Rebellion Project

by Sara Schoen

  “Hello?” she questioned, she must not have looked at the caller ID if she was asking who this was.

  “Parker, I need your help with something,” I stated without pausing for common telephone pleasantries. I wanted to get to the point of this conversation as fast as possible so I wouldn’t have time to change my mind.

  “Sure. What is it, Lauren?”

  “I need you to teach me how to break the rules. I no longer want to live under the rules set for me. I want to break free and live life. I want to honor the wishes my mom had for me,” I stated, not realizing Parker wouldn’t understand what I meant without her knowing what happened in the attorney’s office. “She left me everything, and she wants me to live the life I want, but I don’t know how. If I do it alone, I’ll never be able to do it. I’m a mess, and need help. I need your help.”

  “I would love to help with that,” she stated. “Can I just say that it’s about goddamn time you made this phone call?” I could hear the smile in her words as she agreed to help me. “There’s no turning back once you start this, Lauren. You know that, right? I know you’re upset about your mom, and you have every right to be, but once we start down this road you’re stuck with it.” It sounded more as if she was warning me instead of asking to make sure I knew what I was getting into.

  “I don’t want to go back, Parker. I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said as I hung up the phone and glanced out the window. I could feel the heartache of my mother’s loss slowly washing over me again, beginning to crash down and suffocate me. Tears had already welled up in my eyes, even though I had cried so much lately I didn’t think I had much more in me. I wanted to push it away, to feel something other than the void in my chest, but the only thing easing me was the promise of a new life. That’s when I decided I wasn’t going to stay in my room, I was going to go to Parker’s house no matter what my father had to say about it.

  Chapter 8

  Virgin White

  “Parker, where are we going?” I whined as she dragged me toward my locker. She hadn’t explained anything since she made me race out of Physics to meet her before lunch. Ever since she agreed to help me she had been sneaking around and keeping secrets. That included when I went to her house the first night. We tried a lot of little things to build my confidence, but I felt as though it wasn’t working. I was slowly slipping back into my old behavior around my father and I could only attribute it to losing my mother. She had been my support and guidance, with her gone I wanted to please my father again, if only to stop the arguments. “Can you just tell me what we’re doing?”

  “Well, I don’t really know how to teach you to be more like me. So far you’ve managed to talk yourself out of everything we tried because you’re worried about getting into trouble. So I got you a mentor instead,” Parker said with a forced smile as she looked at me nervously.

  I felt a dejected expression take over my features. It’d barely been a week and she was already giving up, but maybe it was for the better. As my friend, Parker wouldn’t want to start a fight, maybe she found someone who was willing to push me to take a leap out of my comfort zone. “Okay, so what’s wrong?”

  “Well, you’re not really going to like who it is,” she said with a fake smile on her face.

  “What does that mean?”

  “It means that I could only find one person to help you out, and you and him don’t really see eye to eye,” Parker said as she pointed down the hall toward my locker. I didn’t understand what she was saying until my eyes landed on Kayden. He was leaning against my locker flirting with some blonde girl as if he were there for fun instead of meeting with us. Why wasn’t I surprised that he’d taken advantage of getting the attention of the first girl he saw?

  “Are you kidding me, Parker?” I growled as I caught sight of Kayden pulling the girl in for a kiss in front of my locker. I whipped around quickly to glare at my best friend, who held her hands up in a surrendering gesture, so I wouldn’t have to watch them make out in front of me. “I don’t want to work with him. I don’t even want to be in the same building as him!”

  “You said it yourself, he’s bad news. He knows what he’s doing, and he’s willing to help.”

  “Did you not hear the terms of the agreement he wanted to help me “shed the goodie-goodie reputation” before he blurted my family’s divorce reason in front of everyone he could? He wanted me to give him my virginity,” I added the last word in a whisper after checking to see if anyone was around us and listening. “I can’t give that to him! Why can’t you teach me? You’d be a great teacher! We can go home and eat on the couch right now,” I offered with a smile, hoping to win her over.

  “What you want to do is more than sitting on the couch and eating messy food,” Parker pointed out. I told her I wanted to be different. I wanted to feel like me, not who someone else made me to be. But every time we tried, the goodie-goodie in me came out or the black hole that had been left by my mother’s death swallowed me whole and we had to take a break. “I know you guys haven’t gotten along the last few years, but he’s willing to help. It’s up to you if the stakes are worth the prize. I can’t help you make that choice. I can only give you the means to make the choice.”

  “I like how you choose now to let me decide while you get all deep and spiritual,” I said with a frown as I glanced over at Kayden, who was waving good-bye to his new female friend. I groaned as I realized she was right. Parker wouldn’t push me, especially when it came to being upset over my loss, I needed someone who truly didn’t care about me, and on the top of that list was Kayden. He’d make sure I stuck with this choice, and if it was the only way to do it, I’d have to. “I can’t believe I’m about to do this.”

  “Good luck, you’ll probably need it,” Parker said as she gave me a pat on my back before giving me a slight push forward.

  I stumbled from the force of her push. Luckily I caught myself, and made it to Kayden without falling into him. That would have been a great impression for the first time we were going to have to get along since fourth grade.

  “It’s about time, GG. When Parker told me you wanted to talk to me I didn’t think you’d leave me here waiting for you,” he said with an unamused, stoic facial expression. I opened my mouth to say he hadn’t been waiting that long since the blonde girl walked off, but before I could speak he started talking again. “I’m sorry, by the way. I know I’m really hard on you, but I shouldn’t have blurted out your family problems to the whole school. I thought since you were telling Parker at school that everyone knew, but I should have known better.”

  “Yeah, you should have,” I agreed with a snide remark.

  “Anyway,” Kayden said, “I asked Parker how to apologize and she said the only way I could make it up to you was to be here at noon. I didn’t think I would be standing here for almost twenty minutes waiting for you. Otherwise I wouldn’t have agreed. I have other things to do, starting with eating lunch.”

  “Is that the only thing Parker told you? That you’re going to make it up to me by waiting for me to show up so I can hear your best try at a sincere apology?” I asked curiously, because if he thought that he was dead wrong. That wouldn’t make up for what he’s done to me, not even close.

  “Well, no. I have a feeling it has to do with your plan to keep your minimal freedom. You still want to shed the goodie-goodie reputation and try living life on the edge, right?”

  I nodded my head, shocked he had the intelligence to make the connection. I kept that remark to myself though, we needed to make progress in our relationship if this was going to work, and snide comments weren’t going to help. “Can you help me with this? Because that’s the only way I’m going to forgive you for what you’ve done to me over the years.”

  “What have I done that’s been so bad that you’re going to force me to be your rebellion tutor? It couldn’t have been that bad,” he said with a disbelieving gleam in his eye.

  I didn’t miss a beat as I rattled off one of the more embarr
assing things he’d done to me over the years. “Do you remember that time you put fake blood on my pants when I first started high school and everyone laughed at me because they thought I had my period?” There were worse, but I decided to start off small in case he didn’t get it.

  “Oh yeah! That was great!” He laughed as the memory came back to him. Glad I held back the worse ones now. Kayden had no heart if he didn’t feel bad for everything he’d done to me over the years. He had to know they weren’t right, and were downright demeaning.

  “Or how about when you pulled down my shorts in gym and everyone saw my underwear and told me to be careful or I’d ruin them on my next period?”

  “That sounds like good advice to me,” he replied with a nonchalant shrug, as if that made it all better and I’d suddenly understand his crass humor and forgive him. Wrong.

  “Oh, and let’s not forget blurting out what happened to my parents in front of the whole school a few weeks before my mom died,” I said with a glare, practically choking on the words. I tried to force back the tears, I had gotten better at it, but a few still managed to slip out. It would never stop hurting.

  Kayden straightened up suddenly, shocked at the news, and I knew I had won this fight. I just wish I hadn’t needed to pull the ‘my mom died’ card. He’d think I used it as a ploy later, and I’d never hear the end of it. He clamored for an answer and settled with a mediocre apology. “I didn’t mean to, Lauren. I didn’t know. It was―”

  “I really don’t want to hear the excuses, Kayden. I just want one answer—are you going to help me or not?”

  We locked eyes for a second. I could see the mental debate going on through his icy blue eyes, but the decision came quickly. “I will, but you know the terms in order for you to get my assist, GG. If I have to spend months on this project, then I want something out of it too. Doing it for a month would make up for all that stuff I did to you, but if you’re dedicated, it’s going to take a couple months to make it stick and not just be a phase.”

  “What are your terms again?” I asked, hoping he would change them since he wanted to make it up to me for telling the whole school my family problems. I wasn’t sure I could risk something that I held so highly. I was trying to save it for when I fell in love, but so far that hadn’t happened, and if my dad had his way, it wouldn’t happen until after medical school. I was okay with waiting though, if that’s what it took. I wanted it to be special, and not just another lay for some high school guy.

  “Your virginity. It’s got to go, and it’s got to be by me, my little rebel.” He offered me the smile he used to win the other girls over. When was he going to learn that it didn’t work on me?

  “Would you stop calling me that?” I asked as I tried to think about how to get around his terms and not have to give him my virginity.

  “I thought you’d like it better than GG, but I can stop if you like. So what do you say, GG? Do we have a deal?” he asked with a smirk. As I looked him in the eyes, I could see this was the only way to get him to help me. If I wanted his help, I had to give him the only thing I had to offer to make this project worth his time. “I don’t have all day to waste, Rebel. Either take the terms of the agreement as is or don’t. It’s your choice,” he said.

  When I didn’t answer right away, he rolled his eyes and started to walk away. If I let him go, I wouldn’t get another chance, and Parker had already said she couldn’t be my teacher and help me the way I wanted. Kayden could have asked for more, and while the asking price was high, I had nothing else to give him, I had nothing else to offer. So if I wanted this, I had to agree. As he turned toward the cafeteria I realized it was now or never and I had to make my choice.

  “I’ll make you a new deal,” I called out. He stopped and turned back to look at me with his eyebrow raised slightly. “I’ll help you pass whatever classes you need help in. I’ll do all of your homework, and for the class we share, you can cheat off of me for the tests. I won’t tell anyone, I swear. Just help me!”

  Kayden turned the rest of the way and offered me a smile. “While that’s tempting, I regret to inform you I’m actually acing all of my classes. I don’t need your help in any of my classes, so let me be perfectly clear when I say that the only way I’m helping is if you agree to the terms I set. You know what I want.” He waited again, and I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. I wanted to change, and I knew I needed help, but did he have to ask for the one thing I didn’t want to give up?

  I sighed, calming myself down. I knew I needed his help, and to get his help I had to agree. Here goes everything. “If you can actually help me change my reputation, you can have my virginity, but only if it changes and sticks. It can’t just be for a week because you convince people that I’ve changed and then you go back to calling me GG again, Kayden. It has to change for good and you have to make it believable too.”

  He nodded. “We’ll start over Christmas break.”

  “That’s next week,” I said nervously, realizing what I had just agreed to would be happening sooner than I thought. Was I ready?

  “Yeah, that’s kind of the point, GG. Start as early as possible,” he said with a smirk. “I get another week to figure out how to change you for the better, and to call you GG. I would like more time, but there’s no time like the present. I’ll see you next week. Catch you later, GG,” he said with a dismissive wave of his hand.

  What did I just get myself into?

  With Kayden as my mentor this meant one of two things; either my plan was going to work out perfectly and I had to pay what I promised, or it was going to fail epically and I would become a laughingstock again. I’m not sure which I would prefer, but there was no backing out now. I didn’t want to live under my dad’s rules anymore. I wanted to make my own life, just like my mom wanted me to, and I was going to succeed no matter what.

  Chapter 9

  Hair Dye

  My father was gone for the weekend on a business trip. Reveling at being home alone, I was sitting in the family room watching television alone. It was awkward having him in the house, and since we’d come home from the attorney’s office things between us had gotten worse so I tried my best to avoid him. I was also thankful he was gone because I knew Kayden was due to show up any minute to start our project, for lack of a better word. I just didn’t know when. I was nervous, but at the same time I was excited. This was a new opportunity for me, and I refused to let it pass so that I could slip back into old habits. My dad wouldn’t be pleased, but frankly I didn’t care. He had relinquished his ability to tell me the right thing when he cheated on Mom.

  The doorbell rang, breaking me from my thoughts before they could delve further into the dark abyss. Immediately I got up to open it, but I hesitated at the door. My hand was on the cold metal of the door knob, but I couldn’t open it. I wasn’t supposed to answer the door when no one else was home. My other hand balled into a fist as I tried to figure out what to do. Do I open it or not? What if it was someone dangerous, and not someone I knew? I felt a spike of fear surge through me. What if this person knew I was home alone and was going to hurt me like my dad always warned me about? Then I would have to do whatever they wanted in order to stay alive, but they would probably kill me anyway like in the television shows and movies.

  “Lauren, open the door!” Kayden yelled through the door.

  A groan escaped my lips, and all of my fears vanished. I was a little disappointed it was Kayden, but at least it wasn’t someone here to harm me. I opened the door and caught a glance at his choleric expression. He was leaning against the outer glass door with his arms crossed, and when we made eye contact he gave me an over-exaggerated eye roll. Even if I hadn’t seen the facial expression, his body language would be enough to tell me he was irate I made him wait.

  “What took you so long to open the door? I could see you through the window, and you were just standing there as if I was going to open the door for you. Were you debating on whether or not to open the door? Were y
ou afraid I was going to kidnap you or something?” he asked jokingly as he walked into the house.

  I didn’t reply as I shut the door, hoping he’d let it go. When I turned around he was glancing around my house. I shifted uncomfortably when he turned to look at our posed family photos and snapshots from trips we’d taken when I was young. There wasn’t anything recent. I attributed that to Mom knowing she was going to get a divorce soon. She probably didn’t want to carry on the charade.

  “So, what were you thinking while I was waiting for you to open the door?” Kayden asked once again, leaving the family photos behind. I wonder if he found what he was looking for. Whether he was in search of the reason I followed the rules, pictures of a broken family, or he was just curious. I wasn’t sure. I could never be completely sure what Kayden’s intentions were.

  “I didn’t know it was you. Anything was possible,” I said with a shrug as he glared at me with a questioning expression. “Why are you even here again? It’s not to make fun of me, is it?”

  “I’m here to start your rehabilitation program,” Kayden said as he walked up to a picture of Parker and me at the beach. Parker and I had been buried in the sand and sculpted into mermaids by my mom, which included sand shell bikinis covering our bathing suits. There was a faint smile on his lips before he wiped it away.

  “That makes me sound like a drug addict,” I replied. “How about you just call it what you really want to—a forced group project.”

  “Either way,” he said as he moved from one picture to the next. Most of them had turned into Parker and me, and suddenly I felt embarrassed by the photos on the wall. As if he would see something I didn’t want him to. “I’ve figured out what we should to do to get the ball rolling. I want everyone to see you as someone different when we go back to school in January. Then we can work from there.”