by Sara Schoen
I felt alone and terrified. I wished Kayden hadn’t been taken out. I wished he could have come with me instead of going separately. I knew I looked like a mess because when the female police officer came to get me, a look of pity crossed her face.
“It’s going to be fine, just calm down,” she whispered as she led me inside and into what she called a holding cell. Kayden was in there, angry and yelling at the male officer as I walked in. Once the woman put me inside, she took off the handcuffs and told me to sit down, that my father would be here soon to get me. I barely heard her because as soon as the cuffs were off me Kayden had me wrapped in his arms and started to coo softly in my ear to calm me down.
“You’re okay, it’s going to be okay. I’m sorry this happened, I didn’t mean for it to. I never planned for you to get arrested. You handled it so well. I’m so sorry this happened, but I will make it up to you, I promise.” I didn’t answer him, I just cried as he tried to calm me down. I cried in his arms until an officer came to retrieve me from the cell when my dad came to get me. Kayden quickly used his t-shirt to wipe away my tears and tried to make it look like I hadn’t been crying as he swiped my new bangs into my eyes. “Please stop crying, it’s killing me on the inside. I feel so awful. I will make this up to you. I’m going to make sure you don’t take any of the blame. It’s all on me, Lauren.” He leaned in and kissed my cheek, taking a few tears with him.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and let the tears fall. Between his comfort and his touching support I was putty in his hands.
Chapter 16
Jail Break
The last few nights had been rough. Kayden and I had spent a few hours together in a cell. He comforted me the entire time, and made sure I was taken care of. He would ask the female officer who brought me in for water, and to let me make a phone call for my dad to pick me up. I had cried when I called my father…he was livid when he came to pick me up and it only got worse. In the car ride back home when I took off my coat in the hot car, I had accidentally revealed the compass tattoo on the back of my neck, which was still covered in plastic.
Needless to say, I was grounded the second I got into the house, about a week into winter break and I was already in trouble. We had barely started my transformation, I was already grounded and barely recognized myself when I looked in the mirror. I actually really liked the blue hair, it seemed to be more like me, even though I missed my blonde hair. I liked that I had dressed a little differently too because I was expressing myself instead of hiding under my clothes. I used to wear jeans and baggy shirts, but now I was wearing tighter clothes that I felt were flattering.
It didn’t please my father as much as it pleased me, however. I had to thank Kayden for it, and comforting me when I was put in a holding cell. I felt my lips twitch as I thought back to it. He had done it willingly, but I never expected him to comfort me. It wasn’t really his fault either, but he took the blame for me getting put into the back of the cop car. It was almost as if he cared about me the way he took care of me and held me in his arms while I cried. Then when I stopped crying, we started talking as if we were actual friends.
I shared with him the first and only time I had ever lied, which I had felt so guilty about afterward that I never lied again. I explained that I had lied to my mom about how my khaki pants got ruined. I had said that someone spilled their coffee on my pants because I wasn’t sure what really happened. It was only later that I realized my swim bag leaked and caused coloring to dye my pants. I had felt so guilty about lying I never did it again.
Kayden laughed and told me he thought it was cute. He wished he could have seen it so he could have watched the blush sweep across my features as it did whenever I got flustered. He said that it’s cute when I blush, which only caused the heat to run across my face. It gave me such an odd feeling that I had been thinking about since I got back home.
He had been nothing but mean to me throughout high school and now he was being nice to me. Of course, he had done it because I was a wreck from getting arrested, but it still makes butterflies go wild in my stomach. I sighed heavily as I sat back on my bed, confined to my room for the remainder of my punishment. I had heard very little from Kayden since I got back home. He had let me know yesterday that his mom had finally come to get him out of the holding cell. She dropped the charges on him naturally, but I haven’t heard from him since.
He said he had something planned, but when I told him I was grounded he just groaned and gave me a talk about how rebellion meant not caring that I was grounded. He was going to break me out and then do something special for me, but I wasn’t sure what. I also couldn’t get the idea of Christmas out of the way, if Kayden and I were fake dating, would we still have to spend time together for the holiday or could we just skip it? Though with how angry my father was at me lately, I would prefer to spend the holiday with Kayden. Then again, I’d have to be with Kayden’s mom for the holidays, and I didn’t want that, either.
My father had been so upset after bringing me home, he had rarely spoke to me and when he did it was mean and callous. He didn’t support my change, but he didn’t understand that if you never try to fly you will live your whole life on the ground, and I didn’t want to live on the ground any longer. I wanted to fly high above the ground and be free from gravity’s hold. The only way I knew how to have that chance was to be the exact opposite of what I had been. I was going to do it no matter what.
I heard a knock on the door that brought me out of my thoughts, I slowly opened my door to look down at the main entrance as my father opened the front door.
“Ugh, not you again.” I heard him groan as I tried to look around my dad’s large body to see who was at the door. I heard a familiar chuckle that brought a smile to my face and lifted my spirits as I raced down the stairs to see Kayden looking around my dad to see me. He smiled and extended his hand for me to take.
“It was a pleasure to see you, Mr. Scott, but I came to get Lauren. Now that she is here I would like to get her and leave. I have a special time planned for her,” he stated calmly as he motioned for me to follow him.
There was something about the way he said it that filled me with excitement. I wanted to reach out and take his hand, and see what he had waiting for me. I let an excited squeal leave my lips as I made my way toward the door, but my father’s voice stopped me in my tracks.
“She’s not going anywhere with you,” he stated as he put his hand on the door frame to block me from making through the door. He blocked off my exit and looked back at me as if waiting for me to accept his choice. When I didn’t move, he ordered me to. “Go back to your room, Lauren.”
I could see the anger in his eyes, shrinking my confidence. My words caught in my throat as his gaze lowered my self-assurance; I wasn’t sure what to do. I heard Kayden scoff, and could just imagine him rolling his eyes.
“I think that’s her choice now, Mr. Scott. Not to be disrespectful or anything, but it’s typically up to the lady what happens when it involves herself. Although, I guess in this day and age you can’t be sure, can you?” I heard him ask with a condescending tone. “But don’t worry, I respect your daughter, and no means no. She will have no fears with me.”
“Except getting arrested again,” my father replied in a cold tone.
I heard Kayden’s breath catch in his throat for a moment before he cleared it uncomfortably. There was a moment of uncertainty on my part, unsure of what to do, but once I glanced over my father’s shoulder and saw Kayden’s downturned face I made the choice. I ducked under my father’s outstretched arm and linked my hand with Kayden’s to offer support as he had once done for me. I wasn’t going to let my dad berate Kayden for stepping forward to protect me.
“I’m going, Dad. I’ll be back later,” I forced out. I gripped Kayden’s hand for comfort as I tried to make myself stand up to my father. If I wanted this change, I would have to learn to stand up for myself, and I should probably start while I have someone here to support me
. I would need his support for a while, but I would eventually have to learn to do it without Kayden by my side. I knew once our agreement was over and I gave him the only thing I had to offer him; he would leave, I had no doubt about it. Maybe I’d accept it by the time it came for us to go our separate ways, or maybe I’d be crushed from how attached to him I had become. I was already attached to him, I could feel it, and that didn’t mean good news for me.
“Lauren, you can’t be serious. Get inside, you’re still grounded,” my father yelled.
I froze momentarily, I had never been able to handle getting yelled at. I broke down the second someone started to scream at me, and I think Kayden knew that. He squeezed my hand lightly to offer support and to push me to keep trying. He was what I needed, and with his help I would be able to stand up to my dad for the first time.
“I’m very serious, Dad. I’m going with Kayden, and I’ll come back later.”
My father’s face scrunched up in shock. His eyebrows crashed together, his forehead gained a few lines as the skin moved with his eyebrows and his lips turned down in an angry frown.
“What led to this, Lauren? You never would have done this before. You always listened, and did as instructed. You were well-behaved and on a good track for life, but now you’ve thrown it all away to be with this boy. You’re got arrested, you got a tattoo, and all of this stuff, why are you doing this?”
I stopped and thought about his question. To be honest I wasn’t sure at first, but I had been thinking about it more and more. I knew there was only one answer for him. “Ever since you cheated on Mom you showed me that even if I did everything I was told to, then there would still be something that could go wrong.”
“What does your mother have to do with this?”
“She has everything to do with this, Dad! Don’t you see?”
“No, I don’t! I don’t understand what has gotten into you or what has caused you to change like this. You used to be so well-behaved and now look at you,” he yelled as he flicked his hands toward me in total disgust.
“What’s the point of living life under these rules if I’m still going to end up being hurt like Mom was? She did everything right, did what she was supposed to do, and then you cheated on her and ruined her life. Then worst of all she moved out of the house she loved, because she couldn’t stand to be near you anymore. She had to take a different route, and then she got into a crash, but she gave me advice before she died. She told me to live my life, the one I want to, not the one you want me to, and in order to do that I have to break some of the rules,” I pointed out.
“You wanted to be a doctor!”
“When I was like five, Dad! I haven’t wanted to be a doctor since sixth grade, and every time I tried to tell you that you just brushed it off as if I said nothing at all. Mom heard me, she listened. She knew I had other interests and encouraged me to follow them.”
“And I didn’t listen?” he asked, completely flabbergasted at the idea that he hadn’t listened to me growing up.
“She was the only one that truly understood me because she listened to me. She cared for me enough to accept that I no longer wanted to be a doctor and she just wanted me to be happy. You wanted me to live the life you didn’t, but this isn’t what I wanted. I have no idea what I want to do, but I know I don’t want to be a doctor. I want to date who I want to date,” I said as Kayden stepped closer to me and took my hand in his. “And I want to be able to do whatever I decide to do.”
“You can’t do all this, Lauren, you’re not―”
“Dad, I’m being a teenager. I’m meant to get into trouble, I’m supposed to do things that you don’t approve of. Just give me my freedom.”
“Will you follow my rules? If not, then you’re still grounded and I’m not going to tolerate any more of this wildness. No more of this boy, either! I don’t want to see him ever again!”
“He’s the son of the woman you cheated on Mom with! You used your freedom and made your own choices. I now have the freedom to make my own choices, and I’m not going to give that up, Dad. Either you accept that or I walk away. I’m not going to live under your rules anymore. I want to be able to live how I want. You can’t take that away from me again.” I turned on my heel and pulled Kayden out of the house while my father shouted for me to come back—but I wasn’t going back. There was no going back.
“I’m impressed. I didn’t think you had it in you,” Kayden complimented as we got in the car and drove off. I was surprised that my father hadn’t chased after us. Either he didn’t care that I was leaving, or he had given up. I hoped it was the latter because I didn’t want him to stop caring about me. I just wanted a little more freedom.
“Thanks, I have you to thank for that. If you hadn’t been there to support me, I’m not sure I could have done it.” I turned to look at him and noticed the faint smile on his lips. “So where are we going?” I asked as he turned the corner out of my neighborhood.
“How do you feel about breaking and entering?”
I glanced at him to see if he was serious. His features were stoic, and that worried me. “I don’t like it.”
Kayden flashed me a mischievous smile. “Well, too bad. We’re doing it anyway, Rebel.”
Chapter 17
Make Up or Break Up
I had been staying at Parker’s house for the last few days since walking out on my dad. I thought it was for the best, especially since I was scared to face him again, but I knew I would have to go back soon. Christmas was tomorrow, and I would have to be with my family even if we weren’t thrilled about being in the same house again. I had tried to find a way around going, even staying with someone else, but it just wasn’t possible. Mostly because Parker was going on a cruise with her family for the holiday season and wouldn’t be back until school started, and staying with Kayden was out of the question.
I knew I’d also have to go back because I would feel bad for not spending the holiday with my dad. He was the only family I had left now, but I knew he was still pretty angry after everything that happened. Between me receiving everything from my mom, him losing control of me, and my refusal to accept his tyrannical behavior, he wasn’t pleasant to be around. I mostly didn’t want to go back because it wouldn’t be the same. I would miss my mom, and how she celebrated the holidays. I had loved her spirit, and how elated she was during the holiday season.
She was always cooking or decorating around the house. The tree was always amazing, filled to the brim with glass ornaments, tinsel, and bubble lights; they were my favorite. The house smelled of pine from the real wreath she got every year. From the moment we stepped inside we knew it was Christmas time, and days before the big day the gifts would be under the tree, waiting for us. It wouldn’t be until Christmas Eve that she would slide in the gifts from “Santa,” but I always appreciated her keeping the magic alive. Even when I was old enough to know Santa wasn’t real.
I sighed heavily as I picked up my backpack off of Parker’s bedroom floor and walked toward the front door. They had already left for the cruise, and I promised them that I would go home for the holidays. While I had contemplated staying here by myself while they were gone, I knew Parker’s mom would call me to make sure I had gone home the second she found time. Luckily for me, I had a few more hours before I had to go home because Kayden said he had a Christmas gift for me. For a little while longer I could avoid facing my father and the inevitable backlash I would receive for disobeying him.
I had a feeling Kayden was taking me back to where we had gone when he saved me from my grounding. He had broken into an abandoned building near the edge of town. I wasn’t sure what it had been, to me it looked like an old garage complete with a lift garage door, which was how Kayden got in. He lifted it with ease and let me slip under before he joined me. It was big on the inside, and wide open from everything being taken out when they deserted the place. I took the stairs up to the second floor, which not only looked over the ground floor, it looked over the town.<
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It sat perfectly perched on a hill, honestly it would have been a great spot for a house. You could see the town, the perfect position to see the sunset, and just be away from everyone. That’s also why Kayden said he liked going there to clear his mind. He liked to come here alone, but he thought I needed a way to clear my head too. He even said I was the only person he’d ever brought with him.
It made me smile, knowing that he considered me close enough to bring with him when no one else had come before.
We talked for hours and it allowed me to open up to Kayden for the first time. I told him that my family is really important to me, which is why losing my mom was so hard, and then fighting with my dad made it worse. I wanted to make him happy, I wanted him to be proud to call me his daughter, but finding myself and learning to stand on my own were also important to me.
Kayden said that our plan was working in my favor for those goals. He explained I was slowly opening up and acting of my own free will. Even if I needed a little extra support, he said I was doing it on my own instead of relying on someone else. He said Cassandra had told everyone I had stood up to her to get her hands off my boyfriend. We laughed momentarily at that before he said now everyone knew they were dating.
“This plan of ours, it could really work.”
I was pleased to hear that, but I wished he could fix everything between my dad and me too. Kayden offered more support than I could imagine, and even gave me a pep talk. I think it was because he knew how I was feeling. Since he found out about the affair he hadn’t been at his home either, and when he did go it was when his mom was at work. Instead he had been bouncing around between friends. He had stayed a few nights with Ryan, then gone to a few other people’s houses, but just like me he’d have to go back eventually. That’s when we had decided we would go back to our respective houses for Christmas. We would make the leap and just trust that Christmas wouldn’t be as awkward as I thought it was going to be.