Feels Like Home

by Jennifer Van Wyk

  “Yup.”

  That’s when I really look at them. I do a double take and have to press my lips together to suppress the laughter threatening to bubble up out of me.

  Reece has on khaki pants and a tucked-in button-down shirt, his hair gelled up with what looks like an entire bottle of hair gel. The strands of his dark blond hair sticking up in what I assume he thinks is stylish but because of the amount of gel looks more like he stuck his finger in a light socket.

  Aidan looks similar, but his hair doesn’t have the same amount of gel in it. Probably because Reece used it all up.

  And then I get a whiff of them.

  “Boys? Did you happen to put on some cologne?”

  Aidan nods, but Reece shakes his head. “It’s not cologne. It’s body spray.”

  “Is there any left?” I dare ask.

  He shrugs. “I think so.”

  Not reassuring at all.

  “You know that you don’t need to use a lot, right? A little bit goes a long way.”

  “Right. But we figured we didn’t want to stink for Christine and Bri.”

  Mission not accomplished there.

  “Just to say, boys, you may have overdone it. And the gel” —I lift my chin in Reece’s direction— “is a little much.”

  “We smell?”

  “Not in the B.O. kind of way but…”

  Reece punches Aidan in the shoulder. “I told you it was too much! Ugh! Why do I always listen to you?”

  “It’s not my fault! It’s body spray. It’s meant to go over your body. Duh!”

  “But with just a small amount,” I remind them.

  “And the hair gel thing was all on you.” Aidan glares at his brother.

  “What are we supposed to do now? They’re gonna be here any minute, and they’re gonna think we look stupid, and smell stupid, and act stupid…”

  I cut off Reece’s rant and ensuing panic attack moment with a hand in the air.

  “Boys. Calm yourselves. Go throw your clothes in the laundry room, take a quick shower and scrub down. One of you take your bathroom, the other take mine so you get it over with quickly. Then get into some normal clothes. T-shirt. Joggers. Jeans. Hoodie. Whatever. They’ll love you more if you’re yourselves, got me?”

  They nod eagerly and both jet off to do as told, leaving a cloud of body spray in their wake. I have half a mind to open a window to air the house out but decide to check on supper instead.

  I’m admittedly not the best cook but being a single dad of two growing boys, boys who are active and can’t live off frozen food and boxed meals, I’m learning. Slowly but surely getting this whole cooking thing down.

  I check the chili, one of the few things I make that I’m proud of, and double check the cornbread in the oven isn’t burning.

  I had the boys help me set the table before their run-in with a gallon of body spray and hair gel. I place the bowls of shredded cheese, diced onion, and crackers on the table while I wait, impatiently, for the doorbell to ring.

  “Better?” I glance over at the sound of the Aidan’s voice, who looks like himself again, and over to Reece and smile.

  “Much.”

  And then the doorbell rings. Their eyes widen, and they both take off to answer the door at the same time.

  “Welcome!” Aidan shouts, and I chuckle.

  Five minutes ago, they were in panic mode over what they looked like for Christine and Bri, and now they’re welcoming them with open arms.

  Not that I mind the change.

  “Boys!” I hear Bri’s voice cry out.

  “Hey, Bri,” they say in unison.

  Knowing my boys. My fourteen-year-old boys, there was a reason they were so focused on how they looked — and smelled — for tonight’s festivities.

  And the one who just greeted them is it.

  I chuckle to myself as I round the corner and stop in my tracks.

  In the doorway of my home stands Christine, an arm on each of their shoulders, looking up at them and smiling.

  She’s short enough that they’re both already taller than her by a few inches. She looks gorgeous as usual, her dark hair down. She’s wearing a pair of skinny jeans and a big chunky mustard yellow sweater, Bri wearing something very similar, but her sweater light gray. They both step out of their boots and continue greeting the boys.

  Aidan and Reece are looking at Christine with giant smiles on their faces, and she’s looking at them in adoration.

  I hadn’t seen those looks shared between them and Heather in so long, I forgot what it was like.

  And it’s in that brief glance that I know I won’t stop pursuing this for our future.

  I want this for them.

  For me.

  For all of us.

  10

  Christine

  I didn’t realize I was looking for something. I felt content in the life that I was living, and then Andy walked in and shook everything up, everything that I thought I knew. He’s on my mind constantly, which is a bad thing. He’s not even divorced yet.

  I smile, resting my chin in my palm, feeling more content sitting at a table around empty bowls of chili, listening to the boys tell Bri about their lives. Neither can tell her stories or ask questions fast enough, and Bri is eating it all up.

  “Want to watch us play Xbox?”

  “Watch? Are you kidding me? Do I look like a sit by and watch kind of girl? Heck, no. I’m gonna destroy you. Tell me you have the new Halo game.”

  Both their eyes light up and they glance at Andy.

  “Yeah, we got it for Christmas! Along with Harry.”

  We all laugh at the ridiculous name for their turtle.

  “Go on. I’ll clean up while you guys get your butts handed to you by a girl,” Andy teases them.

  The three kids jump from their chairs and all settle in on beanbag chairs on the floor.

  “Do you have headsets?” I hear Bri ask.

  “Oh, she just won some major points with them.”

  “It doesn’t seem like she was struggling for their approval.” I wink at him as I lean down to pick up some of the dirty bowls and he saunters over to me.

  “They’re like their dad,” he says, his voice so husky it sends a shiver through my body.

  “Yeah?”

  “Mm hmm. Good taste, I must say.”

  “Andy…” I whisper.

  “It’s gonna happen, Christine. I served her papers today.”

  I sink slowly into the seat I had just stood from. “What?”

  He sits down and pulls his chair in front of me so we’re facing each other. He leans over and takes my hands in his. “I finally got a hold of Heather’s sister and found out where she’s staying. Lawyer had the papers ready to go, so he sent them over. Served her today.”

  “Are you… I mean. Wow. Are you okay?”

  “Why wouldn’t I be?” he asks, looking back and forth between my eyes, thumb rubbing against the back of my hand.

  I bite my lip, and his eyes drift briefly to the movement. I look down at our linked hands and take a deep breath then lift my eyes back up to his. “Have you heard from her?”

  He shakes his head and shrugs his shoulders. When he leans back against his seat, our hands separate. The loss of his touch against my hand is felt immediately, and I have to fight to not reach out and grab his hand in mine again, wanting and needing the calm it brings me. He rakes his hands through his hair as he looks into the living room and back to me again. It’s grown out so much since that first day he walked into Dreamin’ Beans. Sometimes he even wears it in a man bun, something I never thought I’d be attracted to. Until now, that is. Before I can stop myself, I reach up and push some strands out of his face. The curls are soft between my fingers. He closes his eyes briefly and leans into my touch.

  “I don’t expect to. She’s… well, she’s not the same person I married. Or at least, not the same person I thought I married. I figure we’ll hear from her again when she empties out the house. We have an off
er, so she needs to get her shit unless she wants it all to go to the thrift store.”

  “I’m sorry,” I whisper when I don’t know what else to say.

  He shakes his head back and forth a few times. “Don’t be. I’m not. She’s not worth it, right?”

  “I just want you to be happy,” I tell him.

  “I am.” He leans forward again, bracing his elbows on his knees and cocks his head sideways. “You’re part of the reason for that. A huge part.”

  I smile and look away. “Let’s get this table cleaned up so we can join the kids.”

  “Sounds like a good plan.”

  We clean up quickly, putting away the leftover chili in the fridge and loading everything we can into the dishwasher and start it up.

  He pops some popcorn, and I raise an eyebrow at him, considering we just ate.

  “They’re fourteen-year-old boys, sweetheart. They both have hollow legs.”

  I giggle and grab the bowls from the cupboard he motioned to, fill them up with popcorn, and make our way into the living room only to stop dead in our tracks.

  Bri is sitting on Aidan’s back while he keeps switching his controller from one hand to the next while Reece sits on his beanbag chair laughing and recording it with his phone.

  “It’s my turn!” Bri shouts at him, and from the sound of it, she’s only partly teasing.

  “No, it’s not!”

  She sticks her finger in her mouth and pulls it out with a loud pop. “I’ll give you a wet willy!”

  I share a look with Andy, and we both laugh hard enough to double over. “I take it they’re getting along.” I smile at him, and he pulls me in for a hug with his arm around my neck. Andy kisses the top of my head, and I sigh contently.

  “Gross! Don’t you dare!”

  “Then give me the controller, you twerp!”

  “No way! I thought girls were supposed to be nice!”

  “Don’t call me a girl!”

  Clearly, she grew up with a boy for her best friend.

  Boy turned boyfriend, but still.

  Andy guides us to sit on the couch together, him planting me right next to him, watching the three of them argue and fight over controllers. Bri finally wins the battle, boasting by doing a little dance. Reece laughs so hard he falls on the ground, abandoning his phone from recording the entire thing. After playing Xbox for a while, they eventually move to the basement to play foosball. Their raucous laughter from downstairs has warmth spreading through my body.

  Andy pulls me closer, and I tuck my legs up on the couch next to me. “It’s gonna happen,” he murmurs, the same words he spoke earlier. “But I won’t do this until I’m officially out, Christine. I won’t put you in the position of being the other woman.”

  “Won’t do what, though?”

  “You really don’t know?”

  “Well, I know what I want,” I admit.

  “Hope it’s the same thing I want… to keep moving forward with this, building what we have. Our friendship. Our relationship. And as much as it kills me, I have to push aside every instinct I have to pull you into my lap and kiss the stuffing out of you right now. Like I said, I won’t put you in the position of being the other woman.”

  “I want you to kiss me, too,” I whisper.

  “Really damn happy to hear that.”

  “But do you really think keeping the physical part out of our relationship until you’re divorced will stop people from talking? It’s obvious we’re getting closer, Andy. And not just to us.”

  “I don’t care what people say. It’s not about that. It’s about the fact that you and I both had our spouses step out on us, and it feels shitty as hell. I don’t care about Heather and her feelings, so don’t even think that. This is about me respecting you, knowing that when we share that part of us with each other, we have nothing holding us back. Tonight meant a lot to me. Seeing our three together, getting along, happy, blending. It just proves that this is a good thing, and I don’t want anything screwing that up.”

  “Thank you for being so wonderful. For respecting me that way, as much as I almost don’t want you to. I suppose I agree.”

  He chuckles and pulls me close, kissing the top of my head.

  Sigh.

  “Is it weird if I tell you I was tested?”

  I stiffen in his arms and turn to look at him.

  “You did?”

  “Yeah. She said I didn’t need to be but, not really feeling a whole lot of trust in that woman. “

  I laugh lightly. “Can’t blame you there.”

  I let the silence drift between us.

  “I was tested too,” I admit quietly then rush to continue, “I don’t think it was necessary but I couldn’t sleep at night not knowing.”

  “I get that. Probably for the best. You were all good?”

  I grin. “Yeah. All good. You?”

  He nods, eyes darkening as he looks at me with an intensity that causes me to take a deep breath.

  “I’m good,” he tells me, voice husky.

  Warmth spreads through my body, and I war within myself. The snarky, bitchy side wants me to just have those damn papers signed already so we can be together. So he can finally be rid of the disease that is Heather. The kind side of me fears what this will do to the boys. “It’s been a good night, Andy.”

  “It’s been a great night,” he corrects me.

  “Thank you for having us over.”

  “Thank you for coming over.”

  He looks at me for several beats before tucking a lock of hair behind my ear.

  “TWD?” he asks, rather than leaning in and kissing me like I want him to.

  But I respect his desire to wait.

  And I agree with it.

  “Yeah,” I nod my head and shift so I’m facing the TV, oddly fascinated about watching zombies take over the world.

  11

  Christine

  I’m at Balance, going over what I needed with James to get my part of the kitchen set up the way we both need it. He had asked me to head up the desserts once he opened his new restaurant, and considering it’s right next door to Dreamin’ Beans, it works perfectly. I could make some of the desserts that didn’t need to be fresh over at my place and train his chefs on how to make the rest. I think what I love the most about Balance is the fact that it’s kind of a fusion restaurant. A combination of the southern foods James’s dad grew up with, and the Italian and Asian meals he’s learned to cook over the years.

  I just finished taking measurements and wrote down everything for James and took a picture of it to keep in my phone, when I hear movement coming from the front that will soon be the dining area. I glance up just as Andy walks into the kitchen, covered in sweat and dust, white t-shirt pulled tight across his chest. Brown leather tool belt hanging low on his hips, well-worn jeans slung low beneath the belt. Dark brown work boots cover his feet, and a bright smile spreads across his face when he sees me. Even from where I’m standing, I can see a hint of red between his molars, the cinnamon gum he seems to be addicted to chewing making an appearance.

  He lifts the hem of his shirt to wipe the sweat from his brow, and my mouth goes dry. I feel my jaw go slack and eyes widen. When he drops his shirt, he winks, letting me know he caught me staring but doesn’t seem to mind one bit. I smile, not giving in to the blush that is trying to creep up my neck. I’m grateful for my olive-toned skin in that moment.

  “What are you doing here, cutie?”

  “Cutie?”

  “Well, I’d call you beautiful, but James already has that one covered with Carly. Or maybe I’ll start calling you gorgeous. Seems a little more fitting.”

  Then I do blush. And I know it’s a deep shade of pink, given that his smile only broadens.

  “So?” he prompted.

  “Oh! Yeah. I’m just working on the dessert menu a little bit. Needed to do some measurements, make sure we had the space needed for the extra oven James is installing.”

  He nods his head.r />
  “You got plans after this? Want to grab some dinner? I promised the boys I’d take them out to pizza. James recommended a place a couple towns over.”

  I’m shaking my head to the first question before I even have a chance to realize what he’s asking.

  “No, you don’t have plans, or no, you don’t want to come with us?”

  He shifts his stance as he reaches around his back, removing the tool belt. Such a shame, too. Or maybe it’s better this way. It only added to his hotness for some reason.

  “No, I don’t have plans.”

  “Pizza then?”

  And against my better judgment, this time I nod my head. Meanwhile, James is looking back and forth between us like we’re a tennis match, a shit eating grin covering his face. One he’s not even trying to hide. He should just pop himself some popcorn and settle in.

  I grab my coat and Andy does the same, though he doesn’t put his on. When we both head for the back door at the same time and Andy places his hand on my back, James hollers, “Have fun, you guys! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”

  “Son of a bitch,” Andy mutters. “Barrett’s going to be tweeting about this later.”

  If it wasn’t for the movement of his hand from my lower back to the base of my neck, squeezing slightly and the twinkle in his eye as I peered under my lashes at him, I would have been a little hurt by his statement, thinking that he was embarrassed to be seen with me. But my insecurities quickly get squished, understanding that it was a lighthearted statement about how Barrett is, rather than anything to do with me.

  And his actions?

  Those speak much louder than words.

  His constant affection, even though we aren’t officially anything.

  His texts and wanting to be around me whenever possible.

  His desire for the boys to know me and me to know them.

  “I’ll follow you to your place to drop your car, okay?”

  No room for argument, he’s already gently guiding me to my car.

  His hand is still on my neck, the heady combination of cinnamon and man overwhelming my senses, almost causing me to stumble. But he has a firm grip on me. I chance another quick look at him, the strong chisel of his jaw, the stubble covering his cheeks, a light smattering of dust in his hair.