THE BIG MOVE (Miami Hearts Book 2)

by Lexie Ray

  “Please don’t call me,” I muttered, and hung up the phone. He would never understand. He would never understand because I would never tell him.

  The shifts I’d begged off from the snack shop and the club became mine again after I begged to have them back.

  “What happened with the date?” Parker asked me in passing after I stayed late for the cleaning crew at the end of the night. I never did that anymore, preferring to spend time with Xander after his shift ended. What I hadn’t known, however, was that he’d just gotten off patrol, putting away people who were doing illegal things.

  People like me. I was the very definition of illegal.

  “I don’t think it’s going to work out,” I said, smiling and shrugging even as I felt my heart breaking. I couldn’t stand to be so flippant about it. I wanted desperately for it to work out, but it just couldn’t. We were from two different worlds, and they could never collide without smashing us both to bits.

  “You’re different, Sol,” Jennet observed as we organized a shipment of supplies on the shelves of the snack shop. “You’ve been so happy lately. I had loved what Xander’s doing to your mood, but you don’t seem happy anymore. Is everything all right with you two?”

  Jennet was my friend, but the last time I’d tried to be honest with her, I’d nearly blurted out everything.

  “Rocky patch,” I said, shoving a soda into the refrigerator more forcefully than I needed to.

  “The road to happily ever after is full of thorns,” Jennet commiserated. “You’ll get there, Sol.”

  But why did it feel like I’d never get there? The happily ever after that Jennet seemed to believe in unfailingly seemed well out of reach for me. Happily ever afters were only for real people, people who had a right to exist. Xander had made all that minutiae fall away, had made me believe that maybe I was more than simply a piece of paper and a stamp that said I was allowed to be here.

  And at the same time, I couldn’t trust him. It was maddening, mind-boggling, and the most frustrated I’d ever felt in my entire life.

  I went home late, eager to work myself into the stupor where all I had energy to do was collapse on the couch and sleep. I feared that I’d be plagued with sleeplessness, and doubt always invaded the long nights where I’d stare at the dark ceiling.

  Sleep wouldn’t come, of course, and I tossed and turned. One good thing was that I could maybe save enough money for a real bed, or a real apartment, even. Now that there was no ransom to pay. No migratory journeys to fund. Nothing else to do with my money except spend it on myself.

  I frowned. I realized that I’d been hearing a persistent ringing sound for nearly half a minute now. It didn’t fit in with the regular night sounds of Miami — the sirens, the engines gunning of drivers with too much testosterone, the wind through the palms when there weren’t any cars. The wind through the palms was nice, but this ringing didn’t fit into place.

  It was less of a ring than it was a jingle, like a little bell tinkling again and again. What the hell was going on? I checked my phone for the time — nearly four in the morning. I’d left the club more than an hour ago. All of the lights in my neighboring apartments were off, and I never heard anyone up this late.

  I rolled off the couch, kissing my chances for even a few minutes of sleep good-bye. Once I was up, I was up. I had too much trouble winding down. Maybe I could find something to clean in the apartment.

  But that damn ringing intrigued me as much as it grated on my nerves. What in the hell could that be?

  I sidled up to my window and peered through the blinds. The ringing was most definitely coming from outside.

  The last thing I was expecting was to see Xander standing down in the parking lot, a bicycle at either hand, resolutely mashing his fingers against the tiny little bells affixed to their handlebars.

  “Shut the fuck up!” someone from within the apartment complex roared, and I ducked down in panic. This wasn’t a great neighborhood, and I could see things quickly escalating if I didn’t get Xander to stop ringing those bells.

  I threw my door open and shushed him loudly. “What do you think you’re doing? Are you crazy?”

  “Crazy for you,” he said, continuing to ring the bells.

  “Stop that!” I scolded. “You’re keeping everyone awake. Don’t you know what time it is?”

  “It’s time for us to complete our bike tour,” he said. “I rented the bikes from the same vendor, got the same map. He told me I could keep the bikes out overnight for an additional fee.”

  “It’s four in the morning,” I said. “Now’s not the time to ride bikes.”

  “This is the time most motherfuckers are sleeping!” someone hollered. “For Christ’s sake!”

  “Seriously!” I hissed as Xander set his jaw and continued ringing. “You’re going to get your ass kicked, and maybe by me! Stop ringing those bells.”

  “Will you go on the bike tour with me tonight?” he asked, his fingers still mashing the buttons on the bells. They had to be tired.

  “You’re crazy,” I said. “Will you stop ringing the bells before someone murders you?”

  “I’ll stop ringing the bells if you agree to go with me, right now, on the bike tour,” he said.

  “Just fucking go with him, lady!” someone screamed.

  “I’ll go!” I said quickly. “Just stop, please!”

  The silence after all of that racket was almost deafening.

  “Just let me put some shoes on,” I said, hyperaware that probably every single person in this apartment complex was looking and listening.

  “I’ll be here,” he said, ringing the bell for emphasis.

  “She said she was going!” someone shouted.

  There was no traffic, just the wind in my hair as we pedaled off into the dark. Miami was a different place once the sun went down, a secret and magical place. It felt like we had the entire city to ourselves as we breezed through the traffic lights regardless of their color. The streets were empty. They belonged to us.

  Each rotation of the pedals on my bike helped ease my tension, erase the confusion over Xander’s sudden presence and his insistence on the bike tour. The strangeness of touring the nearly deserted city in the dead of night made all my other emotions drain away.

  Pedaling became the only thing that mattered.

  Xander and I rode in silence, as fast as we pleased, both of us agreeing on the same pace without saying a single word. I remembered the map, remembered the places we stopped first. There were fountains, historic buildings, statues, public art. When we reached the beach where we’d stopped that first afternoon, we pedaled on, Xander taking the lead. He was the one in control, now. He was the one with the map.

  The buildings glittered around us in the dark, their lights illuminated only for us. It was just as magical as I thought it would be, even more special because I knew that I loved Xander. I wasn’t free to love him, but I loved him all the same. I followed him through the intersections, down the side streets. I would follow him everywhere, if I could. I only wondered what his game was, why he was doing this.

  We rode until the sky purpled, until cars started appearing again on the streets, businesspeople and school children starting their days even as ours stretched on. We crossed a bridge and suddenly had unfettered views of the eastern horizon, lightening and melding colors I didn’t think any language had names for.

  We watched it, speechless, both of us slightly out of breath after our long ride.

  “Why the bike tour?” I finally asked, the glow of the sky continuing to brighten. The sun hadn’t made its debut, yet, but it was only a matter of time. “Why now? Why tonight?”

  “To remind you just how good it is when we’re together,” he said, looking at me. He was so beautiful in this light. It didn’t matter that sweat had soaked his shirt through. “We didn’t say a word to each other for hours, and it was just good to be together, wasn’t it?”

  “Of course it was,” I said. “I know we’re g
ood together. That was never the issue, Xander. I love you. You know that.”

  “I know that, and yet I don’t know why we can’t be together,” he said. “It doesn’t make sense to me. You’re in trouble with the law, is the closest answer I can come up with. I’ve gone over it again and again in my mind. I even tried to search you in our databases at work, but you weren’t there. You don’t have a record.”

  “I try to be good,” I said, looking at him, my lips trembling. “But I just don’t deserve you, okay? Can we leave it at that?”

  “I refuse to leave it at that,” he said. “I want to spend this sunrise together with you, and then I want every sunrise after that. I want all of them. I’m a selfish motherfucker, Sol. That’s something you’re going to learn about me because we’re going to be together. You make me feel too good. You make me too happy for me to let go of you. I refuse to.”

  I laughed at him, tears running down my face as the sun broke the red line of the horizon, bathing us in its golden light.

  “You can’t have everything you want,” I said. “Or else I would have you. You’re all I want, but it’s simply impossible.”

  He kissed each tear from my face as they fell, covering my cheeks with the tiniest, gentlest kisses I’d ever gotten.

  “Your tears look like liquid gold in this light,” he said softly, rubbing his thumb against my cheek. “They’re too precious to waste on me, Sol. This is hurting you. I can’t bear to hurt you. If you can give me a good enough reason, I’ll leave you alone. I’ll do that for you. I can’t stand these tears, beautiful girl.”

  My broken heart was breaking anew. Just how many pieces was it capable of breaking into? It hurt so much. I loved this man so much, and he was agreeing that he needed to let me go.

  “I just really don’t understand it, and you need to make me understand so I can leave with no regrets,” Xander said. “I could never forgive myself if this was something I could help you fix. You just don’t have a record, Sol. I don’t understand what you’ve done to think you can’t be with me because I’m a cop.”

  “It’s because I don’t have a record,” I said. “There are no records of me, are there?” My heart was racing, but this was how we were going to have to do this. He wouldn’t let me go until he had answers. This was how we were going to end it.

  Xander looked puzzled. “You’re right. Not even for the DMV — no driver’s license.”

  “I guess I shouldn’t have driven your convertible that first afternoon,” I said, smiling sheepishly. “Unlicensed drivers can get in big trouble, of course.”

  “You’re a good driver,” he said. “Why don’t you have a license?”

  “It’s because I’m in this country illegally,” I said.

  “But you’re Cuban,” he said. “Almost everyone’s granted asylum. Have you just not applied yet?”

  “I’m not Cuban.”

  I let that declaration sink in, let Xander absorb the magnitude of what that meant. He was silent for a long time, and I knew the puzzle pieces were falling into place. Why I was so scared when we were pulled over. Why I was cautious. Why I was secretive.

  Why we couldn’t be together.

  “Tell me everything,” he said. “From the beginning.”

  I felt like I owed him that. I took him through the streets of my old neighborhood in Tegucigalpa, showed him my father’s blood on the linoleum floor of his store. He met Antonio, the Antonio I’d fallen in love with, and he saw what the gangs did to boys and girls. He traveled with us on our flight from the city, lurked with us through jungles and alleyways alike. He road the train with us, swam with us, puzzled over maps and road signs in languages we barely understood. He started life over in Miami, faced down adversity, grabbed any job he could get and latched on. He was there when Antonio was deported, there when I was alone, there when I struggled with coming up with a ransom I was never quite sure I could get a hold of.

  He fell in love with me, fell in love with the impossibility of me, and saw how we could never, ever be together.

  “No,” Xander said, interrupting me. The brilliant colors of dawn had long since faded from the sky. It was going to be a beautiful day.

  “No, what?” I asked. I was tired, exhausted both physically and emotionally, drained of tears.

  “We can still be together.”

  “We can’t,” I said. “I can’t ask that of you. It was police who deported my boyfriend — or set it in motion, anyway. You know my status in this country. I can’t ask you to betray your duty to your job because of me. That’s not fair to you.”

  “You said you fled violence and corruption in your country,” Xander said, peering into my face.

  “That’s right.”

  “I think we could make a case for asylum,” he said.

  “It’s wishful thinking, Xander.”

  “It’s not,” he insisted. “You’d at least have a fighting chance in immigration court.”

  “And if I lose that chance?” I shook my head at him. “I can’t go back to Honduras. Don’t you see? It’s not safe. They’ll kill me.”

  “That’s the reason you’ll be granted the asylum,” he said, seizing me by my shoulders. “Don’t you see? No one in their right mind would send you back to your country. It would be a death sentence. It wouldn’t stand. When we get the press involved, it’ll blow up. It’ll be a huge story.”

  “There were so many people trying to leave,” I said. “I’m only one of many, many. Most of them get sent back.”

  “You’re going to have the best lawyer money can buy,” Xander vowed.

  “I don’t have the money …”

  “Enough!” he roared suddenly, making me jump, startled. “Do you love me?”

  “Of course I love you! It’s just that …”

  “Just that nothing,” he said, cutting the air with his hand. “Is this the only reason why you think we can’t be together? This simple little thing?”

  “It’s not simple,” I said. “It isn’t. It has been the greatest struggle of my entire life.”

  “I’m telling you that it’s simple,” he said. “I know people. I have money. There are strings I can pull. Favors I can call in. You have friends, too. Favors you can ask. If this thing is the only thing you think is keeping us apart, then I’m telling you right now that we can be together. It’s not a threat to my job. If it is, I’ll just quit.”

  “Xander …”

  “No,” he said. “No. This is real love, Sol. This is something I never had in my marriage, something I’ve never had in my whole life, something I didn’t even believe in. Nothing can make me walk away from this. I love you. I will move heaven and earth for you. You just have to let me. Will you let me?”

  I stared at him. Was it really as simple as he said? Could I really just let everything go, let him take care of me, ask my friends to throw their support behind me even if I’d been lying since day one?

  Was someone like me worth all that? Could I ask that of them?

  Could I ask that of Xander?

  “I want nothing more than to be with you,” I said. “I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

  “The only thing that hurts me is the idea of not being with you,” he said. “Can we be together?”

  I nodded, not sure I could trust my own voice.

  “Then nothing will ever hurt me again,” he said. “Come here.”

  His voice was rough as he took me into his arms, holding me so tightly I wondered if he thought I would try to run away from him, hop on the bike and flee.

  I never wanted to run away from anything ever again. I didn’t feel like I had to anymore. Not with Xander by my side.

  Epilogue

  Love was so special. Sure, you got the gross version in pornos and at sex clubs and strip joints — no offense to Faith and Sol, but it just wasn’t for me. And you got the idealized version in sob-fest romance novels and tearjerker date movies.

  But when you saw the real deal unfold, and triumph over eve
rything that life had put in its way, it was something you couldn’t ignore.

  Something you wanted. Something you were maybe just a little bit jealous about.

  I wasn’t a saint, so I couldn’t deny that seeing Sol with Xander — even after all of the heartache and uncertainty she endured through the immigration trial — made me a little envious. Everything had turned out okay, and Sol was granted asylum. They looked great together, first of all, and they truly cared for each other. Neither of them could stop grinning like fools when the other was around.

  And nothing I’d ever dreamed about could hold a candle to just how much Faith and Adam loved each other. They’d overcome tragedy and violence to discover that love really could conquer all.

  So when was my Prince Charming going to gallop in and sweep me away to my own happily ever after?

  I mean, don’t get me wrong. I loved my friends and was so happy for them, but there’s only so much a girl could do to cope with all this romance in the air. With my roommate in one serious relationship and my coworker in another, I couldn’t help but feel a little left out.

  Faith and Sol were great. They never rubbed their relationships in my face, and I was always eager and excited to hear the juicy little details about their significant others. The fact that Xander sang love ballads in the shower on a regular basis? Adorable. The fact that Adam thinks the cracks between the cushions on his couch are appropriate receptacles for his dirty socks? Disgusting and weird, but no less delightful to know.

  It was just hard sometimes to be single among all my friends and not get the chance to divulge my sweetheart’s quirky habits when sharing time rolled around.

  I admittedly had some pretty high standards. I didn’t want Mr. Almost Prince Charming. Life was too short to settle for something less than perfect. It was Prince Charming or no one, and I’d been pretty disappointed so far. Was there really someone for everyone out there, or was I doomed to be the princess exiled to her tower to spend all of life alone?