“I love that you come here just to see me.”
Edmund’s deep voice wafted over her neck, and she had to repress her shudder of pleasure. A smile teased her lips to know he had come to her. She almost didn’t even care that he knew the garden hadn’t been what drew her here today. Almost.
“You overly flatter yourself. I’ve been clear about my interest in this garden.” She turned to face him. “Your presence has no bearing on my desire to return.”
The sparkling baby blue eyes that met hers took her breath away. Not too many times over their association had she seen such a look on his face. Her heart stuttered.
“Is that so? Then, perhaps it is time I return your secret sanctuary to you. Good day.”
Her smile fell when he turned and walked away. Surely, he was jesting. Once he reached the end of the aisle, panic settled in. He couldn’t truly be leaving, could he?
Rushing forward, she grabbed his arm to stop him. “Wait.”
He stopped, then slowly turned to her, triumph on his face. “Yes, Carolyn? Is there something you wish to say to me?”
“I suppose I enjoy your company”—he lifted an eyebrow—“to a small degree.”
“Then, I suppose I shall remain. At least for a little while.”
She beamed up at him as she took his arm and they began walking. Their banter had become something she thoroughly enjoyed. He always left her feeling hot and cold at the same time.
“Good. Now, yesterday I asked you to bring something. Did you do as I requested?”
He nodded, but made no move to retrieve it or stop their walk.
“Are you going to show me?”
“After a long sigh, he pulled out his watch fob. “I really don’t understand the point of this exercise.”
Excitement danced within her as she glanced at the old timepiece in his palm. Drawing him to a bench, she sat and waited for him to follow suit before expectantly holding her hand out.
“Tell me about it.” She reverently took the watch fob from him and looked it over, trying to determine what made it so special.
“You asked me to bring you something I cherished as a child. Here it is.” His voice emerged emotionless.
Carolyn narrowed her eyes as she studied his closed expression. For some reason, he had no desire to talk about it. The pain behind his eyes hinted at a troubled childhood. Her heart broke for him. Of all the items he could’ve clung to, it was a cold watch.
“I do believe—”
“What about you? Where’s your cherished item?”
With a shy smile, she pulled her father’s tattered cravat from her bodice and handed it to him. Heat rushed her cheeks at the raised eyebrow expression he shot her.
“Don’t judge me. Gardening doesn’t require one to bring a reticule.”
“I haven’t said a word. So, you have an affection for cravats?”
She took a deep breath. Perhaps he would feel better about sharing his story if she had the courage to offer hers first. Nerves tingled the back of her throat. When she came up with this idea, she’d been thinking more about what she could learn from him rather than the other way around.
“It was my father’s. One night when I was very young, a heavy storm was blowing in. He was to attend an event that night, and I was terrified to let him go out into the weather.”
“Ah, sweet, Carolyn.” He ran a finger down her cheek as he gazed at her with something akin to awe. “Afraid for someone else with no thoughts of herself.”
She swallowed, feeing her blush run all the way into her hairline. “Well, I didn’t want anything bad to happen to him. And, I told him such. My father simply chuckled and told me I had no reason to fear. He said I had more courage than both my brother and sister and I needed to be strong for them.”
Reaching out, she took her father’s cravat from him and ran her fingers over the loved fabric, trying to keep her emotions at bay. “He kissed me on the forehead, then pulled off his cravat. He said that although I had enough courage of my own, he would be happy to loan me some of his if I needed it. After he gave this to me, I never allowed my fear to control me again.”
Edmund didn’t respond. When she garnered the courage to look up at him, she sucked in her breath at the intensity on his face. She couldn’t determine exactly what he was feeling, and not knowing was maddening.
“You don’t have to be strong all the time, you know,” he said at last.
“I know, but life is much easier if I remain as such.”
“In a way, I suppose it is. I’ve been there, too. Forced myself to be strong when all the while I was a scared little child on the inside.”
Thrilled with some insight into his childhood, she sat up straighter. “Was that when you received the watch?”
Edmund abruptly stood and crossed the path before turning back to her, anger on his face.
“No. The watch is significant so that I would never be late again.”
Her brows furrowed, not understanding his anger or why he would bring her a piece that meant nothing other than to provide him with the time. “But, there’s got to be more than that.”
“You want to know the story? Very well,” he practically growled as he began pacing. “I couldn’t have been much more than six and after having been harshly punished by my father for being late, my grandfather gave me the watch and fob that he always had with him. He told me to trust it to guide me and I’d never be late again.”
“That’s—”
“Not what you were wanting, I know. My grandfather, who is probably the only person who ever cared for me, died two days later.” He stopped pacing and squeezed his eyes shut. “It’s probably for the best that you don’t come here to see me.”
He spun around and sped down the path.
“Edmund!” she called as she hurried after him. He didn’t stop or turn around.
As a torrent of emotions washed over her, she froze, clutching her father’s cravat. She would be strong. This meant nothing. He meant nothing. As promised, the wind had picked up. It was time to allow the current to blow them apart.
~ ~ ~
Edmund peered through the foliage at Carolyn while she tended his grandmother’s garden. He felt like a trespasser, but after two days of not seeing her, he’d begun to go a little mad. Even Thomas had kept the distance from him.
Memories assaulted him, too close to the surface in this place. Especially after Carolyn forced him to dredge up the beginning of the most difficult time in his life.
Forcing his eyes away, he dropped down to the bench and cradled his head in his hands while his elbows rested on his knees. This garden had been constructed by his grandfather for his wife. Then, it had been shown to Edmund’s mother as a place of protection for them.
Any time his father had been in one of his rages, she had brought him here to keep them both safe. Thinking about the ease of their relationship before the old duke died was bittersweet. The memories were somewhat pleasant, but there was no reconciling that woman to the person his mother had become. She was a complete mystery to him. At times, he wanted nothing more than to discover the truth of her. To understand what had happened to her. Then, the very next minute he wanted no part of her.
“Edmund?” Carolyn’s honeyed voice was like a balm for his weary soul. “Are you all right?”
He felt her warmth as she slid onto the bench beside him and lightly rested her hand over his. As he peered into her caring face, desire swamped him. For too long he’d denied himself. And, he was desperate to be close to someone. To be close to her.
“I am now,” he rasped as his attention fell to her lips. How sweet would she taste? Anticipation had his heart pumping wildly. Ever so slowly, he leaned closer to her.
She caught her bottom lip between her teeth, but she didn�
�t move away. “Are . . . Are you going to kiss me?”
The question stopped him, but only for a second. “Yes,” he breathed.
“But, don’t you intend to ask me first?” Her voice shook a little, but still, she made no move to leave.
“No.”
She huffed out a breath. “What if I have no desire for you to kiss me?”
“Then, you would stop me.”
Before she had a chance to ask another question, he pressed his mouth to hers. Her warm lips were like silk. Flooded with sensation, he wrapped his arms around her, holding her as close to him as their position would allow.
Carolyn remained utterly still, and that wasn’t good enough. He slid one hand up her neck to cup her cheek. He kissed and cajoled her mouth until she softened in his arms. That was what he needed from her.
Using his tongue, he traced her lips and took advantage when shock parted her lips. With every ounce of strength he possessed, he forced himself to move slowly. The feeling of her in his arms and her intoxicating taste on his tongue spiked him with lust and robbed him of every thought except her.
His hands shook with the effort of holding back. Then, she tentatively moved her tongue against his, and he lost it. This was exactly what he’d been envisioning for the past few weeks. And, the reality put all his fantasies to shame.
The feeling of her hands moving up his chest to twine around his neck spurred him on further. He wanted more from her. Needed more. As he closed his hands around her slender waist and pulled her to sit on top of his lap, he marveled at how delicate she was. Practically weightless in his arms.
With her so close, and her thigh pressed against the part of him aching for her, he could barely see straight. He groaned to be assaulted with a desire much stronger than he’d ever felt in all his six-and-twenty years.
Abruptly, Carolyn shoved at his chest and scrambled off him. Then, she stood there, lightly touching her swollen lips as she gazed at him. He had a good idea of how he was looking at her, but he was still too overcome to mask his thoughts. He wanted her too much.
Before he could utter a word, she spun around and practically ran down the row to get away from him. Although he wanted to follow, after mauling her, he owed her some space.
Seeing her gardening tools left behind, he felt a moment of unease. She’d never left them before, and he sincerely hoped she intended to return and collect them.
Chapter 4
“Damn it!” Edmund threw his riding gloves toward the entry table and glared at them when they landed on the floor.
Clenching his fists, he resisted the urge to rip the offending things apart. He closed his eyes and took deep breaths, willing himself to gather his composure. Footsteps moved around him, but he suspected whoever they belonged to knew better than to bother him. These past weeks had been . . . difficult.
“Lost your temper again?” Thomas sounded mildly amused. “What was it this time? The wind blowing the wrong direction?”
Edmund glared at his cousin before marching off toward his study. He had no desire to think of the bloody wind blowing. These days, the only thing keeping him sane had been the monotonous affairs of his estate.
“Don’t you dare think I will leave you alone so easily,” Thomas commented, his voice right behind Edmund.
“Do what you will, just don’t expect much from me.”
Once in the study, Edmund cringed when Thomas slammed the door. “What has gotten into you? I’ve kept my distance, but no one wants to live like this any longer. Honestly, the only person who seems to take pleasure in your foul mood is your mother.”
Edmund sat behind his desk and eyed Thomas. If it had been anyone else before him, he knew tempering his tongue would be near impossible. However, considering what he’d asked of his cousin, Edmund allowed the man a slight bit of freedom to speak his mind.
“I have little care for others’ opinions,” Edmund replied simply.
“That’s fairly obvious, but unless you want the entire staff to quit, you should do something about this.”
With a shake of his head, Thomas crossed the room toward the sidebar. While he mumbled something under his breath, he poured two glasses of brandy, then set them on the desk.
Edmund lifted one quizzical eyebrow. “I didn’t ask for a glass.”
“Drink it anyway. In my experience, alcohol helps. At least, for a little while.”
Grudgingly accepting the brandy, Edmund took a sip, savoring the burning liquid as it moved down his throat. Images of Carolyn assaulted him out of nowhere, so he downed the glass before he poured himself another. The urge to drown himself in the bottle overwhelmed.
“Good idea.” Edmund closed his eyes as he finished the second glass, but the maddening, beautiful images still plagued him.
He clenched his teeth. It had been a fortnight since he’d seen her. A fortnight since their mind-altering kiss. A bloody fortnight and her gardening supplies were exactly where she’d left them.
If she had the decency to visit the garden, she’d probably be pleased to see he’d finished weeding all the beds. Although the cold temperatures made it more difficult, he had attacked the weeds on his mission to finish her work.
A large part of him had expected her to return each day. She had worked too hard to abandon it like this. To abandon him.
“Talk to me, Edmund. Tell me what has you in such a tear lately.”
“Nothing except my usual unhappiness with life.”
Thomas shook his head. “That’s not it at all. Your normal sour mood has you moving your stupid stone pile, not heaving them across the way as if they were weightless.”
Heat crept up Edmund’s neck. “You saw that, did you?”
“Heard it, actually. Me and half of the castle.”
Letting out a long breath, Edmund raked his hands over his face. He had to find Carolyn. If he could apologize, then perhaps they could go back to their friendship.
A small voice in the back of his mind balked at the idea. Truthfully, he wanted so much more than friendship. Clearly, she did not. In the end, he would take any part of her he could get. In all of his life, he’d never looked forward to anything as much as he had his time in the garden with her.
“I just don’t know what to do.”
With his eyebrow raised, Thomas leaned forward on his knees. “About what? I’ve never seen you so confused.”
It was on the edge of his tongue to ask Thomas to help him locate Carolyn. However, he wasn’t even sure how to begin. They’d left too much to chance by keeping their identities secret. Although, he couldn’t imagine how she would react if she found out she had been spending her time with the Duke of Demoon. Something told him she wouldn’t be pleased.
With that in mind, every move he made to find her had to be in secret. Especially since he couldn’t knock on every door asking if Carolyn lived there. No. He needed to draw her out. To bring her here.
An unbidden smile twisted his lips. In her story about her father, he discovered she had noble blood. That made everything so much easier. After all, there were a number of ways to bring out the gentry.
“You have no reason to worry over me any longer. I believe what I need is something drastically different in my life.”
Thomas sat back, a suspicious look on his face. “I don’t think I like the sound of that. Nor do I like the gleam in your eyes.
“I’ve decided to allow my mother to host a ball.”
“What?” His cousin choked on his brandy.
“You heard me.” As ideas entered his mind, Edmund liked the plan more and more. “A masquerade ball. Masks will be offered to those who don’t bring one, or they won’t be welcome in my house.”
“Why? You made it clear you didn’t want curious eyes wandering around the castle.” Thomas�
�s confusion was evident.
“I didn’t want to be confined to my chambers while guests roamed the halls, but that won’t be a problem. Guards will be set at the stairs as well as in the hallways to deter any of the bolder guests. Besides, I don’t intend to be in my quarters.”
As if now realizing his meaning, Thomas slowly nodded. “You will be attending the ball with a mask.”
Edmund grinned. “Exactly.”
He may have to talk to every single woman who entered his house, but he would find Carolyn. And, she would come. Of that he had no doubt. After all, who would dare refuse an invitation to a ball hosted by the elusive Duke of Demoon?
~ ~ ~
“With child?” Carolyn’s gaze zeroed in on her sister, Claire’s, flat stomach.
“Yes. Just barely, though. I hadn’t thought much when I missed my menses, then the sickness began, and Ian suspected.”
Carolyn swallowed. She couldn’t tear her gaze away from Claire’s midsection. A little person like Jacob was growing inside her sister at this very moment. The entire business seemed quite strange and inconvenient.
“How could he have known when you, yourself, did not?”
At one point, Carolyn had hated how little she knew about the subject, but she suspected it no longer mattered, as she wouldn’t need the knowledge for herself. She did understand the mechanics of how a child was conceived, but she hadn’t thought about the method of telling if it had worked.
“Apparently, he’d been speaking to the doctor. Seeing as we hadn’t conceived in all this time, he worried there was a problem.”
“Then, I suppose congratulations are in order.”
Claire nodded, tears in her eyes. “I’m just so happy. And, you should see Ian. Honestly, I’m surprised he allowed me out of his sight to visit with you today.”
“I am very happy for both of you.”
Seeing such joy on her sister’s face nearly brought Carolyn to tears as well. Although Claire was older, Carolyn had spent her life protecting her sister from the harsh realities of this world. Exactly as her father had said, Carolyn had been the strong one.
Enchanting the Duke of Demoon (Touched by Fire Book 4) Page 5