by J. A. Owenby
“You’ll train me specifically for the test?”
“Yeah. That’s all we’ll do for the next few weeks.”
“Weeks?” I asked as my voice squeaked.
“About that. We’ll most likely have about a month. I’ll have to contact the other guys to see what night works for them, but we’ll have some more time. You already know everything, it’s just getting you prepared mentally.”
“I’ll do it,” I said and blew out a big breath.
“Awesome. I’ll let you know the date as soon as I find out.”
“Sounds good. I’ve gotta get home. Have a good night,” I said.
“You too, Lacey.”
Chapter 23
I took my time walking home. I mentally practiced the takedown on the way, but my mind kept going back to Jared on top of me, and the way he looked at me. Maybe Emma was right—maybe something was happening with Jared.
I walked up the apartment stairs lost in thought. I opened the door and put my bag and keys on the kitchen table. I needed a shower.
“You sure do get sweaty for a girl.”
“What?” I said and spun around. “Holy shit!” I yelled and ran to Garrett. He wrapped his arms around me, lifted me off the floor, and spun me around.
“Surprise,” he said as he set me down again.
I realized I hadn’t paid attention to any of them as I’d come into the apartment. I peeked at Walker and Emma on the sofa and looked back at Garret again.
“Oh my God. I can’t believe you’re here! And what are they feeding you? You’ve grown a foot since I last saw you,” I said as my jaw dropped.
Walker and Emma laughed.
I squeezed his muscular arms and stared up at him. “You’re not so little anymore,” I said with a hint of sadness in my voice.
“Yeah, I hit a growth spurt.”
“And your voice is deep! It was cracking every time you talked a few years ago.” I shook my head and hugged him again. “How are you here? Walker didn’t have time to pick you up, did he?”
“Nah, Dad had meetings in Hot Springs today.”
“I’ll take it. I would’ve been home sooner if I’d known you’d be here.”
“It’s alright. Walker and I had some stuff to talk about, and we ate dinner at Rod’s. We’ve only been here for about fifteen minutes.”
“Oh good. Listen, as you can see and most likely smell, I need a shower and some clean clothes. Are you guys staying for a while?” I asked.
“We have a few hours,” Walker replied.
“Okay, I’ll be fast,” I said as I ran down the hall.
* * *
Ten minutes later, I reappeared with wet hair and fresh clothes. I went to the fridge and grabbed bottled waters for myself and Garrett.
“I’m going to be rude and take Garrett outside so we can catch up.”
“You? Rude?” Walker asked and laughed.
I scrunched my nose at him as I handed Garrett his water, grabbed his arm, and led him to the patio.
We both grabbed a chair as I opened my water and took a drink. I stretched out my legs and propped them up on the railing.
“How are you?” I asked as I searched his face. Garrett’s hair wasn’t a sandy blond anymore. It had darkened, and he’d lost the last bit of boyishness around his face. Not only had he gotten a lot taller, but he was no longer a scrawny kid. He’d filled out everywhere. I reached out and placed my hand on his arm. I couldn’t believe he was sitting outside with me.
“Honestly?” Garrett asked.
“Nothing but,” I replied.
“Shitty.”
“Does life just suck in general or is it something specific?”
Garrett cleared his throat as he took a drink of water. “Everything. Missouri is stupid, and everyone who lives there is too.”
I tried to hide my smile. “Everyone in Missouri? That’s a lot of stupidness,” I said.
“When did you turn into a smart-ass?” Garrett said, grinning from ear to ear.
“Ha ha. You have no idea,” I said. “But seriously, what’s going on?”
“My dad’s an asshole, I hate school, and everything has been shit since Mom died.”
“I know what you mean, buddy,” I said as I stared out at the trees.
“I guess my dad’s okay, but I didn’t even know him. And then, all of a sudden, I’m moving in with him. Walker left for the military, Mom died, you were gone, and the move. It just all went to hell.”
“Walker said he’s trying to get custody of you.”
“Man, I hope that works out. It sucks to be somewhere you don’t belong. No matter how hard I try to fit in with my stepmom and half sister, I just don’t. I have two friends at school, and that’s it. I keep busy with football, but most of them are assholes too.”
“Football is good. Sometimes hitting someone can make you feel better,” I said and wiggled my eyebrows at him.
He leaned back in his chair and propped his legs up on the railing. My eyes widened at the size of his feet.
“How tall are you?” I asked as I inspected him again.
“Five eleven.”
“Wow. You’re gonna be taller than Walker soon at this rate.”
“I know. I love it,” he said, smiling. “But since he boxes, he can beat my ass, so I won’t give him a hard time about it.”
“That’s funny. I know he wants you to move back here with him. He loves you, Garrett. He has a lot of guilt about going into the military and leaving you. I think he just tried to make the best decision under shitty circumstances. And I can’t imagine what it’s like for you without your mom.”
“I’ve got this hole inside me I can’t seem to fix. At least if I moved in with Walker I’d have my real family again. And you.”
I smiled at him. “That would be great, buddy.”
“It sounds like I’m not the only one who’s had a shitty few years.”
I hesitated. I couldn’t tell him about Xander. He had enough crap to deal with. “I’m taking karate, and I have a great sensei. His name is Jared. He trains me every day,” I said, attempting to change the topic.
“Do you like him?”
“Like as in a boyfriend like him? We’re just friends. He and his sister really helped me after I came back home. I was a mess. Hell, I still am, but it’s getting better.”
Silence filled the air.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Nothing. I guess I just thought you and Walker were doing well,” he said as sadness clouded his features.
“We are. The best we’ve done in two years. We’re friends right now. I need that. So much trust was broken between us that I just want to get to know him again. We’ve been through so much, and we aren’t the same people we were back then. He told you I was in a fire, right?”
“Yeah, how are you doing after that? Walker wouldn’t give me a lot of details, but I got the impression there was more than what he told me,” Garrett said.
“There was a lot more, and maybe I’ll tell you one day, but not tonight. I just want to spend time with you while you’re here. I’m so happy to see you. That day, at your mom’s funeral, I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.”
“Me neither. I was so stoked when Walker said he’d seen you and that you guys were talking.”
I laughed. “If that’s what you want to call it. I wasn’t very nice to him at first. Did he tell you he was the person who got me out of the fire?”
“In Oregon? No, he never told me that. What the hell?”
“He saved me, and that’s all you need to know right now. Whether I wanted him here or not, he’s shown up almost every day to help me get better. The only times he’s left have been to go to work and to see you.”
“Are you sure you won’t tell me anything else that happened while you were in Oregon? Why was he out there?”
“That I can tell you. He’d just gotten divorced and he came out to see if we could talk,” I said. “But seriously, that’s enough
for tonight. I promise I’ll fill you in sometime soon though, okay?”
“Just take care of yourself, Lacey. I miss you,” Garrett said softly.
“Yeah . . . I miss you too, buddy.”
“I gotta take a leak. Where’s your bathroom?” Garrett asked as he stood up.
“Down the hall on the right,” I said as I followed him into the apartment.
He walked down the hall, and I shook my head. I never would’ve guessed he’d grow up like he did.
“I’m so glad you brought him over,” I said to Walker as I plopped down on the sofa between him and Emma.
“You’re welcome, but I think he needed to see you even more,” Walker said.
“He doesn’t seem like he’s doing well.”
“He’s struggling. I’m doing everything I can, but part of life is dealing with shit we don’t like.”
“Ain’t that the truth,” I muttered.
“But he’s just fifteen, and he’s already gone through so much,” Emma said. “He seems like such a good kid.”
“I am,” Garrett said as he came out of the bathroom.
We all laughed as Walker stood up. “We’ve gotta get going. His dad will be ready soon.”
“His dad? You two don’t share the same dad?” Emma asked.
“He hasn’t been my dad since he walked out on my mom when Garrett was six,” Walker replied. “But as long as he’s taking care of Garrett, I’m making an effort.”
“An effort for custody?” I asked.
“That’s funny,” Garrett said and laughed.
“You ready?” Walker asked Garrett.
“If I have to be.”
I stood up and reached out to hug Garrett again. He wrapped me in his arms and held tight.
“I’ll see you soon,” I whispered in his ear.
He released me and ruffled my hair.
I turned toward Walker and hugged him too. “Thank you for bringing him.”
“I’ll try and get him here again soon, okay?” he said.
I nodded as Walker gently kissed my forehead.
Sadness crept over me as I watched them walk down the apartment stairs. I closed the door and ran my hands over my hair.
“That was a nice surprise,” Emma said as she walked into the kitchen and grabbed a soda.
I pulled out a kitchen chair and sat down. “Sometimes I wonder what things would’ve been like if Walker and I had stayed together. Maybe Garrett would already be back home.”
“Lacey, you can’t think like that. The best thing you can do is to continue to heal and get stronger. That’s the best gift for you and everyone in your life.”
I nodded. I knew she was right, but my heart hurt. Seeing Garrett tonight reminded me of how terribly wrong it had gone for all of us.
Chapter 24
I worked my ass off over the next several weeks. I managed to maintain a steady routine and training schedule with Jared, and Walker continued to come over every day after I got off work and on the weekends.
By the time the day of my test arrived, my nerves were frazzled. It would start at six that evening, and if all went well, I’d receive my yellow belt.
My gi had finally come in, and I unwrapped it from the plastic and shook it out. Jared had taught me how to tie the belt, but I struggled with it.
“Emma!” I yelled from my bedroom.
“Yeah?” she asked as she came into my room. “Oh! You’re so cute in your pajama things,” she said and laughed.
“Ugh! It’s a gi, and I can’t figure out how to tie the belt. I would hate to walk in there tonight and ask Jared to help me in front of all the other sensei.”
I glanced at the clock. I only had ten more minutes before I had to be there.
“Walker should be here any minute, and we’ll go a little early, okay?”
“Yeah,” I said as I hurried to the bathroom and put my hair up into a ponytail. Then I wrapped it up and piled it in a bun on top of my head, securing it with another hair tie. I didn’t want it in my face while I tested.
“Are you excited?” Emma asked as she sat down on my bed.
“I’m so nervous. What if I screw up, or worse, pass out? I don’t know these people. What the hell did I agree to do?”
“You know Walker and me. You also know Jared and Tiffany. Won’t they be on the floor with you?”
“Sort of. They’ll be sitting at the front of the room with the other sensei watching every move I make!”
“So, focus on them. You’re surrounded by more friends than strangers. Don’t forget that. And remember why you’re doing this.”
I walked out of the bathroom and stared at her. “You’re right. I’m doing this so no one can hurt me again,” I whispered.
“And to teach me. After you get this belt, I expect lessons.”
I laughed. “Emma, what would I do without you?” I walked over and hugged her.
“I’m so proud of you,” she said as she hugged me back. “You’ve come such a long way already.”
“Thank you. I couldn’t have done it without your support.”
“Well, you sure have been through more than most, but you never fail to have people around to help you get through it.”
“Hello?” Walker yelled from the living room.
“Oh! Good, let’s go,” I said as I grabbed my belt and ran down the hall. Walker grinned from ear to ear when he saw me in my gi. “Oh shit, my shoes!” I said and tore back down the hall. I rounded the corner to my room as Emma handed me my shoes and laughed.
“Let’s go,” I said as I hopped on one foot at a time and slipped them on.
Walker offered to drive since it would be dark after I was finished. He pulled into the parking lot and I was out of the car before he’d even put it into park.
I walked through the dojo door, belt in my hand, as calmly as I could. I stopped short when I saw the group of black belts in the middle of the wood floor.
My breath quickened as everything became more real, but I was determined to hold on to my promise to myself—to be able to beat Xander Koffman’s sorry ass if I ever had to. I took a deep breath and waited at the edge of the floor for permission to enter.
Jared waved me forward. He strolled toward me and smiled. “You ready?”
“No!” I whispered. “I can’t get my belt on.”
“It’s okay, don’t stress about it,” he said as he placed his hand on my shoulder and guided me toward the side of the dojo. “Let me have it. I’ll do it for you this time, and then we’ll practice tomorrow. Now that you have your gi, you’ll wear it during training.”
I nodded as I lifted up my arms slightly and he stepped into me and wrapped the belt around my waist twice. He pulled it tight, and I automatically stepped into him. Our eyes met as a tremble traveled through my body.
“I know you’re nervous, but you’re going to do great.”
“Nervous isn’t the right word. I’m scared shitless.”
A smile pulled at the corner of his mouth as he finished tying my belt.
“Thank you,” I said as I peered at the other sensei. They didn’t seem to be paying anyone attention except for Tiffany. I sighed, relieved.
“I need to go talk to my sensei, so why don’t you stretch and we’ll get started in a few minutes.”
I bit my lower lip and nodded.
I turned toward the back of the room and spotted Walker leaning against the wall next to the front door. He gave me a small wave. Emma grinned as she sat down at the table.
Thirty minutes later, I’d completed my test and was officially handed my first colored belt. For the first time in years, pride coursed through me. I’d accomplished something positive, even if it was only a yellow belt. I’d worked my ass off for it, and I was one step closer to my goal.
Jared introduced me to all the other sensei, and Tiffany took pictures of us together. You would’ve thought I was the only student who’d tested for a belt by the way they acted, but Jared and Tiffany knew how much I’d strug
gled over the past several months. I’d gone from drunk to fighter, and they’d helped me every step of the way.
Jared pulled me aside as everyone was preparing to leave. “Tomorrow we have the kids’ class, but my sensei thinks you should be in at least one regular adult class a week. I can still train you one-on-one, but he mentioned it’s important for you to continue to become part of the larger picture.”
“Oh,” I replied as my face fell. “But what if I freak out again?” I asked, tugging on my hair and releasing the bun.
“I think you should try the class that Tiffany also comes to. That way you can stick close to her, but I also want to introduce you to some of the other guys in there, especially Kasey. I have no doubt he’ll really like you. He’s a stand-up guy, and you can’t have too many friends with black belts.”
“Okay,” I said. “It’ll help that Tiffany will be there.”
“And me. I’m always there,” he said, smiling. “You can train right in front of me if you want, but I’m hoping you’ll get comfortable around the other guys too.”
“I understand. Thank you for all your help. I got my yellow belt!” I said, smiling from ear to ear.
“I’m getting a nasty look. I think your friends are waiting for you,” he said and nodded toward the back of the room.
“What?” I asked and turned around to see what he was talking about. Walker glared in our direction as he crossed his arms over his chest.
“Guess I need to go. Thanks again, Jared. Bye, Tiffany!” I said as I walked over to join Walker and Emma.
* * *
Walker was silent on the ride home, but Emma congratulated me and chatted a mile a minute. Walker pulled into the parking lot and Emma and I got out of the car. Emma headed straight for the stairs to the apartment while I waited for Walker. It took me a few seconds to realize he wasn’t getting out too.
“Hey, aren’t you coming up?” I asked.
His window rolled down. “I need to go, but congratulations. You did great,” he said and attempted a smile.
I frowned. He always came over before he went to work. What was going on?
“You sure?”
“Yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow.”