Hold Me Like This (A second chance, small town romance) (Love Me Like This Book 3)

by Lola StVil

  “Grey?” Dick says, his voice low and concerned.

  I realize I haven’t answered his question, and I feel guilty now. His concern throws me and makes me even more embarrassed about the horrible things I was thinking about him.

  “Yes, thank you. I’m just a little hot. Are you hot?” I babble, my nervous energy pouring out of me with my words.

  “Would you like to move out to the patio? It’ll be cooler there,” he says.

  That genuine concern is back on his face, and I remind myself that it’s not Dick’s fault he’s not Holden. I shake my head.

  “No, honestly, I’m fine here,” I say. “I must be getting old, having hot flashes.”

  I laugh, and Dick laughs with me, and some of the nerves leave me. I can get through tonight without embarrassing myself.

  “For the record, I find that hard to believe,” he says. He winks at me, a playful wink rather than a lecherous one. “You don’t look a day over forty-five.”

  I laugh. A genuine laugh. I instantly feel guilty, like I’m betraying Holden by laughing at Dick’s jokes. I tell myself I’m being stupid. I’m going to drive myself crazy if I can’t stop acting like this.

  “What can I say?” I reply. “I have an excellent skin-care routine.”

  As our laughter dies down, Tammy reappears beside the table with our meals. She sets Dick’s steak down in front of him. He nods his approval, and she sets a plate down in front of me. Instead of fish and salad, world’s worst combination, I have a steak too, and a large side of fried mushrooms.

  I look up in surprise and catch Cannon’s eye. He raises his glass and gives me a smug smile.

  “That’s not what we ordered,” Dick says.

  “Oh, I’m sorry,” Tammy says, looking nervous.

  “I demand you—”

  “That looks delicious,” I cut in. I smile sweetly at Dick. “I’m so glad you remembered I hate fish and salad. And how did you know I love mushrooms? I’m really impressed that you would know that.”

  Tammy looks from me to Dick, her nervous expression still there.

  “I made it my business to know,” Dick says, looking confused even as he says it. “I want to know everything about you.”

  He turns to Tammy.

  “Thank you. That will be all.”

  She scurries away as quickly as she can without actually running. I don’t know whether to laugh or be annoyed that Dick, who has no idea what just happened, is just rolling with it and taking the credit for the right meal appearing. I wonder what he thinks happened.

  I cut into the steak and put a piece in my mouth. It’s cooked to perfection, and I can’t help but make an mmm sound as the juices flood my mouth. Dick makes a similar sound of approval as he tries his own steak.

  “It’s not as good as yours obviously, but it’s a damn close second.” He smiles.

  I return his smile.

  “As long as mine’s better,” I say. “This is really good though.”

  Dick raises his glass again.

  “To good food and even better company,” he says.

  I clink my glass against his and take a sip of my drink. I certainly wouldn’t say the company was better than the food, but he did say my steaks were better than these, which earns him major brownie points and so he gets a clink anyway.

  As we eat, his cell phone keeps buzzing on the table, and I can’t help but keep glancing at it.

  “Do you need to get that?” I ask.

  “No,” he insists. “There’s a problem at the bank, but it’s not like I can do anything about it until the start of the business day anyway.”

  “You own the bank?” I ask, raising an eyebrow. “I had no idea.”

  “No one does,” Dick replies. “And I’d appreciate it if it stayed that way. My partners and I bought it through a hedge fund, so it’s registered to my company name rather than my personal name. It took long enough for the people here to trust me to pour them a drink. Imagine the horror it would cause if they thought they had to trust me with their life savings.”

  I can’t help but laugh at the thought of it. He’s definitely right. The small-town mentality can be a killer for anyone new to town.

  “No one will hear it from me,” I assure him. “So a banker, huh?”

  “More of an investor really. I don’t know a whole lot about banking, but I do have a knack for employing the right people,” he says.

  It’s the closest he’s ever come to showing any modesty, and I think maybe he’s not all bad. We chat for a while about how he got started in business. When we finish the meal, he excuses himself once more and heads toward the restrooms. I’m glad to have a moment alone to collect myself.

  My cell phone buzzes as a huge cheer goes up from the other side of the bar. I glance behind me and see a large group of guys cheering. I look away quickly, worried they might be from town and regulars at the diner. If that’s the case, one of them will recognize me and come over. The last thing I need is the whole damn town talking about me being out with Dick.

  I check my cell phone. The text is from Cannon, and he’s pissed.

  You will not believe the nerve of that sleazebag. He just gave his number to your waitress. Told her this is a business meeting. What a fucking douchebag.

  I smile to myself and tap out a reply.

  Pretty sure he has no chance with her. Now chill out. I’d rather everyone think this is a business meeting than a date. And it’s not like it’s going to happen again, so good luck to him.

  The reply pings back.

  So you’re going to make it work with Holden?!?!

  I smile as I type back a yes.

  Best news ever, but it still makes Dick sleazy as fuck.

  I smile to myself as another text rolls in.

  Oh fuck. 911. 91 fucking 1.

  I shake my head a little. Cannon can be such a drama queen at times. Like I care that Dick is hitting on the waitress. I mean I feel for her, but that’s it. In a way, I’m relieved. It means I don’t have to feel guilty about coming out with him tonight knowing deep down it will always be Holden who has my heart. He’s clearly not making any show of being focused only on me.

  My cell phone buzzes again, and I smile as I imagine Cannon’s next line of outrage. The smile falls from my face. My blood runs cold, and I suddenly feel as though I can’t breathe when I read his words.

  Holden is here.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  HOLDEN

  Zeke showed up right on time. We went over to Rick’s place, where Rick and Logan were already drinking a few bottles. After a few drinks to get us warmed up, we headed out. Zeke drove us to the edge of town, where a new bar had opened. A bar that Rick informed me was always busy, and with the deals on ladies’ night cocktails, it was always full of women looking for a good time. I spent the rest of the journey teasing him that the only way he could pull a date was waiting until the girl in question had downed enough alcohol for her standards to slip.

  We walk into the bar. It is pretty busy, and it’s still early yet. It’s definitely going to be a good place to catch up. I follow Rick to the bar, and we each get a drink. He leads me around to the other side of the bar, where a group of guys I went to high school with wait. I’m greeted with a cheer, which is kind of nice but also kind of embarrassing.

  We greet each other more quietly after the initial cheer, passing comments about what we’ve been up to and all of the “it’s good to see you” comments.

  “Shots,” Zeke shouts.

  This gets another loud cheer, one I’m sure attracts the attention of everyone in the bar. Zeke goes up to the bar and returns with a tray of Jägerbombs. We down them. I feel good tonight. It’s actually starting to feel all around good being back. Grey and I are in a good place now, and maybe I can even make an effort to forgive my father. I mean, if Grey and I work things out, I can hardly blame him for keeping us apart.

  I can’t help but think of last night. Holy hell, she was on fire. And afterward, when she
said it can’t happen again, she had to know I was just playing along. I know why she is saying it. She doesn’t want me to think she’s forgiven me too easily, but you don’t do that with someone if you don’t plan on doing it again. It wasn’t goodbye sex, it was I’ve missed you, and we’re going to do this every night for the rest of our lives sex.

  I’m not even worried that she hasn’t replied to my text. It plays into the impression she’s trying to give me that it won’t happen again. I’ll play her waiting game; she’s totally worth it.

  “Your round, Rick,” Zeke says.

  Rick nods his head.

  “Damn, Zeke, are you trying to send me home early or what?” I laugh.

  “Go big or go home remember,” he replies with a laugh.

  Rick heads off to the bar. He comes back with a tray of Three Wise Men shots.

  “Hey,” he says to me. “I got an extra one. Cannon’s at the end of the bar on his own. Invite him over to join us if you want to.”

  I nod and pick up two of the shots. I don’t think he’ll want to join us. For him to be here alone, he’s probably waiting on a date or something, but it won’t hurt to sink a shot with him. I wander over to the bar. I spot Cannon and go over. I slide one of the shots toward him.

  “Do you want to join us?” I ask. “Have a few drinks before …”

  I trail off when I see Cannon’s expression. He’s looking at me like I just caught him trying to steal my wallet or something.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask.

  “Umm, nothing,” he lies. “I … umm.”

  I give up trying to make sense of what he’s saying, and instead, I look where his eyes keep going. I see a small group of women, and behind them, an empty booth. Oh, it’s not empty; I can just see the top of a head above the high back. A movement to the side of the booth catches my eye, and I know immediately what’s wrong with Cannon.

  Dick slides into the booth across from the top of the head, and I don’t need Cannon to tell me who the bit of head belongs to. Grey. At least now I understand why she downplayed who I was in the park when we ran into Dick. She obviously has something going on with Dick, and she didn’t want him to know we had history. And when she said it couldn’t happen between us again, she really did mean it. Because she’s seeing Dick.

  She stands up and turns around, and for a second, our eyes meet. I’m not going to have any sort of conversation about this here with my old friends watching us. Clearly, she wanted to get me out of her system and then go back to playing house with her boyfriend. Well, I hope it worked because I am removing myself from the situation, and she’s right; it’ll never happen again between us.

  I know me leaving and not contacting her sooner was a dick move. But I never led her on, and I would never be unfaithful to her. That’s where I draw the line.

  “It’s not what you think,” Cannon says as he realizes I see Grey and Dick and put two and two together.

  “Yeah, it fucking looks like it’s not,” I say.

  I down my shot and his and stalk away, heading toward the back of the bar. I glance back and see Grey following me. I duck down the hallway with the restrooms. There’s a door at the end, what I’m hoping is an exit.

  I reach the door, ignoring Grey calling out my name from behind me. I push it open. It’s not an exit. It leads to a room with a scruffy looking table and a couple of chipped chairs. Most likely the staff’s break room. I turn to leave, but Grey is blocking the exit, and short of pushing her aside, I have no way out without talking to her.

  “I can explain,” she says.

  “You don’t need to. It’s crystal clear what’s going on, Grey,” I snap. “You’re on a date with Dick. Obviously, you weren’t expecting me to show up here.”

  “It’s not like that,” she says, pleading with me with her eyes. Her beautiful eyes that can make me do almost anything. “I am here with Dick, but I can explain.”

  “You’re kidding me, right?” I reply.

  Her desperation turns to anger.

  “You’ve been gone seven fucking years, Holden. Do you really expect me just to pick up where we left off? Did you think I should just hit pause on my life on the off chance you came back?”

  “Yes, I left, and I shouldn’t have, not the way I did, but I’ve apologized for that. What more do you want?”

  The anger drains out of Grey as quickly as it appeared, and she deflates slightly in front of me.

  “Nothing,” she says in a quiet voice. “I want nothing from you.”

  I try to ignore the stab of hurt that runs through me.

  “Well, then it’s easy, isn’t it? You don’t want anything, and I don’t have anything to give. So how about you go back to your little date night and have a great life.”

  “Fine,” she snaps.

  She turns and walks away from me. It takes everything I have not to shout for her to come back and tell her to ditch that loser and be with me. If that’s what she wanted to do, then she wouldn’t be out with him. At least now I know why she didn’t reply to my text. She clearly regrets last night and didn’t want to admit it to me.

  I give her a minute to get back to her table. I don’t want to catch up to her in the hall, and I certainly don’t want to have to watch her go back to him. I can’t bear to watch her choose him over me.

  After a few minutes, I head back in, silently fuming, and I go back to the bar. It hurts to see her sitting back in the booth with Dick, who looks smug as fuck. I’m thinking seriously of going over there and smashing that look right off his face, and I’m imagining it when a voice calls out to me.

  “Holden? Hey, I heard you were back in town.”

  I turn in the direction of the voice, and I can’t help but smile when I see Carter, an old military buddy of mine. He’s sitting opposite a pretty girl who smiles warmly as I approach their table. Carter moves along, and I sit down beside him, trying to focus on him and the woman rather than keeping my attention on Grey and Dick.

  “How are you?” Carter asks me.

  “Good,” I say. “It’s strange to be back though. How are you?”

  “Never better,” Carter says. He nods toward the woman. “This is Ryan, my wife.”

  “Wife?” I say with a smile at Ryan. “How on earth did he talk you into that? It’s not too late to change your mind you know,” I tease.

  “Oh, I know, I remind him every day,” Ryan says.

  She laughs and her eyes sparkle. She grins at Carter, who makes a mock serious face and then laughs with her. It’s obvious they are deeply in love.

  I keep one ear on the conversation as Carter tells me about the trouble he ran into back in the military and how he managed to get it all sorted out. It sounds like something out of an action movie, and I’m shocked at what happened, but all the same, my other ear remains alert, listening to Grey and Dick. I hear him ask her to dance. She reluctantly agrees, and he leads her out onto the dance floor. I can’t help but watch. I can feel my body tensing as Dick puts his arms around Grey.

  “What’s the story with that guy?” Carter asks me, noticing the tension in my body and clearly seeing where I’m looking.

  “It’s nothing,” I say, not at all convincingly.

  “Oh shit,” Carter says. “That’s Grey, isn’t it?”

  I nod curtly. I forgot about that one drunken night during training where I told Carter and another guy who were like brothers to me when I had no one else about Grey. I told them everything. How she was the love of my life, how I was going to sort my life out and go back for her. How she was my everything. And I showed them the photo of her I kept on me at all times. Even now, seven years later, Grey looks like the same fresh-faced girl she was in that photo. Once Carter came here, it wouldn’t have taken him long to figure out the Grey who ran the diner was my Grey.

  Dick’s hands are moving up and down Grey’s back. She doesn’t make any move to resist his touch, and I glower in their direction.

  “Look, this has nothing to do with me, but
if you’re worried that girl likes him, you’re wrong,” Ryan says.

  That manages to drag my attention away from Grey and Dick for a second, and I look at Ryan.

  “Look at the way she’s holding herself. She’s rigid. She might not be physically pushing him away, but she’s not loving the attention or encouraging it at all,” she explains.

  I look again, and I see Ryan is right. Grey looks pretty uncomfortable in Dick’s arms. That’s something I suppose. I realize suddenly that I’ve totally intruded on Carter and Ryan’s night and they don’t need my shit weighing them down when they came for a night out.

  “It was nice seeing you, Carter, we’ll have to catch up at some point,” I say, standing up. I turn to Ryan. “Nice meeting you.”

  Carter looks like he wants to warn me not to cause a scene. He doesn’t need to. I have no intention of causing a scene. I’m going to go back to Rick and the others and enjoy my night. Or at least look like I am. If Grey isn’t really enjoying the attention but is pretending she’s happy enough where she is, well, two of us can play that fucking game.

  Ryan smiles and says it was nice to meet me too, and Carter shakes my hand. I go back to the bar and order a beer. I go to return to my group, but then I see Dick’s hand sliding over Grey’s hip and coming to rest on her ass. She grabs his wrist and moves his hand up, placing it on her back. I pull out a stool and sit down. I might be pissed off at Grey, but I’m not having this guy feeling her up if she’s not happy with it.

  I sit watching the two of them, sipping on my drink. The dance floor is livening up a bit now, and I don’t think it’s completely obvious that I’m watching Grey. At least I hope it isn’t. Neither of them has noticed. They don’t even look in my direction.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  GREY

  I don’t know why I agreed to dance with Dick. I guess I figured it would be less awkward dancing with him than sitting across from him in stony silence. I just couldn’t think of any small talk after my conversation with Holden. I was so close to choosing him, to letting go of the old hurt, but I completely fucked that up.