Impending Love and Madness

by Laura Freeman

  ****

  Jem entered the room. “What happened? Where is Zach going?”

  “Fine chaperone you are.” Cole sat next to Cass. “Our little sister is nearly compromised while you’re baking biscuits.”

  “Biscuits? I was helping Chauncy with her letters.” Jem stared at Cass. “Compromised? What happened?”

  Cass waved her hand to dismiss any concern, but her hand shook. “Zach kissed me.”

  “He had her pinned on the sofa with her feet in the air,” Cole said.

  Jem’s mouth dropped. “Cassie!”

  “It happened so quickly, I didn’t know what to do.”

  “You tell him to stop!” both sisters echoed.

  “But I wanted him to kiss me.”

  “Baby, that wasn’t a kiss,” Cole said. “That was an examination, and he was playing doctor.”

  “A lot of men have kissed you,” Cass accused.

  “And Jess was always chaperoning.” Cole looked at Jem. “In the same room.”

  “The door was open,” Jem defended. “I didn’t hear a cry for help.”

  Cole patted Cass on the shoulder. “It’s hard to scream with a man’s tongue in your mouth.”

  Tongue? Cass narrowed her eyes. “Does Blake kiss you with his tongue?”

  “He’s my husband,” Cole said. “He can put his tongue anywhere he wants.”

  “Colleen!” Jem shrieked.

  Cole smoothed her skirt. “An unmarried lady doesn’t bestow her kisses freely.”

  This from her sister who was going to write a book about kissing? “You said you couldn’t tell if a man was the right one without a kiss. Remember how you kissed Blake on Grandpa’s canal boat?”

  Cole shook her head. “I was demonstrating how to kiss.”

  Jem threw her hands in the air. “When was this?”

  “Hours after we met Blake,” Cass said. “Cole bragged she could write a book about kissing and demonstrated her expertise.”

  “Get up!” Jem shouted, pulling Cole to her feet. “You shouldn’t be giving advice to a young girl.”

  Cass stood, her hands on her hips. “I’m not a child.”

  Her sisters ignored her as they turned to each other. “How long did it take you to kiss Logan?”

  “I was married when I met Logan.”

  “So, you never kissed him until after you were a widow?”

  Jem hesitated. “Those were special circumstances. The war is over now.” She turned to Cass. “You can afford to wait longer before any intimacies.”

  “I should ask Jess when she…”

  “No!” Cole paced the room. “That wouldn’t be a good idea.”

  None of her sisters had practiced the rules they were forcing her to obey. “How can you judge me? I’ve been writing to Zach for more than a year. I’ve been his nurse, and the first time he kisses me after months of proper courtship, you send him walking. If he doesn’t come back, I’ll never forgive you.”

  Cole looked at Jem and then turned to Cass. “Oh, he’ll come back. After that kiss, you’ll have trouble keeping him away.”

  “You need to set boundaries,” Jem said.

  “But I liked it.”

  Her sisters exchanged worried looks. “I think it’s time I showed her the drawings,” Jem said.

  “A few more minutes and she wouldn’t need drawings,” Cole said. “She would have seen the real thing.”

  Cass had seen the real thing on a couple of patients when volunteering at the hospitals. She wasn’t sure whether they were ignorant of her presence or wanted to shock her, but she hadn’t been impressed by a dangling stem of flesh surrounded by a mat of hair.

  Cole pulled her to the sofa and lowered her voice. “Men are different from women.”

  “Oh, I know that,” Cass said. “I’ve seen baby boys.” And a few men.

  “There’s more than anatomy.” Jem sat on the other side of her. “Men are guaranteed pleasure whenever they have relations with a woman.”

  “Pleasure? Don’t men and women marry to have children?”

  “That’s part of it,” Cole said. “But it can be pleasurable with the right person.”

  “Is that what all the noise is about?”

  “You listen?” Jem’s face went red.

  “The walls are thin,” Cass defended.

  “She’s right,” Cole agreed with a sigh. “Jess and I could hear you and Logan when we were in the room next door. And when we visited Tyler and Cory, nobody could sleep.”

  Jem had a look of horror on her face. “Why didn’t you say something?”

  Cass shrugged. “It was educational.”

  “You can sleep in the room at the end of the hall,” Jem said. “As soon as I empty it of all the supplies I’ve been storing from Ohio.”

  “Don’t get a bee in your bonnet,” Cole said. “It would be worse if you silently endured his touches.”

  Cass turned to Jem. “Why would you do that?”

  Jem sat with her back straight and her hands in her lap. “Some women don’t marry for love, but they can’t reject a husband in the marriage bed.”

  “Why not?”

  “A man can divorce his wife if she doesn’t submit.”

  “Or worse,” Cole said.

  “What could be worse than divorce?” A husband took the property, money, and the children in a divorce. The wife was left with nothing.

  “Beatings or rape,” Cole said. “I remember helping Papa treat a woman who had been beaten so badly, she was covered with bruises. Her eyes were swollen shut…”

  “Stop!” Jem interrupted. “Cassie doesn’t need to hear about that.”

  Her older sisters didn’t realize in their absence, she had taken over duties helping their father with patients. She had seen the results of drunken husbands and fathers. A little boy, not much older than Jake, had been thrown across the room. His father cried and apologized between gulps from a bottle of whiskey. She had learned that not all men are redeemable. She shook the image from her head and concentrated on the voices of her sisters.

  “That’s why love needs to be mutual,” Jem said.

  “Men can be with a person they barely know and enjoy it,” Cole added. “But a woman needs more. She needs security and love or the physical part means nothing.”

  “And women have to worry about having a baby. Look at Jess. One night with Morgan and she had Jackson. A woman has to be careful.”

  Cass dismissed their warnings. “But when he kissed me, it was like being in a wonderful dream.”

  “Passion is nice,” Cole said. “But it has to be controlled.”

  “By both parties,” Jem added. “I’ll have Logan talk to young Zach Ravenswood.”

  “Oh, no,” Cass said. “That would be embarrassing.”

  “Unmarried with a baby is embarrassing,” Jem said.

  In her experiences as a midwife, an unwed mother was not uncommon. “Did I do something wrong?”

  “No, baby.” Cole stroked her hair back from her face. “Men have been kissing women since the beginning of time. Most of the time we wipe off their spittle and send them on their way, but when it’s nice…”

  “It was nice.”

  “Did he say he loved you?”

  “He didn’t say anything.”

  “Were you talking?”

  “No, I was eating my pie. He wiped off my mouth and the next thing he was…”

  “Devouring you.” Cole stood and paced. “You need to talk more. Men can’t kiss you when you’re talking. And where’s your fan? You can block a kiss with your fan.”

  “When do I permit him to kiss me?”

  “When he vows undying devotion,” Cole said.

  “And proposes,” Jem added.

  A knock echoed from the door.

  “I’ll get it,” Jem volunteered.

  She returned with Zach, who twirled his kepi in his hands. “I sincerely apologize for my behavior, Miss Beecher.”

  Cass smiled. “I’m not as upset as
my sisters.”

  “Yes, she is,” Cole corrected. “You don’t treat a young lady like a camp follower.”

  “I never visited any hookers,” Zach defended.

  Jem waved her hand. “Sit down, Zach.”

  Cass moved to the end of the couch to make room.

  “Not there.” Cole pointed to a chair opposite the sofa. “That should be a safe distance.”

  Cole sat on one side and Jem on the other, guarding her virtue. Zach looked nervous. Cass smiled. “Did you enjoy your walk?”

  “No, he did not enjoy his walk,” Cole said. “He was contemplating the error of his actions.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Don’t ma’am me. And don’t think I won’t tell my husband about this. He’s still your commanding officer.” Cole shrieked. “My letter. In all this turmoil I forgot about my letter.”

  “Let’s find out what Blake has to say.” Jem folded her hands in her lap, and Cass followed her example.

  Cole retrieved a letter from her reticule and unfolded the pages.

  “We’re in Virginia and marched through Richmond. Not much left. My father’s hotel was burned to the ground. The Mackinnon store is gone, too. No one seems eager to rebuild. The surrounding land is barren as well. Farms that sold for $5 an acre can’t be given away now. We’re marching toward Washington City and home. Our gait is long, knowing each step takes us closer to the end of our journey. I don’t know how many miles we’ve marched. I know I’ve worn out more boots than I can count. This is it, Cole, darling. I’m coming home. Kiss Jake for me.

  All my love,

  Blake”

  Zach raised an eyebrow. “Is that it?”

  Cole waved the letter in his direction, the crisp sheets crackling in her fingertips. “There’s a note for you on the second page.”

  Zach leaned forward.

  “Tell Sergeant Zach Ravenswood we expect him to join us when we reach Washington City. No need to join us sooner.”

  “I’m stuck here,” Zach said.

  Cass stood. “I’m sorry our company bores you.”

  “Oh, no. You’re not boring, Cassandra.”

  Only her father called her Cassandra. Her sisters called her Cass and others called her Cassie, but it was a little girl’s name. Did Zach see her as a grown woman? Finally? Had a kiss made the difference? She walked Zach to the door. Cole and Jem hovered nearby. She extended her hand. “It was a pleasure having you visit today. I hope you will call again soon.”

  His grin widened, and his sour apple green eyes twinkled. “You can count on it, Cassandra.” He kissed her hand, strolled to the gate, and threw a wave in her direction.

  Chapter Six

  Zach called the next day with flowers in hand and a box of caramels. Instead of the parlor, they sat at the dining room table where Jem helped Deidre form cursive letters on a slate and Cass drew a horse for Chauncy on paper with a piece of lead.

  “My grandfather raises horses at Ravenswood,” Zach said.

  “How many?” Deidre asked.

  “Around sixty, give or take a few.”

  Deidre resembled her uncle with blond streaks in her light brown hair and dimples when she smiled. “Wow, that’s a lot.”

  “How big of a place does your grandfather own?” Jem asked.

  “About eight-hundred acres.”

  “Do you own any of it?”

  Zach hesitated. “No, but I’ll own all of it one day.”

  “Inheriting something isn’t the same as earning it,” Jem said.

  “Oh, my grandfather will make me earn it,” Zach said. “Raising horses involves hard work.”

  Chauncy handed him a blank piece of paper. “Can you draw a horse like Aunt Cassie?”

  Zach stared at the three-year-old. She had her father’s blond hair and her mother’s blue eyes. “No, but I can draw a map of Ravenswood.”

  Jem paused in her knitting. She was making booties for the coming baby. “A map?”

  “I drew maps on our marches so we wouldn’t get lost. I was promoted to sergeant because of my penmanship.”

  “What’s that?” Diedre asked.

  Jem pointed to the chalk letters on her slate. “It’s what you’re learning. Copy the letters in your book.”

  Zach drew rectangles for the buildings, slashed lines for the fences, and double lines for the roads and paths on the farm. He wrote Ravenswood Farm at the top.

  Cass pointed at a large oval. “What’s that?”

  “The lake.” Zach pointed to a square near the edge. “This is the log cabin, and over here is the barn for the older horses. The ones Grandfather sells in the spring.”

  “Has he sold them yet?”

  “He wrote to say he’s waiting for me to return home before he advertises for the sale.”

  “I bet it’s exciting.” Cass studied the map as Zach inhaled the scent of lilacs in her hair.

  “A lot of buyers come annually. Grandfather has a reputation for quality horses.”

  Her profile formed an elegant line curving in and out to accent her features. His artistic talents were limited, and he doubted he could capture her beauty with pencil and paper. Tomorrow, they could stop at Matthew Brady’s photography shop down the road and have their pictures taken.

  “Does your grandfather manage all of it by himself?”

  Zach focused on their conversation. “No, he has trainers for the horses, and Seymour runs the household.”

  “Seymour? Who is he?”

  “Seymour Woods is the family accountant at Ravenswood,” Zach explained. “Pax and I never liked him.”

  “Why not?”

  “He liked bossing us around. We were boys. What if we tracked mud in on the floor or slid on the bannister? We didn’t do any harm.” Zach frowned. “It wasn’t his place. My great-grandfather Gabriel Ravenswood built the main house. Now there was an interesting man.”

  “Tell us about him,” Cass begged. “I love a good story.”

  Deidre clapped her hands. “Me, too.”

  “Gabriel was a smuggler before the Revolutionary War. Fought for George Washington and traveled to Ohio when they opened the west for settlement. But before that, when he was a boy in England, he lived on the estate of a wealthy duke. He claimed to be his illegitimate son.” Zach reddened. “I shouldn’t have said that in front of the children.”

  Jem put her knitting in a cloth bag and stood. “Chauncy needs a nap.”

  “I want my horse,” Chauncy pleaded.

  Cass handed the little girl her drawing. “You can put it by your bed and dream of riding it.”

  Jem hesitated by the staircase. “Deidre can chaperone while I’m gone.”

  Deidre paused her writing. “What’s a chaperone, Aunt Jenny?”

  Jem smirked. “You make sure there’s no kissing.”

  Jem took Chauncy’s hand and climbed the stairs.

  Deidre wiped her slate. Her dimples deepened. “I won’t tell if you kiss,” she whispered.

  Zach pulled Cass close. She pushed against his chest. “What do you think you’re doing? There’s a child present.” She took a deep breath. “You were talking about Gabriel and his lack of a father.”

  “I want to reassure you that I would marry you if anything happened.” He glanced at Deidre who wrote a letter on her slate.

  “What makes you think I would allow anything to happen?” Cass sat rigid. “Besides I don’t want a man to marry me because he has to. I want him to marry me because he values me as a partner in life and because he loves me.”

  Zach ran his fingertips through his long hair. He should have left out a few details about his family, but it was too late. The Ravenswood men had been notorious womanizers, but his father had remained faithful to his mother. They had loved each other, but what was love? How did a man know a woman loved him as much as he loved her?

  Cass snapped her fingers in front of his eyes. “Tell me about your great-grandfather.”

  Zach took a deep breath to clear his
thoughts. “When he arrived in Ohio, Gabriel built his own castle and named it Ravens Roost. He used quarry stone for the exterior and local wood for the inside. There’s a grand hall and double staircase. My grandfather, Elijah Ravenswood, added the stables and horses.”

  “Sounds wonderful,” Cass said. “You must have loved living there.”

  “Pax and I lived in the cabin by the lake with our parents. Those were good years. We worked with the horses when we were boys. I can’t count how many foals I’ve seen born. We named a few. While we were attending Western Reserve Preparatory School, our parents died. Influenza,” he explained. “When we returned home, our belongings had been moved to Ravens Roost, but it never felt like home. How could it without our parents.”

  “I’m sorry. I’m grateful I have parents, but sometimes I forget to appreciate them.” She retrieved a pen and ink well from a roll top desk in the parlor and arranged a sheet of paper. “I’m writing them.”

  She knocked the pen against the glass edge of the ink well and made graceful strokes with the sharp nib. “Would you like to write your grandfather?”

  Zach took a sheet of paper. “I want to tell him I’d be proud to help him with the sale.”

  “I’d love to see the horses and Ravenswood, if your grandfather wouldn’t mind.”

  “I think Grandfather would like you, but I should warn you. He has a reputation for charming the ladies.”

  “Like you?” Cass blushed.

  She considered him charming? He was a blundering novice. “When would you like to visit?”

  “I’d love to see the horse sale.” She frowned and glanced toward the upstairs. “But I can’t visit without a chaperone.”

  “That’s me,” Deidre said.

  “And you’re doing an excellent job.” Cass pulled softly on her braid.

  “Can’t Ethan escort you?” Zach asked. “He’s your cousin.”

  “I don’t know if Papa would agree. It’s a day’s journey, and I would have to spend the night.” She looked down, and a blush stained her cheeks.

  Maybe Ethan would be a lousy chaperone. His fingers fluttered across her hand. “There are plenty of bedrooms. And I’ll install a lock on your door.”

  She faced him. “Why would I need a lock?”

  “You’re right,” he agreed. “It would be useless against the ghost.”