Make A Wish (Dandelion #1)

by Jenna Lynn Hodge

  I felt nothing but shame and guilt. Though I had expected to hear about how much I’d hurt her, I didn’t expect it to hurt so much to hear. I deserved every second.

  She stood and walked over to me—gently easing herself down onto the empty seat beside me.

  “Beau, look at me.” She put her hand below my chin and turned my head, so she could look me in the eyes. “I’m not saying this stuff to hurt you, but it wouldn’t be fair to only give half versions of the truth.”

  I smiled slightly and nodded, urging her to go on.

  “Sometimes, I still believe that I’m not worth it, and finding out you were gone was one of those times. You leaving forced me to re-evaluate everything, as silly as that may seem. I spent months pouring over every memory and experience I’d gone through. It’s hard for me to admit this, but it isn’t easy being me and sometimes I make it a lot harder on myself than I should. I hit a brand new low, one that surpasses any from my past. I gave up on life. I gave up on happiness. I gave in to the urge to end my life. To me, I wasn’t worth it.”

  Silent tears slipped down her face, and with a quick brush of her small delicate fingers they were gone.

  “Just days after I swallowed the bottle of pills, Saylor forced me to go to the ER. I thought she was ridiculous for making me go, I was convinced that I’d thrown up every single one I’d taken. But you’ve met Say, she’s crazy and hardheaded, she wouldn’t take no for an answer. I’m glad she didn’t either. They did a blood test on me and discovered that I was pregnant. A couple days later, I had my first ultrasound and learned that I was just over six weeks along. From the moment I found out about him or her—” she looked down and placed her hand above her swollen abdomen, “—I wanted to tell the baby’s father. He was all I could think about every time I thought about the child growing inside of me. Saylor and I even got into this ridiculous argument about it. Then before I could do the right thing and tell him in person, I got kidnapped.”

  He?.. She didn’t say you, I thought to myself. The baby isn’t mine.

  Juliette looked into my eyes in pain and I knew I had to think thoroughly and gather all my thoughts before responding. I knew I couldn’t be mad that she had moved on, but it didn’t lessen the blow that I’d felt.

  “Being chained in that tiny room gave me all the time in the world to sit and think about my situation. Every day as my body changed, I thought about him—”

  God. Is she trying to torture me?

  “—What I would say to him when I got out, whether he’d even want to be in our baby’s life, whether I even wanted him to. I thought I had it all figured out, and then the unexpected happened and I felt my heart get crushed all over again at the mere sight of him. The father of my child saved us. We wouldn’t be here without you, Beau.”

  What?

  Another tear escaped and fell down Juliette’s bruised cheek. I couldn’t take my eyes from her as I processed everything. The realization came like a freight train, loud and clear.

  The baby she was carrying was mine.

  “M-my child?”

  She nodded and reached for my hand, bringing it to her small protruding belly. I could feel little movements from within and I wasn’t sure whether to shout at the rooftops with joy, or cry. My heart swelled with love for my unborn child.

  “I know you never asked for any of this, so I’m going to give you time to think about if this is something you even want. If you don’t, I understand and promise I won’t hold it against you. But if you do want this, I promise I will try my hardest to be a good mom to our baby. Just please don’t... don’t take...” She choked back sobs, trying her hardest to breathe.

  My day had taken a turn for the weird since the moment I’d finally found her and each moment since then had quite literally taken my breath away. As I held my hand to her stomach, feeling my very own baby moving around inside her, I saw something in her eyes I knew all too well—fear.

  It took me a few moments to register what she had said. “But if you do want this, I promise I will try my hardest to be a good mom to our baby, just please don’t... don’t take...” Then it all of a sudden made sense. I pulled my hand away from her and stood up.

  “Is that really what you think of me?” I always dreamed that when the time came for me to be a father, it’d be the greatest day of my life. I never expected this.

  “What?” she asked, clearly surprised at my sudden anger.

  “That I’d just take our kid away from you, not caring about how you’d feel?”

  Jules looked down before mumbling. “We don’t know each other Beau, not really. It was only one night and I tried to kill myself. If I were you, that’s what I would do. Take the child away from the mentally unstable parent. But I’m not you and I regret every day doing that. I will be a good mom, I promise I will.” Her voice was vulnerable and it only made me want to pull her into my arms and reassure her that I’d never rip our child away from her, but I couldn’t do that. I needed time to sort out what I was feeling and stew over the news that I just learned.

  I turned away from her, walking to the front door and slamming it behind me, leaving Juliette in the silence of Saylor’s apartment. Alone.

  JULIETTE

  Saylor popped her head in. “What the hell just happened? I’ve never seen him so pissed before and I’ve spent the past few weeks hanging with the guy.”

  “I told him about the baby being his and kinda, sorta, maybe implied he might take the baby away from me.” I couldn’t help but cringe when I realized how harsh it actually sounded.

  “What the hell don’t you understand about ‘Play nice’? Dammit, Jules, I love you but that is beyond screwed up.”

  Saylor being disappointed in me was a new feeling, and I didn’t like it one bit. I’ve experienced worried, crazy, pissed, and obnoxious Saylor but never disappointed.

  “I’m such an idiot.” I laid my head back and placed my hands over my eyes, begging the recent headache to go away.

  “Yeah, you sure the hell are. Beau has spent the last couple weeks, since the moment he found out you were missing, searching for you after only spending one measly night together? He even had his family involved. That guy loves you, Jules. Yeah, he screwed up, but it’s so obvious that he’s trying to make it up to you. Cut the guy some slack, already.”

  “I tried to kill myself while I was pregnant with our child, Say. I can’t just forget that.”

  “Yeah, Jules. YOU tried to kill yourself, not Beau. It’s not completely his fault, it’s yours too.”

  “Why are you defending him?” I asked. My feelings were suddenly hurt. I felt as if Saylor was betraying me and our friendship.

  “Because I saw that man give up everything to fight for you, and even though he didn’t know it at the time, he was fighting for your child too. You don’t have to marry the poor guy, but dammit Juliette, grow up.” Saylor’s voice hitched out of frustration.

  She never used my first name, always just referring to me as Jules, Jay, or the Cyborg. I knew I’d messed up and now, now I had to make it up to him somehow.

  I stood up, grabbed Saylor’s car keys, and walked out in search of the man whom I hadn’t intended to hurt with my words but had anyways.

  ***

  I sat on the stairs outside Beau’s house, squeezing my cable knit sweater tightly around me to keep myself warm while I waited for him to arrive. The later it got, the colder it became.

  I’d been sitting outside for well over an hour, but he still hadn’t come home. I owed it to Beau and to our baby to wait it out, so I refused to leave until we talked. Luckily I didn’t have to wait too much longer before his truck came roaring into the driveway. He climbed out of the truck, his face expressionless as he walked up to me. I couldn’t help the shiver that went through me, partially from the cold and partially from how handsome he looked.

  “Damn, Jules. How long have you been waiting?”

  “An hour and a half, maybe longer. I lost track of time actually.” Bea
u eased me to my feet, rubbing my arms to get the heat circulating. “Thanks.” I smiled at him, my heart already melting just looking at him. But I couldn’t crumble so easily, I knew that.

  “Let’s get you inside and warmed up. We gotta keep our baby warm.” His eyes twinkled as he spoke, unlocking the door in the process.

  Our baby... I love the sound of that.

  Once inside, he pulled up a couple chairs in front of a brick fireplace and got a small fire going. He bent down, manning the logs before closing a little black fireplace screen.

  Beau left the room and came back a few minutes later with a couple cups of hot chocolate, little melting marshmallows floating on top. He gently handed me a mug before sitting down in the chair beside me.

  “Why are you being so nice to me after I was such a jerk to you?” I asked, genuinely curious.

  “I understand your reasoning for thinking what you do. I was pissed when you first suggested that I’d do something like that to you but I had some time to think it over. You were right when you said we don’t know each other.” His eyes took on a glassy look while the words continued to come. “You gave yourself wholly to me and I left you. I left you alone and pregnant. Me not knowing about our child doesn’t excuse how wrong my behavior was and I know that. I take full responsibility for what happened between us.”

  “Don’t, Beau. Don’t you dare try to blame yourself for this. We are in this situation now because we both chose it. And you know what? If I could go back and change it, I wouldn’t change a damn thing. I’m getting fatter everyday and in a few short months, I’m gonna be a mother, but hell, we created this little miracle. In that moment, our affection for each other created something that I never thought I wanted or dreamed I could ever have.”

  Beau sat watching me struggle with the emotions I was feeling. I felt desire for him but there was also fear and pain, even confusion. Confusion over whether what I was feeling was even real or if it was just something concocted by my pregnancy hormones. I could barely hold myself together long enough to get through my little rant. With a sigh, I twirled a light blue faded strand of hair around my pointer finger, staring into the fire as if it held all the answers to my questions.

  “I would never take our child from you, Jules,” Beau promised. “If anything, I should be worried that you won’t want me to be in his life. You’re the mother. You’re carrying our baby that we made together. You’ve spent the past few months protecting our little one from the hands of those men. I saw that first hand. You deserve this. You deserve to finally have a family and to be happy. I would never think of tearing that away from you.”

  His words took my breath away. Tears shed quietly from my eyes.

  “Thank you,” I whispered, not trusting myself to say anything more than that.

  Beau leaned forward, his arms resting on his knees while he took my left hand into his large one. When he spoke, his voice washed over me like the sweetest breath of air. “I know you don’t trust me, but I will prove that I’m a trustworthy man. I will cherish our child and I will treat you with the utmost respect. Without you, our baby wouldn’t be possible, so it’s you that I thank. Thank you for being the mother of my child and for giving me the chance to know him. I won’t let you both down.”

  The tears fell harder from my eyes and I had to squeeze them shut to keep from bawling like a newborn. Beau was so much more than I remembered him being.

  “Why are you so sure our baby is a boy? You keep referring to it as a ‘him’.”

  “Just a little prediction. Boys tend to be the dominant gender in my family.” He smiled at me and I couldn’t help but grin back at him with what I could only assume was an innocent version of the Cheshire cat smile. He’d be the death of me, that much was sure.

  Beau pulled me to my feet and into a hug, rubbing my back with his hand. I buried my face into his shoulder as I let the last remaining tears fall. I was finally beginning to feel like myself again.

  BEAU

  I held her till all her tears had subsided. I was completely and unabashedly mesmerized by how strong of a woman she was—one who went through much more pain and heartbreak than was deserved.

  “Ugh. Freaking hormones.” She smiled as she wiped the moisture from her face and sat back down in her chair. “All I do is cry or eat… Can’t catch a break.” Her giggle was infectious and before I knew it, we were both laughing, enjoying the rarity of the peaceful moment we were having together. “So… Friends?” she asked.

  “Always.” I winked at her. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Sure Beau. I’m an open book.”

  “Did you know those men that took you?”

  Obviously caught off guard by my question, she cringed before nodding her head. “I knew one but it wasn’t Miguel, the one you met.”

  “I’m sorry. You don’t have to talk about this if it’s too painful. You probably shouldn’t get too stressed out anyways.” Now that we were having a baby, I had make sure she stayed nice and calm. She’d had enough stress already to last a lifetime.

  She laughed at my response. “I’m pregnant, not inept, B. Really, it’s okay. I’m safe, so I think I can handle talking about it with you.” As I looked her in the face, I had to take deep calming breaths—her bruises stared back at me as if they were a movie poster on the side of a Hollywood building. “What is it?” she asked, watching me intently.

  “I just hate that they hurt you.”

  I was angry and Juliette could see that.

  “I’m fine. The baby is fine. All my bruises and cuts will heal. I got them defending us. They’re simply battle wounds and I’m quite proud of them, so don’t you dare feel sorry for me.” Her lips spread into a big smile as her eyes threatened to challenge me. She was the only one that could instantly calm my aggression.

  I held my hands up in surrender and resumed the questions I knew needed to be asked. I needed to have all the info that she knew. The other man was still out there somewhere. Even though I’d had my second pack car trailing him, he must’ve noticed because we eventually lost him.

  “Who is the other man?”

  “He’s a man from my past. I’m not proud of what I allowed to happen…” I laced my fingers with hers, consoling her with my touch. “I was seven years old when I went to live with a foster family. They weren’t great people, but they weren’t the worst that I’d had either. They had a 17-year-old son name Maximilian; everyone just called him Max or Maxxy. He was severely overweight but also loud and obnoxious, though he’d always been nice to me. I thought it was cool that for the first time I had a brother—that’s what I had considered him.” She rolled her eyes in disgust before continuing. “Then one night, he came into my room. I was excited since I thought he was finally going to play Candy Land with me, but he didn’t. He had other things in mind. Sexual things. He pinned me to the bed and covered my mouth when I threatened to scream—”

  “Stop.” I was furious but caged the rage and reached up to brush a stray hair hanging in her face away with my thumb. “You don’t need to explain that part. I really don’t want you to have to relive it.”

  She nodded with a grateful smile before continuing. “I lived with them for a while longer—about five or six months—before I was placed in the group home. That’s where I met Saylor, and it’s been uphill ever since. Well, not really, but it could have been so much worse.”

  “I don’t get it. What does that despicable man have to do with your kidnapping?” I hissed out the question, hating to even ask, hating to have her talk about a time that clearly brought her pain.

  “I didn’t put two and two together at first either. Remember how I told you that Saylor had forced me to go to the ER?” Beau nodded. “Well the lab technician, Miles, who drew my blood noticed an inconsistency, or so he said when he came to my apartment to break the news to me. I thought it was weird that he was delivering the information in person, but I still answered the door. Stupid, I know.” She blamed herself and I didn’
t like that. “He was the one that kidnapped me. It wasn’t until he was hitting me that I noticed the connection. The same eyes as the teenage boy from when I was a kid. The same quick, violent motions. It all added up. I called him Max and he laughed, telling me it took way too long to connect the dots. Maximilian… Miles. Same person. He somehow had lost weight and buffed up—even changed his name or chosen to go by another variant of his birth name, I don’t know exactly. I didn’t recognize him, but had I paid better attention—I might’ve.”

  “I’ll kill him.”

  “Funny. That was exactly Saylor’s words too.”

  “Juliette,” I warned. I was behaving surprisingly calm, but the cage was opened and I was barely holding all the rage in. Now wasn’t the time for sarcastic comments.

  “Sorry. It just isn’t worth dwelling in the past. I really need to let it go—”

  “Stop downplaying the situation. It was horrendous the way you were treated as a child and the way you were treated these past months. The guy deserves to pay for his actions, but in the meantime, it isn’t safe for you to be at your apartment.”

  “But…” She began to whine before she caught the look in my eyes, and her mouth snapped shut. “Okay... Oh wait! Do you still have that stuff I asked you to grab from the desk in the house?”

  “Yes.”

  “Bring it to me,” she demanded. I stood immediately and went to fetch the drives and papers, bringing back my Macbook Pro with it.