To Tell The Truth Series 01 Spirit Guide

by Melanie

  "Preliminary scans indicate he is in severe distress," the hologram answered, running over his patient with a medical tricorder.

  "I honestly can't figure out why," Chakotay said, still kneeling in front of Tom as he used a dermal regenerator on his own injured hands.

  "Chakotay, what happened to your hands?" she asked, distractedly noticing what he was doing.

  "I splashed some hot wax on them by accident. It's nothing to do with Tom."

  "I see. Doctor, any idea what is happening to Tom?"

  "Not entirely. His brain activity is abnormal to say the least. When did this distress start, Commander?"

  "Not long after he began," the First Officer responded, setting aside the dermal regenerator.

  The Doctor ran the tricorder over the akoonah. "I would need an Engineering tricorder to be certain, but I think there is something wrong with this device."

  "But it checked out okay after the last time I used it."

  "Whether it worked then or not, turn it off," Kathryn insisted.

  The Doctor prevented her from doing so. "Captain, right now we are going to do nothing of the sort."

  "But you just said-"

  "It is would be like waking a sleepwalker, Kathryn," Chakotay insisted. "It would be a huge shock to Tom's mind if we abruptly dragged him back here."

  Frowning, the EMH looked at the Commander. "Setting aside the debate about whether Mr. Paris's consciousness truly is on some other plane, the fact of the matter remains I cannot explain what is going on with his brain. The reading are like nothing I ever have encountered before. I cannot permit you to interfere with him in anyway until I know it will not cause permanent and severe brain damage."

  "We can't just leave him like this!"

  "We have to... for now."

  Kathryn's shoulders slumped as she realised they were right. "You'll move him to Sickbay."

  "No, I don't think so," he contradicted, turning back to his patient. "Not at this time anyway. I don't know what the transporter might do to him or the device. Moving him bodily might break his contact with it. For now I think it is best to keep him here. Let him come around in the same surroundings he saw when he... left. More soothing. I'll have monitoring devices set up to watch over him but for now he'll have to stay where he is."

  "Monitoring devices are fine, but I don't want Tom left alone."

  "I'll be here," Chakotay assured her, "and I'm sure Tom's friends will come sit with him when I can't be."

  "Surely it won't take that long."

  The Doctor shrugged. "I'm not sure how long it will take, Captain."

  "Tom may still come out of this naturally," Chakotay added.

  "I'll go retrieve the equipment I need." Handing the tricorder to the Captain, the EMH departed.

  "Tell me again how you've seen this sort of reaction before," Kathryn snapped. The pained look on his face elicited a sigh from her as she ran a hand through her hair. "I'm sorry, Chakotay. That was uncalled for."

  "No, it was, Kathryn. I should not have let him do this. I had a bad feeling about it before he even got here tonight. I honestly thought it was just me not trusting his motivation for wanting to do this. I never thought it might be an omen. Until now, I've never heard of anyone having an adverse reaction to this. I honestly didn't think there was any danger involved." He glared at the akoonah. "I scanned it after I used it the last time. As routine maintenance. All readings were normal. I can't understand this."

  Tom let out another scream. They both jumped.

  Shaking, she pressed her free hand to her lips. "Wherever he is..."

  "Is not anywhere we want to be," he finished for her as frightened as she.

  -------

  'It was no use,' Tom realised. 'They just keep coming. The more he struggled, the worse it all became.' He curled into the foetal position, eyes screwed shut against the pain. The memories continued to flood him, painful ones long ago shoved to the recesses of his mind.

  The first time he knew someone was his friend only because of his family name.

  The earliest realisation he was a disappointment to his father.

  The despair in discovering no matter what he did he never would hear his father say he loved him.

  The loss of his first love, Susie Crabtree.

  The hell of Caldik Prime.

  The months of aimless wandering, alcoholic blackouts, and bar fights.

  The depths to which he had sunk to survive.

  The suspicions of the Maquis.

  The censorious looks of the Starfleet officers who captured him.

  The dull ache of not having even one member of his family at his trial.

  The torments at the hands of his fellow prisoners.

  The lengths to which he had to resort to ensure his safety in New Zealand.

  The impotence to stop Durst's death in the Vidiian prison

  The attempted murder of Harry in Akritirian prison by Paris's own hand.

  They all left him as tattered and near defenceless.

  That was the instant the ones he had not even known he harboured struck. They swarmed over him, like scavengers over carrion. They picked him clean of the last, precious residue of self-control and self-defence he possessed. They continued tearing at him until all that was left of him was a few metaphorical bones scattered here and there.

  It was they who forced him to begin to remember all. Horrific memories, some locked away for over thirty years. All the proper terms came back to him along with graphic demonstrations of exactly what they signified. He was there, reliving it all again, as powerless to stop any of it as he had been at the time they had occurred.

  And "they" were glad.

  Now he knew who the "they" were who had been pursuing him. Now he was terrified of them, not just afraid.

  -------

  Despite knowing all of them were too intent on their prey to look far up into the tree and see her, she shrank back against the tree trunk. Unlike her, everyone else obviously knew what was going on. Clearly, they were sharing some sort of telepathic link which did not include her and as much as she wanted to know what was happening, she was reluctant to reach out to merge her consciousness with the man's to find out. There was the fear in her that the predators would sense the merging and take it as a sign they were together and pounce on her, too. She would not permit herself to be placed in the position of having to align herself with someone who was the wrong man merely for protection from his attackers.

  And surely this was the wrong man. Yes, he was the correct build and colouring, but could the one who had been described to them have done anything so horrid so as to merit this sort of treatment? Could anyone? She could not see any physical blows being made, but she could see the results and they were ghastly.

  Yet she could not bring herself to leave, not when there remained a chance it was him.

  So she stayed, safely hidden where she was, and watched the gruesome spectacle far below, certain it could not become any worse.

  -------

  She was wrong. All the while, waiting in the background, were two who were delighted to witness the man's misery. These two were had special meaning to Tom Paris. They were not quite like the others. Their grudge against him was even more personal.

  Their lips were curved into identical sneers. They were pleased by the events unfolding before them. They had enjoyed watching his memories return to him, literally with a vengeance. What did not please them though was that in spite of the lingering morals of which others had tried and failed to strip him, he felt no remorse for what he had done to them.

  But they were going to see to it that changed and he came to regret everything that he had done to them.

  When the others had expressed the full brunt of their rage towards the injured man before them, they retreated to the shadows to silently watch the macabre show which was about to begin. They smiled as Gul Camet and his biological father, Legate Meer, approached their murderer with mayhem on their minds.

&nbs
p; -------

  B'Elanna never had felt quite this way before. She felt so helpless. Her arms ached to hold her beloved, to make the pain and fear she saw so clearly etched on his handsome features go away, to soothe his now occasional cries. But she could not hold him or touch him or comfort him in any way. The Doctor had been adamant with B'Elanna, Harry, and Neelix about that when they had been told of Tom's troubles and volunteered to take shifts sitting with him. No touching, the Doctor had ordered. No talking to him. No urging him to rejoin them. No interfering in any way. Just leave him be until the Doctor figured this out or Tom awoke on his own. That order frustrated everyone, especially B'Elanna.

  And you thought having to sit through staff meetings without being able to do more than a bit of surreptitious hand holding under the table was bad, she told her self. This, this is Hell. Only the thought she might do him more harm than good kept her in position seated crossed legged opposite him on the floor.

  "How's he doing?"

  She looked up into Harry Kim's worried eyes as he entered the quarters. "No change."

  The same battle she had so recently fought with herself over physically comforting Tom was evident on Harry's face. His hands clenched and unclenched at his sides. She reached out a hand to him and he took it, eyes never leaving their friend.

  "He will come out of this."

  Harry looked down at her. His doubts visible in his eyes.

  "He has to, Harry."

  "What if he doesn't?"

  "He will." She flashed him a grin which did not reach her eyes. "We have a date tomorrow night and he knows how ticked off I get when he misses one of our dates."

  Offering her a slight smile, he took a seat next to her, their hands still clasped. "You went through this -- well, not this, but what Tom was trying to do, right?"

  "Yes, but nothing like this ever happened."

  "I know Commander Chakotay says it is personal and all, but what was it like? What happened?"

  "Well, I performed the ritual he taught me, deep breathing and meditating, and suddenly I opened my eyes and I was in this strange place I'd never seen before. It was warm and sunny and I was in the middle of this giant meadow full of tall grass and wildflowers. Behind me was this big shade tree right there in the middle of the nowhere. There wasn't another tree in sight. And perched on a branch was this..." She grimaced distastefully.

  "This what?"

  "This bird. The ugliest thing I'd ever seen. It just sat there, staring at me with these huge eyes." She shivered again.

  "And that's when you tried to kill it."

  "Well, it was ugly!"

  "That's a reason for killing something?"

  She went on as though he had not spoken. "Besides, I didn't like the way it was looking at me."

  "Looking?"

  "Like... I don't know how, I just didn't like it."

  Harry shook his head.

  "Anyway, it was nothing like what's happened to Tom. Chakotay was with me the entire time. Well, he wasn't actually with me there, but he was with my body anyway. He says the only time I was the least bit agitated was right at the end. It must have been when I..."

  "When you were trying to kill a poor defenceless bird who's only crime was to look at you funny."

  "Defenceless? You should have seen the beak and talons on that thing."

  A whimper from Tom reminded them of their purpose there. Both sets of eyes snapped to the man. His posture had not changed -- it remained as perfectly straight as when he had begun -- but both received the impression that mentally at least he was cowering.

  "At this rate, his readings will enter into the dangerous range within a day," the Doctor told the Captain and Commander as the three entered the latter's quarters.

  "We have to do something," B'Elanna demanded.

  "I still have not been able to discover a safe course of action, Lieutenant. Until I have one, we can risk Mr. Paris." He frowned heavily at the display on the monitoring device he had set up on Chakotay's small dining table. "If only there were some way to get into his head and evaluate the situation from there."

  "Perhaps Tuvok could initiate a mindmeld," the Captain suggested.

  "I already discussed that option with him and decided against it. Though they have successfully melded in the past, Mr. Paris's brain activity is too erratic to do so safely this time. And, of course, given his highly emotional state it might be too much for Lieutenant Commander Tuvok's Vulcan controls. With the Vulcan telepathic abilities, his losing control could have a detrimental effect on the remainder of the crew."

  Chakotay glanced at Tom and his worried friends then looked the Doctor in the eye. "I could go in."

  Everyone else turned to him.

  "I could use the akoonah I gave the Captain to visit her spirit guide. Perhaps my spirit guide can explain what is happening with Tom."

  "Even if it would work, which I doubt, I would rather not risk it, Commander. I already have one patient I cannot treat. I do not need two."

  "But I've never had any trouble like this, Doctor. Besides, we don't have any other options."

  The EMH considered this. "Only if the device is fully checked out by Engineering first," he begrudged. "I don't want any more malfunctions."

  "Agreed. Captain?"

  Kathryn looked at Chakotay for a long moment then her eyes fell to Tom. Slowly, she nodded her assent.

  -------

  Thirty minutes later, Chakotay opened his eyes to find himself in a meadow of wildflowers and tall grass. This was not too out of the ordinary. He had been here before with his spirit guide. What was extraordinary was the sinister looking woods approximately forty metres away. That was a new sight for him.

  His spirit guide, seated on her haunches next to him, also was watching the forest. The wolf did not look up or acknowledge his presence though he knew she knew he was there.

  "Where are we?" he asked, looking around him at the unfamiliar surroundings.

  *We are here.*

  That was less than helpful, thought Chakotay, but, used to her way of making him figure things out for himself, he let it pass. "I am looking for one who came here and has not returned to us."

  *He is there.*

  Chakotay looked around. "Where?"

  The wolf gestured with her muzzle towards the dark woods. *There.*

  "I've never seen that place before."

  *That is because it's never been here before.*

  "Never been here?"

  *Yes.*

  "It just appeared out of nowhere?"

  *It came when he came.*

  "And he is there."

  *Yes.*

  "I need to see him."

  *You cannot.*

  "He has been here too long."

  *There is no time here.*

  "He is needed elsewhere."

  *That is where he must be for now.*

  "I have to go get him. He has to leave-"

  With narrowed eyes, the wolf finally looked at him. *Only he will know when it is the time to leave. You may not influence him by going there.*

  At times her firm tone reminded him of the other important woman in his life. Perhaps that was the partial explanation for his attraction to Kathryn? Shoving that thought aside yet again, Chakotay sighed. "There are those who become increasingly worried with every second he does not return."

  *That cannot be helped.*

  "What is that place?"

  *It is what it is.*

  "It looks dangerous."

  *It is that.*

  Those three, tiny words worried Chakotay.

  The wolf sensed this. *If he is strong, he shall survive. If he is not, he shall not.*

  "There is nothing I can do to help him?"

  *You may not interfere with things you were not meant to understand.*

  "At least tell me he found his guide and it is with him."

  *He did not and it is not.*

  "What?!"

  *His guide is there, with his mate, waiting for him to
emerge or not.*

  Following her gaze, Chakotay looked towards the woods, or rather slightly to the left of the part of the woods at which he had stared previously. There, not part of the woods but some metres distant from the edge of them, was a lone tree. Sitting on a branch of that tree was a magnificent golden eagle and an equally impressive, though much smaller, peregrine falcon, both intently staring into the dense vegetation. Given huge eyes of the falcon snuggled up to the eagle, he guessed the smaller bird was B'Elanna's spirit guide. Seeing it was present caused the last of Chakotay's concerns over B'Elanna's involvement with Tom to evaporate. If her guide was there so obviously comforting the eagle, her mate -- no matter how much ornithologists would argue about the improbability of such a pairing in the "real" universe -- it could only mean their counterparts belonged together as Kathryn maintained. He smiled at the thought B'Elanna finally had found her mate and had the chance of happiness.

  'Provided Tom survived,' he reminded himself, smile fading. His eyes settled on Tom's guide animal. 'A golden eagle,' he thought. 'What else would the cocky, natural born pilot have for a guide?' "I understand why the falcon is not with him, she is not his companion, but why is the eagle out here and not in there with him?"

  *He is not yet ready for him.*

  Suddenly there was a scream from the woods. Human. And undeniably in pain. Chakotay leapt to his feet to rush to Tom's aid but the wolf blocked his path and he literally flew head over heels over the back of the animal.

  "What did you do that for!" he shouted angrily.

  *You were told you may not help him.*

  "But-"

  *It is for him alone to do this. No one else.*

  "But-"

  *No one else.*

  The wolf resumed her seat. Chakotay picked himself up off of the grass and brushed off his uniform. Another scream made him tense but, with supreme effort, he stood his ground. His spirit guide nodded at his restraint. Sighing, he sat next to her to wait.

  -------

  "It's been over an hour."

  No one responded to Neelix's comment. In fact no one had said much of anything since long before he had arrived to confirm the rumours of the Captain and the Doctor rushing to Tom's side. He himself had only left once to collect refreshments for those who were standing vigil over the two meditating men seated on the floor. The sandwiches -- leola root free though they were -- remained untouched on the coffee table. Captain, sitting beside Neelix on the couch, cradled her fifth cup of Neelix's latest coffee substitute. No one else could muster much interest in eating or drinking.