“I suppose I shouldn’t be telling you all of this, seeing as you are unmarried.”
Carolyn laughed. “Don’t concern yourself over that. I may not understand the entire process, but I’ve known what happens between a man and a woman for years now.”
Her sister’s eyes widened. “How is that possible? I had to ask the dowager viscountess. Do you have any idea how uncomfortable that was?”
“I can only imagine, but I suspect it was easier than the talk I endured. I asked our father.”
“And, he told you?” Shock reverberated through Claire’s words.
With a shrug, Carolyn turned her attention out the window. “He saw the two of us as completely different.”
Edmund’s words came back to her, and she winced at the memory. He was right. She had forced herself to be strong. For her sister, and for her father. Carolyn knew she and Gordon had overly sheltered Claire, but it was good to know one of them had enjoyed a normal childhood.
Memories of how she’d found solace in the garden in her youth brought thoughts of the duke’s secret garden. She desperately wanted to go back, but she couldn’t. The feelings she’d experienced in Edmund’s arms had scared her.
She counted herself lucky that he hadn’t followed her that day. For if he had, she wasn’t sure what would have happened. Not only was he strong enough to take what he wanted from her, but a new part of her had been awakened, and she was fairly certain she would have let him.
“Well, I suppose it doesn’t matter. Besides, it saves me from having to explain it to you on your wedding day.”
Tired of Claire’s continual insistence that she would marry, Carolyn let out a long breath. “I told you in London, I have decided not to marry.”
Claire stood, then slid onto the seat beside her. “I know some of the gentlemen there can make you question spending the rest of your life with one, but they aren’t all like that.”
“I know that, but I’m done with London. The country is where I shall remain.”
Her sister’s eyes brightened, and Carolyn resisted the urge to groan. Over their childhood, it had been difficult not to give in to Claire. Partially from a desire to give her whatever she wanted, and partially in order to borrow her innocence for a short while. This time, however, Carolyn suspected she wouldn’t like whatever Claire was planning.
“You know there is no reason why you can’t find a husband right here in the country. Then, if you find a gentleman from nearby, we will always be close.”
“If you are talking about Mr. Avery, you can stop right there.”
“Not exactly, but he’s not a bad option. Annalise told me you have been out of sorts lately, but I think it’s time you took note of what has been going on.”
“What are you talking about?” Carolyn knew she had been distracted lately, but she hadn’t realized her sister-in-law had been intentionally not informing her of the current happenings.
“Out of nowhere, we received an invitation to a ball hosted by the Duke of Demoon.”
Carolyn’s heart stopped. Why? Had he discovered she’d been using his personal garden? Taking a deep breath, she relaxed herself. Of course he hadn’t. His hosting a ball had nothing to do with her.
“Are you certain the duke is hosting? Perhaps the invitations were sent out as some form of jest.”
Claire laughed. “If you’re right, I daresay the perpetrator wouldn’t like the consequences when the duke finds him. Besides, invitations were hand-painted and of the finest quality. For some reason, the duke has decided to open up his castle to the surrounding gentry.”
“And, you believe I will find a husband at the ball?” The very thought was absurd.
“No. It’s a masquerade. I certainly wouldn’t recommend looking for a husband when you can’t even tell who you are speaking with.”
Confusion swirled through Carolyn. It hadn’t helped that thoughts of Edmund had turned around in her mind much too often as of late. It was a wonder she could think at all any more.
“So, your plan is . . .”
“Apparently, the duke’s sudden interest in gatherings has spurred the countryside into action. We’ve received a number of invitations for events over the next few months. I suppose everyone is anxious for the duke to return the favor and attend their functions.”
Carolyn groaned. This was not what she needed right now. She enjoyed the country for its solitude and peace. In the past weeks that she’d been avoiding Edmund, she’d spent time in the garden at Dailey or riding the fields. She couldn’t stand for her days to become filled with social calls, picnics, and luncheons. All followed by dances and dinner parties.
A touch of unease prickled her skin. She could encounter Edmund at any one of these events. Although the thought set her heart to racing, she truly didn’t want to see him again. Considering they had no future together, she had no desire to become any more attached to him. And, the idea that she could become so, frightened her beyond measure.
~ ~ ~
Edmund spun another nameless, faceless girl through the final steps of the dance before depositing her in a group of ladies. So far, he had been unsuccessful in locating Carolyn, and his frustration was mounting. He listened, spoke to, and danced with almost every lady in attendance.
As he stood back and surveyed the crowd, he tried to clear his mind and take the time to enjoy the moment. This was his first ball. Both as host and attendee. Although the crush of people increased his anxiety, it also excited him.
His mother could think as she would, but these were his guests. It was his seal and his name on every invitation. Knowing there were so many people who would come at his request was a heady feeling. He only wished Carolyn was one of them.
The sound of an irritated male voice gained his attention. “Can you at least pretend to enjoy yourself?”
Turning, he sought out the source. After all, aside from the speculations about whether he was in attendance or not, the only other whispers were of enjoyment.
“She’s having much too good a time,” the gentleman continued. “Please don’t make me force her to leave so soon.”
Edmund’s gaze fell on the lady to whom the man spoke, a petite woman with piles of blond curls fastened on her head. A tremor passed through his body and stole his breath. Carolyn. He had found her.
She let out a sigh. “Go dance with your wife. I’ll be fine.”
A smile played at his lips. No doubt remained at her identity. That was Carolyn. Not only was her voice emblazoned on his memory, but self-sacrifice was a deeply ingrained part of her character.
When the gentleman hurried away, Edmund moved swiftly to her side. She looked up at him without any recognition in her eyes. At that moment, all he wanted to do was forget who they were and their past, pull her up against him, and dance with her.
He bowed then offered her his arm, silently willing her to understand. The tension in his body evaporated the second she curtsied and took his offered escort. As he led her to the dance floor, he smiled at the sound of a waltz beginning. Exactly the dance he would have selected for them at this moment.
As he pulled her into his arms, and the music integrated them with the other couples, he felt as though he was the luckiest man in the room. Although his skills for dancing had deteriorated over the years, with her, it seemed to be a natural movement.
They danced in silence. Her body tantalizing him with every brush of her skirts against his legs. His breathing sped, and all he could concentrate on was her lips, left untouched by her mask. He wanted to kiss her again. Right here. Right now.
Unable to take the sensations swarming his body as they revolved around the room, he leaned into her and whispered against her ear. “I must talk to you, Carolyn. Let me take you somewhere.”
She pulled back from him so fast, they mi
ssed a few steps before he could draw her back into the dance. Another benefit from a masquerade ball was that no one would be able to criticize them for their missteps.
“Edmund? What . . .? How . . .?”
“Please?” He hated the desperation in his voice, but he would hate having her walk away from him even more.
“Very well.” Her resigned voice told him exactly how much she didn’t look forward to spending any time with him.
He couldn’t think on that now. His mind was already too preoccupied with her, and he had to navigate them toward the study without being stopped. Spinning her around the room one last time, he released her as close as he could to the door.
As they moved from the dance floor and out of the room, she took his arm. Everyone around them either hadn’t noticed, or hadn’t cared. He couldn’t hold back a smile. This was easier than he originally thought.
Moving swiftly, they passed the staff members that he’d insisted be present in all the hallways to prevent anyone moving about where they were not invited. Having already informed the staff of his intention and his costume, none of them stopped him or even acknowledge his presence.
“Where are you taking me?” Carolyn whispered, as she glanced around.
“Not much farther.”
When they reached his study, a young maid dropped into a low curtsy at his presence. His eyes widened in shock as he glanced at Carolyn. Luckily, she hadn’t noticed. Irritated that the one movement could have ruined so much for him, he hastened Carolyn inside one of his favorite places in the whole castle.
Closing the door, he slid the bolt into place then turned around and promptly ran into Carolyn. She hadn’t moved since she’d set foot in the room.
“Where are we?” Her voice had taken on a hint of hysteria.
“Carolyn?” He touched her shoulders, and she whipped around to face him.
“This is the duke’s study, isn’t it?” Her voice had risen.
He glanced around the room trying to see what it was that upset her so much. “It is. Are you all right?”
She laughed, but the sound gave no mirth. “We shouldn’t be here. I’m already terrified enough to be in his house. Do you have any idea what he would do to us if he were to discover us here?”
Letting out a groan, Edmund leaned back against the door. Of course she would see it that way. “I didn’t think about that.”
“Well, you should have.” She began pacing. “After what we had done to his garden, and now this. I—”
Unable to take her panic any longer, he grabbed her shoulders, and turned her to face him. Needing to see her beautiful face, he pulled off her mask and tossed it to the side before discarding his as well. The fear in her eyes wrenched his heart. She was terrified because she thought he—the Duke of Demoon—intended to harm her.
“I’m not my father,” he ground out.
Confusion flashed across her face. “What?”
He swallowed. He hadn’t meant to say that. “I’m sorry. I brought you here to apologize, but all I seem to be doing is making a mess of everything.”
“You have nothing to apologize for.” She pulled away from his grasp and moved to stand before his desk. “I’m sorry if I made you feel like you had done something wrong.”
Now it was his turn to be confused. “If you aren’t upset that I kissed you, then why didn’t you come back? The flowers will struggle in the cold, and I don’t know what to do for them.”
“I suppose that’s the duke’s problem now. We’re just clouds, remember? I think I’m feeling the wind picking up.”
Unwilling to accept her words, he walked forward to stand in front of her. “It may be cold, but there isn’t a hint of wind.”
A pained look crossed her face. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t understand what’s going on, and that’s unacceptable.”
“We’re just two people taking pleasure in each other’s company.”
“What about marriage?”
He reared back at her question. He hadn’t wanted to give her any hope that he would be offering for her. The knowledge that she had thought about it troubled him.
“That has nothing to do with our relationship.”
“I’m not suggesting that it does. As a lord, you need to marry and—”
“There you go making assumptions again. I told you not to do that.” He shook his head at her.
“Very well, so you don’t need to marry, but what about me? I’m getting pressure to find a husband whether I want one or not. How can I do anything when I spend all of my time with you?”
Not liking the direction of their conversation, he raked his hands through his hair. He couldn’t lose her to another man. Not now.
“I thought you said you didn’t intend to marry.”
She let out a breath, and her shoulders sagged. “I should go.”
The idea of her walking out the door and him losing her again brought irrational anger surging through him. He straightened his back. He would not let her go just yet. He wasn’t ready to give up the happiness she brought into his bleak life.
Chapter 5
Carolyn felt Edmund’s eyes boring into her, but she couldn’t force herself to meet his gaze.
“Does that mean you are looking to marry?” Edmund’s voice emerged emotionless.
She bit her lip, not exactly wanting to have this conversation with him. Of course, she still wanted to marry, but her standards were too high for that to be a true possibility. To date, Edmund was the only man she could see herself being happy with.
“My future plans haven’t changed,” she replied cryptically. “Much to my sister’s dismay, I must add.”
His smile transformed his face. “I must admit, it is nice to not be under such pressure to wed.”
She tilted her head to the side and studied him. “Why is that? Most gentlemen have a desire to marry at some point in their lives. Some for heirs, others for money or companionship. Do none of those apply to you?”
He clicked his tongue. “Trying to discover my identity, are you? I thought we agreed against sharing that information.”
“I’m not looking to know much. I just want to understand.”
With a shrug of his shoulders he took her hand and pulled her to sit beside him on the sofa. The feel of his gloved hands over hers sent a spike of awareness through her body. This whole thing was a mistake.
“I will never marry, because I refuse to have a child. Taking on a wife in my current situation, would only lead to misery for both of us.”
“What’s wrong with a child? Although, I’ll admit, they are loud, wiggly, and confusing.”
Edmund laughed, and she wanted to melt into the sound. “It sounds as though you have firsthand knowledge.”
“My sister-in-law provided my brother with an heir.”
“I congratulate them. I have no doubt he is relieved to have his family’s claim secured.”
His merriment from earlier dissipated and was replaced with some other emotion. Sadness, maybe? She couldn’t be sure. For some reason, she had so much more trouble trying to discern Edmund’s feelings than most other people. However, his hair being pulled back helped tremendously.
“You look so different with your hair secured like that.”
Pain sparked in his eyes as he reached behind his head. She grabbed his arm.
“Don’t,” she pleaded. “I like it like this.”
His eyes searched hers. “Why?”
She smiled as she ran her hand down the length of his cheek. “I like being able to see your face.”
A low groan escaped his lips as his eyes darkened. “Don’t say things like that to me. Not unless you are prepared to accept the consequences.”
Concern knitted her brow. “I don’t under
stand. I meant no insult.”
He leaned toward her, his gaze trained on her lips. “Since you seem to be incapable of accepting a kiss without warning. I’ll tell you, I fully intend to kiss you. Right. Now.”
Licking her lips, she tried to calm her traitorous body. As her heart threatened to escape from her chest, she covered her mouth with her hand. They couldn’t. No matter how much she wanted him to kiss her.
“No. We are in the duke’s study. If he were to catch us in here it would be bad, but if we were kissing on his sofa . . .” She shuddered to reflect on what the duke would think, let alone do.
“He won’t mind.” Edmund pulled her hand away from her lips. “Likely, he will never look at the sofa in the same way again.”
The urge to give in to his embrace overwhelmed. “But, the duke—”
“Don’t waste another worry over him. I swear I will never allow him to cause you any harm.”
His voice rang with sincerity, and Carolyn felt powerless against him. Although she didn’t want to become more attached to him, she also was loathe to walk away again. It hadn’t been easy the first time.
Not to mention the fact that he had no intention of marrying, so they didn’t have an end time approaching. At least, for as long as he intended to remain in the country.
She nodded, her mind made up. “Very well.”
Without waiting, she pressed her lips against his. Immediately, the familiar sensation swamped her. The warmth of his body as he drew her to him seeped into her flesh, and she moaned. For some reason, in his arms she had less control over herself.
Desperate for more of him, she slid her tongue across his mouth, then hesitated when his lips parted.
“Don’t be shy,” he whispered against her lips.
Enchanting the Duke of Demoon (Touched by Fire Book 4) Page 6