Matt (The Cowboys)

by Leigh Greenwood

  He preferred to think about his brothers rather than what might lay ahead. He blamed himself for the kidnapping. Isabelle would never have let Hank ride over to the ranch if she had known Matt wasn’t there. He hadn’t told anybody where he was going because he didn’t want Wilbur getting to the judge before he did.

  Hollender must have guessed the judge would decide to wait on the results of the examination once he knew the nature of the charges. In hindsight, Matt wondered if Hollender hadn’t gone to the judge knowing Matt would head straight for San Antonio once he learned of the decision. Matt kicked himself for trying to do everything himself. He should have talked to the sheriff. At the very least he should have told Jake and Isabelle what he meant to do.

  He hadn’t wanted to go to the Broken Circle because he couldn’t hide anything from Isabelle. He wasn’t sure she’d ever really believed he and Ellen could make their marriage work, but it would be easier on him if he didn’t have to explain their failure. He needed time to accustom himself to the fact that he’d come so close and lost. Just thinking about it brought the pain back. Sometimes stronger than ever.

  He didn’t know how he could endure the remaining weeks before the adoptions were final. Maybe if he got Hank, helping the boy regain his confidence and self-respect would occupy his time until the sharpness of his loss dulled a little, but it would never go away. This had been his one chance, the only chance he wanted.

  The tracks veered off into the brush, then returned to the trail rather quickly. Apparently Hank had broken away and Hollender had caught him and forced him back on the trail. Matt told himself he couldn’t imagine a man forcing himself on a boy who fought as hard as Hank must be fighting, but then he remembered his own uncle. Nothing had ever stopped him.

  Except death.

  He tried to hold back the rage that boiled inside him. He must not lose control. No matter what Hollender had done, he must not take the law in his own hands. Killing his uncle had cost him Ellen. Killing Hollender would cost him the boys. Matt didn’t think he could endure two such blows.

  He was approaching Hollender’s ranch. The fences needed repair and the corral rails needed to be replaced, but the barn and house seemed solid. A quick search revealed that Hollender hadn’t brought Hank here. The only other possibility was Hank’s parents’ ranch. He had passed that figuring Hollender wouldn’t go to a burned-out wreck. Now he realized Hollender had gone there because he knew Matt would come here first.

  He had lost valuable time. He urged his horse into a fast canter, agonizing over every lost minute, wondering if he could have been in time if he’d just thought to check the abandoned ranch first.

  When he reached the turnoff, he remembered why he’d passed it before. The trail led past the turnoff. Hollender must have continued well past the cutoff, then doubled back, figuring Matt wouldn’t look for any more tracks once he eliminated the abandoned ranch. Matt felt like a fool. He’d let his anger at Hollender and his torment over losing Ellen cause him to miss important details. People always complained he was too controlled, too emotionless. Now, when he needed those very traits, he’d allowed emotion to overcome him, and Hank would be the one to pay the price.

  A short distance down the road to the farm, the hoof-prints of two horses entered the trail. The fire of anger began to warm his blood. The house itself had been burned, but the sight of two horses in front of the barn spurred him on. Matt dismounted more than a hundred feet away. He didn’t want Hollender to hear him coming.

  He raced across the yard, the soft soil muffling the sound of his boots. He slowed as he approached the barn, then rushed in through the open door. After the bright sunlight, he was unable to see anything in the shadowy inside of the barn. But he heard the sound of running feet, someone escaping through the back.

  “Matt.” The voice was weak and unsteady.

  “Hank, where are you? I can’t see.”

  “I’m over here. Go get him, Matt. Kill him. He said no matter where you took me, he’d come after me again.”

  “Are you all right?”

  “Get him, please. Kill him.”

  Trusting Hank was truly all right, Matt ran through the bam and out the back. The sunlight momentarily blinded him, but he could see Hollender running down a path toward some live oaks that grew along a dry wash. Matt paused. He had a choice. Hollender would either cross the wash or attempt to circle back and get his horse. Matt didn’t know the ranch, but he expected Hollender would try to circle back. Matt’s best choice was to conceal himself in the brush and wait.

  He’d hardly hunkered down behind a mesquite bush when he saw Hollender working his way back to the barn under cover of the clumps of grass and cedar that dotted the range. Matt tried to stay hidden, but it wasn’t long before Hollender saw him. The man ran with the speed of a deer. He was barefooted and in long johns. Matt was slowed down by high-heeled boots, but he was determined Hollender wouldn’t beat him to the horses.

  “Stay away from me,” Hollender shouted. “I’ll kill you.”

  Matt concentrated on running.

  Hollender stooped down, grabbed up a rock, and threw it. The man had a strong and accurate arm. Matt had to change course to avoid being hit in the head, but he gained a few steps on Hollender.

  “You can’t arrest me. There are no charges against me.”

  Matt didn’t waste time arguing. He sat down and wrestled his boots off. He lost precious time, but now he could run as fast as Hollender. Thinking he had outdistanced Matt, Hollender made straight for his horse. Taking a chance he could catch Hollender off guard, Matt came around the far side of the barn. Hollender had already mounted his horse and was leaning out of the saddle, trying to catch up the reins of Matt’s horse. With a final effort, Matt leapt through the air, catching Hollender by the shoulders before he could straighten up. He pulled Hollender out of the saddle and pounced on him the moment he hit the ground.

  Hollender fought like a tiger, quick and elusive, but Matt was bigger and stronger. Knowing Matt’s greater strength, Hank’s uncle put all his effort into staying out of reach. He managed to keep Matt from getting a grip on him until he slipped, made a sharp turn, and fell to his knees. Matt threw himself on Hollender and pinned him in the dirt with his body.

  Taking him by the throat, he slammed Hollender’s head against the ground. “That’s just a taste of what I’m going to do,” he said between gasps for breath.

  Making a superhuman effort, Hollender threw Matt off, but he didn’t get away.

  “I want you to experience what it must have felt like to Hank to know he couldn’t get away,” Matt said once he had him down again, “to know you could abuse him as long as you wanted.” He slammed Hollender against the ground again. “I’m just sorry I can’t make you feel his humiliation, can’t make you hate yourself.”

  He slammed him against the ground again.

  “What kind of man would abuse his own nephew?”

  Wham!

  “A child without parents, without family.”

  Wham!

  “Do you understand what it’s like to wake up trembling with fear every day, not knowing when it’ll happen, but knowing it will?”

  Wham!

  “It’s like living in hell.”

  Wham!

  “And no one will help. That’s the irony. No one will believe that an uncle would do such a thing.”

  Wham! Wham!

  “And after a while you can’t leave because you’re so dirtied, so foul, so putrid no decent person would have anything to do with you.”

  Wham! Wham! Wham!

  Hollender’s eyes had rolled back in his head. His tongue lolled out the side of his mouth. A voice inside Matt shouted at him to stop, but his blood was up.

  Wham! Wh—

  “Matt, stop! You’re killing him.”

  He felt hands on his arms, pulling at him. Through his rage he heard Ellen calling to him. But Ellen was back at the ranch.

  “Matt, he’s not worth your
life. If you can’t think of yourself, think of all the people who love you.”

  Matt turned to see Ellen bending over him. He didn’t know how she’d gotten here. He released Hollender, who lay still, unconscious.

  “Why did you come?”

  “I couldn’t let you sacrifice yourself, not even for Hank. There are too many people who need you, who love you.”

  Matt warned himself not to hope, not even to think, but he couldn’t stop himself. “Do you love me?” he asked.

  “Yes, I love you. I’ll always love you.”

  “I wasn’t going to kill him,” Matt said between ragged breaths. “I wanted to, but I wasn’t going to do it.”

  Ellen wanted to believe him, but he’d come far too close for her comfort. “Where’s Hank?”

  “In the barn.”

  “Is he okay?”

  “He said he was, but I didn’t check. I couldn’t let Hollender get away.”

  It was dark inside the barn, but the sun shining in from the back door fell on Hank. He was lying in the dirt, his feet and hands tied. He lay so still, Ellen worried for a moment that he was dead.

  “Did you get him?” Hank asked.

  “Yes,” Matt said.

  “The sheriff will be here soon to take him to jail,” Ellen said.

  “I wanted you to kill him.”

  “I know, Hank, but you can’t just kill a man. Not even when he deserves it.”

  Matt knelt next to the boy and cut the pieces of cloth Hollender had used to tie him. Hank lay there, his body pulled up in the fetal position. Ellen moved around Matt to get a better look. Hank’s face, shoulders, and back were covered with bruises, several of them bloody. He looked as if he’d been beaten nearly senseless.

  “Is anything broken?” Matt asked the boy.

  “I don’t think so.”

  “I’ve got to check. I’ll try not to hurt you.”

  Ellen stared in disbelief. Even the boy’s legs were covered with bruises. It looked as though Hollender had systematically beaten every inch of his body. Matt handled Hank as gently as possible, but he moaned in pain several times. After a couple of minutes, Matt stood. “I’ll get some water to clean him up,” he said to Ellen. “I’ve got some salves in my saddlebag. We’ll have to stay here tonight. He’s in no shape to ride.”

  “Did he … I mean, can you tell if…?”

  “Yes.”

  Ellen felt waves of revulsion roll through her like nausea. Not even Matt’s description had prepared her for this. She knelt down next to Hank, cupped his face in her hands. “I’m so sorry,” she said. “I should never have agreed to let you come to the ranch.”

  “It’s not your fault. He would have gotten me sooner or later.”

  “It is my fault,” she said angrily. “My fault, the sheriff’s fault, the town’s fault. Everybody’s fault. Matt told them what that man was like, but nobody believed him. Let me help you up.”

  “No.” His voice was urgent. “I don’t want to move. I’ll just lie here for a while.”

  “But you’re lying in the dirt.”

  “It doesn’t matter as long as I’m safe.”

  Ellen cried tears of helpless fury, rage, guilt. Everything was so wrong, and she didn’t seem to be able to do anything to keep it from getting worse. “He won’t ever touch you again. I promise. Why did he beat you?” It seemed a stupid question to ask, but she couldn’t understand it.

  “He always beat me,” Hank said. “This time it was worse.”

  “But why?”

  “He said it was better for him.”

  She didn’t understand. She didn’t want to think she could understand. It was too horrible for words. “Do you mean he …” She couldn’t get the words past her tongue.

  “He said it was better for him,” Hank repeated.

  Something inside Ellen snapped. From her parents’ deaths to Eddie Lowell’s attack, Hollender represented everything that had ever happened to her and the people she loved. She got to her feet and strode from the barn. She passed Matt coming in but didn’t stop. She went straight to his horse and took his rifle from the scabbard. She cocked it to drop a bullet into the firing chamber and marched over to where Hollender was trying to sit up. She pointed the rifle at his head.

  “I’m going to kill you,” she said in an unusually calm voice. “But I’m not going to make it easy by shooting you in the head.” She shifted her aim to his groin. “I’m going to make sure you never touch another boy, never ruin another life. Then I’m going to watch you bleed to death. If one bullet doesn’t do it, I’ll keep shooting you until you look like a sieve.”

  “Ellen, give me the rifle.”

  She moved out of Matt’s reach. “You saw what he did to that boy. He beat him because he liked it better. I wish I were strong enough. I’d beat him the same way. Then I’d kill him.”

  “Give me the rifle.”

  She continued to evade Matt while keeping the rifle pointed at Hollender.

  “You can’t kill him for the same reasons I can’t. What would happen to Noah and Tess?”

  Ellen felt like her brain was being pulled through a narrow tunnel.

  “Give me the rifle, Ellen. Take this water and bathe Hank’s wounds.”

  The sound of hoofbeats brought Ellen out of her mental paralysis. She looked down to see the rifle in her hands. Horrified at what she’d been about to do, she backed away from Hollender and threw the rifle down. It went off, discharging its bullet harmlessly in the distance. Hollender backed away from her.

  “I was going to—”

  “The sheriff is here,” Matt said. “He can take care of Hollender. You and I need to see to Hank.”

  “Drop!”

  The shout startled her, but not nearly so much as Matt’s grabbing her and throwing her to the ground. She heard two shots, figured she must have blacked out. Nothing made any sense.

  “What happened?” she asked as she pushed herself into sitting position.

  The sheriff had ridden up and dismounted. “Matt was so busy trying to keep you from killing Hollender, neither one of you saw him take a gun from his saddlebag. If Matt hadn’t thrown you to the ground so quickly, he’d have hit one of you before I could get a bullet into him.”

  She looked at Hollender. He didn’t move. Matt walked over to where he lay, knelt, and turned the body over. “He’s dead.”

  “I was afraid of that,” the sheriff said. “I had to get a shot off real quick. I didn’t have time to aim properly.”

  Ellen could see the bullet hole. It was exactly between Hollender’s eyes.

  “I would have killed him,” Ellen said. They were sitting around the fire they’d used to cook their supper. The sheriff had taken Hollender’s body back to Bandera. They had cleaned Hank’s wounds and bandaged them as best they could. He was asleep in Matt’s bedroll. “I don’t know what came over me. I couldn’t see anything except what he’d done to Hank. I had to make sure he would never do that to another boy.”

  Matt put an arm around her and pulled her close. He poked around in the coals of the fire.

  “That’s how you felt about Will, wasn’t it?”

  He nodded.

  “If I had killed him … would you have considered me a murderer?”

  “No.”

  “Why?”

  He turned toward her. She could barely see his expression in the firelight, but his eyes glowed luminously. He knew what she was feeling because he’d been there. No theory, no what ifs. He’d done it and lived with it ever since.

  “Because you couldn’t do anything else.”

  It was that simple. He’d been willing to sacrifice himself for Will. Though no one had ever punished him for what he had done, he’d punished himself every day of his life. Why couldn’t she have seen this before? She had to tell him about herself. She owed him that much.

  “I never told you, but when I was fourteen a man killed my parents in a fit of anger. I got a gun and went after him. I didn’t find him, s
o it came to nothing. Afterward I was so horrified by what I might have done, I wouldn’t let myself think about it. When you told me about your uncle, I couldn’t accept you without accepting myself first. I was too much of a coward, so I turned my back on both of us.

  “But when I thought Hollander might kill you, I couldn’t avoid it any longer. I would have killed Anthony Howard if I’d found him. What I did tonight proves it.”

  “I’m sorry. I wish I’d known.”

  “I’m not telling you about my parents, I’m telling you about me. I could have killed two men!”

  “You wouldn’t have.”

  “But I might if circumstances had been different.”

  “I’d still love you.”

  She wanted to shake him, force him to display some emotion. He was so damned calm and understanding, it was infuriating. She’d have been yelling at him, telling him men never understood, men never—But Matt wasn’t men. He was Matt, and there was only one of him. Fool that she was, when would she realize she loved him because he wasn’t like any other man?

  “I love you,” she said.

  He leaned over and kissed her lightly. “I know”

  She gripped him by the shoulders. “I said I love you. I don’t want to move to San Antonio. I want to stay with you, be your wife, adopt all five children, and have that many of our own.”

  Matt looked like he’d been turned to stone.

  “Do you hear me? Do you understand?”

  “I killed my uncle.”

  “I know.”

  “Doesn’t that make any difference anymore?”

  “Yes, but not the way I thought it did. When I saw what Hollender did to Hank, I wanted to kill him. I would have done the same to protect Noah. If I can live with myself knowing that, how can I condemn you?”

  Matt looked like he didn’t quite believe what she said. “You’re not afraid I’ll lose my temper if something like this happens again?”

  “No. I probably should be depending on you to keep me away from a rifle.”