by Matt Juhl
The heat of Harper’s troubled glare could have melted an iceberg. Feeling confused, her gaze wandered towards the vastly overpopulated lake on that scalding hot afternoon.
From his lounge chair, Nik asked, “Are you all right?”
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”
“You’re spacing out, and you’ve hardly said two words to me.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, what’s going on?”
“I’ve just got some stuff on my mind. It’s nothin’.”
“You know you can talk to me about anything.”
“I know,” she said, looking back towards the lake.
Ever since Nik and Harper’s passionate kiss on the shore, she’d thought about him incessantly. Although she’d surrendered to their desires and found Nik undeniably sexy, the uncertainty lingered in her mind.
Between the moments of fear, Harper found herself tossing and turning in the night’s heat, lost in fantasy. She’d spent the entire summer desperately aching for him. If she thought about it long enough, the tears of anticipation overwhelmed her senses to a point where she was paralyzed with ecstasy. And after having a real taste of him, she wanted more.
Harper desperately tried to imagine a life with Nik, free of discrimination, but as long as they were together, such an existence seemed inevitable.
Suddenly, the bright skies were overtaken by gloomy clouds and strong winds. The air temperature seemed to drop significantly as if a storm was coming.
“Wow, it’s getting dark. Look at all those white caps coming in.” Nik pointed to the waves.
She didn’t respond.
“Harper?” He sat up in his chair and pulled his sunglasses off.
Without realizing it, she had drifted off into a deep sleep.
As he stood over her, Nik noticed goosebumps on her arms from the chilled air. All she had on was a hot pink bikini over her delicate skin.
Nik pulled the oversized towel from his chair and covered her shivering body. Then he sat on the edge of the chair and warmed her shoulders with his strong hands.
While she slept, Nik adoringly watched Harper, captivated by her undeniable beauty. All he could think about was how incredible it had felt to hold her in his muscular arms…and how he wished he could do it again.
Nik couldn’t get her off his mind. There was an unspeakable ache shouting at him to chase her. It didn’t matter what anyone thought. He wanted Harper so badly he couldn’t stand it.
After an hour nap, she was awoken by unsettling banter.
“Nik?” Harper quickly sat up after noticing his unoccupied chair.
“Get off me!” he cried.
“What the hell are ya gonna do about it?” a heavily intoxicated voice mumbled.
Harper immediately recognized the unintelligent ramblings of Ricky Wiley. Until that point, she’d evaded him since their first altercation at the schoolyard. Sooner or later, she knew they’d meet again.
After untangling herself from her beach towel, she fell out of her lounger and raced to Nik’s aid.
“Man, come on,” he pleaded.
“Shut up.” Ricky slammed his fist into the side of Nik’s head, knocking him to the ground.
"Get your fat ass off him." Harper dug her nails into Ricky’s pale skin and tugged his arm back.
With his free hand, he reached around, restrained her by the shoulders, and looked back to Nik. "Oh look, it’s the other queer.”
While shaking his head, Nik struggled to hear Ricky’s words over the ringing in his ears.
"Back off, he ain’t done nothin’ to you.”
His yellow eyes glowed. “I didn’t think you were stupid enough to come looking for trouble.”
“Trust me, we weren’t. Who the hell would wanna see your ugly face if they didn’t have to?”
“Real funny. I warned you to stay outta my damn way, little girl.”
“I guess we were askin’ for it huh?” she mocked him.
“Yeah, now you’re both dead.”
Harper waved her hands sarcastically. “I’m real scared.”
“You should be.”
“We’ve been here all day. Just ‘cause your drunk-ass stumbled over here doesn’t mean we’re movin’. Besides, you don't own the beach, moron.”
"Everyone knows I hang out behind Iggy’s Bike Shop. Your kind ain’t welcome here.”
“We ain’t goin’ anywhere.”
“Yeah you are,” Ricky growled.
“You gonna do somethin’ about it, tough guy? I ain’t got a problem dealin’ with you again.”
He sneered. "Oh, but you wouldn't hurt me. I'm a guy. You like guys, remember?" He pulled her into his sweaty body. "What's wrong, Queer? Don’t you like being touched?”
"Get off me.” Harper shoved him away.
"You like it,” he teased.
"Leave her alone,” Nik shouted, bravely making his way to his feet.
However, Ricky instantly threw his fist into his jaw and knocked him back into the sand.
His audacity fueled Harper’s rage. She charged at the ogre, shoving her fists into his flabby chest. Then she grabbed his shoulders, pumped her leg back, and threw a hasty kick into his groin.
“You bitch!” Ricky swore, writhing in agony.
She proceeded to jab her elbow into his flushed face and quickly leapt to her feet.
Ricky reached out and pulled her down by the ankle.
She fought him off while his sweaty hands tugged on her legs. During the struggle, she pulled free and kicked his rib cage.
"I’ll kill you!”
Harper smirked. “You’ve gotta catch me first.” She leaned over and threw a large pile of sand into his face.
Ricky couldn’t see anything, coughing and spitting while wiping his face clean.
Without looking back, Harper raced to Nik’s side and helped him to his feet. “C’mon, get up!”
"Where are we going?"
"I don't know, just hurry.”
With hands locked, they feverishly raced across the beach, leaving all their belongings behind.
Being inebriated made it more difficult to maintain his balance, but Ricky eventually struggled to his feet, gritting his teeth while charging after his prey.
As Harper and Nik raced across Main Street, their bare feet smacked against the smoldering hot blacktop. It felt as if they were running through fire.
They raced by all the shops and into the foreboding Dark Woods.
“Do you know your way through here?” she asked.
“Yeah, just watch your head.” Nik pulled back the low-hanging branches and swept large spider webs out of their path.
Breathless and frightened, Harper turned and saw Ricky’s enormous body straddling his motorcycle.
“Shit, he’s comin’.”
Nik glanced over his shoulder. “Just stay along the tree line. We’ll lose him here in a minute.”
Ricky’s bike growled while he revved his engine. It fishtailed as he recklessly made his way down the street.
“What’s he gonna do, run us over?”
Panic washed over Nik’s brow. “Follow me.”
He pulled Harper into the heart of the woods where the crinkled fingers of the old treetops twisted, barely allowing light to the forest floor.
The hungry motor roared over fallen tree limbs as if it were a splitting chain saw. It crunched through leaves, decimating everything in its path.
Harper was astounded by Ricky’s violent perseverance. No matter how fast they ran, the motorcycle seemed to gain ground on them.
“How much further?” she asked.
“Up here, hurry.”
Nik grabbed on to a tree branch while offering his hand to Harper.
Suddenly, his sweaty grip on the bark began to slip. The pain burned through his entire body, but he pushed through and lifted her to the top of the hill.
“He’s gonna find us.”
“No, he won’t. Follow me.”
Before they were
seen, Harper and Nik raced inside an abandoned tool shed. The malodorous stench and intense heat were hard to ignore, but at least they were hidden. Through the cracks of the door, they fretfully watched his violence unleash.
The motorcycle’s eerie growl echoed off the trees as Ricky relentlessly attempted to scale the hill. The smell of burnt rubber filled the air while his tires spun out of control.
“He ain’t gonna stop. Maybe we should keep runnin’.”
Nik disagreed. “This is the safest place. He won’t find us.”
Beyond the unsteady beat of her heart, Harper heard a voice of reason, screaming at herself for challenging someone as unstable as Ricky. She had no idea what he was truly capable of.
Suddenly, a police siren overpowered the sound of Ricky’s bike.
“Is that a cop?”
“Yeah.” Harper opened her eyes wider. “See the lights? They must’ve seen him comin’ for us.”
Knowing he was intoxicated, Ricky began to panic. He quickly backed up, punched the gas pedal, and sped off deeper in the woods to evade the officer.
The paths from that point were too small for the squad car. Instead, they reversed out of the forest and sped down the road in Ricky’s direction.
Relieved that the psycho was out of sight, Nik and Harper opened the door and raced to the edge of the hill.
"He's gone," Nik noted, wiping the blood from his mouth. He leaned over and rested his hands on his knees.
Harper gently placed her hand on his back. “He hit you real hard.”
“Tell me about it. My head’s pounding.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Are you all right?”
“No, not really.”
Nik looked concerned. “You’re trembling.”
“Yeah.”
“Just take a deep breath. It’s okay, he’s gone now.” He shook his head. “I can’t believe he touched you.”
“I know.”
“I’ve never seen him that crazy.”
“He’s insane.”
“With all the hits you got on Ricky, I figured he’d leave us alone.”
Harper was annoyed, trying to make sense of the situation. All she could do was shrug her shoulders and roll her eyes.
Nik sensed her apprehension. “Harper, what’s wrong?”
After wracking her brain for the right words, she let out an exasperated groan. “I’ve gotta go.”
"Is everything okay?"
“I can’t do this right now.” She moved swiftly through the woods. Her feet were so badly scraped that it burned as she crossed the street, making her way back to the beach.
Nik immediately sprinted after her. "Harper, what's going on?"
"I don’t wanna talk about it.”
"C’mon, Ricky’s gone. Everything’s okay now."
"You really think so?” she said sarcastically.
“Yeah, we saw him drive off. He’s gone.”
“Only for now, but what happens the next time he comes after us? What if we ain’t as lucky?”
“I don’t get it. Nothing ever scares you.”
“Nik, he chased us down with his bike. What if we got killed? And how long before he tries again?”
“Then let’s go to the police and get a restraining order. They’ve probably caught him already.”
“That ain’t gonna stop that punk. He hates us. Last week we had to put up with Daisy and today it was Ricky. Who’s it gonna be next time? It’s ridiculous. How long are we gonna have to fight people off?”
“What are you saying?”
The sadness weighed in Harper’s expression. “We’re ignorin’ the truth. We’re straight. And obviously we like each other, but no one accepts us. They never will. I think we’ve just gotta be realistic—this ain’t gonna work.”
“Are you kidding me?”
“’Course not.”
“Who the hell am I talking to right now, ‘cause it sure as hell isn’t you. The real Harper would tell me to stand up for myself and fight back. You’re not afraid of anything.”
“There’s a difference between bein’ attacked and bein’ killed. You hear about these hate crimes all over the country all the time; people gettin’ hurt or murdered just ‘cause they’re straight. I don’t want either of us to lose our lives over this.”
“We won’t.”
Harper frowned. “We’re givin’ people in this town a reason to get upset. They’ll just keep comin’ ‘til one of us gets hurt. That’s why this needs to end.”
"Please don't go. We can fight this. C’mon, aren’t I worth it? I sure as hell think you are.”
“It ain’t that easy.”
"Harper, listen to me. The way we feel about each other is no one's business but our own. If you like me the way that I like you, that's all that matters. We can take on anything.”
"Don’t you see the way people stare at us when we're together? You don’t hear them whisperin’ and snickerin’? Look at Ricky and Daisy, they keep callin’ us queers. How many other people are thinkin’ the same thing? I just don’t see this ever stoppin’.”
“I don’t care what people think.”
“Maybe you should.”
"Harper, you can’t be serious. We can make it through anything.”
“Nik, please, just don’t—”
“I heard you out, but you’ve gotta listen to me too. If we stop seeing each other, they win. Then what will we have left? Nothing. We’ll both just be miserable and lonely.”
“Nik—”
“Running away won’t change who we are, and it won’t change our feelings for each other. I’m crazy about you.”
“I get that, but—”
“I’m different ‘cause of you. I’m really happy. I don’t think that I’d ever be that way if we hadn’t met.”
“Don’t say that. It ain’t fair.”
“Neither is what you’re doing to me right now. C’mon, I know you care about me just as much as I do for you.”
“I’d never deny that—”
“Then please don’t walk away right now.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to do.”
“Fight, that’s what we need to do. I can’t give up on you, or on this.”
“Why not?”
“’Cause we belong together.”
She covered her mouth with her shaking hand. “How do you know that for sure?”
“’Cause you’re the only thing in my life that makes sense. I wake up every morning, knowing I have something to look forward to—seeing you. I’m not depressed like I used to be. If I’m feeling this way now, I know deep down inside that it’d tear you up too. Please, I’m begging you, don’t go.”
Harper struggled with her thoughts and words. Nik was the last person she wanted to hurt, but her fear would not subside. “I’m sorry, I have to. It’s gonna be better for both of us, I promise.”
“I wish I could believe that, but I don’t and neither do you. I can tell ‘cause you’re crying. Deep down, neither of us wants it this way.”
“Maybe not, but it’s the way things gotta be.”
Feeling totally defeated, Nik stiffened his back. There wasn’t anything he could say.
The words immediately haunted her. As quickly as she could, Harper gathered her belongings and reluctantly walked away.
Before she was out of sight, she foolishly turned around just once. Seeing Nik standing alone on the beach was heartbreaking. However, knowing she caused his agony was absolutely devastating. All she could hope for was that it wasn’t the biggest mistake of her life.
FIVE
Harper anxiously paced in front of the bowling alley, debating whether or not to go inside. At that point, nothing made sense. It’d been several days since she’d seen Nik. The time without him was the most miserable she’d been all summer, but faced with so much adversity, she didn’t know how their relationship would ever work.
Feeling overwrought, she hoped Faye could provide some
guidance. The woman always seemed to have an answer for everything.
Harper hesitantly pushed through the rusted red door. She made her way amongst the bowlers to the front counter and nervously strummed her fingers while she waited.
It was league night, so the place was packed. The air was incredibly thick with the pungent aroma of stale cigarette smoke and freshly waxed lanes.
"Oh my sweet stars. Hey honey bunny!” Kitty, Faye’s eccentric co-worker, shouted from the fryer. She raced across the red-checkered floor, leaned over the counter, and threw her scrawny arms around Harper.
Everything about Kitty was over the top, from her gaudy gold-sweater to her obscenely heavy make-up. The woman lived under the delusions she was twenty years younger than she truly was and that she and Harper were best friends.
Being in Kitty’s presence always made her slightly uncomfortable.
"Hey, Miss Kitty.” She forced a smile and returned the hug, coughing from the fumes of the cheap hairspray in her bleached-blonde hair.
"Girl, where the hell you been? I’ve only seen you once since you guys moved back. What’s the matter, you too good to hang around this dump now?"
“No, I’ve just been busy.”
"Faye says you got a special friend you've been seeing. Bring her in sometime. I'd love to meet the girl that's keeping you away from us," she remarked.
Harper shrugged, too exhausted to correct the uncomfortable situation.
“Aren’t you gonna fill me in?”
“Maybe another time. Right now I just wanna see my aunt.”
Kitty bowed her head, disappointed by Harper’s disengagement. "Wait here a sec, I'll grab Faye. Have you eaten?”
“No.”
"I’ll go fix you something."
"Nah, y'all are busy. Besides, I really ain’t that hungry. Thanks anyway." Harper put her hand on her chin and bit her lip.
"Oh girl, something's wrong.”
“No it ain’t.”
“Can’t lie to me, honey.” Kitty lifted her eyebrows and leaned forward. “I've seen that look a million times."
"I'm fine, Kitty. Don't go worryin’ about me."
"You're a terrible liar, just like your aunt. So are you gonna tell me what’s up or do I gotta force it out of ya?"
"I don't mean to be rude, but it's kinda personal."