The Straight Crimes

by Matt Juhl

  An incredibly exhausted Nik jumped into the truck and slammed the gas pedal to the floor.

  As they crossed the state line from Illinois into Wisconsin, Nik raced to the nearest payphone and dialed Robert’s cell phone.

  “Where the hell are you guys? You should’ve been here by now.”

  “I’m sorry. Dad passed out and I couldn’t wake him, I tried. We aren’t far away though. I just looked at the map and we’re only about twenty miles from Lake Serena. You said the hospital’s on the outside of town, right?”

  Suddenly the phone went quiet.

  “Uncle Rob, are you there?”

  The silence was broken by a sniffle, quickly followed by an uncontrollable cry of devastation.

  Nik wanted to reach through the phone and wrap his arms around Robert. The man was inconsolable, hardly able to breath. At that moment, Nik knew they were too late.

  After spending the day comforting Robert, Nik called Harper to share the awful news. He explained that they wouldn’t be back for a couple weeks.

  However, hearing her sweet tone made it hard to hang up the phone. It offered great comfort. He hoped that it’d be enough to hold him over until she was back in his arms.

  Time went by quickly. The service was planned for the following Sunday, which meant spending time with their extended family and helping make arrangements, at least for Nik. Jett did the only thing he knew, adverted the crisis with a bottle of vodka.

  On the day of the service, Robert frantically raced around the house, searching for him. “Nik, where’s your dad?”

  “Sitting out back.”

  He looked at his watch. “Is he ready to go?”

  “I don’t think so.” Nik wiped the blood from his mouth.

  “Wait, are you bleeding?”

  “Yeah.”

  “My God.” Robert pulled the handkerchief from his pocked and dabbed Nik’s mouth. “Are you all right?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine.”

  Robert’s eyes bugged out of his head. “What was his reason this time?”

  “I told him to get dressed ‘cause we’d be late. That’s when he told me to F-off. Then he hit me.”

  Robert stormed across the living room like a hurricane and bolted through the screen door.

  Before Jett could blink, Rob threw a strong punch into his face.

  “God damn it, Robbie, what the hell’s the matter with you?”

  “Why’d you hit Nik?”

  “That boy knows better than to boss his old man around.”

  “Your brother’s funeral is in less than three hours. Can’t you act civil for once? Pull it together. C’mon, we’ve gotta get to the church.”

  “You guys go on without me. I’ll be there in time for the service.”

  “What’s this about?”

  “It ain’t about nothing,” Jett growled. “I’m just upset.”

  Robert’s mud brown eyes lit on fire. “And the rest of us aren’t? We’re all hurting.”

  “You don’t get it.”

  “No I do. It all makes perfect sense. You lost a brother, and you want everyone to feel sorry for you. You seem to forget that we all lost someone, like Nik losing an uncle, or me losing a husband.”

  “Yeah, but he was my only brother. I’m in the most pain.”

  “That’s bullshit. All you wanna do is get hammered. Sorry, but I’m not letting you use my husband’s death as an excuse to binge out.”

  “Screw you, Robbie. Everyone handles things their own way.”

  “Right, like you running away and letting everyone else clean up the mess. I figured today would be different, out of respect for Jim, but he’s still not important enough to you.”

  “You don’t know shit about Jimmy and me.”

  “When was the last time you came to visit, or called to check on him? Every time he tried reaching out, you were too damn busy, probably out blowing your paycheck at the liquor store.”

  “I’m not putting up with this. We’re going home right now.”

  “That wouldn’t surprise me.”

  “You think I’m joking? We’re leaving.”

  “Jim wouldn’t be surprised to know you skipped his funeral.”

  “Please, you fixed up this whole fight to make sure I wouldn’t be there. You never liked me or wanted me to be close to him. That’s why you took him so far away.”

  “That’s the furthest thing from the truth.”

  “You won’t even let me speak at his funeral.”

  “He wouldn’t have wanted it that way.”

  “How the hell would you know that?”

  “Because you made him feel like he was worthless. Why do you think we moved here?”

  “Bye Robbie. Have a nice, miserable life—alone. You may have been able to fool my brother, but I doubt you’ll be able to find another man to put up your shit.” Jett raced into the house.

  Robert followed closely behind. “You still blame me for the failed relationship between the two of you.”

  “Hell yeah I do. He changed after you guys met, became someone completely different. If you can’t see that, then you must be blind.”

  “You’re right. He did change. Jim became his own person. He didn’t have to look out for you anymore. He could focus on his own life. Do you have the slightest idea how draining you are? You pushed him away. And to set the record straight—I never came between you two. In fact, I was the one always encouraging him to reach out over the years, so you could rebuild the relationship. If it was up to Jim, you never would’ve spoken again. So before you start throwing accusations around, you should get your facts straight. Now get the hell outta my house and outta my life. You’re a disgrace to the whole family.”

  Jett ignored Robert and looked directly at Nik. “Pack,” he ordered.

  “Nik, you can ride with me to the service. I’ll drive you back to Michigan next week.”

  Jett dashed out of the room and put his hands on Robert’s throat. “Listen to me, you might have taken my brother, but you ain’t taken my boy. He’s coming with me.”

  Nik awkwardly stared between the men, trying to figure out what to do.

  “Pack your shit and let’s go. I ain’t telling you again.”

  “But Dad, I wanna go to the funeral.”

  “Do I look like I’m joking right now? Move.”

  The early morning light seared through the dusty windshield and burned their exhausted eyes. As they crossed into Illinois, Jett pulled off I-90 and headed into a small town called Rockton.

  “Where are we going?” Nik asked.

  “We’re taking a detour.”

  “Off the interstate?”

  “Yes, Nikolas. Is that all right with you?”

  “It doesn’t make any sense. We need to go towards Chicago.”

  “We ain’t in a rush to get back. We’re already heading home early. Ain’t that what you wanted?”

  “No, that’s what you wanted. I wanted to go to the funeral and be there for our family.”

  Jett refused to dignify his comment with a response. Instead, the men sat quietly as they made their way down the bumpy road, heading into the downtown district.

  “My dad grew up here. God, I haven’t been back since I was a boy. He took Jimmy and me out fishing in that river on his little canoe. It’s just so different than Silver Shores, ain’t it?”

  “Yeah, instead of sandy beaches and the lake, it’s surrounded by corn fields and dust. I see why you’d wanna return and let the magic touch you all over again.”

  “You don’t get it, Nikolas. You’re too damn young. Sometimes there are places and things in life that mean so much to one person, but mean nothing to another.”

  “Like the way we feel about certain people?”

  “Sure.”

  “I mean, look at you and Uncle Jimmy. He seemed to be your best friend and then it all changed.”

  “Yeah, too bad he forgot what’s important. He’d been so damn occupied with Robbie that he didn’t have
time for me anymore.”

  “The reason you guys stopped talking had nothing to do with Uncle Robbie.”

  “Depends on how you look at it. To me, it’s all Jimmy’s fault ‘cause he let Robbie come between us.”

  “He grew up, Dad. He did what he needed to do. If he felt guilty for anything that happened between you guys, I’m sure he was adult enough to accept some of the blame.”

  “That ain’t true. Don’t talk about shit you know nothing about.”

  Nik knew if he shared any more of his honest thoughts, he’d catch the taste of Jett’s backhand. He was done talking to the exhausting man. “Dad, can you pull over at that gas station? I need to use the restroom.”

  As soon as they parked, Nik made a beeline inside to the payphone. He held the receiver in his palm and frantically dialed Harper’s number, anxious to inform her of the change of plans.

  He glanced at the old fashioned clock hanging above the front door, certain she’d be awake and eating breakfast by then. She should’ve been home, but the ringing buzzed in his ear for a couple minutes. No one was answering.

  Nik dialed three more times before giving up. He couldn’t imagine her leaving so early in the day. However, he figured if he could keep Jett focused, they’d be home in time for Nik to meet up with her that afternoon.

  Unfortunately, Jett wasn’t done strolling down memory lane. After they’d driven through every inch of Rockton, they parked on a gravel road. It separated the river from the cemetery, an odd place for fishing, Nik thought.

  Jett got out, lit a cigarette, and cracked open a beer from the cooler. He sat on the flimsy picnic bench and stayed there for hours, staring off into nothing.

  Nik eventually got out and sat on the hood of the truck, studying his dad’s peculiar behavior. It seemed like he was tied to the place, as if it were his strange way of paying tribute to the memory of his brother.

  He wondered if the veiled guilt was beginning to eat at Jett.

  As ready as he was to leave, it was a relief to see his dad taking a moment to reflect. Jett may not have been wiping tears from his face, but Nik knew that revisiting a childhood memory may have been cathartic. So instead of rushing him, Nik just let it be.

  After the six hour detour, the men were back in the truck, cruising down the interstate. They didn’t exchange a single word, riding quietly through the bustling metropolis of Chicago and all of Indiana. It wasn’t until they crossed back into Michigan, as night began to fall, that the silence was broken.

  “You ready for school to start in a couple weeks?”

  "Thrilled,” he said sarcastically.

  "You going out for any sports this year?”

  “I don’t play sports, remember?”

  “I know, but I thought maybe with it being senior year that you’d try out for the football team, just like your old man.”

  “I wouldn’t be any good.”

  “Don’t know unless you try. If your father didn’t throw it away, I have some old football gear in the back of the garage. We could put it on and toss a ball around.”

  “No thanks, Dad.” Nik was surprised and annoyed. The normally stoic man, who usually refused to share anything more than the air he soiled with second hand smoke, suddenly wanted to talk his ear off.

  “Did you get your class schedule for the first semester?"

  “Yeah.”

  “What are you taking?”

  “Creative Writing, English, Theater—”

  “Theater?”

  “Yeah, it’s an acting class.”

  “Aren’t those classes for queers?”

  “They’re for people who like acting.”

  “Back in my day, those classes were filled with them so be careful. I don’t want you getting involved in any of that funny business, Nikolas. You need to be a man’s man, just like me.”

  It took every ounce of self-control to keep from popping Jett in the jaw.

  “I don’t get why you kids take these damn blow-off classes. How the hell are you preparing for a real life career?”

  “It’s something I’m interested in. Why does it matter?”

  “It’s a waste of my tax dollars. How the hell are you gonna learn real life skills in theater? Nikolas, you need to start thinking about your future and making serious plans. You'll need to find a job and a husband so you can settle down. I ain't gonna be supporting your ass forever, Kid.”

  “I know, Dad—”

  “Look at me. I met your father when we were freshman in high school.”

  “Yeah and look how well that turned out,” he muttered under his breath.

  “Have you started thinking about what you wanna do for a job after graduation? You could work construction like me. It pays well and you’re strong enough to do the heavy lifting. Besides, you like being outside. It’d be perfect.”

  “Nah.”

  “What’s wrong with construction?”

  “That’s what everyone in Silver Shores does. I want something different.”

  “There ain’t much going on in the area where you can earn that kind of money, unless you can get into the factory, but they’re talking layoffs again.”

  “I’m not worried about money the way you are.”

  “Well you should be. How else are you gonna support a family? It’s time to grow up and figure out what the hell you want.”

  “I have a plan, Dad.”

  “And what plan is that?”

  “I’m gonna be a writer.”

  “A writer?”

  “Yeah.”

  “How could you turn that into a career?”

  “Silver Shores has a newspaper.”

  “The Chronicle’s been run by the same five people for the last thirty years. Someone would literally have to die before they hired more staff.”

  “It just so happens that they have an opening for an internship.”

  “Yeah? What’s it paying?”

  “Nothing at first, but I know that once they see my potential, they'll hire me full time.”

  “So they wouldn’t be paying you anything?”

  “No.”

  “That seems like a solid plan.” Jett raised his eyebrows. “Let me spell it out for you…at the end of the day, zero dollars ain’t gonna put food on your table or gas in your car.”

  “Dad, I’m not an idiot. I could also get an overnight job somewhere else, but at least I'll have a chance to do what I want while getting my foot in the door.”

  “That sounds really stupid. Wake up, Nikolas. They just need some help, so they’re gonna trick some half-wit into working for free.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “It’s not? How does it work then? Do you write for free and bust your ass for six months, or a year? Then by the time you’re fed up with their shit and asked to get paid, they let you go? You’re gonna throw away an eight hour day with nothing to show for it. Then you’re gonna go work some shitty third shift job with no quality of life. Sounds like a smart plan to me.”

  “At least I’d be doing something I loved.”

  “You don’t know the first thing about writing. You ain’t serious about nothing except bumming around at the beach.”

  “You really know me, don’t you?"

  “Of course I do. You’re my kid.”

  “I’ve been writing since I was ten years old. I write stories and have kept a journal that I still write in every day. I have shoeboxes full of my work at home if you don’t believe me.”

  “Yeah, sure.”

  “I’m serious.”

  Jett reluctantly put his cigarette out in the ashtray as they took the exit for Silver Shores. “What’s some made up story gotta do with a newspaper and real life? Besides, there ain’t nothing to report about around here. This is a small town with small folk and small problems. Everyone knows each other’s business. The biggest news around these parts is whether or not Old Man Winston will keep his harvest so kids can buy pumpkins for Halloween. That’s it. Bottom line, it’s
a waste of time.”

  “See, this is why I can’t frickin' talk to you.”

  “Why, ‘cause I’m realistic?”

  “No, ‘cause you’re an asshole.”

  Jett reached across the seat and struck Nik upside the head. “Watch yourself, Boy. I’m trying to turn you into a man and get you on the right track."

  “You asked me a question. So now that I’m actually being honest, you think I'm a screw up.”

  “You said it, not me."

  Nik rolled his eyes. “I wish you could believe in me a little bit. It may not pay at first, but eventually it could really take off. I could make a career out of it.”

  “Be realistic. Writing’s not a career. It's just some stupid hobby. It’s a waste of time and you ain’t doing it. End of discussion.”

  “A waste of time? It’s something I love, but you’ll never understand that ‘cause you’ve never loved anyone except yourself.”

  “Shut up, Boy.”

  “You know I'm right. Just look at you and Father. He left you for a woman.”

  “Knock it off.”

  “Who could blame him? You treated him like shit. No wonder he wanted to be with a woman. They’re caring and sensitive.”

  Jett slapped Nik. The raw sting felt like needles burning into his flesh. “You don’t know nothing, and don’t go talking about all that queer shit. It ain’t true.”

  “Wake up, Dad. We both know what he did, but you choose to ignore it because it doesn’t fit into your image of how the world should be. He’s straight and he’s with a woman who makes him happy. You need to accept that.”

  “Stop!” he yelled.

  “He’s never coming home. Besides, why would he wanna? What reason would he ever have to return to you?”

  “Because we’re a family.”

  “No, we were a family, a messed up one.”

  “He’ll come to his senses. Just wait, you’ll see.”

  Nik smirked. “I wish I was as delusional about reality as you are. I’ve got news for you, Dad. He already came to his senses. That’s why he’s gone.”

  “I told him I’d cut back the drinking, but he left anyway.”

  “Yeah, but how many times have you promised to quit?”