Faith Hope and Love (A Homespun Romance)

by Kakade, Geeta

  "Thank you." She couldn't protest what it had cost him. Mojo wasn't giving her a gift. He was giving her a bit of himself.

  Rachel turned away as the tears poured down her face. By leaving, she was robbing Mojo of a friend he needed badly. Those who knew loneliness returned to it when things went wrong.

  "Do you remember the first day, when you talked to me?" The measured tones held no emotion.

  "Yes." Rachel swiped at her tears with the back of her hand. If talking about it helped him, she wouldn't grudge Mojo the raw ache of relived memories.

  "You said I was a coward."

  "Only to make you go to the doctor."

  "You're the real coward, aren't you?"

  Turning Rachel faced him, "What do you mean?" She had told him she had to go back. How much more had he guessed?

  "I was scared the medicine would kill me," his eyes held sadness more than anger. And the truth. "You're scared of trusting your feelings."

  He was gone before she could ask him when he had gotten a degree in psychology.

  Everything faded before truth. Excuses, explanations, justifications. Sitting down on the log seat Rachel picked up a pine needle and twirled it.

  She thought back to the first day in court, the great tension that had been part of her. When Luke had brought her here she had been a bundle of nerves incapable of functioning on a personal level. She had come a long way since that day.

  Her insecurities had been bandaged in acceptance, her self-esteem raised sky high. Love had eased her pain, cleared the mists of confusion that surrounded her past. She had been given time to think, time to search herself for the truth about the past.

  Bit by bit, she had remembered scenes with her mother in the last week. They had floated to her out of the dim, distant past, free to reach her now that the barrier erected by her childish trauma was no more. Laughing with her, listening to the sound of the ocean in a sea shell, having her hair brushed, being tucked into bed with a goodnight kiss. One fact had emerged crystal clear. Her mother had loved her. Whatever had driven her away had nothing to do with that love. Rachel knew she would never again torture herself with the thought that she had caused her parent's break up.

  Luke had given her that.

  Looking back now, she couldn't remember a time when she hadn't loved Luke, but the day of the picnic when he had kissed her awake, she had been sure. Her capacity for loving had never been in any doubt.

  Luke had told her she would have to stop running one day. Mojo's words had stopped her long enough to take one long look at the truth. She wanted to face it now, here, relive every incident and then bury it all here in the spot where she was sure a part of her would always remain.

  She had hope. Deep inside her Rachel knew she had never been short of that precious commodity. Till her father died she had hoped for some sign that he cared for her. It had been hope that had made her take Luke to court. The hope that she would have someone of her own to love. Someone who would love her back.

  Love had come to her unexpectedly, not only from the child, but from the man as well. And she had refused it.

  Rachel wondered if emotional cowardice wasn't the worst kind there was. Luke's words spun in her head like clay on a potter's wheel. Answers from her heart shaped the clay.

  Stop running and face your fears.

  She had always said she didn't want to hurt Luke and Gordie but that wasn't true. What she really wanted was to protect herself from being hurt.

  When the time comes I hope you'll deal yourself a good hand.

  She had chosen not to play at all. Opting for the easiest way out she had convinced herself love and hope just weren't enough. Commitment took courage.

  Life doesn't come with any guarantees...all it gives us is opportunities.

  She had to believe she would use those opportunities in the right way.

  The wheel stopped spinning. She was left with one simple beautiful fact.

  What she really needed, now, was faith. In herself, in Luke, in their love. Faith that she and Luke would do their best to make their marriage work...faith that it would.

  It was all anyone ever had.

  "Faith." Rachel savored the word even as she thought about it.

  It was the last vital ingredient her recipe for happiness had lacked. Until now.

  "Hannah." Both women turned startled faces to her as she whirled into the kitchen, her hair threaded with a pine needle, her eyes over large in her flushed face.

  "Is something wrong?" Hannah wasn't really alarmed. Rachel's face was glowing as if lit from within. Hannah had no problem identifying love when she saw it.

  "Are you alright?" Theresa's brow was knitted in worry.

  "Nothing's wrong," Rachel thrust their concern aside, her expression allaying any doubts. "Nothing bad's happened. I must talk to Luke right away. Where's the number he left with you?"

  "By the telephone in his study but he might not..." Hannah's voice trailed away as Rachel flew into the study and shut the door.

  Gordie looked at the study door and then at Hannah. For the first time since the day she had picked him up, he had been bypassed without a hug or a kiss. He wasn't sure what to make of it. "Nana, Mama gone?" he inquired, looking at the study door.

  Hannah stared at him, speechless. Talk about winning the Triple Crown. Her gaze collided with Theresa's. Her own shock was reflected there. Three words and strung together so well. And he had called her Nana! She couldn't have thought up a sweeter title, herself. That wasn't all. From the look on Rachel's face all would soon be well between her and Luke.

  Picking up Gordie, she hugged him. Over his head she exchanged a beaming, teary smile with Theresa. Happiness was winging its way back into all their lives at last.

  "No," she informed the youngest Summer, "I don't think your new mama is going anywhere."

  Raising her eyes upwards she said reproachfully, "But that was a mighty close call. You might remember I'm getting too old for cliffhangers."

  Rachel ran her fingers through her hair as she heard the telephone ring at the other end, looking surprised at the pine needle between her fingers.

  Five. Six times. She shifted uneasily. He wasn't there.

  Luke picked it up on the ninth ring.

  "Yes?"

  He didn't sound too encouraging. Rachel drew a deep breath and then plunged into her speech.

  "Luke it's me...Rachel. Please don't say a word till I finish talking. Luke it's hit me all of a sudden. I can't leave you or Gordie. I love you. Deep down inside I know I've always felt that some day, somewhere, I would meet a man who would change my life with his love. There was always hope and then you offered me your love. I've loved you right from the moment I opened my eyes in the guest room and you were there. All I needed was faith. Faith in myself. Faith that our marriage will work because we both intend to do our best to ensure it does. I have that now." The utter silence from the other end alarmed her. "Luke?" Maybe she had the wrong number. Maybe Luke didn't want her after all. "Luke, are you there?"

  "I'm here." He was breathing as if he'd just finished a marathon. "Are you sure Rae?"

  "I'm sure Luke...that is if you still want me?"

  "Want you?" He groaned. "I've gone out of my mind wanting you and waiting for you to make just this move."

  "You knew I would?"

  "I hoped, darling."

  The edges of uncertainty blurred and vanished at the love in Luke's voice.

  "Oh, Luke I love you. I've wasted so much time. I'm sorry." Tears streamed down her face and got into her voice.

  "Are you crying again?"

  "Yes." Rachel nodded before she realized Luke couldn't see her, "But it's only because I'm so ha... happy. I don't know why you love me..."

  She was interrupted sternly. "No more of that Rae. I'm a very lucky man."

  "If you say so. I want to hear more about that, later." A spurt of mischief came through clearly in the teasing note in her voice, gladdening Luke's heart. He wanted to fill h
er life with so much sunshine that the shadows never dared return.

  "What I wouldn't give to have you in my arms this very minute, Rae." The huskiness in Luke's voice sent a tremor of delight through her.

  "Me too," Rachel said softly.

  "I'm not sorry you called, but you sure picked a unique time to propose to a guy. I can't touch you or see your face."

  "When are you coming back?" Rachel demanded. "This isn't a real proposal. I want it done the right way. Moonlight, roses and you beside me."

  "You'll have it all," the silken, love wrapped threat made her tremble in delicious anticipation. "I'll be back by tonight."

  "I'll have to call Dr. Smith and let him know I won't be on that plane tonight." All at once she was shy. Words might help. "Wish I'd known earlier...I'd have saved myself all the trouble of having those shots. Hannah's going to be so happy."

  "Everyone's going to be so happy," said Luke. "I'm going to contact Rev. Hanson and ask him to marry us at the ranch tomorrow."

  "Tomorrow?" squeaked Rachel, "Isn't that too soon?"

  "No," said Luke firmly. "I've been patient long enough. I'm starting the New Year with my wife. That's unless you don't want to...?"

  But Rachel had lost time to make up for as well. "I want to," she interrupted firmly, "very much."

  "I got Dr. Kenton to do a blood test on me a couple of weeks ago," Luke said," and then just in case you changed your mind, I got a special license and talked to Rev. Hanson."

  "Well!" And she'd had to spend sleepless nights and countless hours worrying to come up with the answer. "You might have told me if you were so sure of the outcome."

  "That was the one thing I couldn't do for you, sweetheart," Luke's tone was deadly serious. "Don't you see? For our marriage to succeed you had to make your own decision. Not that the waiting was easy. Besides, there was a time there I thought I had lost you just by being so damned noble. Hannah didn't help either, serving up boiled carrots every night and carrot muffins for breakfast, muttering about laggards in love. Even Theresa started shooting me pained looks and said something about saying an extra rosary every night."

  Rachel laughed. Her wonderful, gallant, patient, knight in shining armor. "There's so much to do. I have to help Hannah and Theresa get things ready for tomorrow. It's going to be too much for them to do overnight."

  "You're not going to do a thing," interrupted Luke firmly. "The wedding lunch will be catered by a firm in Santa Barbara, which has an excellent reputation for rising to any occasion. I'll call them right away. We'll just have Hannah, Betty and Bud, the Rodriguez' family, Jason, Mojo and everyone who’s still at the ranch for the holidays. Is that okay with you?" At her murmur of assent, he said, "Later, when Dad gets back from his cruise we'll have a huge celebration."

  "I’m glad Mojo’s here. He’s the one who put my thoughts on the right track." Fairy godmothers came in various forms these days. Her thoughts went off at a tangent. "I don't have a dress to wear. Maybe Jason can drive me down to Santa Barbara…”

  "Relax," ordered Luke. "Hannah and Theresa mentioned that all three of you went through the family wedding dresses one day and you seemed to love my mother's. Well, they had it cleaned and told me it would fit you perfectly with half an hour's work on it."

  "Honestly!" Her protest sounded weak. She didn't really mind the arrangements. She was lucky to have found so many people who cared about her.

  "We'll get you a trousseau after the honeymoon."

  "We're not really going away on a honeymoon are we?" She couldn't think of a better place to spend the first weeks of her married life than at the Diamond Bar.

  "Yes, we are," Luke said firmly. "The destination's secret and I don't want to hear a word about Gordie. Betty and Bud will stay on at the ranch till we return and he'll be just fine. We need this time alone with each other."

  "Yes Luke," Rachel said meekly.

  "Are you laughing at me?" he demanded suspiciously.

  "Who, me?" asked Rachel mock innocently. "I wouldn't dream of it."

  Time enough to tell him her plans for a large family would keep them very busy in the years to come and they wouldn’t be alone much in the years to come. Gordie was going to have a passel of brothers and sisters.

  "You have a nice long nap and wait up for me," Luke ordered huskily, his happiness coming over the wires as clearly as if he was in front of her.

  "Wait up for you? Why?" asked Rachel mischievously.

  And her unofficial fiancé proceeded to tell her exactly why.

  He found her in the family room. Being able to charter a small plane in Sacramento had saved quite a bit of time. The single lamp she had turned on bathed the room in a rosy glow. The movement of the rocker told her she was in it. Wisps of a song floated to him over the back. He stood there letting the music flood his being, praying he would always have her to come home to.

  Angela brushed past him, mumbled something to Rae, took Gordie out of her arms and rushed out of the room, closing the door, a huge grin splitting her face. No one else was around. Evidently everyone had their instructions.

  Rachel stood up, turning to see where Gordie was being taken in such a hurry. She saw him and froze.

  Luke waited. Had she changed her mind?

  "Luke?" Her smile held a tinge of uncertainty still.

  "Rae." His voice came out hoarse, unlike himself, betraying his fear.

  She ran to him, flung herself into his waiting arms clinging to him as if she would never let him go. "I love you, Luke."

  The assurance of her love was there in her touch. In her face. It shone through her eyes and he knew she was giving herself to him, body, mind and soul. Forever.

  "I love you, sweetheart."

  Their lips met in sweet token of the promise of eternity. And Luke knew they would spend the rest of their lives celebrating their love.

  EPILOGUE

  Gordon shifted the Christmas tree trunk resting on his shoulder to a more comfortable position and came to a halt. The shrapnel in his leg made it hard to run down the hill as he once had but he was grateful his war injury was nothing worse than that. He looked back. Marie was a little way behind him, her pregnancy making her choose her footing carefully. He waited, content. Life was good. His last tour of duty in Afghanistan had ended abruptly with his injury but he was over the series of surgeries and the rehab now and could dedicate himself to his family and life at the ranch.

  Dad was glad to hand the everyday running of the Diamond Bar back to him. Gordon planned on employing as many veterans as he could on the Diamond Bar, giving them a place to live till they got their lives together. Mom and Dad had started a program which offered scholarships at the local college for vets, and had donated land plus the cost of cabins to be put up for those who needed homes while getting their lives back into shape, besides contributing millions to veteran rehab programs. Dad’s careful investments over the years made it all possible.

  Mom worked daily with the wives on programs for the children and devising ways to make life good for those who had given so much for their country. Marie’s dad, Mojo, worked with the vets on the ranch to get them riding and it was amazing the therapy that provided.

  “Penny for your thoughts,” His beautiful wife came up beside him and Gordon looked at her glowing dark eyes so like her father’s, remembering the blessing Mojo had given them on their wedding day, “Love each other always.”

  “I love you,” he said.

  Marie went ahead of him, tossed her waist length black hair back as she grinned at him over her shoulder and said, “Come on slow poke. They’ll be at the dinner table if we don’t get there soon and they’ll all know it wasn’t cutting the tree down that took us so long up there.”

  Gordon laughed as he joined her.

  A picture of his parents’ dinner table flashed in front of his eyes. He had carried that memory close to his heart through two tours of duty abroad.

  At the head of the table, Mom, her hair turning silver next to Dad w
ho had more lines on his face than he could count. She would look at him as he and Marie came in and her whole face would light up as if it had been months, not just hours since she had last seen him. His siblings still teased him about being her favorite.

  Dad would get up, kiss Marie and tell him to come join them.

  The love Mom and Dad surrounded their family and each other with was evident every day.

  At the other end, Grammy Hannah frail but still turning out incredible cakes would smile. She spent most of her time on the porch in her rocking chair with her macramé when she wasn’t supervising the younger generation in the kitchen. Next to her was Tia Theresa. When Mom had re-designed her kitchen, both Grammy and Tia had been given separate work stations of their own and days they could cook for the family to prevent any clashes.

  On Dad’s left hand, would be Giselle the sister closest to him, a veterinarian. Next to her would be her husband, Jim, also a veterinarian. Next to Jim would be Christina, his second sister, adopted from Bangladesh. She was just recently back from college where she was following Dad’s footsteps and getting a degree in computer science. There would be the one empty chair for the youngest, Mark, still on duty in Afghanistan but he was due home in two days. Mom would look at that chair often during the meal, her heart in her eyes and Dad’s hand would come up and cover hers, the wordless comfort powerful evidence of their faith that Mark would be home safe soon.

  Gordon always sat on Mom’s right hand, Marie next to him. Beside her Mojo, his father in law, would be there too with Marie’s Mom Angela.

  Tia Theresa had lost Juan, her husband, to influenza two winters ago. Since then Tia Theresa and Grammy Hannah shared a cottage, keeping each other company in their golden years.

  Giselle and Jason were building their own house on the land they’d been given as a wedding gift, close to the ranch. Gordon and Marie had been given the same choice but they had opted to live in the main house with Mom and Dad. Neither of them wanted Rachel and Luke to be alone and there was plenty of room for everyone.