Godforsaken: Book 1 (Shade of Light)

by Suren Hakobyan

  Lily knew that the monk didn’t believe in Samael’s feelings, but he didn’t know the gray-winged creature’s soul. Lily believed that Samael was still one of God’s servants. He hadn’t let Heaven fall, he had saved Eve’s line, and he hadn’t allowed Lucifer near its female heir. Maybe he had done monstrous things once, but now he was different, at least to Lily.

  She peeked around. Succubus had already left Samael. Then Lily looked in the same direction as Raphael. There in the middle of the tribune to Lily’s right sat an unusual woman. Regardless of the distance Lily couldn’t help but stare.

  “Who’s she?” Lily asked Raphael, pointing to the tribune.

  “That is Lilith,” the monk muttered vigorously.

  “Didn’t she die?”

  “No. She was ready to do everything to avoid death. She managed to convince Lucifer to keep her alive, and he made her a queen in the world of the dead.” His words sounded mystical and terrifying.

  “What is the world of the dead?” Lily knew only Heaven and Hell.

  “A name for Hell,” Raphael explained.

  “Let’s go,” Samael interrupted dryly.

  Without looking at them, as he could see neither Lily, nor Raphael, he made his way toward the opposite platform. They had to pass through a maddened crowd.

  The aisle was narrow, and from time to time Lily thought that she could catch on somebody. Walking along this way was like passing through hell itself. At first she studied the people on the platforms. There she saw faces that she thought she would never forget. Half of one man’s face was completely torn away, blood was dried on the other half and on the remaining pieces of his skull. His less damaged eye met Lily’s, and she averted hers promptly from his mangled face. Looking down she tried to steady her breathing, then raised her eyes. There was a peculiar girl of about eight years old, with big brown eyes and long frizzy black hair. Many men would someday dream about her sunburnt skin, tight breasts and plump lips. She held the hand of a woman who might have been her mother. The girl stared at Samael eagerly, winked at him and licked her lips provocatively. When Samael didn’t pay attention to her, she faced the woman next to her and bent forward. The woman smiled wickedly and brought her long tongue out of her mouth. The girl’s eyes widened, her eyebrows raised, and she closed her lips around the woman’s tongue, sucking it deep into her mouth.

  Lily rubbed her eyes and looked again, hoping that she would wake up in her bed to find that the hideous prison Dudael was just a nightmare. Of course nothing changed, this crowd heaping with monsters was more real than even her bed. She glanced back at Raphael desperately, looking for salvation.

  “Why does God let this go on?” she asked.

  “This place is out of God’s sight,” Raphael replied, sighing. “Father can’t see everything, Lily. Some places are left for his sons to rule.”

  “You’re one of his sons, why do you let this continue?” she pointed around, a tear streaming out of her eye. “You could stop it, but–”

  “I choose not to,” Raphael finished instead of her. “The people, you see here, must be punished.”

  “Nobody deserves such punishment. There are a lot cruel and bad people on Earth, why aren’t they here?” Lily cried out disapprovingly.

  “Those people haven’t sold their soul for immortality. Besides, this is an ideal place for a lot of creatures to satisfy their human needs. Of course there are a lot of them on Earth who carry on in the same way, but with this prison, we can decrease that quantity.”

  “This isn’t a prison, this is a big brothel,” Lily remarked fiercely.

  Samael continued walking purposefully two steps ahead of them. Some girls and women stared at him with passionate looks, winked at him, and beckoned him to them, but several recognized the angel of death. They bowed to him. Lily thought that they must be old prisoners, because as Succubus had said, Samael hadn’t visited Dudael in a long time.

  They were opposite Lilith, who was across the arena. She was on her throne like a queen watching a battle, her black eyes remorseless. Her straight black hair reached to her waist. Her tight breasts were covered with a black leather bra – it was the only clothing she wore except her lacquered leather shorts. Two floodlights illuminated her fetching white skin and long crossed legs.

  Lilith was idyllically beautiful. Lily wondered then who was more beautiful, Succubus or Lilith.

  “What are all these men thinking, risking their life for a night with Lilith?” Lily asked sounding surprised.

  “Being immortal, it’s easy to lose some feelings like fear, love, honor,” Raphael said. “In the prison, sexual games take first place. Having the queen of Hell is a very high prize, and builds quite a reputation in the unearthly world.”

  “Did Samael fight for her?” Lily wondered hastily. “Did he have her?”

  “Samael’s sharp sword sent a lot of brave spirits to Dead Island for Lilith’s favors,” Raphael confessed reluctantly. Lily’s eyes froze on Lilith, in her mind’s eye imagining a wicked Samael tearing maniacally at the fools who had dared to fight him.

  “My brother wasn’t as kind to any human he met before you,” Raphael went on. “The Samael you know now is different than he was, even I can’t understand him sometimes.”

  Lily was listening to him, but her gaze was on Lilith. The emotionless queen spotted Samael walking along the pathway on the opposite platform. She bent forward, her full attention on the gray-winged man, her eyes widened in surprise and her eyebrows raised. Lily looked at Samael and noticed him desperately staring at Lilith too.

  “She recognized him,” Raphael had noticed their eye contact too. “I wonder what they’re both recalling now. Samael was the undisputed champion of this arena. I believe there are a lot of creatures longing for revenge.”

  Lily kept her silence. Her soul darkened, listening to Raphael talk about Samael. But the keeper of Eden had told her he had been a devil once, and that she had fallen for wrong person. Despite that, she knew that you cannot force yourself to fall for someone, it was something that happened of its own accord.

  The battle was still raging when they crossed the platform. Lily had already seen enough to give herself nightmares for years to come. Lilith watched them with her cold eyes the entire way. For a moment, Lily was happy that she was invisible, and didn’t have to meet Lilith’s monstrous eyes. Samael lead them into a corridor, similar to the ones inside the mazes they had come from earlier.

  “Oh no!” escaped Lily’s mouth as she found herself between the sandy walls again.

  But this corridor was shorter and more illuminated. There was a black door at the end, and as they approached it, Lily caught a glimpse of a picture on it – a huge man wearing a long cloak and sitting on a throne. Two snakes were on both shoulders, as if they were crawling out behind the throne. Lily didn’t have much time to examine it carefully as Samael opened the door with a wave, not even touching it.

  A large room opened behind the door – a king’s chamber like the kind Lily had seen in historical movies. The ceiling was very high, and it had a battle painted upon it. There were two winged creatures in the picture, fighting against each other. The one with blonde hair and cold eyes was definitely Michael, but the other creature was unfamiliar to Lily. He had long black hair which shaded his face.

  The room was less illuminated, leaving many things unseen under the shadow of the high walls, but a large bed toward the back of the chamber couldn’t be missed by any means. Samael swiftly made his way toward the bed, Lily and Raphael had no choice but to follow him. The chamber was clean and even felt comfortable, and if she couldn’t hear the moans of a woman, Lily would almost like the place.

  There were no windows in the stony walls, but Lily saw many pictures in her peripheral vision. The marble floor was like a chess board – checkered in black and white – and Samael’s footsteps echoed off it.

  The door closed behind them with a thunderous noise. The moaning woman trailed off immediately, most likely str
aining her ears for the intruders. Samael didn’t stop, didn’t even glance back, as his eyes were staring straight ahead. And then Lily spotted movement. A shape sat up, and in the same instant another shape followed, putting its arms on the first person’s shoulder. The first person was a man who stood up lazily and, picking up his trousers, made his way to meet Samael. The other one was a woman. She slid out of the bed, straightened her hair back and strode after him. She didn’t bother to put something on, and soon enough her naked body appeared in front of Lily. Her breasts were swaying to and fro.

  “Samael?” the man burst out, surprised.

  Now Lily saw his big black eyes full of confusion from meeting the angel of death in his chamber. This man would undoubtedly be Azazel. Lily’s eyes studied him from head to hip. He was broad-shouldered, hairy-chested and large-muscled, with an arrogant stance. He was naked, and Lily couldn’t help sneaking a glance at his large erection. Samael didn’t reply, but only glared at the bewildered Azazel. The woman halted a step behind Azazel as she heard the gray-winged angel’s name.

  “What the fuck are you doing here? You shouldn’t be here,” Azazel went on accusingly. “Who let you in?”

  Samael eyed the woman, who was frozen in place. “Get out of here,” he ordered crossly.

  At first the woman flinched, not knowing what to do, then Azazel nodded in approval, and she rushed out of the room.

  As the door shut Azazel came to his senses, and he raised his right leg lazily to put his trousers on.

  “What is the reason for your visit?” he asked while dressing. “Don’t tell me that you missed my world, and have come to ask me for a little fun like the old days.”

  “You’d like to call your prison your world, wouldn’t you?” Samael teased. His lips curled into a thin sarcastic smile.

  “Whatever it is, it’s a place where you don’t belong anymore, Angel of Death,” Azazel hissed wickedly. “This place I created for myself, and what have you done? I heard the garden hasn’t changed. You haven’t altered a single stone in the garden since it was passed to you.”

  Samael kept glaring at him, his mouth shut. Lily wondered what he was thinking about, what he had intended.

  Azazel chortled and made his way towards the wall on Lily’s right. There was a board like counter there. He picked up a sumptuous bottle, one of many, and offered it to Samael.

  “Drink?”

  “Yes.” To Lily’s surprise, Samael agreed calmly.

  Azazel poured two glasses. Lily followed him, then she peered back at Raphael, who was looking at the situation as if he was watching a thriller movie.

  “Can Azazel feel us too?” she asked worriedly.

  “I’m doing my utmost to prevent it,” Raphael murmured.

  Azazel’s came up to Samael, handed the glass to him gently, and then took a sip. Samael brought the glass to his mouth, smelled the drink, and took a sip as well.

  “What can I do for you Samael?” Azazel broke the silence again, his voice strangely composed. “What do you need?”

  “You were in Eden, Azazel,” Samael spoke. “You saw Lucifer falling in love with Eve.”

  “Yeah, I was watching him,” Azazel confirmed dryly. He tightened his lips. “I heard Eve’s heir is still alive. You know, I slashed the head of that fellow who brought the news to me. Lying about the great Samael is a big mistake, even if he’s not my brother anymore. He is still respected, after all. But then I pondered over it. What if you missed someone from Efran’s family, but–”

  “You–” Samael opened his mouth, but Azazel interrupted him, jabbing his finger against him.

  “I know,” he went on, “that you never miss.” He trailed off with enlarged eyes, staring at Samael maliciously. Then he allowed himself a grin. “Why did you do that, Samael? Why didn’t you just kill Efran’s entire family instead of saving one? Why endure a life in exile because of nothing? You knew that one day a female heir would crop up, but nevertheless you let the line continue,” Azazel sighed. “Why did you let Lucifer fall if you left a glimpse of a chance for him to rise again?”

  “You know that the war was lost that time. And don’t even try to fool me, I know you knew it,” Samael said confidently. “The love Lucifer had, the power he bore, neither was enough against the wrath of Michael.”

  “No, my friend,” Azazel disagreed. “You merely didn’t want Heaven to fall that day. The game was going to be over soon, but you, like a child, wanted to play on.” He shook his head. Samael gazed at him, his eyes narrowed and plaintive. He didn’t even try to protest. “Yeah, you took the right side at the right time,” Azazel grumbled sarcastically. “I don’t blame you, I should’ve realized the way the wind was blowing too, but I stayed on Lucifer’s side anyway.” He took a sip, glanced around, then came up to Samael. Standing in front of him, Lily saw that Azazel was a head taller. “It was only a matter of time until Lucifer gathered all his power back. You obviously predicted that. But even knowing that, you preferred to set him up.”

  “I never gave him my word to be his obedient servant,” Samael protested at last, blowing out an exasperated breath. “I helped him to enter Heaven, as he asked of me. It was his job to destroy it.”

  “But apparently you missed something at that time, didn’t you? You must have, otherwise, why have you come here?”

  “I need some answers,” Samael drained his glass, lifting it up to show its emptiness to his companion. Azazel nodded, and Samael made his way toward the bar to fill his glass anew. “You saw Lucifer loving Eve, you saw his first achievements, you watched him in the garden.” His glass filled with something red that might have been wine in the right light. “It was you who convinced me that Lucifer had power like God’s, wasn’t it?”

  “You saw his underworld too,” Azazel smiled, remembering the old times.

  He took a sip and lifted his glass. Samael picked the bottle up and approached him.

  “Don’t you ever wonder?” Samael asked, filling Azazel’s glass.

  “I guess I didn’t,” he said turning back to Samael. “At that time, I just needed somebody else to believe in. I needed changes, you see? Lucifer made them, he could give you freedom. The light he created was as bright as the sun, but much warmer.” Azazel sighed. He was lost in thought for some seconds, then glanced at Samael over his shoulder. “You needed freedom too, as you rushed down after your eldest brother at once. But you’re the youngest, and Father forgave you.”

  “You know that I’m not forgiven.”

  “Look at me and tell me, Samael,” Azazel snarled through clenched teeth. “Which one of us is punished, you or me?”

  Samael made a step forward, frowned at Azazel. “Do you think I like roaming over tiresome Earth like a homeless tramp? With no way to Heaven and no way to Hell? We’re both outcasts, Azazel. Unlike me, you can do everything you want in here, but I have to follow the rules your lord Lucifer and our God signed in the Torah. You think I’m free? I’m as much a prisoner as you, Azazel.”

  Samael tilted his head and dropped his eyes to the glass.

  “You know that by destroying this world we can’t create a new one. That time, Lucifer wasn’t ready to capture the throne yet, because of his love for Eve,” Samael put in. “He longed for revenge.”

  Quiet fell as Samael trailed off. Then he took a step back, glanced in the direction where Lily and Raphael stood, and took a sip.

  “What do you need, Samael?” Azazel broke the silence, sounding sharp. “Give me your question.”

  “What does Lucifer need from Eve’s heir? How does possessing the garden which once was yours affect the oncoming war?” Samael asked tonelessly. “I know that everything started there, but what can be finished there?”

  Azazel chortled. “You’re a fool, Samael,” he laughed sincerely. “You’ve been ruling Eden for more than two thousand years and you’re still not aware of its destination. It’s really amazing.”

  “What kind of destination are you talking about?” Samael cried out
boldly.

  “When Lucifer made a deal with Father he had two choices – first, to live his life with Eve until she died, second, to have her female heir and take the garden back. The garden was the start of the system, Samael, he couldn’t lose it. The garden opens a lot of different roads. The garden is the first place where we understood life and conceived of freedom,” Azazel announced solemnly. “The garden hides the most powerful secrets of the system.”

  “Where did it start?” Samael asked tonelessly.

  “What?”

  “The beginning. Where did Lucifer feel the change?”

  “Didn’t he ever tell you?” Azazel sounded surprised. He smiled wickedly. “There, where the first rays of sun hit the glade, life began.”

  Samael’s eyes became magnified, and though he tried to hide his feelings, Lily saw satisfaction and victory in his green eyes.

  “What does it mean, Raphael?” she asked the monk.

  “I don’t know,” Raphael seemed confused. His head was tilted, staring at the floor. “I think we need to get out of here immediately. I have to try to figure everything out.”

  “You can’t leave me here alone,” Lily reminded him forcefully.

  “I’ll take you with me–”

  “I won’t leave Samael alone,” Lily insisted. “What about him?”

  “He–” Raphael scowled at the gray-winged angel irritably and his mouth remained opened, as though the monk had forgotten his words.

  “He was standing on the top of a rock looking down flabbergasted,” Azazel went on. “It was the first time in my existence I had ever seen such an expression. His eyes were no longer empty. Being just an angel, I didn’t realize what was going to happen. Who would dare to come in contact with an archangel, after all.”

  “To begin with, the garden is the ultimate symbol of life. The first human took his first breath there. You were born later and didn’t see the bustle when the garden was made. At least, we all liked it, except him. Lucifer always thought there was something missing there.”

  “What? What was missing?”

  “I don’t know,” Azazel replied candidly. “Ask your brother – Michael.” He arched his eyebrows as he mentioned the archangel’s name. “By the way, has he forgiven you, Samael? He should have, as you delivered unto him the victory against Lucifer and made him famous.”