This time, it was Dan who answered, “Mr. Bates, we’ve only just started our research into that. But there is a likelihood that your son may have been gay, and that he wanted to be buried alongside an old lover. At this stage, all we have is circumstantial evidence, but it’s the only thing that makes sense. Naturally, we would inform you as soon as we know more...” He regretted saying it, the second he noticed the blackness in Grandma Bates’ eyes as she screamed, desperately,
“My. Son. Was. No. Homosexual!”
Then she got up and stormed out of the living room, slamming the bedroom door behind her. Her husband got up, saying, “You’ll have to excuse us. These last months have been hard on my wife. Making up these allegations isn’t helpful. Please leave...” He looked at Dan and Parker, then Jonathan. “Son, your grandma and I need to talk to you, alone. Can you come back after lunch?” Then he disappeared, too.
“There’s no way I’m going back there on my own,” Jonathan said, clutching his coffee mug once they were back in their own apartment. “Either you’re with me, or I’m not going. Period!” Jonathan was furious. Furious at his grandmother’s disrespect for his father’s last request, and furious at her dismissal of her son’s potential homosexuality, thus dismissing her grandson without even knowing. Or did she?
Dan walked up behind Jonathan, taking his lover into his arms. Jonathan relaxed, dropping his head backwards to rest on Dan’s shoulders, receiving a long kiss. Then Dan responded, “Of course, I’ll be with you. Maybe we should meet them on neutral ground, what do you think? That way she’ll have to behave? I could get us a table at Anthony’s tonight? It’s quiet, the food is good, and if push comes to shove, it’s walking distance from the Empire?” he added with a smile, kissing Jonathan’s head gently. “Don’t worry, Jon. I’ll never leave your side. Ever.”
While Dan made the reservations, Jonathan called his grandparents at the hotel. He explained that something had come up and he couldn’t make it after lunch but that he’d pick them up for dinner at six. He didn’t mention Dan would be with him. That would be his surprise. Something within Jonathan was almost looking forward to coming out, to throw every ounce of gayness at his grandmother. If she hated gays the way she had hinted at earlier that day, maybe that explained part of his father’s behavior? Maybe they had pushed him so deep into the closet that he could never find his way out again? He didn’t know, of course, but there was this nagging sensation in the back of his mind that just wouldn’t go away.
At six, Jonathan picked up his grandparents from their suite at the Empire and guided them to Anthony’s, one of the city’s upscale French restaurants. It was one of Dan’s favorites, one where he and Sean had spent many evenings during their long year of dating and during the years that followed.
He was slightly discouraged when he saw the displeased look on Grandma Bates’ face when she saw Dan. Oh well, all the more important he was there. “Good evening, Mrs. Bates. I hope you’ve been able to rest a little?”
“Mr. Jackson,” she responded coldly, again refusing his handshake, and just sitting down. This is going to be fun, Dan thought, looking over at Jonathan as he helped his grandparents with their coats, before taking his own seat next to Dan.
“Jonathan, son, may I ask why Mr. Jackson is here?” Grandma Bates inquired, ignoring Dan completely. “This was supposed to be a family matter.”
Jonathan couldn’t control himself anymore and spat out the words.
“Dan. Is. My. Family!”
Dan looked at his lover, surprised at the conviction of his words, the finality of their meaning. He was proud, his heart suddenly beating faster, full of love for this amazing young man.
Grandma Bates hadn’t caught on. “What do you mean, dear? Family? We are your family, and we want you to come back with us, live with us. You’ll need family, someone to care for you, someone to guide you into adulthood. You can’t stay here, alone, in this place, with these people.” That last word carried all her contempt for big city people, for the sins and horrors, and everything she thought was wrong in this world, including Dan, although she hadn’t yet realized why.
Jonathan sighed. Was it really so difficult, was it really so hard to see?
“Grandma, Dan is my partner, my boyfriend. We are a couple. We live together...”
He wanted to say something else, but his grandma cut him short. “Your what?” She was yelling again, clearly upset. Her husband had his hands on her arms, trying to calm her, to no avail. “No son of mine is a homosexual, and neither are you. I shall put an end to this. I’ll call the police. You are coming with us this very instant.” She got up from her chair, trying to get Jonathan to come with her, but he stayed put, looking at her in surprise. “You, on the other hand, you, Mr. Jackson, are a child molester. I shall have you arrested. You are a disgusting man!” She stormed off with Grandpa Bates running after her.
Dan and Jonathan couldn’t help but look at them as they rushed for their coats and stormed out of the restaurant. They raced across the street, back to their hotel. “That went rather well, don’t you think?” Jonathan said evenly. The expression on Dan’s face was priceless.
Anthony came by to see what the commotion was all about. “Just an interesting coming out, Tony,” Dan said. Anthony moved them to a different table, on the other side of the restaurant, where they’d normally sit and dine, knowing all too well what Dan had been talking about.
Chapter 24
THE NEXT MORNING, the Bates left the Empire, apparently taking the first flight back home. Parker learned later that they had contacted several legal firms to try and contest their son’s last will, but all of them had turned them down. It really was an almost impossible request. At one point, Grandma Bates even tried to contact the police and social services to have Jonathan removed from Dan’s apartment. But, after a few weeks, things calmed down, and Parker guessed that they’d probably never hear from them again.
For a while, Dan was worried how Jonathan would take the ‘loss’ of his grandparents, but since he had never really been close to them, he was indifferent about the whole situation. “You know, if she really loved me, she would love me for who I am, not for who she wants me to be.” That was the last conversation they’d had about Grandma Bates.
Instead, it had become time to bury Jonathan’s father. Dan flew ahead a couple of days earlier. He’d wanted to do some more research on Rick Johnsson, and to ensure the plot next to Rick was still available, as his father had requested.
They had also been able to go back to the house after the police finally released it to them. They went there together with Parker and Dennis, but didn’t spend much time. It felt weird for Jonathan to be back in this place that had brought him so much pain. He only retrieved a couple of small treasures from his room, a diary and a box with secret trinkets, a few sweaters and a couple of his favorite shirts, leaving the rest behind for a charitable organization to collect. They put the house on the market, willing to sell it off at any cost. Jonathan was eager to close that particular chapter of his life. Oddly, with his father’s death, his wealth had increased even more since his father had some funds set up for his retirement, but Jonathan couldn’t have cared less. He had enough money to last him a lifetime and more, he didn’t really need that additional money.
When he got off the plane with Parker, Dennis and Mary, who had joined him to attend the funeral, he found Dan waiting at the exit. He could tell by his facial expression that he had news. That he had indeed found information about his dad and Rick. But what? He didn’t say a word during their ride into town, but they did pass the campus where his father had once studied.
Chapter 25
Last night, a party at the local Centauri fraternity house on campus at Trinity College ended in tragedy. The freshmen hazing ended in the tragic death of young local student, Rick Johnsson, 19, and caused severe injuries to junior student, Jonathan Bates, 21. Mr. Johnsson is survived by his parents, Olivia and Martin Johnsson, and his sister, J
uliette.
The Police have not yet revealed any details of the case, but the Trinity Gazette learned from well-informed sources that the hazing included the most despicable sorts of sodomite rites. No suspects have been apprehended. The college has declined to comment.
The Gazette hopes that Trinity College Chancellor Swan will take these recent events seriously and stifle the liberal tendencies at his college as well as stop the increasing partying at local fraternity and sorority houses.
Jonathan read the article a couple times before he passed it on to Parker and the others. They were sitting in a local diner, and Dan was telling them the story he’d managed to dig up in the past few days. It had taken him a lot of patience, sieving through records at the local Gazette, the university records, talking to former groundskeepers, staff and alumni, before finally piecing together the puzzle.
“It seems,” he’d started, “that your father met Rick at a fraternity party. No one really knows what happened or if they had met before, or if it had been anything serious. Somehow, they had been caught red-handed by your father’s roommate. From there, things had apparently gotten out of control, and all I’ve been able to find out is that they were probably both raped, multiple times over several hours, with beer bottles. Your father needed surgery to remove a bottle from his rectum. For Rick, apparently, things didn’t go so well, as the bottle had broken inside him, causing severe internal bleeding. He was dead before they’d rushed him to the hospital.” Dan stopped his story there, allowing his friends and his lover to digest what he’d just told them.
No one said anything. Jonathan just looked down on the table. “So it seems, your father may very well have been gay, and Rick may have been his boyfriend, or a date, or maybe they just met each other at the wrong time in the wrong place. Given what we’ve experienced with your grandparents, it’s reasonable to assume that your father would’ve been closeted. He may even have blamed himself for Rick’s death.”
Jonathan looked up at Dan. “Do you think they were happy?”
Dan shrugged. “Jon, I really don’t know. All we know for certain is that they knew each other and they were caught making out. Whether that meant anything, I don’t know. It seems to me that your father must have felt strongly for Rick, given that he secretly bought the plot next to Rick’s grave. So for all intents and purposes, if it makes you feel better about your dad, then you must believe he loved Rick.”
The next day, they laid Jonathan Bates Sr. to rest. When the funeral was over, and his dad’s urn had been lowered in the ground, Jonathan placed a hand on the head stone that Dan had commissioned. They had decided on the text after his arrival the day before, rushing the order to the stonemason who’d worked all night to get it done.
Here lies
Jonathan Bates Sr.
Husband, Father
United, at last,
forever joined, in love
▽
The small triangle had been Dan’s idea, an early symbol of the struggle of gay men and women under the Nazi regime. The pink triangle was the earliest symbol of equality. Even without the pink color, observant visitors to the cemetery would understand its meaning, particularly next to Rick’s headstone.
Rick Johnsson
Beloved son & brother
They had been unsuccessful at tracking down Rick’s family, unable to learn what his family had meant with their inscription on the headstone. Had they supported their son, or if they, too, had abandoned him. It would be one piece of the puzzle they wouldn’t find.
Jonathan looked at the headstone, and finally, the dam broke. Dan was unable to rush over before Jonathan fell to his knees, sobbing. Tears flowed freely down his cheeks, releasing the pressure of the previous six months, releasing the pain of years of beatings, the ordeal in the forest, the first encounter with Dan, their return to the city, that fateful New Year’s Eve, seeing Mr. Kendall, learning of his mother’s death, the cemetery, being reunited with Dan, the meeting with his father, the suicide, his grandparents.
He had been through so in the past six months. Dan lifted him up and hugged him, and Mary, Parker and Dennis joined them. The small circle of friends huddled in a long group hug, sharing the love for each other and providing Jonathan with the strength he needed as all those years of pain finally broke the surface. Seeing his father’s headstone had been that proverbial straw to break the camel’s back, and that afternoon, Jonathan let it all out.
After what seemed like the longest time, he had no more tears. He was tired, exhausted. He dried the tears off his face, kissed Dan, and looked at his friends.
“Let’s go home!”
Epilogue
“GRANDPA!” DENNIS JR. was shouting. “Are you coming?”
“I’m right here, boy. Let’s go!” Jonathan came from the bedroom in the cabin, clutching his walking stick. Without it, he wouldn’t leave the house any more. He hadn’t been out to the cabin for some time, with Dan being ill and all.
Outside the cabin, his children, Rick and Jeanette, were waiting with their families. He smiled as he saw them and their partners. My family. The thought caused pride to swell in his chest. Two children, seven grandchildren, not bad for an old man.
He had to cough, and Jeanette came to his side to help him. “You okay, Dad?”
“Yes, dear, I’m fine. Let’s go.”
They started the walk into the forest, slowly, as Jonathan wasn’t walking very well, even with his cane. The kids were excited. They loved being out there in the forest, although they hadn’t seen their grandpa there for many years. Usually, it would just be them coming with their parents for weekends or vacation.
They walked by a patch of green on the edge of the forest, where a small pile of stones stopped Jonathan dead in his tracks. He looked at the stones and remembered Rascal, Dan’s faithful friend, who had passed away all those years ago. By that time, Rick had been born already, and they never got another pet. City life was just not ideal for a dog as large as Rascal. They had driven out there that night, after he’d died, and buried the dog right there. He was left in the one place where he’d always been the happiest, the forest. A tear formed and fond memories flashed across Jonathan’s eyes.
He turned again and continued. They still had about a mile to go before they reached the site. Jonathan had insisted on this and nothing Rick or Jeanette said would change his mind. This was what he wanted and they both knew better than to argue with him.
Paul, Jeanette’s husband, walked next to Jonathan, supporting him by holding him under an arm. Rick and his wife, Rachel, were up front, taking the lead. The younger kids were running circles around them, the older ones walked solemnly, particularly Jonathan Jr. and his girlfriend, Emilie, seemed more quiet than normal. So was Parker, Jeanette’s oldest son. The boy had tears in his eyes, looking to the ground most of the time.
When they reached the site, Rick turned to his father and asked. “How would you like to do this, Dad?”
Jonathan sighed. The boy’s fifty years old and he’s still a klutz. “Well, we dig a hole. Right next to Sean’s grave...” His voice trailed. He’d never met Sean, he was just a distant memory in all the stories that Dan had told them when they were young. Over the years, the stories had become less frequent, but Jonathan knew just how much Dan had loved his first partner, and he knew that this is what he would have wanted. They never wrote a will, always knowing that their friends and children would know what was right. When Dan suddenly fell ill, and passed away the week before, Jonathan knew instinctively what to do. He looked at the small round stone lying on the ground, with its simple inscription.
Sean Smith
Loved
Jonathan Jr. started to dig the hole. “Make sure it’s at least two feet deep, son,” Jonathan said, pointing with his cane at the hole his grandson and namesake was digging. When he was satisfied with his work, Jonathan walked up to the hole and asked for the urn. With all the strength left in his frail body, he lowered it into the ground, havin
g to get on his knees, his tall body unable to bend so low any longer.
When he was done, he sprinkled some dirt over the remains of his husband with tears in his eyes. Assisted by his grandson, he got back up on his feet and looked at his family and said, “I met your father and grandfather right here, almost sixty years ago, in this very forest. I know you know the story, and I won’t bore you with it again. But what you may not know is that Grandpa Dan had a life before he saved me. He had a life with the man that lies right here next to him now. Sean. It is only fitting that they be reunited now and I hope you will bring me here, too, once I’m gone.”
Jonathan couldn’t help but remember his own father, and how Dan and he reunited him with what had probably been his lover before he suppressed his sexuality and turned into a monster. A monster who beat his wife because he was miserable in their marriage, and who beat his son, hoping he would never turn gay. Never have to endure the abuse at the hand of strangers, endure the hatred that he had suffered at the hands of the jocks at his college.
“I would appreciate if you would share your last thoughts and wishes for your father and grandfather...” Jonathan added then looked at his first born.
“Dad,” Rick said, looking at Jonathan, “Papa,” looking at the urn in the ground, “I miss you so much. I remember the stories you told me about my adoption, how hard it had been, the wars you had to fight to get me out of the orphanage. But you never once gave up on me. You kept me on the proverbial straight and narrow path, you loved me and nurtured me, made me the man I am today...” His voice trailed, tears flowing from his cheeks as he squeezed his wife’s hand. “I love you, Papa, and I miss you. May you rest in peace. You and Sean, while you wait for Dad.” His sorrow was so palatable that Jonathan could taste it, while Rick buried his face in his wife’s shoulders.
Jonathan's Hope Page 19