Never Dare a Dragon

by Ashlyn Chase

  She took a few deep breaths, and he could see her trying to wrestle herself under control.

  “That’s a good lass. I’m sure you can warm the place a bit while I’m gone. Just don’t move so Chloe and I can find you again.”

  “What am I supposed to keep burnin’, Brother? Rock?”

  Do I have to think of everything? “We’ll bring some newspapers and branches back as fuel and give you a break. For now, just heat the rocks with your breath. That may produce a bit of steam, but it’ll warm the air.”

  Shannon sighed, then took a deep breath and blew out a stream of fire aimed at the cave walls.

  “Perfect. Thank you, luv. I’m off to fetch our surly sister.” Before Shannon could think of anything else to complain about, he rushed out the cave’s entrance and picked his way over the rocks toward town.

  * * *

  When Amber finally reappeared in the airport bathroom, she mumbled, “I need a vacation,” and went straight home to her apartment building. She thought she must be losing her mind and just wanted to lie down—after having a much-needed drink. She ignored the sign on the elevator door. It was in small print and official looking. Probably a notice that the landlord would be spraying for bugs or something. She spied the same notice on each tenant’s door as she fumbled with her keys. At last she let herself into her apartment and grabbed the notice, intending to look at it later.

  Dropping her flight bags outside the kitchen, she took a mini wine bottle out of the fridge. She glanced at the notice on her way to the living room and almost dropped the bottle of Chardonnay. An eviction notice?

  “Holy mother!”

  “I’m right behind you,” a woman said.

  That caused Amber to whirl around and repeat herself loudly.

  “I said, I’m right here!” The white-robed woman slapped her hands over her ears. She had long, thick, white hair. Her robe was belted with a vine of ivy.

  “Hey, aren’t you the woman from the bathroom? Brandee’s friend?”

  “Sheesh. Have a seat, girlie. We need to talk.”

  Amber hesitated. The woman wasn’t carrying a weapon, although something about her seemed ultimately threatening. As if to affirm the feeling, thunder rolled and the sky outside the window darkened. Amber stumbled backward and sat down hard on her beige linen sofa.

  “That’s better,” the woman said. “I’m aware you don’t know who I am, so I’ll introduce myself. I don’t have time for your disbelief, so save me the trouble and just go with it. Okay?”

  Amber nodded woodenly.

  “Good. The truth is, I’m Mother Nature. Those who know me call me either Goddess or Gaia. That’s my title and my name. You should begin by calling me Mother Nature just to drive the point home.”

  Amber heard herself say, “Okaaay,” in a little girl’s voice.

  “Here’s the good news. You won’t have to worry about that eviction notice. I have a job for you, and it won’t matter where you live. I know you’re getting disenchanted with your job as a flight attendant.”

  “How do you know that?”

  The woman smirked. “Really? I’m Mother freakin’ Nature. I know just about everything. If people were meant to fly, I’d have given them wings.” She cocked her head. “Why did you become a flight attendant anyway?”

  “I—uh. I wanted to see the world.”

  “You mean you wanted to meet a rich businessman and do a little traveling before you settled down. How’s that working out for you?”

  Her back went up. “He doesn’t have to be rich.”

  “But relationships with men in general aren’t working out. Right?”

  She sighed. “Not so much. Every guy I get close to assumes I’m cheating when I’m out of the country and eventually finds a ‘backup,’ or he’s just pissed because I’m not around much. And don’t even get me started on the pilots.”

  “So, how much of the world have you actually seen?”

  Amber grimaced. “Pretty much the same routes over and over again.”

  “So…nothing but the same foreign airports and hotels.”

  “You may have a point.”

  “Of course I have a point. I always have a point. I don’t chat with mortals for my health. Speaking of my health, spreading all that noxious jet fuel so close to my ozone layer is the most harmful thing you can possibly do to me. Did you know that?”

  “Um…not really. Is it?”

  “Sheesh. How dumb can you be? You blow a hole in my sunscreen, and you think I won’t get burned?”

  “I…I don’t really make those decisions.”

  Mother Nature—or whoever she was—rolled her eyes and sat down on the chair across from Amber. “Well, you may be able to make those decisions in the future. I want you to be my muse of air travel.”

  Amber’s brows shot up. “Huh? You’re offering me a job? As a…what?”

  Mother Nature sighed. “I knew you’d have a hard time believing all of this. I gave you a trusting nature but also let you develop some healthy skepticism. Look, I don’t have time for a lot of chitchat. I’m in desperate need of some modern muses. You’ve met one of them. Brandee is my muse of photography.”

  “I thought muses took care of poetry, dance, and other ancient arts.”

  The woman let out a groan. “Exactly. The original nine are useless in this modern age. I tried to get them to reeducate themselves in new areas, but it’s been a disaster. I can’t even get the muse of epic poetry to rap—or the muse of dance to crunk. And forget music videos! Technology is way beyond them, and I can’t wait any longer for my muses to catch up. Your world is growing too fast. Therefore, I’ve begun the task of finding a few modern muses. Any questions so far?”

  “Um, yeah. A few hundred…”

  “Well, hold your questions for the end. I’ll pair you with someone who’ll have the patience to answer them. In other words, not me.”

  Amber wanted to throw her hands in the air and say something sarcastic, but she still wasn’t sure how crazy this woman was—or she was, so she just waited.

  “Good. Let’s see now…” Gaia tapped her chin as if deep in thought. “I know. I’ll pair you with Brandee since you’ve already met and she’s the one who recommended you. That way if she doesn’t answer your questions thoroughly and you screw up, it’ll be all her fault.”

  This insulting woman was trying Amber’s patience. How could she get the woman out of her apartment? Playing along with her was getting old.

  “Why don’t you give me Brandee’s phone number? I’ll give her a call sometime.”

  Mother Nature frowned. “You still doubt me, glitter tits?”

  “What did you call me?”

  “Look down.”

  Amber was bare to the midriff and indeed her breasts were covered in glitter. She gasped and tried to cover herself with her hands.

  “Relax. I’ve seen them before. Heck, I made them.”

  Amber was struck dumb. If she protested, who knew what the woman…or goddess would do. “I—I…”

  “Mother Nature” waved her hand and Amber was wearing her uniform blouse again. Then the self-proclaimed deity shouted at the ceiling. “Brandee, I need you.”

  To Amber’s shock, the redheaded passenger from her latest flight appeared in her living room.

  “Yes, Gaia. How may I be of service?”

  “This is the woman you recommended for the muse of air travel, correct?”

  Brandee turned to Amber and offered a friendly smile. “Yes. I liked her immediately and thought she’d fit in with the others. As you know, I can sense people’s innate goodness and I’m a very good judge of character.”

  “Well, she needs to talk to someone like you or Bliss. One of my modern muses. She has questions, and I don’t have the time or patience to answer them.”

  “Understood,
” was all Brandee said.

  The woman looked relieved and smiled. “Thank you. As a reward for your help, I’ll send an influential customer to visit your gallery tomorrow.”

  Brandee grinned. “Thanks! We’re doing quite well, but I can always use more—”

  “Yeah, yeah.” Mother Nature disappeared into thin air and Amber let out the breath she’d been holding in a whoosh.

  “Where did she go?”

  Brandee shrugged. “Who knows? She likes to hang out in her office building on State Street, but she could be creating natural disasters like floods or earthquakes. You just never know with her.”

  “Is she really…”

  “Mother freakin’ Nature? Yeah, she is.” Brandee chuckled. “You probably pictured someone wearing rainbows as a halo and patting kittens, didn’t you?”

  “Well, no, but I didn’t think…”

  Brandee sat next to her and lowered her voice. “You didn’t expect a sarcastic crone with the patience of a gnat, am I right?”

  Amber chuckled. “Well, no.”

  “You’ll get used to her. You should meet my friend Bliss.”

  “She mentioned something about a person named Bliss.”

  “Yeah. She’s rather famous among us muses, having been the only one gutsy enough to refuse Mother Nature’s generous offer.”

  “Generous offer? I never received any offer sounding remotely generous.”

  “Really? Huh. I guess you didn’t get that far. Gaia never expects her muses to work for nothing. She rewards us handsomely—usually with our greatest desire. But Bliss…” Brandee shook her head and sighed. “She stood up to Gaia and said no, even with a money tree growing right in the middle of her man’s living room.”

  “Her man, huh?” Amber mumbled.

  “Ah!” Brandee said. “Could that be what you want? A boyfriend?”

  Amber snorted. “No. I’ve had plenty of boyfriends. What I’d like is a stable guy who won’t cheat on me. I don’t seem to be having much luck finding one of those.”

  Brandee set a sympathetic hand on Amber’s shoulder. “We’ve all had our share of failed romances. If it isn’t one thing, it’s another, but both Bliss and I are now ‘blissfully’ happy, if you’ll pardon the pun. So, if what you want is a wonderful, faithful man to love, marry, or live with, I’ll mention that to the goddess.”

  “No! Oh no. Don’t do that yet. I think I’m leaning more toward Bliss’s reaction than yours.”

  Brandee raised her eyebrows. Then she smiled and seemed to relax. “You know what might be a good idea? If we include Bliss in this conversation.”

  “Ugh. Please don’t. I can’t stand any more people popping into my living room. I’m quite convinced I’m losing my mind as it is.”

  “Oh. Sorry. I forgot what it was like in the beginning. Of course your head is probably spinning. It’s natural to doubt your own eyes and sanity. Why don’t I give you my address on Beacon Hill? Let the dust settle and meet me there tomorrow. I’ll ask Bliss to stop by, if you actually show.”

  “If I say I’ll be there, I’ll be there. Unlike some people, I can be counted on to keep my word.”

  Brandee winked. “I knew I liked you for a reason. Here’s my gallery.” She held out an empty hand, and then a business card appeared.

  “Whoa. Neat trick.”

  “I’m not a magician. I’m a minor goddess. Take the card and turn it over.”

  Amber did as she was told. Brandee pointed to the card and a different address appeared on the blank side. “That’s my home address and phone number on Mount Vernon Street.”

  “Fancy.”

  “We like it. Come by at noon. I take a lunch hour at home to feed the baby. Although I’ll be meeting an important client tomorrow, and I don’t know the time yet.” She waved away the thought. “If I’m late, my husband will let you in.”

  “Are you sure? I mean, Mother Nature mentioned someone influential kind of offhandedly. Do you think it’ll really happen?”

  “She keeps her word too. Well, except when she’s bellowing empty threats. Then we’re just as happy she doesn’t.” Brandee smirked. “Well, toodles. I’m going to meet my family for lunch and will leave you to doubt your sanity for another twenty-four hours.”

  And with that, she disappeared.

  Amber was doubting her sanity. Just out of curiosity, she peeked down the front of her blouse. “Yup. Covered in glitter. I’ll be damned.”

  Chapter 2

  Hours later Rory and Chloe finally returned to the cave, wearing warm, puffy coats. They were chatting and chuckling as if nothing in the world was bothering them. Chloe carried a big tote bag filled with purchases, and Rory held newspapers and kindling.

  Shannon’s face was red and her expression livid. Then, as if she flicked a switch, she greeted them with a toothy smile. “Oh, did you have a nice time out there?” she asked with syrupy sweetness.

  “It wasn’t too bad,” Rory said, carefully.

  His youngest sister marched over to him, ripped the newspaper and logs out of his hands, and tossed them into the fire pit she had made with lava rocks.

  Just as she ignited the paper with her breath, Chloe yelled, “Stop! That was our newspaper. We needed that to find jobs and such.”

  Shannon’s jaw dropped. “Why didn’t you say something?”

  Rory started laughing. Chloe had been leaning forward, probably to look menacing, then she reared back and burst out laughing too.

  Shannon glared at them. “What’s gotten into you? You’re laughin’ like hyenas.”

  Rory wiped the tears forming at the corners of his eyes and wrestled his mirth under control. “The newspaper was useless. It’s in Icelandic and every word is at least eleven letters long. We can’t read any of it.”

  Shannon glared at her sister again. “Then why did you get upset?”

  Now Chloe was wiping her eyes and trying to quit laughing—unsuccessfully.

  “Oh, very funny.” Shannon folded her arms and mocked the two of them. “Let’s make our dear sister, who’s been keepin’ this bloody cave warm all day, think she’s done somethin’ terribly wrong when she hasn’t a’tall. How entertainin’ would that be?”

  Chloe nodded. “Pretty entertainin’.” Then the two older siblings burst out laughing again.

  Shannon strode outside the cave before she lost it and pummeled the two of them into kindling.

  Rory came after her, carrying her parka and still chuckling. “We’re sorry, Shannon.”

  “No, you’re not.”

  Chloe followed. “Okay, we’re not terribly sorry, but you should have seen your face.”

  Shannon shrugged into her new coat. “I’ve had about enough of you two. How can you laugh when we’re stuck in a land where we don’t know a soul and can’t even speak the language? Just how are we supposed to survive?”

  Rory tugged on his jacket pocket. “Not to worry. I traded our boat for some magic beans.”

  Chloe cracked up all over again.

  “Knock it off!” Shannon yelled.

  “Relax, Shannon.” Rory took his sister by the shoulders and turned her back toward the cave. As they walked together, he explained. “We were late gettin’ back because we sold some of the priceless antiquities that were on the boat. We found someone who spoke English, and he helped us. We were very fortunate. He gave us the name of a visiting billionaire whose appetite for rare antiques might turn our treasures into quite a pile of cash.”

  “Then all we need to do is convert it into American dollars,” Chloe said. “The best part is that the man has a yacht and will have his crew take us to Boston.”

  “Boston? What’s in Boston?” she asked.

  “Apparently, a large Irish population,” Chloe said. “We can blend in. Plus we can speak, read, and write English. If we can’t get back to Irel
and, it’s not a bad place to be.”

  “But we must get back home,” Shannon insisted.

  Rory balled his fists. “We will someday—when the leprechauns discover their mistake.”

  “Since when have you known leprechauns to admit they made a mistake?” Shannon pointed out.

  “One thing at a time,” Chloe said. “First we need a decent place to live. Then we can worry about gettin’ back into the little shites’ good graces.”

  “Before that, I need to call Finn.”

  “Uh. We tried callin’ the pub for you,” Rory said. “Somehow we’ve been blocked from even making phone calls to Ireland.”

  “But we’ll keep tryin’,” Chloe said. “Let’s go check into a hotel, and we can try to email from there.”

  Shannon fell silent.

  There really wasn’t anything more to say. With magic keeping them out of Ireland, the dragons’ best hope was to find a decent place to operate from and to change the minds of those who cast the spells. If that place was Boston, then they needed to reach their temporary home quickly. Rory and his sister would come up with plans for revenge on the way. He was already thinking of a few ideas.

  * * *

  “I must be out of my mind,” Amber muttered.

  A second before she rang Brandee’s doorbell, a tall, good-looking blond man opened the door. “You must be Amber,” he said in a whisper.

  “Uh, yeah.”

  “Sorry. I’m trying not to wake the baby.” He stuck his hand out. “Nick Wolfensen, Brandee’s other half.”

  She shook his hand. “Is Brandee around?”

  “She asked me to give you a message. She said the client she told you about just arrived and she won’t be able to leave the gallery for a while, but Bliss is expecting you at the Boston Uncommon Tearoom on Charles Street.”

  “Oh. Bliss is there now?”

  “Yes. Her best friend owns the place. They’re probably gabbing away.”

  “I see. So if I walk back down the hill to Charles Street, is it a left or…”

  “Go right. There’s a big teapot hanging from the sign. You can’t miss it. Oh! But before you go…” He retrieved a business card and handed it to her. “She wanted you to have this.”