What Happened to Sophie Wilder

by Christopher Beha

  It was nearly comical, what had become of her appearance. But it wouldn’t matter. She knew this, because she could see what was to come, almost all of it. She was going to present herself to them. They would wash her and change her and give her rest. In the morning she would begin preparations. And when the time came, they would welcome her inside the gates, and she would never leave again. She was going to be forgiven. She would give her life for it.

  And a life’s work it would have to be: she couldn’t know until the very last page if she had been redeemed.

  Acknowledgements

  I don’t know that I can express what it means to have a publisher as committed as Tin House Books has been. Tony Perez is a wise and sensitive editor. Nanci McCloskey’s intelligence and enthusiasm are more than I deserve. Meg Storey’s response to my work meant more than she can know. Some years ago Helen Schulman introduced me to the Tin House family, into which Rob Spillman and Elissa Schappell welcomed me; I’m grateful to call them all friends. And I thank Win McCormack for making it all possible.

  At times Sarah Burnes believed in WHTSW more than I did. She is not just a dogged agent but a brilliant reader and a rare human being. Never did a call go unanswered or an e-mail ignored, even amid difficult times. My appreciation for her and Logan Garrison and everyone at the Gernert Company is as unflagging as their effort on my behalf has been. Sarah also gave this book its title, by the way.

  I have been blessed with great friends, and I thank all of them. I offer particular thanks to those who read this manuscript or otherwise contributed to its completion: Bret Asbury, Millicent Bennett, Brian DeLeeuw, Jim Fuerst, Macy Halford, Dane Huckelbridge, Alexis Rudisill, Benjamin Taylor, and Moira Weigel. The Twin Keys kept me honest.

  Thanks to everyone at Harper’s Magazine.

  Much of this book was conceived while I sat beside Mimi Escott in her final months. She gave me not just her permission but her encouragement to make use of the time we spent together in whatever way my imagination saw fit. This was a gift she hardly owed me, but it pales beside the gift of having known her for twenty-seven years. I think of her every day, as I will for so long as I have thoughts to think. I thank her, Sanny Beha, and all the Escotts, Ganses, and Radloffs.

  Finally, and essentially, neither this book nor its author could have survived without the love and support of Jim (mon semblable, mon frere!) and Alyson Beha, Mary Alice and Len Teti, or my parents, Jim and Nancy Beha, to whom this book is proudly dedicated. My six nieces and nephews are an endless wonder to me, and the two who will be added to that count by the time this book sees the light of day are an inspiration. You saved me, and I love you all.

  Copyright © 2012 Christopher R. Beha

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission from the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews. For information, contact Tin House Books, 2617 NW Thurman St., Portland, OR 97210.

  Published by Tin House Books, Portland, Oregon, and New York, New York

  Distributed to the trade by Publishers Group West, 1700 Fourth St., Berkeley, CA 94710, www.pgw.com

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Beha, Christopher R. What happened to Sophie Wilder : a novel / by Christopher R. Beha. —1st U.S. ed.

  p. cm.

  eISBN : 978-1-935-63932-9

  I. Title.

  PS3602.E375W47 2012

  813’.6—dc23

  2012005758

  What Happened to Sophie Wilder contains phrases from Wallace Stevens’s “Country Words,” T. S. Eliot’s “Ash Wednesday,” Immanuel Kant’s Critique of Pure Reason, Robert Frost’s “Stars,” and Rainer Maria Rilke’s “Autumn Day.”