by J. A. Owenby
“I think it’s safer if I take it to the kitchen,” Tiffany replied. “You’ll finish all the bags of chips before we even get there.”
“Ha! Some things never change,” Nick said.
Tiffany led the way to the kitchen and Nick followed. Jared waited for a moment and then turned toward me.
“Ignore him. Nick’s harmless, I promise.”
I nodded.
“And I didn’t mean you’re mine—I just didn’t want Nick to come on to you. So, I hope that didn’t upset you. It’s just our way of talking. He’s a huge flirt, too. I didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable is all.”
“I appreciate it.”
Jared reached out and patted my arm. “You ready?”
“Yeah,” I said. I took a breath and turned on the best smile I had.
Jared took me through the kitchen and out the sliding-glass door to the back. There were at least twenty people on the back deck, and the grill was in full use. I took a deep breath and smelled the hamburgers and hot dogs. I noticed the path down to the lake and more people on the dock.
Jared waved at a short guy with a Dallas Cowboys baseball cap on.
“Jared!” the guy said as he walked over. His red hair peeked out from underneath the edges of his hat. “Glad you made it, man!”
“Thanks for having us,” Jared said. “I wanted to introduce you to Lacey. Lacey, this is Glen. This is his house and party.”
“Thank you for having me,” I said, smiling. “And nice hat.”
“Are you a Cowboys fan?”
“I’m just learning the game, but I like what I see so far,” I replied.
“Well, welcome!” Glen said. “Help yourselves to food and drinks—speaking of which, I’m gonna go check on the keg.”
“Okay, we’ll catch you in a bit,” Jared replied and then turned to face me. “You want a soda?”
“Yeah, that’d be great.”
“Coke or Dr Pepper?”
“Coke.” Dr Pepper would just make me miss George.
“Hungry?”
“Starving,” I replied.
Jared and I made hamburgers and grabbed some chips. We joined several others at a picnic table. He introduced me to everyone, and I waved as I sat down. I was glad Jared was sitting with me since everyone else already knew each other.
Tiffany was on the deck chatting with some gorgeous guy. I remembered her saying she wasn’t interested in dating anyone, but I wondered if she had the occasional hookup. Whoever the guy was, they were really flirting.
“That’s her ex,” Jared said in a low voice.
“Oh,” I said and frowned. “She told me she wasn’t interested in dating for a while.”
“He’s part of the reason why,” Jared replied. “They broke up a little over two years ago.”
“That makes more sense. Did he break her heart?” I asked as I glanced over at them.
“Actually, she broke his. She just decided to break things off out of nowhere. She said she didn’t want to be in a relationship anymore.”
“You didn’t find that odd? I mean, that she just woke up one day and that was it?”
“She’s funny like that. He’s a really good guy, too. I suspect she was worried that things were getting too serious.”
“How long did they date?”
“Three years.”
“Wow. I’ve never dated anyone that long.”
“Not even this last guy? The one that hurt you?”
My eyes widened, and I reached for my soda. “No one,” I replied.
Jared nodded and took another bite of his burger, washing it down with a swallow of beer.
“So you’re not a big drinker?” I asked as I eyed his beer.
“Nah, not after my dad. Once or twice a year I’ll get drunk and just have a good time, but other than that I don’t touch the stuff. T offered to drive tonight so I could relax and not worry about it.”
We finished eating, and I stuck close to Jared as he introduced me to more people. I’d lost track of Tiffany and wondered if she and that guy had slipped away for some privacy.
The sun began to set, and the music grew louder. I didn’t know how many beers Jared had had, but he was definitely tipsy. But, true to his word, he continued to make sure I was with him as he talked to all his friends. I had to admit that it was nice to see this other side of him. He was always in the dojo when I was around.
A few people gathered and began dancing in the middle of the deck as Sinéad O’Connor’s “Nothing Compares 2 U” played.
Jared bowed toward me and grinned. “Dance?”
“I . . . uh,” I stuttered.
“I won’t take no for an answer,” he said as he took my hand and led me to join the other couples in the center of the deck.
He slipped his arms around my waist and pulled me toward him, leaving a small amount of space between our bodies. I placed my hands on his shoulders and tried to relax. I’d been this close to Jared every day while we trained, but this was different. We weren’t in the dojo.
“I haven’t danced in a long time,” he said in my ear.
“That makes two of us,” I replied.
The smell of beer tickled my nose as he talked. He was definitely loosening up and feeling more relaxed.
“You having fun?” he asked.
“Yeah, it’s been nice to get out of the apartment and the dojo. Those are the only places I’ve really been since I got back.
“When did you come back?” he asked. He took one of my hands in his as he guided us along the edge of the makeshift dance floor. His dancing was as smooth as his karate style. I tried to relax, but this was the closest anyone had been to me since Xander. Panic swirled in the pit of my stomach.
“May,” I replied.
“Do you want to go back to Oregon?”
“If the circumstances were right I’d want to go back. I fell in love with it,” I said and attempted a smile.
The music stopped, and Jared released my waist. I let out a small sigh of relief as we separated.
“Let’s grab a beer, and I’ll take you down to the dock,” he said. “They’ll start the fireworks in a few minutes, and that’s the best place to watch them.”
“Okay,” I said.
Jared grabbed another beer and a Coke for me. We walked down the pathway, reached the dock, and sat on the edge. I slipped off my shoes and socks and dangled my feet in the water.
“Is it warm?” he asked, his hazel eyes dancing in the moonlight.
“Yeah, nothing like a warm lake to cool you off, huh?” I asked and wrinkled my nose.
“How are you doing with training? Are you getting more comfortable?”
This was the Jared I was used to.
“I am. In fact, I don’t think you need to tell me when you’re going to touch me anymore,” I said. “I know you’re not going to hurt me.”
“Awesome. That’s progress.”
“It is,” I said and nodded.
The darkness had settled in, and the first of the fireworks shot out over the lake. For the next half hour, Jared and I watched the show and sat next to each other in silence. The sky lit up with one spectacular display after another. I’d forgotten how vibrant the colors were over the water.
Everyone cheered afterward and then Jared and I were left alone on the dock.
“How ya feeling?” I nodded toward his beer. I turned to face him.
A warm smile spread across his face as he looked at me. “Good. Real good,” he said and laughed. “I’m usually a lot more fun when I’m drinking, but I’ve just been super mellow tonight.”
“That’s not a bad thing. I think you’re allowed to relax.”
“Yeah, it’s probably good for me. I get so busy teaching and training that I forget to take any downtime.”
I paused for a moment. “Can I ask you something? If it’s off-limits, just tell me.”
“Okay, ask away,” he said as he took another drink.
“What happened with your mo
m?”
Jared hesitated and frowned.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I shouldn’t have asked.”
“No, it’s fine. Don’t apologize. It’s not a pretty story, though. Are you sure you want to hear it?”
“For some stupid reason, I’m hoping it helps me.”
He stared at the water for a moment and sighed. “Dad had a drinking problem. At first, he’d smack Mom around when they’d argue about money. It got worse over the years. Sometimes they didn’t fight at all, and he’d just come home and hit her. I tried to intervene, but I was too little. When I was thirteen, he started smacking T. That shit didn’t work for me, and I’d pull him off her. He was still stronger than me, but I could take a beating better than T could. She’d run upstairs and hide under my bed until the fight was over, and come out after everything settled down. She tried really hard to help and would bring me ice for my black eye or whatever other bruise he’d given me.”
He took another drink from his beer as I continued to listen.
“The time came for me to leave for college. I actually stayed close and came home on the weekends. I was working out on a regular basis and had gotten a lot stronger. When the fights started, I’d antagonize him so he wouldn’t go after Mom or T. Hell, I felt more like a club bouncer than a son. But you gotta protect your family, ya know?” He glanced at me.
I nodded.
“T graduated high school and left for college, which meant I didn’t need to come home every weekend. I’d begged Mom to leave him, but she never would. I don’t know why. I think that was all she knew, and back then when you got married, you just didn’t get a divorce . . . no matter what. Anyway, I called one week like I always did, and she begged me to come home for the weekend. I said yes. I hadn’t seen her in about a month, even though we talked on the phone all the time. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to see her—I did. I didn’t want to see him. She was a great mom, she just wasn’t strong enough to leave him.
“I drove home that Friday night and pulled into the driveway. As soon as I opened my car door, I could hear the yelling from inside the house. I barged into the front door, and that son of a bitch had a hold of her shirt and was pounding her face with his other fist. I ran to her, whirled him around, and knocked the bastard smooth out. I remember seeing Mom’s face . . .”
His voice dropped to a whisper. “Jesus, she was so bloody. Her entire face was busted, and her eye was swelling shut. I—”
“Jared, it’s okay,” I said. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea,” I whispered and lightly touched his knee.
He grabbed my hand as he buried his face in the crook of his arm. A thick silence hung in the air between us. I felt like shit asking him to talk about it.
“She died right there in my arms,” he choked out.
I gasped as I pulled him toward me and wrapped my arms around him. He laid his head on my shoulder and slid his arm around my waist. I didn’t say anything else.
For the first time, I had a small inkling of what Emma and Walker had felt while going through everything with me. Helpless. I couldn’t do anything for Jared except hug him. There were no magic words to take away his pain. I closed my eyes and tried to calm the ache in my chest.
Jared finally sat up, but he didn’t pull away.
His fingers lightly traced my cheek as he tilted my chin up toward him and his lips gently met mine. My body went rigid under his touch, and I pulled away.
“Jared,” I whispered.
“Sorry, that was unexpected,” he said and cleared his throat. The crickets sang in the distance as I struggled with something to say.
“Just forget it happened,” he said. “It’s the beer.”
I bit my lip. Had he meant to kiss me, or was it the mix of alcohol and the emotional moment? My stomach sank. I didn’t want anything to get in the way of our friendship.
“I shouldn’t have asked about your mom,” I said as I dipped my toes back in the water.
“I didn’t have to tell you. I—I see her in you in so many ways. I want better for you, Lacey. I don’t want you to live in fear or end up like her. I’d never forgive myself.”
“I’ll be okay. You and Tiffany . . . you guys mean a lot to me. I mean, shit. I’m a social butterfly tonight,” I said and laughed. “You got me out of my apartment and around other human beings. Ask Emma. That’s no easy feat these days.”
I took a deep breath. I sounded more sure of myself than I felt, but I needed to change the subject for Jared’s sake.
Jared smiled as he tilted his beer up and drained it.
“What are you two doing down here?”
My head snapped up to see who was coming down the pathway.
“Hey, T,” Jared said.
“What’s up? You guys just hanging out?”
“Just talking,” I said. I didn’t want Tiffany to know about the kiss, and I certainly wasn’t going to tell her about our conversation. If Jared wanted to say something to her, he could.
“You guys ready to go?” she asked.
“What time is it?” Jared replied.
“Almost midnight.”
“Really?” I said as I stood up. “That was fast. It doesn’t seem like we’ve been here that long.”
“It’s all about having fun,” she said, grinning.
I wanted to ask her about her ex, but I figured I’d asked enough questions for the night.
We said goodbye to everyone and headed home. Before I realized it, Jared had fallen asleep in the backseat and Tiffany was pulling into my apartment complex.
“Thanks,” I said. “I’ll see you guys in the morning.”
Tiffany reached across the seat and gave me a hug.
“Hey,” she said as I stepped out of the car. “Is he doing okay?”
“Yeah. He’s good.”
Chapter 18
I woke up Saturday morning to the sound of voices on TV. I rubbed my eyes and tried to clear them. The smoke from the fireworks last night had dried them out. I enjoyed the Fourth of July, but it always smelled bad, and the smoke just hung in the air.
Thoughts of Jared’s kiss lingered while I took a shower. His lips were so soft. But it had happened so quickly—I almost didn’t even realize he’d kissed me until it was over. I cared about him, but to what extent I wasn’t sure. I was just trying to pick up the pieces of my life and put them together again. I did want him in my life, but for now he was my friend, boss, and sensei. I didn’t think he would’ve kissed me if he hadn’t been drinking. And his mom. I mentally kicked myself. I should never have asked him about it.
I closed my eyes as the hot water streamed down my body. I couldn’t imagine having someone you love die in your arms. I wondered if that was what Walker had experienced—horror and anguish mixed into one ball of emotion.
I turned the water off, grabbed my towel, and got dressed. I pushed the thoughts out of my head as I opened my bedroom door.
“You know you’re welcome here anytime,” Emma said.
Curious, I continued down the hall. Apparently the voices hadn’t been on TV after all. I was thankful I’d showered and put on a bra.
“Make yourself comfortable,” Emma continued. “If you’re still here when I get home, well, I’ll see ya then.” She laughed.
“Who—” I asked as I stepped into the living room. “Holy shit. Are you for real?” My eyes widened in shock as I stared at Walker.
“Lacey,” Emma chided me. “Be nice. I have to go to work, so I’ll see ya later,” she said as she opened the front door. “I mean it. Be nice,” she said again as she closed the door behind her.
“You can’t just show up like this,” I said and walked into the kitchen to grab some coffee.
“I wanted to see how you’re doing,” Walker said. “You look good.” He shoved his hands into his front pockets as he stood in the living room.
I blushed as I took a sip of my drink.
“So, what the hell?” I asked as I leaned against the kitchen counter. “You h
ave a nasty habit of just leaving. At least this time you didn’t show up with an ex-girlfriend on your arm,” I said and smirked.
He flinched. “I deserve that. Something came up, and I had to go. You were so pissed at me I didn’t think you cared. I was taking a chance of you screaming at me even coming over here this morning, but I needed to see you. I wanted to know how you were doing.”
“You were gone for weeks. Emma didn’t even know where you were. You practically lived here, Walker. You don’t just leave like that.”
“Emma knew where I was. We were in touch.”
My eyes widened and then narrowed as I glared at him. “What do you mean Emma knew?”
“She knew where I was.”
“Then why wouldn’t she tell me?” I put my hand on my hip.
“I asked her not to,” Walker said. He ran his hand through his hair. It had grown over the last few weeks.
He sat down on the sofa and leaned back. “I’m sorry. You were dealing with enough already, and I didn’t want you worried about it.”
“Well, will you tell me now?” I asked as I dropped my hand from my hip.
Walker nodded. I set my cup on the coffee table and sat on the opposite corner of the sofa. I turned to face him and grabbed the dark-brown corner pillow and put it in my lap. This had better be good.
“I went to Missouri.”
“Missouri . . . wait, Garrett?” I asked as I sat up straight. “Is he okay?”
“How’d you know he was in Missouri?”
“He never told you?” I asked, surprised that Garrett hadn’t said anything to Walker about seeing me at Susan’s funeral.
“Told me what?”
“I’ll explain later. Is he okay?” I asked impatiently. “That’s where you were, right?”
“Yeah. I visited for a couple weeks. He wants to come back to Arkansas, and now that he’s fifteen, the judge will take it into consideration. I’m almost twenty-two and I can support us, so I filed for custody. I was working with an attorney, completing papers, and spending time with him. He said to tell you hi.”
“He did?” Tears gathered in my eyes.
“He misses you,” Walker said.
“Oh God. I miss him too. Fifteen? How? Like, how did that even happen?” I asked and laughed through my tears. “Wait, Walker, you didn’t tell him what happened to me, did you? Please tell me you didn’t,” I pleaded.