Blue Skies

by Fleur McDonald

  ‘Amanda, are you all right?’ He looked anxious.

  ‘I just need to check Amanda out, mate, so if you wouldn’t mind standing back.’

  ‘Of course, sorry. Sorry.’

  ‘Where’s Dad, Mr . . . Adrian? Why isn’t he here? I saw him.’ Her memory flooded back. She could hear his words . . . Love . . . I’m sorry . . . Bastard . . . ‘I saw him on the river’s edge, Adrian.’ Panic filled her voice. ‘He was right there. I saw him. When I looked back he was gone. Where is he?’

  Adrian stared at her. ‘What do you mean you saw him on the river’s edge, Amanda?’ he asked.

  ‘I saw him standing there. Or at least I think I did. One second he was there and the next he was gone. I can remember he was talking to me . . .’ She broke off as Adrian touched her shoulder.

  ‘I’ll be back in a minute.’ He walked away, pulling a two-way radio from his belt as he went.

  ‘Now, Amanda,’ Jeff said, ‘I need to get you into the back of the van where there’s some light. I’d really like to have a good look at that head wound.’ Jeff gently helped her to her feet, but Amanda pulled away. ‘Not yet, I need to show Adrian where Dad was,’ she said stumbling as she tried to walk towards the river.

  ‘Amanda, you need to come with me,’ said Jeff, his voice insistent. Grasping her arm firmly, he led her towards the ambulance. She staggered forward, looking over her shoulder, desperate for a glimpse of her father.

  ‘We’ll have to look for him, Matthew,’ Adrian was saying to the SES leader as they passed. ‘If she saw him standing near the edge, who’s to say he didn’t fall in?’

  ‘Tell me you’ve found him,’ Amanda begged when Adrian joined her by the ambulance a little while later. Her head had been bandaged and she was feeling much better since the painkillers kicked in.

  Adrian looked grim. ‘Not yet, Mandy,’ he answered gently. ‘But we’re looking.’ He sat beside her, the rain falling from his wide-brimmed hat onto his coat. It made a dripping noise that Amanda found comforting. Familiar.

  ‘I’d like to get Amanda to hospital now,’ Jeff said.

  ‘I’m not going,’ Amanda said firmly. ‘I want to stay until they find Dad.’ She turned to Adrian for support.

  ‘Wouldn’t it be a good idea to be looked over by the doctors, Mandy?’

  ‘No, I’m not going.’ She pulled the blanket tighter around her shoulders and looked at Jeff stubbornly, daring him to drag her into the ambulance.

  ‘Well I can’t force you to go. I recommend that you do. You really should be checked for concussion and hypothermia.’

  Amanda just shook her head while Adrian smiled knowingly. ‘You won’t win with this one, Jeff. You may as well be on your way. I’ll look after her. C’mon then, Miss Independent, let’s get you back to the house and warmed up. I’ll stay with you until we hear some news.’

  Not wanting to leave the river’s edge, Amanda resisted at first, but after much coaxing she finally climbed into Adrian’s ute. Mingus jumped onto her lap and she put her arms around the dog.

  ‘Why hasn’t he been found yet?’ asked Amanda.

  ‘There’re lots of nooks and crannies to look in and it’s harder in the dark. They’re looking in the river now, Mandy. It looks like there were scuff marks right on the river’s edge. He could’ve fallen in.’ Adrian brought the car to a stop. It was quiet except for the rain gently hitting the roof of the car. He turned to face her and gently brushed her hair back from her face. ‘You need to be prepared for the possibility that they might not find him, Mandy. Not alive.’

  Chapter 15

  Winter 1935

  Michael reread his mother’s letter with growing horror. Grace? On her way to Esperance? How was that possible?

  ‘The growing threats towards her are unacceptable. You of all people would understand the unease and fear that she is experiencing. I am entrusting her to you. A marriage would be pleasing to your father and I, and would ensure the continuance of your annual allowance.Your loving mother, Elizabeth.’

  What about Kathleen? How would she receive this news? Michael ran his hands over his face. Oh, he loved Grace, there was no question of that; in fact, they had been betrothed before he left England. She was from a well-to-do family, similar to his own. They were from neighbouring farms in Suffolk and had attended weekly hunts with their families from a young age. However, in his haste to leave England, he hadn’t said goodbye to Grace and had just assumed he would never see her again. His life on Kyleena was a far cry from what she was used to. And Grace’s arrival would put an end to his dreams of a life with Kathleen – but oh, how he wanted her! Yet the simple truth was that he couldn’t do without the money that came to him every month. He put down the letter with a sigh, knowing that he didn’t really have a choice.

  Kathleen stared at Michael in shock, unable to believe what he had just told her. ‘Too busy developing Kyleena to see her anymore.’ After a few minutes, she nodded, her face pale, and said she understood. Then she turned and walked into the boarding house without a backward glance, her shaking hands hidden in her pockets.

  When she was sure he was gone, Kathleen ran from the house to sit weeping on the hill overlooking the Esperance bay. To be cast aside so easily after a year of courting was . . . well, there were not words to describe it.

  Through her tears she noticed a man walking towards her. Her heart leapt with anticipation, until she realised it was only Bernard Spenser. The miner had had some luck in the Kalgoorlie goldfields and had been flashing his find around in the boarding house for the last three weeks. Kathleen knew he was awaiting the arrival of his sister today and she would be pleased to see the back of him. She had often observed him watching her when he thought she wasn’t looking.

  Kathleen turned her back towards him, hoping he wouldn’t bother her. Alas, she felt his hand on her shoulder. Indignant, she looked around only to find his mouth upon hers and his hands groping at her breasts. Fiercely, she fought him, but her hands were pinned to her side. He pushed her backwards, to the ground, and threw himself on top of her, wrenching up her skirts.

  Afterwards, dazed and shaken, her dress torn, Kathleen ran back to the boarding house. A ship’s horn had distracted Bernard from his task and he had set off for the port, leaving her lying on the ground in the dust.

  As she washed her grazed hands and scrubbed at her face she vowed she would tell no one of the shame she had nearly experienced.

  Chapter 16

  2005

  As she brushed her teeth, Amanda stared at her hands in the mirror.The veins on the backs stood out and the skin was wrinkled and dry. Hannah had suggested a good manicure, but Amanda knew there wasn’t much point. Four years of hard work with more to come and her hands would remain the same.

  The back door slammed and Amanda could hear the pad of feet coming down the long corridor. She frowned and checked her watch.

  ‘Amanda? Mandy?’

  ‘In here,’ she called around the toothbrush, and gave her hands one last glance as she spat into the basin and rinsed her mouth. She turned as Hannah’s head popped around the door and grinned at her.

  ‘You’re going to be late for your own sale, if you’re not careful.’

  Amanda grinned back and ran a towel over her face. ‘I’m nearly ready.’ She stood back and held out her arms. ‘How do I look?’

  Hannah ran her eyes over her friend and nodded her approval. ‘Every bit the stud breeder.’

  Amanda tugged at the unfamiliar green shirt that she’d tucked into a new pair of moleskins. Her new boots felt tight and she wished she could’ve found a cow pad or some sloppy green sheep manure to take the shine away – a christening of sorts! But, then, she supposed there would be plenty of manure around today.

  Hannah had insisted that she buy some new clothes for the sale. Her grubby old jeans and torn shirt wouldn’t cut it, apparently. Amanda argued that she hadn’t pulled Kyleena out of debt by spending money on frivolous things like clothes. She had plenty of pai
rs of jeans in the wardrobe that would do. But Hannah had prevailed.

  ‘Jonno’s bringing the ute up from the shed,’ Hannah said now. ‘You and I can go in that and he’ll bring your dad’s – um, the other ute with the sheep crate on the back, in case there’s any rams you don’t sell that you need to bring home. Adrian’s meeting us in there. Er, can you remind me again what you see in him?’

  Amanda shot her friend a warning glance then, ignoring the tongue that Hannah poked out, smiled. ‘Sounds good. I’ll just grab a few things and be there in a tick.’ As her friend hurried back down the hallway, Amanda blew out a long breath. Once again, she stared in the mirror.

  She was a very different girl to the one she’d been four years ago, when her father died, leaving her an orphan. Alone in the world. She had a mother who was a distant memory, a father who’d drowned, and no brothers or sisters. She did have an aunt and uncle in town – her father’s sister and her husband – but even they didn’t come to visit much anymore. Amanda knew it was her own fault. She’d all but ignored the outside world, being focused on one thing – saving Kyleena. It was really all she had left. Except for Adrian.

  He had been her constant companion in the weeks following her father’s disappearance. The SES and police had combed the river’s edge from Kyleena down to the sea, but to no avail.They’d sent divers into the deepest parts of the river, they’d paddled through the rock pools and they’d sifted through the tonnes of sand that had been shifted by the torrents of water, but they had never found Brian’s body. It was presumed he’d been swept out to sea. Reluctantly, three weeks after the rains had begun, she’d organised a memorial service then shut the door on her emotions and set about saving Kyleena.

  It had been Adrian’s idea that, using the insurance money she’d received from the death of her sheep, she invest in some higher valued stock. Studs would be a great supplement to her commercial flock. And it eliminated the expense of having to buy in rams. The way that he’d explained it, the stud industry seemed to be full of potential, but the more she’d researched it, the more she realised that she had a lot to learn.

  The White Suffolk ewes and rams she bought on Adrian’s advice had produced sturdy, long and lean ram lambs that would in turn produce beautiful prime lambs for market in the following year. Then she’d branched out and tried an artificial-breeding program, which had been hugely successful.

  Her thirst for knowledge had sent her to South Australia, the home of the Whites, and she’d spent hours talking to the founders of the breed and the White Suffolk association, learning as much as she could.

  ‘It’s all about being able to see under the sheep’s clothes,’ one old man had said to her. ‘Take off the fleece, take off the pelt and look at the meat underneath. See the size of the eye muscle and legs.’

  Today, she was selling the spoils of that venture.

  She sighed and tried to suppress the nerves she felt. Adrian hadn’t been overly supportive of the sale, which had surprised her. After all, the stud business had been his idea, and sales were part of that. But she knew her rams were good . . . the question was, would anyone else think so?

  Amanda pulled at her shirt again as she walked through the big iron doors of the ram pavilion. She stopped for a moment to let her eyes adjust to the gloom. Closing them briefly, she listened to the sounds. A ram sneezed and a chain clanked against the steel rail of the pen. A sheep shifted his position and she smiled as she heard the familiar sound of poo, in round pellets dropping onto the hay. She breathed deeply, loving the smell that wafted up from the floor. The hay, the urine and the dung combined to create the smell that meant sale days. Then she heard footsteps and opened her eyes.

  Adrian was standing in front of her. He was smiling, but his face seemed grim.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ Amanda asked, anxiety fluttering in her stomach.

  Adrian raised his eyebrows quizzically. ‘Nothing, why?’

  ‘You look upset.’

  ‘No, everything seems to be in order here. Although I do wish you’d decided to have a private selection day instead of this sale. It seems silly to rush straight into a sale, the first year you have rams to sell. A slowly, slowly approach would have been better!’

  Amanda nodded. ‘I know you do, but I was advised by Graham that this was the best option. I’m sorry you don’t agree.’

  Adrian put an arm around her shoulders. ‘I really hope you don’t see all your hard work go unappreciated today, that’s all. Ah, here’s Graham now.’ He took his arm from Amanda’s shoulders and held out his hand. ‘Graham, how are you? I hope you’re expecting a good turnout and that you’ve got all the rams sold before we start today.’ Adrian moved forward towards the stock agent, blocking Amanda.

  Rolling her eyes, she moved around him to hold out her own hand to Graham, but not before she saw Hannah’s face darken with anger. Behind Hannah, she saw, was Jonno. Her stomach fluttered with butterflies as she looked at him. He looked so good, so . . . earthy in his faded blue jeans, casual rugby jumper and dusty battered Rossi boots. Adrian, by contrast, looked like he’d stepped out of a magazine modelling country clothing with his coat, tie and polished R.M.’s. Jonno winked when he saw her watching him and gave her the thumbs-up and a huge grin. He had no idea that for years she had harboured a secret longing for him.

  ‘Graham,’ she said, as she tore her gaze away from Jonno. ‘The rams look like they’ve lined up well. Are you happy with them?’ Adrian looked put out at being sidelined as the auctioneer turned his attention to Amanda.

  ‘Very impressive, Amanda – you’ve done a great job in getting them to sale condition. I just need to have a chat with you about reserve prices, delivery and so forth. Have you got time now?’

  ‘Yep, no problem.’

  ‘Okay then, why don’t we go sit in my car and discuss it.’

  ‘Mandy, don’t you think I should come along too? You might need help,’ Adrian interrupted.

  She placed a hand on his arm. ‘I’ll be fine, Ade. I know what I want.’ She followed Graham to his white four-wheel drive.

  As people began to arrive Amanda felt a surge of excitement. Hannah growled at her to stop fiddling with her shirt and then gave her a big hug. ‘You’ve done brilliantly!’

  ‘Yeah, Mandy-Mands.’ Jonno wrapped his arms around her. ‘I reckon you should be real proud of what you’ve achieved in the past few years. You’ve been to hell and back, and flicked the devil the bird. Good on you.’

  Amanda breathed in Jonno’s aftershave and allowed herself to relish being in his arms for a few seconds before she quickly stepped away. ‘Well, you two got me on the straight and narrow after it all . . .’ Suddenly there was a collective gasp as a ram jumped from its pen and hung over the rail with its leg caught in between the bars.

  Potential buyers rushed to help but Adrian was already there. He held the ram’s upper body firmly to ease the pressure on the leg, while Amanda pushed her way through to try and release the leg from the rails. But to her dismay, as soon as she touched the leg there was the unmistakable sound of a bone snapping. One broken leg and one less ram to sell.

  Chapter 17

  ‘Sale-o, sale-o,’ called Graham. He was standing on the walk rails above the ram pens. Everyone could see him, hear him and watch him. Amanda knew that was the way he liked it and how good he was at his job.

  She held her breath. Now was the telling time. Devastated that she’d lost one ram, which was now in the back of her ute, she hoped that there wouldn’t be any more problems. Graham listed the conditions of auction and then clapped his hands together to signal the beginning of the sale.

  ‘What am I bid, what am I bid, let’s start at two thousand, two thousand now, eighteen hundred, eighteen . . . YES! Eighteen, I’ve got eighteen on my right. Gimme two thou, two thousand! Yes!’

  Hannah squeezed Amanda’s hand in excitement.

  As Amanda, Hannah and Jonno picked up the empty soft-drink cans from around the ram pavilion, they chatte
d excitedly.

  ‘One hundred per cent clearance, Mandy! Do you know how good that is for any sale, let alone a first one?’ Jonno asked. As a rural reporter, Jonno went to many sales and had sound knowledge of the industry. ‘And the average price was great!’

  ‘Drinks are on me tonight!’Amanda said rashly while the other two cheered.

  Adrian popped his head in the door but didn’t enter. ‘How are you all going?’

  ‘We’re fine,’ Amanda said as she straightened up. ‘We’ve just got to rake the hay up and finish picking up all the rubbish and we’re outta here! Straight to the pub for one off the wood.’

  Adrian frowned. ‘I thought we’d organised the stockies to clean up.’

  ‘It’s not their job, Ade – and besides, they’ve worked really hard all day. The twins and I are happy to do it. We can rehash the day!’

  ‘I wish you’d stop calling us “the twins”,’ Hannah muttered.‘It makes us sound like we’re three.’

  ‘Well sometimes the way you behave, you are!’ Amanda joked.

  ‘Like about now,’ said Jonno, as he snuck up behind her and threw an armful of soiled hay over her head and then tackled her to the ground. Hannah let out a bloodcurdling yell and fell on top of them.

  ‘Um, excuse me, Amanda? Amanda?’ Adrian raised his voice over the cacophony of noise that the three were making. ‘AMANDA!’

  The wrestling stopped and Amanda rose from under the hay, her face red. ‘Yep?’ she walked towards Adrian.

  ‘Where do you think we might be eating tonight?’

  ‘I think we should go to the pub. What do you reckon?’

  Adrian wrinkled his nose. ‘What about Seas?’ he suggested, referring to a smart restaurant that looked out over the Esperance bay.

  ‘Oh, I don’t think they’ll let you in there smelling of sheep shit!’ Amanda launched herself at him and tackled him to the ground. Adrian fought back, pinning Amanda’s arms to her side and rolling her in a sloppy pile of dung. Amanda was laughing so hard that she couldn’t stand. The others joined her on the ground, laughing till they were spent.