by J. A. Owenby
“I’m glad Walker wasn’t here tonight. I needed girl time,” I said, smiling.
“Me too. I don’t get to just hang out with you very often. I love having Walker here with us, but sometimes I just miss you and me. You were gone for nearly a year, and we lost touch. I don’t ever want that to happen again,” she said.
“Agreed,” I said. “He’ll be back tomorrow?”
“That’s what he said, and I don’t have any reason to not take him at his word.”
“Emma, can I ask you something?”
“Of course!”
“Do you have feelings for Walker?”
Her mouth dropped open. “What? Are you serious?”
I searched her face for a minute. “Yeah, I’m serious. You talk about him all the time, and the guy can do no wrong.”
“I had no idea you thought that. I’m actually embarrassed.”
“Why? Are you in love with him?” I asked as I straightened in my chair.
“No, no! You’ve got it all wrong. Just calm down.”
I wasn’t sure I could. I hadn’t really thought much about it until it came out of my mouth. Emma talked about him all the time, defended everything he did, and giggled when he was around. Shit, shit, shit. My eyebrows knitted together at the thought.
“Walker and I are just friends. He is in love with you, not me!” she explained quickly.
“Him being in love with me has nothing to do with whether or not you have feelings for him,” I said.
“I care about Walker as a friend. I couldn’t have made it through these last few months without him. Have you ever stopped to think that I might be scared that your mom or Xander might knock on this door someday? When Walker’s here, I feel safe. He takes good care of you, he’s protective of both of us, and as long as he’s here, I don’t worry about you or who might show up at our apartment.”
“Emma,” I said, feeling like a horse’s ass. “I had no idea.”
“I can’t tell you this stuff, it’ll freak you out. I talk to Walker about it. He knows I get scared sometimes.”
“I’m so sorry,” I said as my hands dropped into my lap. “I never realized how much I’ve not only screwed up my life, but everyone else’s too. It never crossed my mind that I was putting you in danger,” I said as my eyes grew wide. “I can leave. I can go somewhere else. I don’t want you to be scared all the time. It’s not fair.” A heaviness settled into my chest as I finally realized how far the consequences of my relationship with Xander had reached.
“No, that’s not what I’m saying at all. You’re not going anywhere—this is your home too. I would never ask you to leave.”
“But I would. I would leave to keep you safe,” I whispered. I closed my eyes and willed the tears away, but they spilled over anyway.
“You’re not leaving, and this is not your fault. You didn’t tell Xander to be a monster. You can’t control him. And this is the end of this conversation. The only reason I said anything was so that you know there is nothing between Walker and me. We have a good friendship that’s entirely based on you. Nothing else. I think he’s grown up a lot since you two were together. And I don’t know what’s going to happen with Jared, but I do hope you won’t close the door on Walker.”
I stared at her for a moment and wondered what in the hell I ever did to deserve such a good friend. Emma loved me no matter what I got into. She had always been there for me, and I’d just accused her of having feelings for Walker. I felt like shit.
“What time is it?” I asked.
“Almost ten.”
“Come on,” I said and stood up. I walked into the living room and waited for her.
“What are we doing?” she asked as she joined me.
“You can’t be scared to open the door. I know how that feels. It sucks. I told you I’d teach you a few things to help you feel safer, so here we go.”
“Ninja Emma,” she said and gave her best Karate Kid impression.
I giggled and then showed her how to knock someone out with one strike.
Chapter 27
I took Emma’s advice and concentrated on my goal over the next few weeks. September had finally arrived, and that meant the weather would cool off soon. It also meant that I’d somehow managed to make it through another month without coming unhinged.
Jared kept his word, and we continued to train and get to know each other as friends. I didn’t bring up Oregon again, and neither did he. I didn’t miss the affectionate looks from him, or the catch in his breath when our bodies touched while training. I’d ended up on top of him or underneath him more times than I could count. Sometimes I thought he chose the training moves based on how close we could be to each other without crossing that line.
I’d also started a group class. I stuck close to Tiffany the first few times, but then I trained with Kasey for a night. I giggled most of the class as he cracked jokes under his breath.
“Listen, you can hit me as hard as you want. Don’t hold back. But this—” he said as he knocked on his cup, “please, be kind to the real estate.”
My eyes widened and I burst into giggles. I’d never heard a guy refer to his dick as real estate.
“I give you my word that I won’t wreck your real estate on purpose,” I said as I held up my hand in a Scout’s honor.
“Awesome, then we’re best friends for life.”
Kasey had been training for five years, and he showed me techniques that Jared hadn’t yet. I knew Jared had talked to Kasey about my past, but Kasey never said a word about it. It was almost like there was an unspoken understanding between us that he would be there if I ever needed him. I hoped to God I’d never have to take him up on it.
After class finished, I ran to the bathroom and changed clothes. I returned to the dojo and had just said goodbye to Kasey when Jared walked over to me.
“Hey, you seem to be doing well with Kasey,” he said, smiling.
I wasn’t sure if there was a hint of jealousy there or if he was serious.
“He’s hilarious,” I said as I tossed my backpack over my shoulder. “I feel good working with him. I appreciate it.”
We held each other’s gaze for a moment, and his eyes softened. “You wanna grab something to eat?”
“I totally would, but it’s my birthday and Emma and I have plans tonight.”
“Shit, are you serious?”
“Yeah, I don’t like to announce it, but you probably saw it on the paperwork I filled out when you hired me,” I said and laughed.
“I didn’t even really pay attention to the month or day, just that you were over sixteen and could work,” he said. “Happy birthday,” he said and gently squeezed my arm. My stomach fluttered with his touch.
“Thanks,” I said softly. “I need to go. See you tomorrow?”
“Have a good night,” he said.
I gave him a small wave as I left the dojo.
* * *
My stomach growled as I raced home. Emma and I usually ordered in since she was at the hospital so much; she liked to be home when she could be. I didn’t like crowds much, so it didn’t bother me. But tonight we were going out, and I couldn’t wait to get some sweet and sour chicken. Chinese food and pizza had become my favorite food groups.
I opened the door and froze. “What the hell?” I said as my backpack slipped from my hands.
“Happy birthday!”
My mouth dropped as tears pooled in my eyes.
“We didn’t want to yell happy birthday right as you came in. We were afraid we’d scare you,” Emma said as she hugged me.
“Oh my God,” I said as I ran to Garrett and hugged him.
“Joss!” I said as I wrapped my arms around her and the tears slid down my face.
“Happy birthday, Lacey,” she said.
I hugged Emma’s parents, who’d also shown up.
“Happy birthday, Lace,” Walker said as he kissed my cheek.
“Thank you,” I said as I glanced up at him.
�
�I have a surprise for you,” he whispered in my ear.
My face lit up. I loved birthday and Christmas surprises because they were always good. “What?” I asked, grinning.
“Turn around.”
I slowly turned around. My mouth dropped as I stood speechless.
“So this is what happens to you when I’m not around? Don’t stand there gawking with your mouth hanging open, Hillbilly,” George said.
I nearly knocked him over with my hug, and before I could stop it, I broke down and sobbed all over his shoulder.
“Girl, it’s okay. I’m here for the night. We can snuggle up like old times, and you can fill me in.”
“George, I’ve missed you so bad,” I whispered, still unwilling to let him go.
“You too. You too,” he said as he hugged me back.
My tears finally slowed, and I pulled away from him. “How? How are you here?” I asked, touching his cheeks.
“That hunk of a man right there,” he said and nodded toward Walker, who was talking with Emma and Garrett.
“What?”
“Mmmhmm, he paid for my ticket and asked Emma if I could stay. I fly back tomorrow, though. That’s the shitty part. But hey, let’s not waste a minute,” he said.
“Okay. Best birthday present ever,” I said as I hugged him again.
“Save some of that for Walker. Girl, you didn’t mention how hot he was. Are you . . . ?” He wiggled his eyebrows at me.
My cheeks reddened. “No, it’s too soon,” I said and scrunched my nose up at him.
He hung his head as he rubbed my arm. “It’s okay. Just keep him on reserve.”
“George!” I whispered. “Come on, I want you to meet Joss and Garrett,” I said as we took each other’s hand.
“Joss,” I said and hugged her again. “This is George. He’s from Oregon.”
“We’ve met already, but it’s nice to meet you again,” Joss said and laughed.
“Who organized all this?” I asked.
“Walker,” Joss said and held my gaze.
“Oh,” I said and frowned. “That was super sweet of him. I’m so happy to see everyone.”
“Happy birthday, old lady,” Garrett said and pulled my hair.
“Ouch!” I said and smacked him. He laughed as he hugged me.
“Emma said you’re working?” Joss asked.
“Ooh, really? Do tell,” George said.
“It’s up the street at the dojo. I’ve been taking karate there too,” I said.
“That’s great! You seem like you’re doing better than the last time I saw you,” Joss said.
“It started that night, actually. What you said to me in the parking lot . . . it stayed with me.”
Joss smiled. “Glad it did. Hang in there. Everything will be okay.”
“Thanks. I’ll catch up with you in a minute.”
I pulled George over to chat with Jim and Linda.
“George, these are Emma’s parents,” I said, smiling.
“Hi, honey. Happy birthday,” Linda said as she hugged me and kissed my cheek. “You’re looking better than when you came home.”
“Thank you. Your daughter keeps me fed. Oh shoot,” I said as I searched the kitchen. “Emma, did we get Chinese food?”
“I’m sorry, Lacey. We got pizza instead, but I promise we’ll go out for Chinese food sometime soon. I figured you’d want to spend time with everyone. Especially George,” she said as she winked at him. “But we do have pizza and cake.” She beamed.
We all followed Emma to the kitchen table, and someone gently squeezed my shoulder. I turned around and let go of George’s hand.
“I’ll catch up with you in a minute,” I said to George.
“Take your time,” he said as he eyed Walker.
I laughed. I wondered if Walker realized that George thought he was beyond gorgeous.
Walker took my hand and led me over to the patio door. “I just wanted to tell you happy birthday.”
“Thank you for flying George out, Walker. I can’t tell you what that means to me.”
“You don’t have to. I saw your expression when you saw him here. You haven’t let go of his hand this whole time,” he said, smiling.
“He’s the best birthday present I’ve ever had.”
“He has to leave tomorrow morning though, and I have to run some errands for work after I drop him off at the airport, so you won’t be able to go with us.”
“Oh,” I said as my face fell. “Dammit. Well okay, at least I know. I’ll just plan on not getting any sleep tonight then,” I said, smiling up at him.
Walker’s fingers trailed softly down my cheek.
“Do you remember the last party we were at together?” he asked, his voice husky.
I nodded, unable to find my voice. My stomach flipped as the memories of that night returned.
“It seems like a lifetime ago,” I whispered.
“I took you home that night and made love to you after you accepted my proposal,” he said, his eyes filling with need.
My breath caught and my chest ached. Moments like this threw me back to the days we were together, and every part of me wanted to run back into his arms. But things were different now. I took his hand and squeezed it. Then I stood on my tiptoes and kissed his cheek.
“I should get back to George,” I said. “I’m glad you’re here.” I took a step backward, and his blue eyes filled with sadness as I released his hand.
I wondered if he was going to give up on me. Was it too painful for him? Would he eventually come to the realization that he needed to move on, and that I might not ever be able to?
* * *
Everyone left around eleven. I hugged them all and thanked them for coming. I loved seeing everyone, but I was ready to have George to myself.
“Girl, you’ve lost weight. What the hell?” he asked as we lay on our sides facing each other in my bed.
“I’ve actually gained weight since I’ve come home. I was on a liquid diet for a while, until Emma told me to knock it off or get out.”
“What? She didn’t! After everything you’d gone through. No, that shit’s not okay,” he said.
“She wasn't mean. She had to leave for a week, and when she got home, I was passed out. Walker said I was probably close to alcohol poisoning. And at that point, I wanted to die.”
“Lacey, don’t say that,” he said as his eyes glistened.
“I couldn’t sleep, I was afraid to leave the apartment, and the only thing that helped was the rum,” I said and shrugged. “But I scared the shit out of her and Walker that night. Emma called him, and he put me in the shower. He stood in there with me the entire time. He said I drifted in and out of consciousness. Emma dressed me and then he put me to bed and stayed up watching over me all night.”
“Shit, that’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.”
“Really? You’re feeling romantic while I was on the brink of death?” I huffed.
I laughed while he rolled his eyes at me. I’d missed him so much.
“Don’t be mad at me, but I went to see him in prison,” he said.
I sat straight up in my bed.
“What the hell? George, are you serious? Why?”
“I had to see it for myself. I had to see him behind bars,” he replied. “I kept thinking he was going to be back on campus, and I couldn’t get past everything. You were there one minute and gone the next. And the quarterback who everyone thought was so amazing tried to kill you.” He paused as his eyes widened. “I just needed to see the bastard behind bars.”
“Did it help?”
“Yeah, once I saw it with my own eyes. Once I saw him there, I was able to start dealing with everything. And girl, orange does not look good on him.”
I couldn’t hide my smile. George would notice something like that. “How are the girls?”
“Adalyn and I are roomies. We’re off campus now, and we love it. You know there’s no one better to party with,” he said and grinned. “And Cas
sidy found herself a man, so she’s living with him. We don’t see her much anymore.”
“I miss everyone.”
“Adalyn said to tell you hi, and to get your ass out there to visit soon.”
“Maybe. I miss Oregon, and now that you’ve been to the South, you know why.”
“Shit, I almost melted on the sidewalk of the airport,” George said and fanned himself. “How do you do anything with your hair? It’s so humid.”
“I know, I hate it,” I said, wrinkling my nose.
“Do you want to come back? You could stay with Adalyn and me. She’d love that too.”
“She was so good to me when I told her about Xander. That girl is a wicked mastermind.”
“Right?” George asked. “She’s super smart and fun. Get a few drinks in her and you’ve got your entertainment for the rest of the night.”
I laughed. “I do want to come back, but I don’t know how or when.”
“I get it, but just know you have two roomies waiting for you.”
“Thanks,” I said and reached for his hand.
“I miss this,” he said. “Staying up all night talking.”
“Me too.”
“So, tell me about this karate class. Walker actually mentioned it. He said you tested for a belt last month.”
“I did. It’s just my first one, but I’m taking a class, and I have one-on-one training with Jared.”
“Oh, I heard that name too.”
“What do you mean?” I asked as I frowned at him.
“It was more about how his name was said.”
“Walker?” I asked.
“Mmhmmm. Walker wasn’t saying anything bad, just that Jared was training you and helping you with your test. It was more the tone of his voice.”
“Yeah, from what Emma said, there was a pissing match going on during my test.”
“Over?”
“Me,” I said and sighed as I rolled over on my back.
“Well, anyone with eyes in their head can see that Walker is in love with you. And I don’t mean he loves you, I mean he is in love with you. Big difference.”
“Jared and I have gotten closer too,” I whispered.
“What? Girl, what the hell. I can’t leave you alone for a second without you stirring up shit.” He laughed.