Damned and Desirable (Eternally Yours Book 2)

by Tara West

  Honestly, I could have marched into the common room and demanded Margot get off the phone. I could have called Boner and asked him to bring my Jack back. But then I wouldn’t have seen my old friends at Delta House. I wouldn’t get the chance to walk across the squeaky floorboards and watch Delta’s resident psychic, Basil, hunt for imaginary flies. And I wouldn’t have gotten one more chance to see Sarge. Just a quick “hello” and a hug goodbye, just to see if that spark I’d felt earlier could be rekindled. Hopefully, the flame had been extinguished, reminding me that I’d made the right choice in picking Aedan, even if he’d chosen me for the wrong reasons.

  As long as there wasn’t a spark, I could take Jack home and go to bed in peace. I’d tell myself I was devoted to the right guy, even if he was bound to break my heart. But if I still felt something for Sarge—a longing to wrap my arms around his neck and run my fingers through that thick, coarse hair, a need to feel his body pressed against mine while savoring the taste of his kiss—I wouldn’t act on my desires, not until I made the trek back up the hill to Alpha House and broke it off with Aedan. Because despite all my flaws that had somehow earned me barely enough credits to get into the bottom rung of Purgatory, I was not a cheater. I would tell Aedan to try to make peace with Marie, that she was obviously better suited for him than I was, and then I’d seek solace in Sarge’s arms. Only that plan didn’t seem right, either, seeking comfort from another when I couldn’t have my first choice. Sarge was a good guy, and he deserved better than what Aedan had done to me.

  Awww, screw it! I’m going to Delta House.

  My old bad girl self kicked my new good girl self to the curb, and without another thought, I cast a furtive glance over my shoulder to make sure nobody was watching and padded down the hall. The nearest exit was through the garden room, and it was definitely that, only instead of growing real stuff we could eat, Shadow cultivated all kinds of exotic flowers and strange, spindly plants. The place was like a rainforest, some of the plants taller than me, overshadowing the wicker furniture and four glass cabinets that held dozens of antique tea sets.

  I slipped inside the room, the humidity hitting me like a fog, and closed the stained-glass door carefully. Thankfully, all of the hinges at Alpha House were squeak-free and the door didn’t stick. I backed up and slowly turned around, ready to make a run for it, and I saw Shadow sitting in an oversized, white wicker chair, staring at me over the rim of his porcelain tea cup.

  I plastered on my best impassive expression, praying he hadn’t noticed my “Oh, shit, I’ve been caught” face. Smiling, I smoothed a hand down my jeans and strolled over to him.

  He was drinking tea and eating scones while reading The Trumpeteer, Purgatory’s leading newspaper. He assessed me before setting his tea cup and paper down, the whites of his eyes standing out against his dark skin. It was so hard to gauge what he was thinking because he always had this disinterested, smug expression. I couldn’t tell if he was pissed, annoyed, or bored. Of one thing I was certain, he was far from impressed.

  “Good evening, Ashley.” He dabbed the corners of his mouth with a cloth napkin before folding it and setting it on the table.

  “Hi.” I made a big show of waving as I crept toward him, knowing full well I had guilt plastered all over my face.

  His assessing gaze traveled the length of my body. “Where are you off to this evening?”

  No sense in lying, and no, I wasn’t trying to be a good girl again. I just got this creepy feeling Shadow would know if I wasn’t telling the truth. “I’m going to get Jack at Delta House.” I thumbed toward the french doors behind me. “I’ll be right back.”

  He stood and walked up to me, his lanky frame towering over me like a bent pine. “Ashley, when we’re on lockdown, you are not to leave this house for any reason.” He spoke to me like I was Jack and I’d just been caught drag racing my ass across the carpet.

  I put my hands together in a prayer pose, trying to channel my best pitiful puppy expression as I looked up at him with wide eyes. “I’m a really fast runner. I promise I’ll be back in twenty.”

  I crossed my fingers he’d say yes, even though I knew it was a long shot.

  He heaved a sigh, shaking his head, his eyes filling with a mixture of annoyance and maybe something else, as his thin lips pulled back into a smile. Was that humor? He probably thought I was an idiot.

  “Delta House is a quarter mile away,” he said. “What if we’re summoned to a ghosting?”

  “Margot is hogging the phone. How am I supposed to get my dog?” As I jutted my hands on my hips and pouted, I realized I was acting about half of my twenty-nine years. I couldn’t help it. My existence sucked. I was trapped inside my home, a slave to my job, and stuck in a relationship that was built on lies. For my own peace of mind, I needed to get the hell out, even if it was for a quick jog to a house down the road. Couldn’t Shadow see I was going crazy here?

  When his smug smile widened, my internal temperature soared. Guess he didn’t give a shit.

  “The elevators are reserved for ghosting assignments, but I suppose I can make an exception.”

  My heart leapt into my throat. Had he just given me permission to leave? Wait a minute. Had he just told me to use the elevator? I thought elevators only took us up and down different levels of Purgatory and to Earth, not across the same dimension. The common room elevator was much like the elevator in Delta’s common room. We’d used it to travel to level one, otherwise known as Earth, for our hauntings, and then back up to our house on level thirteen.

  I narrowed my eyes. “The elevator can take me to Delta House?”

  “Not that elevator,” he chuckled, “but I have one in my chamber. How else do you think I manage thirteen ghosting units?”

  Oh, that made sense. I hadn’t realized Purgatory had those kinds of elevators. Usually, when I wanted to get around level thirteen, I had to take a taxi or walk. Shadow’s elevator must have been a rare luxury. Then again, Alpha House had an extensive wine room and a grand piano.

  I quirked a brow at my boss, wondering why he was being so nice, and hoping it had nothing to do with my Double Ds. They’d gotten me all kinds of unwanted attention from bosses back on Earth, but I’d always had the notion Shadow didn’t have a thing for girls, or boys for that matter. From first impression, my boss had struck me as the kind of man who was only attracted to himself. “And you’ll let me use your elevator to get Jack?”

  “You’re not authorized to use it. I’ll have to go with you.”

  “Thanks.” I offered him my warmest smile.

  Weird, how his features were suddenly unreadable. No sign of arrogance or annoyance. It was as if his face was a blank slate, his eyes, two lifeless, hollow wells.

  His mouth cracked, just a little, like a ripple in a smooth pool of water. “My pleasure.”

  A shiver stole up my spine as he placed a hand on the small of my back and led me toward his room. I did my best to shake off the sudden feeling of panic that wedged in my chest like a lead ball as my numb legs led me forward. My mom had always told me to trust my gut, and right now it was telling me to run, but Shadow was my boss. I shouldn’t have any reason to fear him, right?

  Shadow’s room was even more elegant than I’d imagined. The walls were covered in rich, burgundy velvet drapes and the place smelled of deep, dark incense. His bed, if you could call it that, was a hole in the center of the room. I knew there was a mattress buried beneath the embroidered cushions and heavy quilts, but all I could think of was quicksand. If I had a bed like that, I’d never get out of it. From somewhere behind the drapes, I heard the faint sound of a harp. The place was like something out of Arabian Nights or maybe Cleopatra’s den.

  A few nights ago, Aedan had told me Shadow was a Thirteener, a permanent resident of Purgatory. Like Aedan, Shadow had chosen to remain here rather than ascend to paradise. Now I knew why. He’d created his own paradise, plus he got to kick demon ass for a living. Now all he needed to make his afterlife complete w
as to get laid, but what did I know. Maybe he snuck a private concubine in through his secret elevator. Although I seriously doubted it. The guy had a stick wedged so far up his ass, he was practically choking on it.

  I stood to the side, that uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach threatening to loosen its way down my bowels as Shadow pulled back one of the drapes on the wall. Sure enough, there was an elevator with a gleaming brass door. It couldn’t have been much bigger than a phone booth. I knew it would be a tight fit for the both of us. When the door slid open, revealing a dimly lit chamber, he grabbed my elbow, ushering me forward. I had the overwhelming urge to turn and run.

  The space was so tight, I didn’t see what button he pressed, but when I felt a lurch and that queasy feeling like my gut had moved into my ribcage, I could have sworn we were moving down, not to the side. Shouldn’t we be moving to the side since we were traveling on the same level? I reminded myself that afterlife elevators took souls to different dimensions. We weren’t going up or down, anyway. That brought me little comfort, especially since this elevator was so dark, I could barely make out my hand in front of my face.

  “So you take this elevator often?” I asked, feeling the need to fill our cramped space with something other than the sound of my pounding heart.

  “Rarely,” he said, and then didn’t offer further explanation.

  Weird how he’d gone so cold. Not that Shadow wasn’t normally aloof, but the guy beside me was like a tower of ice. And the further we descended, the harder it was for me to see. I tried my best to steady my breathing, my chest tightening with fear, when I realized there was no way Jack was fitting inside this elevator with us. Surely Shadow would have known there would be no room for my dog. Why would he take me in this elevator? Was he expecting me to jog back?

  I sucked in a breath when the elevator dinged and Shadow ushered me off, not with a hand on my back but with a hard shove. I nearly tripped over my own feet as I stumbled out.

  “Hey, watch it!” I cried.

  Something crunched beneath my shoes, and I almost fainted from fright when I looked down and saw the hollowed eyes of a skull staring back at me. Bones! I was standing on human bones! I spun a quick circle, more crunching beneath my feet as the wind whooshed from my lungs. This was not freaking Delta House! This was a cave littered with human remains.

  I looked up at Shadow. “Where the hell am I?”

  He folded his hands in front of him and smiled. “We have to catch one more elevator, and then we’ll be there.”

  Eyeing him warily I took a step back as I held out my hands, feeling the ball of energy radiate from my chest into my fingertips. I was on level one, Earth. I knew this because I could materialize my wind, and I couldn’t access that power in Purgatory. I also knew that level one wasn’t safe for ghosters unless we traveled in groups because demons haunted there, too, searching for souls to take to Hell.

  Ice-cold shards of fear caused my breath to come in shallow gasps. I’d have to use my powers against my boss. I had no idea who he was pretending to be, but I knew without a doubt he was batting for the wrong team.

  He took a step forward, lifting a hand. “Come, Ashley.”

  That’s when I saw it, a flash of red beneath his hooded gaze. Demon! my conscience warned me. Fight!

  “No!” I boomed before blasting him with all my might. The whites of his eyes bulged as he flew into the shadows. I barely registered the sound of his body crashing into a pile of bones, and then I turned and ran back toward the elevator.

  Chest heaving, I hit the button for level thirteen, but the damn door wouldn’t shut. I screamed at the elevator and hit the button to close it, but the door still wouldn’t budge.

  A rolling wave of nausea washed over me when a shadow filled the doorway, turning the elevator so black, I couldn’t even see to think. It was as if it had not only darkened my sight, but my mind, too. I spun in a circle as my head swirled in confusion. I had no idea which way was out or where I was.

  “How did I know you’d be a problem?” Shadow’s low, dark voice was a sibilant hiss in my ear. “Good thing you’re not as smart as you are powerful.”

  I screamed, and then my world went dark.

  Crap, my head hurt! I cracked open one eye and then the other, a wave of nausea rolling over me when I saw the ground passing by in a darkened blur. Where the hell was I and why was my world turned upside-down? I struggled to rise, but

  something was pressing on my backside. I tried to kick, but my legs were bound together.

  “Keep steady,” a low rumble warned. I recognized that voice. My boss, Shadow.

  Wait a minute! Shadow!

  I shrieked at the memory of Shadow’s attack.

  I was draped over his back, and he was taking me somewhere. But where? Sweat rolled down my neck and dampened my hair. Wherever we were, it was more hot and humid than my vagina had been after a week-long Florida spring break screw session with Chet from Louisiana State. I’d met him by the cabana pool that first night after drinking a copious amount of rum. He hadn’t been very tall, but what he lacked in height, he made up for in sex drive. Plus, he’d said all the right things, like how we could make a long distance relationship work, yada yada yada. It wasn’t until after my sorority sisters and I piled into our compact rental car that I noticed the itch. The itch had turned into an all-out burn by the time we caught our red-eye flight back to Seattle. Next day I found myself in the campus GYN’s office, flames practically shooting out of my crotch as I moaned and squirmed on the table. After a heavy duty prescription and several angry text messages to Chet, the burn finally subsided. But I’d never forget that awful feeling. That was how my entire body felt now, as if I was being suffocated in a giant, flaming vagina.

  Level two had been hot and humid, but not this bad. This kind of heat made my skin itch as if I’d spent too many hours in the sun. And that’s when it hit me.

  Holy fuck, I’m in Hell!

  “Let me go!” I screamed as I pounded his back with my fists. I tried to spread my fingers as I summoned my wind, but something was restricting my hands. I squinted, trying to get a clear view of my hands, and saw they were bound and tied up in a sack.

  When Shadow abruptly stopped, I had this crazy notion he’d actually listened to my command. That he’d turn around and bring me back to the safety of level thirteen.

  But then I froze when I heard the distinct sound of boots marching up to us. “You’re back. That wasn’t long.” The man’s voice sounded scratchy, gruff, as if he’d just finished an evening meal of charcoal and sandpaper.

  “Only fifty years,” came Shadow’s casual reply. “Take me to my master. I have a present for him.”

  Present? As in me? Master? Like a demon or (shudder) Satan?

  Shadow must have been one evil dude. I only wondered how a demon had been in Purgatory all this time without getting caught. I thought our elevators had some kind of sensors to prevent intruders from ascending.

  The boots shuffled much too close to me, and I jerked when two glowing eyes peered up at me from beneath a face shrouded in matted brown hair. He looked like a demon Sasquatch.

  The creature scratched the top of his head, pieces of scalp floating to his furry shoulders, before he pointed up at me with a knotted stub, or maybe it was a partial finger. “What is it?”

  I could almost envision Shadow’s devious smile as his answer ripped through my chest like a meat cleaver. “A fallen angel.”

  Galveston Texas

  September 8, 1900

  Aedan O’Connor

  I woke to the sounds of howling winds rattling the shutters on my window, like a phantom spirit arisen from the dead, searching to steal lost souls.

  The storm was worsening. Though many a Galvestonian had said the hurricane would never reach our shallow shores, I feared a tempest was indeed on the horizon.

  I sat up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes, wincing at the pain in my back. These hard cots were hardly made for sleeping.


  I’d moved into a boarding house the night before, sharing a room with three other dockworkers. We’d been packed in like sardines, and I couldn’t sleep a wink, not just because of my roommates’ rumbling snores, but because of the heaviness in my heart, settling like a stone as I tried to make sense of my life.

  Callum hadn’t shown up to work that morning. Some of the other dock workers said they’d seen him heading back to Ritter’s with a bruise the size of Texas across his cheek.

  Bastard though he was, I still worried for my brother. I didn’t want him to turn into a drunk.

  After putting in only a few hours at the docks, Mr. Ball sent us all home. Unfortunately, the foul weather hadn’t abated. Ocean waves pushed freighters around like toy boats, and we could no longer work through blustering winds.

  Mentally and physically exhausted, I thought to catch a few hours of sleep before retrieving the rest of my things from home. I’d already resolved to sell the house and bring Katherine back to her parents. If anyone could set her on the path to redemption, it was her mother and father, good, pious people who would hopefully instill the fear of God in her soul.

  I had no idea what I’d do from there. Perhaps I’d head out West. Mar’s older brother had a thriving business in Seattle, and he’d already written offering me a job. Though I knew I no longer had a future in Galveston, I could hardly think of a life worth living without my brother by my side.

  All my life Callum had been there for me through thick and thin. I tried to reconcile his deception, but I couldn’t let it go. Callum should have risen above Katherine’s temptation. He’d thrown away twenty-eight years of loyalty and brotherhood for a few moments between her thighs.

  His betrayal had not only shattered my trust, he’d broken my spirit. How could he? And would I ever find it in my heart to forgive him?