don't really have shoes for it."
He held back a sigh. Dakota would have jumped at the chance. It was something they'd done regularly in Wolf River.
Cassie was a homebody. She liked her modern conveniences and her air conditioning and her television. Going to the ballet and to her book club were what she considered a big night out. There was no way a girl like her would ever fit in in Wolf River– a place where only a one mile stretch of the town got great Wi-Fi and only half a dozen residents had cell phones. Hell, his brother Caleb didn't even have a home phone yet.
His heart sank a little. He liked Cassie and he cared for her, a great deal, but if he wanted to stay with her there were a lot of things he would need to change. Like eating salads, staying indoors and learning to not fall asleep watching men dance around in tights. But that's what he wanted right? Normal. Easy. Safe.
Dakota's words floated back to him. "I gave you six years of being and doing for you. You wanted to be in the military so I said yes. I moved all over the United States for you. I stayed home while you went away. I waited for you and cooked for you and cleaned for you and was a dutiful wife for you. But did you ever think of me and what I wanted or needed?"
"All right. A movie it is. But can we watch an action flick?"
"Sure." She smiled. "As long as it has romance in it too."
"Of course." Griffin's wolf
snarled.
When Griffin got home, around midnight, he could barely keep his eyes open. He tiptoed into the house and into the bedroom. Dakota lay in the bed with her back to the door. Bowgie lifted his head and stared at him.
Dang. On the bed? Really Dakota?
He took off his shoes, walked into the closet and closed the door before turning on the light. He set his shoes back in their spot and then pulled off his shirt and hung it back in its place. He slid out of his slacks and folded them perfectly before hanging them up as well.
Turning off the light he headed for the dresser and kicked the bed with his toe. He grabbed his foot, swearing silently. His eyes stayed on Dakota's form, which didn't move at all. She'd always been a heavy sleeper.
He watched her as moonlight cascaded through the window and over her body. Her dark hair was fanned out across her pillow and the slender line of her throat looked delicate against her bare shoulder. A muscular tone formed her arms that hadn't been there when they'd been together. Her tight cami, barely covering her soft, round breasts. Breasts that he'd loved, caressed and teased with utter delight. And her supple hips begged to be grabbed onto.
Heat surged through him and as the pain in his toe faded, desire warmed his skin. She was strong now. Stronger than he'd ever seen her. And yet, still so vulnerable. He wanted to hold her. To touch her. To be inside her once more. He swallowed hard and opened his dresser drawer. Staring at the clothes inside, he couldn't remember what he was supposed to be doing. Sweats. He needed sweats.
He grabbed his pants and closed the drawer. Hurrying from the room, he pulled them over his growing erection and headed into the kitchen. He threw on the cold water and dunked his head under it. The chill on his neck and shoulders had him gasping for breath.
After a minute he chugged a glass of ice water and then sat it in the sink.
He needed to get a grip. He and Dakota were over. That was the end of it. He was moving on. Whether or not it was with Cassie, one thing was for sure. He had to get over the pain from his past and start living again.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Griffin opened the front door to the sounds of laughter and the scent of pizza. . Not just any pizza– Dakota's homemade pizza. His stomach grumbled. Bowgie barked and headed toward him. Griffin looked down at the dog and his gut clenched. How was it that he'd wanted a dog for years but when he finally got one, it wasn't even his?
"Bowgie sit." The dog stared at him, his tail wagging slightly.
Griffin shook his head. Stupid mutt wasn't even supposed to be in the house. No one listened to him anymore.
Voices floated out of the kitchen so he dropped his bag on the couch and headed toward them. Dakota pulled a pizza stone from the oven and set it on the stove. Scott sat at the bar with a slice in his hand.
Dakota turned and gave him a tight smile. "I made dinner."
Griffin's eyes darted to Scott and he clenched his fists.
"We weren't properly introduced last time we met. I'm Scott Wylan." Scott stuck out his hand.
Griffin knew it was a bad idea to piss off an Alpha but he didn't want to shake Scott's hand. He wanted to punch the guy in the face and ask what the hell he thought he was doing in his house, alone with his wife.
"Griffin." He shook it anyway.
"Scott just came to pick me up for my NA meeting."
"I could have taken you."
"I didn't want to put you out." Her tone showed she was still upset by the way he'd acted that morning. "Besides Scott goes anyway."
"Speaking of which, we should get moving, so we aren't late." Scott stood and took his plate to the sink.
Dakota pulled out a plate and set it on the counter. "I made an all meat one for you. I know how loaded you like it. And there's ice cream and root beer in the fridge for you too."
She still remembered.
Scott squeezed her arm and Dakota's eyes lit up as she returned his smile. Griffin fought back the urge to rip his hand off. He was so unlike Griffin. Red, wavy hair, bright green eyes, wiry, and tall. Scott was like no Alpha Griffin had ever seen. There was nothing about him that should threaten Griffin, and yet, jealously pooled and churned inside him like a vat of acid.
"Let me get my purse." Dakota jogged out of the kitchen.
Griffin and Scott stared at each other.
"Look," said Scott. "I get it. Another male in your house, not a good idea. But Dakota was lonely and she needed a ride to the store. She was set on making this for you and you know how headstrong she is."
"That I do."
Scott took a step closer. "I don't want any trouble. I'm Alpha of this area but you're Blood Born and I'm not. I can see, by the vibes you're giving off, you don't want me here, so I'll leave. But answer me this. Are you mad because I'm in your house or are you mad because I was here, alone, with Dakota? I only ask because she isn't the person you knew when you came home. She's turned herself around and is doing well."
"Your point?"
"My point is, I don't want anything to upset her balance right now. She still cares for you. You two are bonded. And if you want to try and fix things I won't stand in your way. But I won't see her fall back down the rabbit hole, because you change your mind and decide her baggage is more than you can handle, either."
Though his sincerity rang genuine, Griffin still didn't like Scott talking about Dakota.
"Bowgie, outside," called Scott. Bowgie sulked into the kitchen and Scott opened the door.
"It's okay," said Griffin. "He can stay."
Scott nodded and closed the sliding door.
"Are you ready?" Dakota walked back in.
"Yup." Scott offered his hand again. "If you ever need a pack, we'd be happy to take you in."
"Thanks but I still run with my family up north."
Scott nodded. "Jeremiah is a great guy and a solid Alpha."
"Yes, my dad is."
Scott walked out with Dakota. Bowgie whined as the door closed. Together they listened to the sound of Scott's classic Trans Am rev up and then speed down the street.
He looked down at the dog. "Did they feed you?"
Bowgie yawned and lumbered over to the couch where he jumped up and curled into a ball.
Griffin shook his head then looked over at the pizza and his gut clenched. The smell brought with it memories. Dakota in the kitchen cooking. Him coming up behind and helping her knead the dough. The flour fights that ended in long hot showers together. Eating pizza on the couch and snuggling while watching action flicks. Damn. The years with Dakota had been the best of his life. He hadn’t truly been happy, or at peace, since kicking her out. He assumed it was because they were bonded. But maybe it was also because he still loved her.
Griffin tried to concentrate on his schoolwork, but every time he looked at the textbook his mind wandered. He played Dakota’s story over and over in his head— how she'd become an addict. It made sense. He'd watched buddies come back from the war and get addicted the same way. Nightmares kept them from sleeping so they took something to help. Then they got meds to keep them stable. On and on it went until they turned to harder stuff. How many good men had ended up arrested, in prison, or worse?
He thought of her. Alone. Scared. Not knowing if he was coming back. Getting sucked into the same trap millions of others had. Was it really her fault? They didn't have kids or family or anything to ground her. There’d been nothing to support her while she was alone.
His gut clenched and he thought of Scott being there when he hadn't been. Caring for her, protecting her, not judging. Seeing past the mess and the pain to the woman that was clearly still in there.
It should have been him.
Bowgie perked up on the couch next to him.
"What is it boy?"
The sound of Scott's Trans Am rolled up the street and idled outside the house. Bowgie jumped over the back of the couch and ran to the door. Griffin picked up his textbook and sat it in his lap.
There was a knock on the front door.
&nb
sp; "Come in," he called.
Dakota stepped inside and Bowgie pressed against her. She'd been crying. Her eyes were puffy and red, and her nose looked like a shiny cherry.
"Hey buddy." She gave him a soft smile. Bowgie licked her hand.
"Are you okay?" Griffin closed his book.
She nodded and tucked her hair behind her ear. "Sometimes the sessions are tougher than others. But it was good. Scott helped me through."
Scott to the rescue again.
"I think I'm gonna grab a shower."
"Dakota." He stood and she turned to him. "Is there anything I can do? Do you want to talk about it?"
She shook her head. "Not now thanks. Maybe tomorrow."
He shoved his hands in his pockets. "I'll be here."
He watched her and Bowgie disappear out of sight. His wolf paced deep in his chest. He wanted to go to her. To hold her, comfort her, and give her the strength to keep going. He wanted to forgive her.
***
Dakota stepped under the hot water and let it rain down over her. She closed her eyes and shrank into the hole inside her chest. Tonight she had done something she'd never done before. She'd told Scott everything. No holding back. No half-truths. No leaving things out. She'd told him all of it. Not just the drugs and the alcohol and the partying but the other things as well. The baby. The miscarriage. Going into Planned Parenthood for the surgery. All of the hellish emotions erupted fresh again, like a volcano spewing out its destruction.
Scott said she needed to tell Griffin, but to what end? Why lay all of her guilt on him? Her shame. No. She needed to find a new place to stay and let him go. She'd put herself in this position; she would get out of it— on her own.
She washed her body, wrung out her hair and stepped out of the shower. Wrapping the towel around herself, she realized she'd gone in without any clothing. She opened the door to find Griffin standing at the dresser. He turned and his eyes widened slightly.
"I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were in here." She started to close the door.
"No, it's fine. I just wanted to grab a sweatshirt."