My mom is dead. My dad is dead. My grandparents are coming to town. Dad was gay? What is grandma going to say? And granddad?
Jonathan’s mind was racing. He just couldn’t make all the pieces fit together. And who was this Rick Johnsson? If his father had really been gay, why would he beat him? Why would he not have accepted Jonathan for who he was? It just didn’t make any sense.
After walking with no sense of direction for a couple of hours, Jonathan’s phone buzzed with a text from Dan. I love you! Call me if you need me. Dan
A small smile spread across Jonathan’s face, happy that he had his partner’s support.
Love you, too. Walking. Thinking. TTYL Jon
For the first time since he’d known Dan, he used the name Jon. The affectionate term that Dan used for him ever since they’d first met. It made Jonathan feel as if he belonged to Dan, a symbol of what they shared.
After having pressed the send button, Jonathan put the phone back in his pocket and looked up, trying to get his bearings, see where he was.
This is Mary’s street! Jonathan was surprised that he’d walked all the way out into the suburbs. He’d walked all the way out to his best friend’s street. Well, maybe my subconscious is trying to tell me something...
Knowing his way, he quickly approached the house where Mary lived. He found the courage to knock on the door.
Mary’s mother answered his call. “Jonathan? Oh my god, is that really you? Come in, boy!” She ushered him into the house, hugging him. “We’ve been so worried about you. When you disappeared from school, we feared the worst. And then your mother, the news...” she trailed.
“It’s okay, Mrs. Taylor. I’m fine. Is Mary in?” Jonathan didn’t really want to talk to Mrs. Taylor. After all, she and her stupid husband had been the ones who brought all this upon him in the first place. Maybe, if they’d just shut their mouths, he would still have his mother and father alive. He’d still be regularly beaten, but at least his parents would still be alive.
But no Dan.
All of a sudden, his entire view of things changed. His hard stance towards Mrs. Taylor softened.
“Yes, dear, she’s upstairs. Go right up. I’ll make you some lemonade and bring you cookies.” She pointed upstairs and walked off, leaving Jonathan alone for the first time in their house. He quickly climbed the stairs, feeling oddly out of place all by himself in Mary’s house. When he got to her room, he saw her sitting at her desk, apparently deeply engaged talking to someone over the web. Trying not to startle her, he knocked on the open door.
Mary turned around, and upon seeing him, realizing who he was, flew to the door, crushing him in a hug as if they hadn’t seen each other in a thousand years. “Jonathan, Jonathan, is that really you? What are you doing here?”
“Let go, girl, you’re crushing me. You’re worse than Dan!” Jonathan laughed, relieved that his friend bore him no ill will, even though he hadn’t been in touch with her in all the time he’d been back in the city. Jonathan assumed that she knew he was back, given that his story had been all over the tabloids for weeks.
“Mr. Kendall told me you were back, and I, uh, saw the articles. Who’s Dan? Is he your boyfriend?” she asked, no malice in her voice, just a curious question from a loved one.
“Yeah, he is. It’s a long story. Do you have time to talk?” Jonathan asked, extracting himself from Mary’s arms. Moving into her bedroom, he dropped onto her bed, just as he’d done a million times when they were in school.
Mary joined him and Jonathan told his story.
They were interrupted a couple of times, first when Mary’s mother knocked on the closed door, when did that happen, bringing them cookies and lemonade, and a second time when she asked if they needed anything and if Jonathan would stay for dinner. Jonathan didn’t respond right away. He said he needed to think about it.
“Call Dan, please? Invite him over. He’s probably worried sick anyway,” Mary begged, curious about the man who had won her best friend’s heart. She was happy she had him back on her bed, talking and sharing memories, like they always had. “I’m just so glad that you’re back. You have no idea how worried I was. I blamed myself for my father’s stupid phone call. Can you ever forgive me?” she pleaded, tears in her brown eyes.
Jonathan put an arm around her. “Don’t worry. This was definitely not your fault. If anything, maybe this was a good thing after all. I was thinking on my way over here today, trying to make sense of these past months, and maybe it was all about me getting a shot at life, at happiness, meeting Dan and all. I don’t know. I do know that I can’t change what has happened. All we can do is make the best of the cards we’re dealt, you know?”
“I still can’t believe that you’re really back. Will I see more of you now?” Mary’s voice was laced with trepidation, afraid she might lose her friend again as quickly as he had come back into her room.
“Definitely.” Jonathan smiled, planting a peck on her cheek. “Are you sure it’s okay if Dan joins us?” he said with a sheepish smile on his face. He had never introduced Dan to anyone from his circles. He hadn’t had the chance. If anyone would understand and accept his choice, it would be Mary. He had to start somewhere.
So he called his lover, lying on the bed right next to Mary, and explained what he had done, where he had ended up, and the invitation for dinner. Dan accepted, saying he would be there by six thirty.
Back in town, Dan hung up the phone, and looked over to Parker. “Well, it seems I’m going to meet Jon’s best friend and her family tonight! I guess that’s as close as I’ll ever come to meeting my in-laws.” Dan wasn’t sure if he’d just made a lame joke or if he was just nervous. Nervous of the scrutiny he would face, the look on Mary’s parents’ face when they met Jonathan’s boyfriend, or how he would react to being face to face with the girl that had inadvertently caused Jonathan’s long journey out to his forest cabin. One thing was certain, he was grateful that it had ended on his doorstep.
Dan and Parker made little progress in their research that afternoon. The editor of a local newspaper had never heard of any Rick Johnsson and none of their paper was available online.
Parker put out a request with the local Police Department to see if anything could be learned, but he didn’t expect any information in the next forty-eight hours. Sensing they were done for the day, Dan drove back to the condo after buying some chocolates to bring to dinner, unsure if wine would have been appropriate. After all, he had no idea what to expect, and Jonathan was of little help.
The clock on Dan’s phone struck six thirty when he got out of his car and walked up to the house. He knocked on the door and waited. From the inside, he heard laughter and talking. The door opened and a young woman with big brown eyes, and long dark hair, more or less threw herself at him, launching her arms at him. “You must be Dan! Jonathan has told me everything,” Mary said, leaving Dan wondering if he needed to have a word with Jonathan about what exactly he had shared with his best friend. “Come in, we’ve been expecting you!” She shoved Dan into the house, almost pushing him into the living room where Jonathan had gotten up from the couch to greet him. Mary’s father was also there, extending a hand in greeting.
“Daniel? It’s a pleasure to meet you. Jonathan just told us about you. Seems we all owe you a debt of gratitude,” the man said and looked slightly awkward with the situation. Mary’s mother walked in from the kitchen with a large casserole in her hands. She smiled, put it on the dining room table, and then walked over to greet Dan. Like her daughter, she had big brown eyes, and long dark hair. Also like her daughter, she was a very physical being, foregoing the handshake and opting for a hug instead. “Daniel, welcome to our home. It’s such a pleasure to finally meet the man who saved Jonathan’s life. You have no idea how much we have been worried about the boy. Come in, come in. Mary, please take Dan’s jacket, and let’s sit down. Dinner is ready.”
Jonathan finally got a chance to greet Dan with a small, gentle peck on his cheek, a sque
eze of his hand and a look of “I owe you one!” Instead, he said, “I’m glad you’re here. Don’t worry, I’m fine!”
Dan almost forgot to hand over the small gift that he had brought along. Mary’s mother was all smiles about what a thoughtful young man he was. I’ll take it as a compliment, Dan thought, wondering about how old Mary’s parents were, and whether they had given any thought to his age. Seeing Jonathan with his best friend, Dan noticed how her behavior was so much more juvenile than Jonathan’s. It made him wonder about him and Jon, whether they really stood a chance, or whether the thirteen years separating them would become a problem, sooner rather than later. He thought of Parker and Dennis, and how their friends seemed to have overcome much larger odds. Dennis was more than twenty years older than Parker and they were still happily in love.
Mary’s dad looked at Dan throughout dinner. There was some suspicion in his eyes, but he was kind, and maybe Dan was just being paranoid. Dan tried to focus on Jonathan, watched him talk to his friend, her parents, and watched their interaction. Although he had never been a part of this interaction before, he noticed that Mary’s parents seemed to be exchanging looks of appreciation every now and then.
“You’ve matured,” Mary’s dad finally said. “I guess that’s to be expected after what you’ve been through.”
“May I ask what you’re going to do now? Is the trial still going forward?” Mary’s mom asked as she came back from the kitchen with dessert.
“No, the district attorney apparently cancelled it. With my dad gone, there’s no reason to continue. He already confessed and since they can’t put him away, it makes no sense,” Jonathan said evenly. “As for us, we don’t really know, do we, hon?” He looked over to Dan, hoping his lover would fill in the blanks, lead the way forward.
“Well, tomorrow morning, Jon’s grandparents arrive. That’ll keep us busy for a while. Then there’s the funeral to plan. Seems Jon’s dad had specific plans for that. Then, once this is all over, and once Jon’s out of school, we really don’t know. I mean, it depends a bit on where Jon wants to go to college, what he wants to do. I’m flexible. I can do my writing anywhere, as long as I’m close to him...” Dan trailed, blushing, feeling as if he were once again a teenager, interrogated by the parents of a guy he was dating.
Dan had never really been close to his parents. They lived on the east coast, living their own lives. His family just wasn’t very affectionate. They never hugged, and he couldn’t remember his father or mother ever telling him they loved him. When he came out, his father barely lowered his paper, as if contemplating the news, then continued to read the financial section. His mother just looked at him, opened her mouth as if searching for what to say, then thought better of it. That was it. When Dan graduated from college, he had never even returned home, only sending his parents cards for Christmas and calling them on their birthdays. They were awkward, very short calls. They never called or wrote to him. They might as well be dead, for all I care.
They visited for a little longer, but Dan was eager to get back to the condo to get some rest, afraid what the next morning would bring. They left Mary’s house just before ten, and by the time they got back to their apartment, Jon had fallen asleep in the car. Dan had to wake him and lead him upstairs. Once inside their bedroom, Jon got undressed and dropped into bed, asleep before his head hit the pillow. Poor baby, must’ve been quite a day...
Chapter 23
THE FLIGHT ARRIVED right on time. Jonathan was a nervous wreck. He hadn’t seen his grandparents in years, and had absolutely no idea what to expect. Parker joined them at the airport, as he had been the one to talk to the Bates for the past weeks.
Jonathan tried to remember the last time his family had been out west to visit his grandparents. The trip was awkward. He remembered that his father had not been very close to his parents, and they looked at him and his mother as if they were some kind of aliens intruding on their farm, their lives. He’d been happy to leave, although the time on the farm was free of beatings and abuse, and his grandparents had been very kind and loving to him. There was something in the air though. Something had seemed off. As a boy, Jonathan had been unable to put words to it, but every visit to his grandparents almost left him wanting for the beatings at home, rather than the strange atmosphere at his grandparents’.
They were waiting outside the baggage claim area. There was no way to see inside, so they stood at the door, waiting. There was a constant stream of people coming from within, and the board indicated that the luggage of their flight was being unloaded. Jonathan was nervous. He held Dan’s hand, and picked at the nails of his other hand. Parker was pacing, Dan was panting. All three men were nervous. When the doors finally opened and Jonathan recognized his grandmother, he almost lost his courage, almost turned on his heel and ran off. She had already spotted him, and was walking towards him.
“Jonathan, dear, how are you? Don’t you worry about anything now, Grandma’s here. Everything will be fine,” she said, tears in her eyes. Behind her, Jonathan’s grandfather seemed small. He had aged considerably since Jonathan had last seen him, and could hardly carry their large suitcase. Dan immediately walked over and offered to take it. The old man awarded him with a weary look, but released his hold of the suitcase to Dan. Parker approached, hand stretched out. “Mr. and Mrs. Bates? Welcome! My name is Parker Jones, I’m Jonathan’s attorney. We have spoken on the phone. Did you have a good flight?” Parker’s voice was soothing, determined, no nonsense. Jonathan appreciated him for that. The professionalism took some of the edge off the awkward situation. Jonathan was acutely aware that no one had introduced Dan, but he didn’t really know what to say, instead giving Dan a look. It worked. Dan stretched out a hand to Jonathan’s granddad. “My name is Dan Jackson. Welcome.” Then he offered his hand to Jonathan’s grandmother, but she didn’t take it.
That’s a start, Jonathan thought, worried.
The drive into the city in Parker’s car was weird. Jonathan felt very uncomfortable in his skin, sitting between his grandparents in the back seat. Too tall for the cramped space, his head hit against the roof of the car, while Dan and Parker sat in the front.
Parker was the first one to speak. “We have arranged for a hotel room for you at the Empire. You will be comfortable there. Do you know how long you’re staying?”
Jonathan’s grandmother was surprised. “The Empire? Why can’t we stay at our son’s house? With Jonathan?” she asked.
“Grandma, I’m not living at the house. In fact, I haven’t been back there since...” Jonathan couldn’t finish the sentence when he realized what he had said. The fact that he had never once been back to his room, in all those months was a shock even to him. He hadn’t even thought about it. It seemed like a life he had lived a long time ago, as if it had been someone else’s life altogether.
“Mrs. Bates,” Parker came to the rescue, “the house is still sealed by the police. No one has access, and I would presume it will be a few more days before the investigation is officially closed.”
“But, Johnny, where do you live then?” his grandmother asked, using a name that Jonathan never really liked. Dan chuckled from the front seat. “Johnny?”
This obviously wasn’t appreciated by Jonathan’s grandma. “And just who are you, Mr. Jackson?” Her words were ice cold, piercing the air. Dan felt the sharpness of her words as if he had just been whipped.
“I live with Dan. We have a condo in the city.” Jonathan came to his rescue. “Dan saved my life out there in the forest.” For now, he felt it was best to leave out the rest of the story. He had a hunch that his grandparents would not be any happier about him being gay than his father was. Was Dad really gay?
The rest of the trip was spent in silence, but Jonathan felt his grandmother’s eyes on him the entire time. The woman was measuring him up, trying to make sense of her grandson.
Parker checked them in at the Empire, into a suite similar to the one that Dan and Jonathan had used when they first
arrived in the city, and all of them went upstairs to make sure the Bates were settled in. Grandma Bates complained about the modern architecture and the furniture, saying she would rather spend the night at her son’s house, as if she had not heard Parker’s explanation earlier. Patiently, he reiterated it for her, not that he thought it would make a difference.
They all sat down in the living room. Grandma Bates wanted to know about the funeral, and when she could expect to have her son’s body released into her custody. She was furious by the time Parker explained that the body would not be released to her, and that her son had in fact left very detailed instructions in his will as to how he wanted to be buried.
“He what? Can we contest that? I mean, after all, it’s only natural that he be brought back home. He should be laid to rest with his family, so I can mourn my son. It’s a mother’s right,” she added for good measure.
Parker’s voice was even when he responded, but Jonathan felt that his friend was having difficulties reining in his emotions. “You are in your legal right to contest your son’s final will and testament, Mrs. Bates, but please consider this, your son was a very good attorney. He worked for one of the best legal firms in this town, and I doubt you would have any success. Also, as your grandson’s attorney, I must inform you that Jonathan intends to respect his father’s wishes, making it even less likely that you would succeed, given that he is next of kin, in a legal sense of the word.” His last words came out strongly, emphasizing that Parker didn’t want any trouble from the Bates.
“Jonathan, do you really agree with this nonsense? Why would your father want to be buried in a strange city? This is preposterous and I won’t have any of it.” She started crying again. “I want my baby. I want my son to return home with me. Why can’t you grant me this?” Grandpa Bates moved in to try to console his wife, asking the question everyone else had hoped would go unspoken. “Do you have any idea why he chose that particular graveyard?”
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