She cleared her throat. “Well, after the way you disappeared yesterday, I wasn’t sure if the duke himself would show up to toss me off his property.”
“I’m sorry about that.” Edmund’s gaze drove into her. “I haven’t shown my scars to anyone in a very long time. Ever actually. It was . . . too much for me.”
Guilt pricked her chest. “I owe you an apology as well. I shouldn’t have pressured you or-or touched you.”
A smile twisted the corners of his mouth. “Well, I’d be lying if I said I completely disliked the latter.”
Tingles of awareness raced across her flesh, discomforting her. She straightened her back. “So, did you come here to tend to the garden?”
Disappointment crossed his face before he masked it. “Truthfully, no. And, I see you didn’t come to garden, either.”
Her eyes widened in embarrassment as she realized her blunder in leaving her tools with her mare. “I-I . . . well—”
“Don’t fret.” Edmund took her arm and led her through the garden. “I’m flattered that you were anxious to see me. And, in honor of the mutual feeling, I say we finish our stroll from yesterday.”
Carolyn swallowed, but allowed him to lead her to the flowers. “I don’t see what you hope to gain from this.”
He halted them abruptly, and whipped around to face her, his blond locks fanning around his face. “I see. So, your curiosity has been satisfied. One look at my face, and you are done.”
The cool, emotionless tone stoked a fire in her. The idea that he would dismiss himself so easily, and that he assumed she would do the same, irked her. She lived with a man who held scars—physical and emotional ones. Of all people, she would be the last one to judge.
“How dare you accuse me of being so superficial? Your appearance has nothing to do with my confusion over our relationship.”
“Our relationship?” He took a step back from her, concern chasing away the previous lifeless emotion.
“Perhaps that isn’t the correct word.” She thought for a moment. “You see, we are simply clouds. Briefly taking in the stretch of scenery together, until a strong wind blows us in opposite directions. There is no reason for us to get to know one another better.”
His face relaxed as he moved closer. “Such a lonely existence.”
She shook her head. “No. I’m surrounded by people every day.”
A wry smile twisted his lips. “But, nonetheless lonely. It doesn’t matter how many people you have in your life if no one understands you. That is definitely something I can relate to.”
The look on his face, combined with his words, broke her heart. She understood his predicament as he understood hers. Having someone to know her—to really know her—was something she would never enjoy.
“What do you propose?”
He shrugged. “Perhaps while the wind is steady, we take in the scenery together.”
“And, afterwards?”
“We let the wind blow us as it will.”
Without responding, she allowed him to take her arm again and lead her down the path through the flowers. An uncomfortable ache opened up in her stomach at the idea of their time coming to an end. If she felt this way now, she could only imagine how hard it would become once she got to know him better.
She feared this would prove to be more difficult than she could handle.
Chapter 3
Edmund hefted the large rock over his head then walked the ten yards to the pile of stones, his muscles burning with the effort. As he deposited it on the stack, he was awarded with a brief respite while he jogged back to collect another. He pushed himself, ignoring the pain as he continued the exercise past the point where his arms could no longer lift another. Today he felt the need to push himself much greater than usual.
“Why do you keep doing this to yourself?” Thomas tossed a towel at Edmund, which he used to wipe sweat from his face, despite the cool weather. “There are much better ways to punish yourself.”
After carefully arranging his hair to cover his disfigurement, he studied his cousin. “I’m not punishing myself.”
Thomas laughed, but the sound held no amusement. “Your father has been dead for over a decade, yet you continually put yourself through the torture he designed for you. Why?”
The wind picked up, and Edmund turned his face from his cousin and closed his eyes. As a child, he had hated the pointless exercise of moving the pile of rocks, and when the chore had become easier, his father had only insisted the pile be larger and the rocks heavier.
Opening his eyes, he took in the sight of his substantial collection of stones. This is what made him strong and provided an outlet for his anger and frustration. If his father had known what the punishment would have brought him, he imagined the man never would have invented it.
“What would you have me do?” he demanded of Thomas, hating how his cousin insisted on questioning his every decision.
“That’s easy. Go find yourself a wife. That is a true punishment. Women are strange and frustrating creatures. Spend a few hours with one, and you will have your punishment.”
An unbidden smile tickled Edmund’s lips. “Having trouble with your Miss Ashford, are you?”
Thomas’s sigh could have moved a boulder. “I adore the girl, but I also want to strangle her.”
Surprised, Edmund slipped on his mask before facing his cousin once again. “You have feelings for her? I didn’t think that you—”
“Not those types of feelings. She is one of those special few who I am pleased to call a friend.”
Thoughts of Carolyn entered his mind. She was the only female Edmund would even consider calling a friend. A tingle of concern straightened his spine. Wasn’t one of the baron’s sister’s named Carolyn? It couldn’t be the same girl. Try as he might, he couldn’t recall if that Carolyn had been the one to marry recently.
“Tell me a little about Miss Ashford.”
With a brow raised, Thomas studied him, then shrugged. “She’s a sweet girl. Although I find her clothing choice lacking, when she dresses up she makes a fine picture.”
Edmund gritted his teeth. The description could be the majority of England by Thomas’s standards of dress. “What type of personality does she have? Is she prone to incessant chatter, or do you have to force the words from her throat?”
“Neither, actually. Her conversations flow naturally and we deal well together. However, if you are thinking of meeting her, I will warn you, she possesses an awkwardness around people she doesn’t know well. I’ve also noticed she has a great hesitation around men.”
Letting out a breath, Edmund smiled. This definitely wasn’t the Carolyn he knew. No shy or awkward lady would speak to him so directly. Or, touch his face so tenderly. His cheek tingled at the memory. It was an experience he wouldn’t mind repeating.
“That’s understandable. Well, she sounds agreeable. So, what’s the trouble? Why don’t you marry her and be done with it?”
With a roll of his eyes, Thomas flicked a speck of dirt from his jacket. “She refuses. The girl has it in her head that she wants to marry for love. Her sister—who turned down my suit a year ago—told her the silly emotion existed.”
The appalled look on Thomas’s face brought Edmund a round of mirth. Although, he knew love wasn’t something most people could experience, his cousin’s agony over it was amusing. Edmund was pleased to have made the decision to die alone.
“Laugh all you want,” Thomas intoned. “But, this is all your fault.”
“No, it isn’t. You’re picking the wrong females to court.”
Knowing Thomas chose the sisters of one of the men responsible for saving Edmund’s life made him a little uneasy. Was that why they both refused? Didn’t want to be aligned with a man who’d burned his face. Casting the thought as
ide, he tucked a stray lock his hair behind his ear. He refused to harbor any negative thoughts about the family of a man he owed so much.
Thomas straightened his spine. “Don’t speak ill of the baron’s sisters. I am fond of that family. Besides, do you think I have a large number of options to choose from? This isn’t exactly London.”
“What about the other lady? The one who wanted to move into the castle? You spoke of her for a time.”
“Lady Ellie? Dear God, none of us would have any peace with that one. She’d be worse than your mother.”
Edmund cringed at the thought. Perhaps Thomas had the right of it. The selection of a wife took a little more analyzing. An image of Carolyn entered his mind, and he had to repress a smile. The past fortnight of getting to know her had been rather pleasant. He imagined she would make an admirable wife for his cousin and be a joy to have around the castle.
Jealousy speared him as he thought about her married to Thomas. Besides, she’d already told him she didn’t intend to marry. Not to mention the fact that he didn’t know her social position. Her speech and appearance of good breeding could have been achieved by a mother who had been a governess. Or, someone who had higher aspirations for their child.
“Are you listening to me?”
Thomas’s question brought Edmund out of his reverie. He needed to stop doing this. Too many times in his day Carolyn would invade his mind. It was as though his every movement only existed to bring him to the moment he could escape to the garden and see her again.
“No,” Edmund answered honestly. “I’ve had a lot on my mind lately.”
A knowing smile crossed Thomas’s face. “Ah, yes. A large part of me wants to convince you to give in to her.”
Shock reverberated through Edmund’s body. Surely no one else knew about his visits with Carolyn. “What are you talking about?”
“Your mother. She’s been even more irritating since you denied her the ball she so desperately wants.”
Edmund relaxed his shoulders as he shook his head. The woman had been throwing tantrums ever since. He couldn’t imagine why people claimed he had a bad temper when she was the one who broke various items when in one of her rages.
“And, what would giving in prove? That if she pushes us hard enough she will get her way? No. To tell you the truth, if I didn’t need the woman to run the castle, I would have sent her to the dowager house long before now.”
His cousin shot him with pleading eyes as he gripped his hand. “Then, please marry. Get rid of that woman, and free me of my obligation. You know I won’t be happy with a wife.”
Shaking off his cousin’s grasp, Edmund walked a few paces away, to look out over the lake beyond the field. “And, are you prepared to tell Aunt Hannah about your decision not to marry?”
A look of panic crossed Thomas’s face. “I’d rather you tell my mother for me. She scares me. Honestly, I’d rather face my heartless step-brother than her.”
Edmund laughed. “Yes, the Earl of Dane has learned how to handle the woman much easier than you have.”
“Well, she’s not in control of his purse strings.”
“That may be the case now, but once you wed it will change. Aunt Hannah will be overjoyed when you provide her with a grandchild.”
“But, what if I don’t? Edmund, you can easily do this for yourself and free me from the obligation.”
“You know I can’t do that. I can’t pass on my blood—his blood—to another generation. The same rage my father held lives inside of me. No. It dies with me.”
“But, I share that blood, too. Passed down from our grandfather.”
Edmund whipped around so fast, Thomas jumped back. “No. Do not impugn that man’s name. Our grandfather had none of it. My father had the bad blood, and the courtesy to pass it on to me.”
With a shrug of his shoulders, Thomas’s face returned to his normal amused expression. “It doesn’t matter anyway. My mother is so desperate to see me inherit, it’s a wonder she hasn’t had you and Uncle Joseph killed.”
“That still may come to pass.” Edmund offered him a wry smile. “However, imagining your life with both our mothers, your wife, and the forty heirs Aunt Hannah insists upon, you should probably protect me with your life.”
Thomas laughed and clapped him on the back. “You have my undying loyalty and protection.”
As they made their way back to the castle, Edmund felt a stab of guilt. If he had been a normal man, his cousin would not be forced to take on the burden of procuring an heir for the dukedom. Instead, Thomas could be maintaining his previous lifestyle in London. That is, if Aunt Hannah allowed it.
He pushed the thought aside, for there was nothing he could do about it. There was no way Edmund would ever marry, and certainly no way he would pass on his father’s cursed blood.
~ ~ ~
“Make sure to hold him tight. He is always trying to squirm away.”
Carolyn didn’t acknowledge her sister-in-law, Annalise’s, remark. Instead, she kept her concentration on trying to keep a hold of the wiggly baby in her arms.
Clearly unhappy with his aunt, Jacob turned his wide eyes to her, gazing up as his lips trembled. Carolyn cringed, knowing what was next. Jacob’s loud wail elicited a sigh from his mother.
“I’m almost done, Sweeting. Mama will take you back in just a minute,” Annalise cooed to the baby as she finished fixing the bodice of her dress.
“Good. I can’t believe I’ve gone and broken him again.” Carolyn’s voice was very near to tears.
Annalise laughed as she took her now happy baby from Carolyn. “You haven’t broken him. You just need to treat him like he’s a person, not a foreign creature.”
It was Carolyn’s turn to sigh. “I don’t think I’ll ever be good with babies.”
“It will come to you,” Annalise promised, a knowing look in her eyes.
“I highly doubt that. Regardless, it doesn’t matter as I will never be in such a situation. Likely, I will not marry.”
“Nonsense.” Annalise balanced Jacob in her arms as she danced in place. “Mr. Avery came by again today while you were out. That’s the third time this week.”
Standing up, Carolyn crossed the room to look out of the window. She’d known it was only a matter of time before Annalise and Gordon would begin making assumptions about her and Mr. Avery.
“He is a dear friend. Nothing more.”
“I imagine that particular gentleman feels differently. Is that why you have been spending so much for your time away from the manor? For a while, I thought it was Jacob scaring you away.”
Alarm prickled her skin. This topic was more dangerous than the last. “Neither is correct. I simply enjoy being outdoors.”
“Yes. I’ve definitely learned that about you, but where do you go for all that time? Your mare never returns overly tired, so I suspect you provide her with a substantial break.”
Silence hung in the room as Carolyn stood motionless. She could never tell anyone about the secret garden. Nor could she tell them about Edmund. Their daily talks had become much too important to her. Just thinking about him made her long to forego her routine and head to the garden earlier today in hopes to see him. After all, she had given him a task the day before, and she was anxious to see his response.
“There’s my handsome, little man,” Gordon said in the high voice he reserved for his son as he entered the room. “I’ve been searching for you.”
As Annalise handed over her son, she gave her husband a mysterious look. “You missed getting him after his nap. Again.”
Gordon looked sheepish. “I’m so sorry. Perhaps I can make it up to you.” He turned to Carolyn and gave her a wink. “What do you think? Should we show her?”
Giving her brother an encouraging smile, Carolyn nodded. Gordon
had spent quite a bit of time renovating the atrium for Annalise. The thoughtfulness of gifting his wife with the room wasn’t something she would normally associate with her brother. Honestly, Carolyn could hardly believe it had been his idea.
“Show me what?” Annalise looked between the two of them in confusion.
“Come. Let’s allow the nurse to have some time with Jacob, then we can show you.”
“Why don’t the two of you go on without me? I don’t think I’ll be needed.” Not to mention, Carolyn had somewhere else she’d rather be.
“Are you sure?” Concern touched Gordon’s face.
Carolyn answered it with a smile. “Of course.”
As her brother took his wife’s hand to lead her from the room, while holding his son in the other, a strange feeling came over Carolyn. Seeing him so happy and without gloves was a wonderful thing, but different. Not only had he overcome his aversion to showing his burned hands, but he’d healed his internal scars as well, allowing himself to love.
With the pleasant thoughts on her mind, Carolyn left the manor, hurrying to mount her mare and set out toward the garden. She had to fight herself from pushing the horse harder than usual. Although she knew her anxiousness should give her a warning that she was becoming too attached to Edmund, she couldn’t bring herself to care. She’d never met anyone like him before.
After tying off Beauty, she hurried through the ivy. Once inside, she tried to slow her steps and take enjoyment in the place as she’d done so many times before, but she couldn’t curb her excitement today. However, the feeling dimmed when her turn about the garden didn’t bring her to Edmund.
She stopped where they ended the weeding and merely stared at the flowers. In her haste to arrive, she’d neglected to collect her tools. Now, she was confused and unsure of how to proceed.
Enchanting the Duke of Demoon (Touched by Fire Book 4) Page 4