Damaged Goods: The Redemption Series

by L. Wilder

  “I’m glad she’s coming. I’d like to meet her if that’s okay.”

  “Yeah, that’d be good. She’s coming up from Seattle and planning to stay with me for a few days. I’m sure she’d like a distraction.”

  “Good. I look forward to it.” The more he spoke, the heavier his eyelids became. He was trying to put on a show for us, but it was clear that he had a long recovery ahead of him. “I’m going to head down to the cafeteria to get a cup of coffee. Can I get you anything?”

  “A cheeseburger would be good.”

  “I’ll see what they have.” I turned to Nathan and motioned him towards the door. “Why don’t we let him rest a bit and grab him something to eat?”

  “Sounds good. I’ll meet you in the hall. I need a minute with him.”

  I nodded and stepped out of the room. It was several minutes before Nathan came out, and something about the look on his face told me he needed a minute before I spoke. We walked in silence to the cafeteria, and it wasn’t until we got there that he said anything. “You really think getting him a burger is the best thing for him?”

  “No. Definitely not. Maybe we can find some soup or something.”

  “Yeah, but he isn’t gonna like it.”

  “I’m sure it will be better than what they have planned for him.”

  Smiling, I walked over to the counter and ordered Max’s chicken noodle soup and two cups of coffee. Once it was ready, we took it upstairs and visited with him for a few more minutes. His sister was coming soon, and we both knew he needed to get some rest before she arrived, so as soon as he finished his soup, we left.

  Once we left Max, we decided to go grab dinner. Overall, it had been a good day, and it rolled into a good night. As soon as we got home, Nathan took my hand and led me into my bedroom. “Why are we coming in here?”

  “It turns out I kind of like your bed.”

  “You do, huh?”

  “It smells like you.”

  “If I sleep in your bed, it will smell like me, too.”

  “It’s not the same,” he told me as he pulled me close and started to nibble on the curve of my neck.

  “Your bed is bigger.”

  “Your bed is softer.” He reached for the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head. “Just like you.”

  His hands slipped around my back as he unhooked my bra and let it fall to the floor. He leaned over me, covering my mouth with a hungry kiss, and everything around me seemed to slip away. The caress of his lips was magic, making me feel like I was floating on air. The tips of his fingers trailed along my spine, and I arched towards him, seeking the heat of his touch. As he continued to kiss me, I could feel a fire burning deep inside me, smoldering as it spread through my body. A rush of heat unfurled in my belly as he released my mouth and looked down at me. He stood there silently staring at me, appraising me. Everything about him seduced my senses. His touch. His smell. The way he looked at me. I’d never wanted anything like I wanted him. The way his eyes filled with lust and love when he looked at me only increased my need for him.

  I reached for his shirt, unbuttoning it slowly, and I felt the muscles of his chest quiver as my fingertips brushed along his skin. As I slipped it off his shoulders, I looked up at him and whispered, “You don’t have to say the words… I feel it when you touch me… and when you look at me.”

  His lips brushed against mine, but not gently like before. Instead, it was hot, passionate, and demanding. I gasped as he lifted me up, cradling me close to his chest as he carried me over to the bed. He held me tightly, making me feel safe in his arms. Seconds later, I was on my back with his rough, impatient hands roaming all over my body. His need was building with each kiss and each touch, and he was losing all sense of control. My breath caught as his hands slid down to my waist, and he unfastened my jeans before slowly lowering them down my hips. He trailed his hand along between my thigh and center as he moved his mouth to my breast, circling my nipple with his tongue. His other hand slid under my back, pulling me closer to his mouth as I moaned with pleasure. His every touch added fuel to the fire burning inside me.

  Impatient for more, I reached for his belt, letting him know that I was just as eager as he was. I unbuckled it and set to greedily unzipping his pants before starting to tug them down. A devious smirk crossed his face as he slowly stood up, dropping his pants to the floor. He knew the effect he had on me, and as my eyes moved to his growing erection inside his boxer briefs, I couldn’t help but lick my lips. His blue eyes darkened as he slowly, tantalizingly freed himself from them before kicking them to the side. He stood naked before me, letting my heated gaze wash over him as he took his thick length in his hand. Desire pooled inside me as I watched with rapt attention and started to squirm impatiently. Heat rushed through me as my eyes roamed over his perfectly defined abs and pronounced V. He was beautiful, and he was mine. As I watched him, I cupped my breasts in my palms before trailing one of my hands down my stomach and between my legs. I touched myself for a moment, circling my clit with my fingertip, emboldened by his lust-filled eyes following my every movement. As a little moan escaped my body, his lips parted, and he whispered, “Fuck.”

  When I couldn’t wait a moment longer, I looked up at him and pleaded, “Show me how much you want me. Please, Nathan.”

  A deep growl vibrated through his chest as he lowered himself onto the bed and settled between my legs. He brushed against my center, teasing me relentlessly before he finally thrust deep inside me. My head fell back as I gasped for air, my fingernails digging into his back, and my entire body gripped with heat.

  He moved slowly, meticulously at first, but then his pace quickened, becoming more demanding and intense with each roll of his hips. The muscles inside me began to tighten as my legs drew up beside him. My hands curled around his ass as I held on to him, bracing myself for the wave of pleasure that I could feel growing inside me. His steady rhythm never faltered, until we both reached our climax. He lowered himself on top of me with the heat of his breath at my neck, and he didn’t move. He just lay there, holding me close. I loved the feeling of his body on mine. When I was in his arms, I could pretend that he’d given me the one thing I truly wanted, but deep down, I knew the truth. I didn’t have his heart, not the way that I’d always wanted. And I was beginning to worry that I never would.

  I felt it right along with her—every spark, every flicker. It was impossible to ignore. I’d tried to fight it, to pretend it wasn’t happening, but I couldn’t deny that she was getting to me. As much as I wanted to be in the moment with her and give her all I had to give, I could feel a part of me holding back. I let myself fall asleep in her arms, but the next morning, I got up out of the bed long before she ever woke up. I left her a note saying I had to go into the office, which wasn’t exactly a lie. I needed to touch base with Ryder and make sure everything with Calhoun had been handled. Before I called him, I decided to drive over and see Mom. It was early when I got there, and I had worried I might wake her, but she was already in the kitchen making coffee and toast.

  “Well, hi there, stranger.” She walked over to me and gave me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. “I was beginning to think you’d forgotten about me.”

  “Now, you know that could never happen.”

  “Well, you haven’t called, and I haven’t seen hide nor hair of you since the night you brought Tristen by.” I sat down at the table while she got us both some toast. “I’ve seen lots of Murray… way too much of Murray. I think something’s going on with him.”

  “I was out of town and asked him to keep an eye on you until I got back.”

  “It would’ve been nice to know what was going on. He had me worried that something had happened.”

  “Everything is fine.” I considered telling her about Lenny and Joey, but I decided against it. I knew how she felt. She’d made that clear years ago when Murray and I were trying to find them. She wanted us to leave it alone, that enough loss had occurred, but I didn’t feel the same.
Trying to reassure her, I continued, “It’s just been a busy week.”

  “I really liked Tristen. I think there’s something special about her.”

  “She liked you, too.”

  “I think this girl is the one,” she pushed.

  I shook my head and said, “Don’t start, Mom.”

  “I saw the way you looked at her.”

  “Mother.”

  Ignoring me, she stood up and walked out of the kitchen. A few minutes later, she came back with a photograph in her hand. She looked down at me and said, “I’ve been thinking about something since that night…. I want you to look at this.”

  I took the picture in my hand and was surprised to see it was an old photograph of Lainey and I standing outside our old house. “Why are you showing me this now?”

  “Because I want you to look at it… really look at it.” I looked down at Lainey for a moment, then dropped the picture down on the table. She quickly picked it back up and held it in front of me. “No, I don’t want you to just look at her… I want you to look at yourself, Nathan. Look at the man in that picture… see the smile on his face… the love in his eyes when he looks at that girl.”

  “I don’t see what your point is in all this.”

  “You were happy, really happy.” Tears filled her eyes as she placed her hand on my shoulder.

  “They were everything to me.”

  “I know that, and I’m not asking you to close the book on what you had with Lainey. I’m just asking you to not be afraid to turn the page. Lainey would want you to move on, so stop letting fear keep you from finding happiness.”

  “I’ve never considered myself a fearful person, Mom.” I ran my hands through my hair with frustration. “You don’t do the things I do when you’re afraid.”

  “You’re wrong. You’re the most controlling person I know. You feel like you have to micromanage every aspect of your life because you’re afraid something bad will happen if you don’t.” With the picture of Lainey and me still in her hand, she sat down next to me. “No one could blame you for feeling that way, but this is no way to live.”

  “What am I supposed to do?”

  “You have to open your heart to Tristen and let her love you.”

  “It’s not that easy.”

  “But it is. I’m not asking you to do the impossible.” She placed her hand on my arm and gave me a light squeeze. “You just have to be brave enough to love her back. Don’t be afraid to be happy.”

  I looked down at the picture and took note of the goofy grin on my face. She was right. I was happy back then. I felt love without limits, gave it without second thoughts, and lived, truly lived. I took the picture and put it in my back pocket, gave Mom a hug, and headed out to my car. When I left there, I just started driving with no real destination in mind. I drove out to the Cape where I had taken Tristen a few weeks back. When I thought back to that day, how beautiful she looked and how good I felt with her, it was hard not to smile. She had a way of making everything better. I pulled off the trail and headed out to the restaurant where we’d eaten lunch. I’d just pulled into the parking lot, when I got a text message from Ryder.

  Ryder:

  Found the log.

  Me:

  Good

  Ryder:

  Darla helped find Calhoun.

  Me:

  And?

  Ryder:

  Just made the delivery.

  Me:

  Well done. You headed to your sister’s?

  Ryder:

  Got myself an invite to dinner- gonna see where that goes first.

  Me:

  Darla?

  Ryder:

  The one and only. I’ll be back tomorrow.

  Me:

  Watch yourself with that one.

  Ryder:

  Always.

  I wasn’t surprised that he was making a play for Darla. He and I both knew it wouldn’t go anywhere, but he was young and just didn’t give a shit. After I put my phone in my pocket, I went into the Seafood Shack and sat down at one of the corner booths. It wasn’t long before Dottie came over and took my order. Once she brought my food, I ate a few bites and decided I was too preoccupied to eat. I tossed a couple of twenties on the table and waved to Dottie on my way out the door. With my mind on everything my mother had said, I got back in my car, and an hour later, I found myself parked at the curb of the cemetery. I sat there staring for several minutes before I finally forced my hand to move towards the door and open it.

  I walked over and knelt at Lainey’s headstone, placing the palm of my hand on her name. “It’s me… I know it’s been a while since I came to see you. It doesn’t mean you haven’t been on my mind, because you have…. I think about you and Lila Grace every day.” Trailing the lines of her name with the tip of my finger, I continued. “I got them, Lainey. It took a long time, but I kept my word, and I got them.” I let out a deep sigh as I stood up and looked around the cemetery. “It’s finally over.”

  I told her about Colton and his upcoming marriage. I rattled on for several minutes, but I still hadn’t said what I needed to say. I took a minute to collect my thoughts, then continued, “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and I want to thank you, Lainey. You taught me how to love…. You showed me just how good life can be. I haven’t let myself have that for a long time. I’ve been too afraid to take a chance. It damn near killed me when I lost you and Lila Grace. I loved you both so much. I still do. I didn’t think I had it in me to love like that again, and I was scared to take another hit. I was scared to lose it again. But I’ve met someone. She’s really something, Lainey. You’d like her. She is tough, and like you, she doesn’t let me get away with any shit. She’s smart, beautiful, and she makes me want to be better.”

  I ran my hands down my face as I tried to swallow the emotions that were creeping up my throat. “I know there’s no guarantees… I don’t have a way to look into the future, but something in my gut tells me she’s worth the risk. I love you, Lainey. But I have to let you go, so I can love her the way she deserves.”

  With that, I turned and went back to my car. I drove over to the office to check in with Murray, and told him about my concerns about Calhoun. I wanted to believe that the score would be settled and there wouldn’t be any repercussions to us taking out Joey, but there was no way to tell for sure. Even though he didn’t think we had anything to worry about, he assured me that he’d have the guys keep an eye on things. Once he’d gone for the day, I closed out a few accounts, and then headed back to the condo. By the time I got there, it was well after dark, and when I went to look for Tristen, I found her soaking in a hot bath. She was covered from head to toe in bubbles and reminded me of a kid when she looked up at me and smiled. As she motioned me over towards the tub, she called out, “Hey there, handsome. Come on over and join me.”

  I didn’t miss the spark of desire that flashed through her eyes as I started to remove my clothes. Like a predator waiting to pounce on its prey, she watched each piece of clothing drop to the floor. My girl had a craving for my cock, and I was more than willing to satisfy her hunger. She shifted forward, giving me room to ease in behind her, and once I was settled, she leaned her back against my chest. “You left early this morning.”

  I kissed her on the shoulder as I reached for her sponge and started washing her back. “Sorry about that. I had some things to tend to.”

  “Have you heard from Ryder?”

  “He’s fine.”

  “Did everything go okay with him and Darla?”

  “You could say that.” I snickered. “He’s having dinner with Darla tonight.”

  “Really? I thought Lenny was her boyfriend or something.”

  “He was.”

  “Then, what is she doing hooking up with Ryder? Shouldn’t there be some kind of mourning period after something like this?”

  I chuckled under my breath. “Maybe she needs a shoulder to cry on.”

  “Maybe so.” She sighed. “I’m sure
Ryder can take care of himself.”

  “I’m sure he can.”

  “So, you think everything is going to be okay with that man you were talking to him about?”

  “Calhoun?” She nodded as I poured more soap onto the palm of my hand and ran it down her shoulders and arms. “No way to be sure, but I figure he’ll think we did him a favor.”

  She fell silent as I started to wash along her collarbone and neck, then down to her breast. Her head tilted back as my thumb brushed against her nipple, caressing it softly as I nipped and sucked along her neck under her ear. A little whimper escaped her throat as my hand trailed down her abdomen and slid between her legs. Her hips rolled forward as my fingers trailed across her clit. I loved how her body responded to my touch. Hearing her little moans and sighs only made me want her even more. Her ass slid against my growing erection, and I groaned in response. I slid my fingertips inside her and had just begun to stroke her when she moaned, “Oh god, Nathan….” Hearing my name on her lips drove me wild, and I knew I couldn’t wait any longer to have her. Before she could protest, I withdrew my fingers and moved my hands to her hips, lifting her against me. Her legs spread wide as I centered her over my cock. Her back arched against me as she took one of my hands in hers and placed it over her breast. She took my other hand and held it steady on her hip as she slowly lowered herself onto me. A moan vibrated through her as she leaned her neck back against my shoulder and began to grind her hips into mine. With one hand, I took her slick breast in my palm, gently sliding my fingertips around her nipple, teasing her with each squeeze. With my other, I held on to her hip as I began thrusting in tandem with hers. Her hands gripped the sides of the tub as she began to pant and rock faster, enjoying the onslaught of sensations I was giving her. As she pushed against me, my palm slid from her hip down to her clit, slipping easily over her skin.