GUILTY PLEASURE (STEELE FAMILY Book 13)

by Brenda Jackson

  “I’ll wait in the living room until you finish,” he said in a deep guttural tone, as if the words had been forced from his throat.

  She glanced over at him. “If that’s your desire, Cohen.” She clearly saw what he desired from the size of him below his zipper. A man’s erection was always a dead giveaway and the book suggested that she keep her eye on the prize. In this case, the big E. In Cohen’s case, the massively big E.

  He moved toward the door and she wondered if he had the willpower to leave. Regardless of what he said, she could see that he wanted her. Her heart began beating in her chest. Was his willpower stronger than his desire for her?

  He was within a foot of the door when he stopped, turned and looked at her with those eyes that made her skin burn. He raked his gaze all over her body—taking in the skimpy pair of panties and red stilettos--before finally zeroing in on her face. His eyes held hers and her heartbeat pounded in her ears. Then he began to slowly walk toward her.

  To her, this night would be something special. Cohen wasn’t just handsome, he was hers. She loved him. She’d always loved him and was determined that one day, he’d love her too.

  When he reached her, he stopped. Then, without saying a word, he leaned in and captured her lips. The moment his mouth touched hers, chills of intense pleasure rippled through Dee’s body. They consumed her, making her delirious with desire. She’d known it would be this way. That last kiss had plagued her for weeks, and had been the driving force to this, a repeat performance.

  For a man who’d been determined that she leave his apartment a few moments ago, he’d obviously forgotten, because he’d taken control of her mouth. When he deepened the kiss, she had never felt so consumed by a man. And when she felt his hands wrap around her naked middle, to pull her close, the feel of his jeans rubbing against her naked skin was a total turn-on. She moaned and he managed to literally absorb the sound from her lips. His mouth become hungrier, more demanding…devouring.

  He suddenly broke off the kiss. She watched through glazed eyes as he tore off his clothes. With each piece he removed and every inch of naked skin exposed, she had to force her breath through her lungs. Cohen Carlson was so perfectly made that she felt an intense drumming start in the lower part of her stomach, just by looking at him. Once he had stripped down completely, he then returned to her. Kneeling, he removed her shoes and then slid her panties back down her legs.

  And then he did something she hadn’t expected. Something that had never been done to her before. Ever. He leaned in, and easing his mouth between her legs, he devoured her. Right there. She gasped at the contact of his tongue sliding inside of her and grabbed on to his shoulders, to save her from melting to the floor.

  He was licking her with an intensity that brought on a moan from deep within her throat. With each stroke of his tongue, she dug her nails into his shoulders. Suddenly, she felt something move within her, beginning at the top of her head and gliding rapidly to the soles of her feet, making her entire body shiver. The tip of his tongue continued to play with her clit, as she moaned and called his name, telling him to stop one minute and go deeper the next.

  In response, he jabbed his tongue inside her and did a certain kind of whip-lash movement that had her screaming. An orgasm--her very first man-made one--ripped through her, wrenching her body as every muscle became tight and rigid. His tongue wasn’t through with her yet, though. Its strokes quickened and became even more demanding.

  And then suddenly, he withdrew his mouth. Standing, he tumbled her onto the bed. “You tasted so good,” he whispered huskily, moving his body over hers.

  Honestly, she didn’t know what to say to that--no man had ever told her that before. But then, she’d never given one a reason to. Cohen lowered his mouth to hers, kissing her in a way that made her toes curl and ignited sensuous sensations within her all over again, and her mind went blank.

  She was so caught up in the kiss that she didn’t discern him easing her legs apart until she felt his engorged erection pressing against her womanly folds. She knew she should tell him about her total lack of sexual experience but he’d stop if she did. And she didn’t want him to stop. More than anything, she wanted this. She wanted him to be her first…and her last.

  Dee felt him ease into her and knew when he detected the barrier telling him it was her first time. He broke off the kiss and stared down at her. She was certain he saw the pain she couldn’t hide in her features. Refusing to let him back out, she tightened her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck and forced his mouth back down to hers. She knew he’d given into temptation when he returned her kiss. After a brief moment, the pain of it being her first time began easing away.

  He filled her with his full length, then began moving inside of her. He was stroking her into sweet oblivion, setting a rhythm that was driving her mad with desire as pleasurable sensations flitted all through her. This was how it was supposed to be. He was with her and she wanted to believe this was just the beginning.

  And then, it happened again. As he kissed her and moved within her, she began trembling as an orgasm took hold. Suddenly, he did something she hadn’t expected. He broke off the kiss, threw his head back and screamed her name. Her name. Just hearing it from his lips while gripped in the throes of passion pushed her over the edge once more.

  At that moment, as his body continued to buck and jerk while thrusting into her wildly, she believed he’d finally accepted what she’d always known. They were meant to be together.

  She fell asleep and when she awoke, it was the next day. She opened drowsy eyes to see the brightness of the sun shining in through the window blinds. The first thing she noticed was that she was in bed alone. When she heard a sound, she shifted her gaze from the window to glance across the room. Cohen was fully dressed and sitting in the wingback chair in the corner. He sat staring at her, his legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles.

  He had an unreadable expression on his face, but she felt comfortable enough to smile over at him. How could she not, after experiencing such wonderful lovemaking last night. She doubted that she would ever forget how it had felt when he’d exploded inside of her. When he’d broken off their kiss to scream her name. When he’d--

  “We should not have done what we did last night, Dee.”

  His words intruded into her thoughts. She chose to ignore them, smiling as she answered, “It was time that we did, Cohen.”

  “No. It shouldn’t have happened.”

  “I don’t think so. Now stop talking and come back to me. I want you here,” she said, patting the empty side of the bed.

  He eased up out the chair, his eyes narrowed, his posture rigid and stiff. His hands were tightened into fists, at his sides. “You don’t get it, do you?” he said, his tone sharp.

  What was there not to get? They’d made beautiful love together. “I don’t understand, Cohen?”

  “What we did was wrong. You should not have come here. I should not have made love to you.”

  “But you did. Why are you trippin’ about it?” It was quite obvious that he was angry. At her. At himself. At the situation.

  “Dammit Dee, I didn’t even use a condom.”

  She waved off his words. “Is that what’s got you all upset? Relax. My doctor put me on the pill a few years ago. So as much as I would love to be pregnant, I’m not.”

  He swore, and then inhaled a deep breath as if he was fighting to control his anger. Obviously, he wasn’t getting through to her the way he wanted to do. Again she patted the empty spot beside her. “Come back to bed, Cohen. We can talk later.”

  He stared at her for a minute and then stepped back. “I need you to get dressed and leave, Dee. Regardless of how you feel about it, what we did was wrong. I should never have touched you. I’m sorry.” He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “I’m leaving for a while. When I get back, I want you gone. I mean it, Dee.”

  Yes, he meant it, but she needed
to know why. “Why are you doing this to us, Cohen?”

  “Us?” He chuckled derisively. “There was never an ‘us’. Last night we were nothing more than bed partners. You offered something and I took it. I should have refused you. Now I feel guilty as hell.”

  “Don’t feel guilty on my account, Cohen.”

  “I’m not. I feel bad about what I’ve done. If you were Stacey, and I found out one of your brothers had done such a thing to her, I would--”

  “Mind your own business, I hope. I’m not a child. I am a woman who is old enough to do what I want, with whoever I want. Last night, I wanted you.” And then, because she needed him to understand, she added, “I love you.”

  He looked at her, shocked. “Love me?”

  She was disappointed that he’d thought she’d sleep with him without being in love with him. “Yes. I’ve loved you forever, Cohen.”

  He shook his head. “Sorry you believe that.”

  She glared at him. “Don’t be sorry. I know my feelings and I do love you.”

  “In that case, I would advise you not to waste any of your love on me. Give it to someone who deserves you. Someone who can be the person you need. Someone who can love you in return. Because I can’t. I don’t love you.”

  Then without saying anything else, he walked out the room. She flinched at the sound of the front door slamming shut behind him.

  She stayed there for a few moments after he left, trying to convince herself he hadn’t meant what he’d said. But deep down, she knew. Fighting back tears, she got out of bed, put on her clothes and left Cohen’s apartment…

  Dee opened her eyes, her thoughts returning to the present. She was still in Eli and Stacey’s home, standing with her forehead pressed to the window. Remembering her first time with Cohen had brought back painful memories. She recalled going back to her apartment, refusing to give up on him, thinking what he needed was more time. In the meantime, she’d begun dating Eric Stallings, so that it hadn’t looked as if she was waiting for him to make a move. Eric was nice enough but her heart belonged to Cohen. Even when he moved to Phoenix, she’d never stopped loving him.

  She’d thought that a little time apart might have made him rethink things, that he might have gotten over his inhibitions the night of his going-away party. Again, she and Cohen shared an incredible night. But then, the next morning, the same thing had happened. He’d told her it was a mistake. Totally crushed, she’d taken the first plane home to Memphis.

  Now he was here and they were sharing the same air. Two and a half years without seeing him should have destroyed any feelings she had for him. And she’d thought they had. But it had only taken seeing him again tonight, inhaling his scent, feeling his presence, to make all those emotions she had tucked away come rolling back.

  The bottom line was…she still loved him, though she wished she didn’t. Which meant that she’d have put her heart in lockdown. No matter what she had to do, she wasn’t going to let Cohen hurt her again.

  6

  Cohen was tired of tossing and turning in bed. He knew the reason he couldn’t get to sleep. Dee. It had been hard enough to see her tonight, attracting all that male attention in that way-too-sexy outfit and those killer stilettos. But once he’d decided not to avoid her, he couldn’t stop his gaze from drifting to her lips. Those same lips he’d enjoyed kissing way too much. He’d felt a sizzle of awareness pass between them.

  What the hell was wrong with him, getting all steamed whenever he’d seen her with another man? He should have been glad that she’d finally come to her senses, that she was looking for someone else. And least he didn’t have to worry about her pulling some seduction stunt again.

  Sitting up in bed, he rubbed a hand down his face. Frustration was setting in again, a common thing whenever he thought of Dee. He’d have thought it would be easier now. After all, it had been more than two years since he’d seen her. But thing’s weren’t any easier. Why?

  After the stunt she’d pulled in Memphis, he hadn’t wasted any time accepting a job in Phoenix. It had been his fault. He should have known better, should have handled the situation differently. Instead, he’d behaved like a horny ass and taken what she’d offered, only to regret it the next morning.

  Once in Phoenix, he’d tried putting Dee out of his mind. He had struck up a friendship with the Steeles and started a new life. He knew his limitations and made sure he never went beyond them. He’d only dated when it suited him and had shaken his head at the sexual antics of a then-single Tyson. Cohen’s best friend had dated enough women for both of them.

  But before long, Stacey had moved to Phoenix after breaking up with that lowlife, Wallace. Cohen had been able to avoid Dee’s occasional visits to Phoenix, right up until the night of his going away party at Tyson’s place. He had been filled with a lot of emotions. The job offer, with its subsequent move to Florida topped the list. It was a dream of a lifetime, but he’d had misgivings about moving and leaving Stacey behind, especially after what had happened when he’d left her in Memphis. But then Eli had announced that he and Stacey had been having this secret affair right under Cohen’s nose. They were in love and wanted to get married.

  That declaration had dissolved a lot of his concerns and he’d been happy for his sister. Still, he made sure that he and Eli had a one-on-one talk after the party. Afterwards Cohen had been sure that Eli loved his sister and would never break her heart the way Wallace had.

  Eli had proposed to Stacey at the party. Dee had been bustling over with happiness and when she’d thrown herself in his arms, he’d forgotten about his decision to keep his distance from her. When the party ended, she’d asked him for a ride back to Stacey’s place, since Stacey would be spending the night with Eli. Against his better judgment, he had agreed.

  Halfway there, she’d come up with a whole slew of reasons why she didn’t want to stay in Stacey’s house alone. She’d asked him to take her to his place for the night, offering to sleep on the sofa. Warning bells had sounded in his head. He’d seen the signs that night but had chosen to ignore them. His only defense, if he thought he could claim one, was that Dee had looked damn good that night in a short purple dress and killer stilettos. And he’d have to admit that the sexual awareness between them had been thick enough to cut with a knife.

  So, without much resistance, he had taken her to his place with his eyes wide open and his erection hard. The minute he’d closed the door behind them, the battle was lost. All he could think about was having her again. They’d ended up making love until dawn. He could honestly say that Dee was the best sex of his life. Why was he thinking about that now?

  His thoughts shifted back to tonight’s party. Dee was spending the night with Stacey and Eli, but for all he knew, she could be somewhere with Midas Coronado. Was it any of his business if she was?

  Although he didn’t ask Stacey, he figured Dee would be flying out sometime tomorrow. He hoped so, especially since he’d made plans to hang around Phoenix for another week or so. Since getting that position at the hospital in Florida, he hadn’t really taken any time off. He needed a break.

  Cohen couldn’t help smiling at the thought of becoming an uncle in around eight months. He’d definitely return to Phoenix to be on hand for that. He wouldn’t miss it for the world.

  **

  “Good morning,” Dee said, entering the kitchen to find Stacey and Eli sitting at the table, eating breakfast. She couldn’t help noticing the huge smiles on their faces. She didn’t have to guess why.

  “Good morning, Dee. Sleep well?” Stacey asked, getting up to give her a huge hug.

  “Yes, thanks.” She patted Stacey’s stomach. “I can’t believe you have a baby growing inside there. That’s pretty friggin’ awesome.”

  “I think so, too,” Eli said, smiling broadly, before taking a sip of his coffee. He stood and taking his plate, headed for the sink. “I’m on my way to play a game of basketball with the guys.”

  De
e knew the “guys” were his brothers and the Steele cousins who’d come to town from North Carolina, as well as a few friends. No doubt Cohen was included, unless he was returning to Florida today. “Have a good game.”

  He chuckled. “Thanks. I have all the confidence in the world that the Phoenix Steeles will defeat the North Carolina Steeles.” Walking back to the table, he gave Stacey a kiss on the lips. “I will see you ladies later, baby.”

  When he’d left, Stacey glanced over at Dee. “Don’t you just love a confident man?”

  Dee chuckled as she strolled over to the stove to fill her plate. It had been the aroma of bacon that had awakened her. “Evidently you do.”

  Stacey’s smile widened. “Yes, I do. I truly do.”

  Dee heard the happiness in Stacey’s voice and was happy for her. She deserved it and Dee was grateful that her friend had married into such a wonderful family. Coming to the table to sit down, Dee asked, “So, when is Cohen going back to Florida?” She figured she might as well mention it. The question had been on her mind all morning.

  Stacey gazed at her over the rim of her coffee cup. “He hasn’t said, but I know it won’t be for another week or so. Maybe two.”

  That surprised Dee. “That long?”

  “Yes. Cohen is finally taking a real vacation. He hasn’t had one since taking that job in Florida. Now he has no choice. The hospital is making him take the time he’s built up. It’s their policy.”

  “Good. He’s such a workaholic,” Dee said, sprinkling salt onto her eggs.

  “He is that. Dedicated to a fault.” She gave Dee a sly look. “He noticed your outfit, by the way.”

  Dee stopped what she was doing and glanced over at Stacey. “Did he?”

  “Yes.”

  “And how do you know?” She tried to slow down the sudden racing of her heart. It shouldn’t have mattered one way or the other. But it did.

  “Because he hauled me off to the nearest bedroom to read me the riot act. Like I can tell you what or what not to wear. He thought you were showing too much skin. And he didn’t like how cozy you were getting with Midas Coronado.”