Aftercare Instructions
Page 12
“I don’t know if you are either, but sometimes you have to take a leap and find out.” He looks at his phone. “Shit. I’m so sorry. I have to run.”
“Go. It’s fine.”
He takes my jaw in his hands and moves his face toward mine. I know where he’s going, and I want to stop him, but I’m not sure I’m strong enough. His breath hits my skin. “Are you sure I can’t kiss you?”
“No.”
“No, you’re not sure?”
“I’m not sure. But I think not right now.”
His forehead lands on mine. “Fair enough. Text me and I’ll send you the details for tomorrow. Anyone can come. You don’t need to prepare anything.”
He pinches my nose and shows me his thumb between his fingers. “Plus, I’m taking this, and you might want it back.”
I smile the kind of smile that zaps your insides. Fizzle, sizzle, pop. And watch him walk into the building.
Then I turn and stare across the park. Delilah’s building is just on the other side. The building that was my refuge two days ago now casts a giant shadow right into my gut.
About-face.
ACT II
SCENE 3
(This scene takes place in the kitchen. Music plays faintly in the background. At rise, GENESIS sets the table. MOM sits curled into her chair at the head. Offstage, we hear the sounds of people coming into the house, and DELILAH and AUNT KAYLA enter carrying bags of food.)
AUNT KAYLA
Happy Thanksgiving, honey.
(She hugs GENESIS. So does DELILAH. Then greets MOM before unpacking the food.)
AUNT KAYLA
I wanted to cook, ladies, but it was just too tempting to order everything.
DELILAH
That’s fine, Mom. Everything looks delicious.
AUNT KAYLA
Is that okay, Genny? I wanted this to be as normal as possible.
GENESIS
It’s fine. I’m not sure she’ll eat.
AUNT KAYLA
Mary, how you feeling?
GENESIS
She hasn’t said anything today. But she’s at the table, so that’s good.
AUNT KAYLA
Mary, I know you love Thanksgiving. I got the yams with the marshmallows. You’re the only person in this universe who likes that dish.
GENESIS
My dad liked it.
(Everyone looks at MOM. She doesn’t really move.)
AUNT KAYLA
You’re right. Devon did like it. You guys and your sweet teeth. Are you hungry?
GENESIS
Kind of.
AUNT KAYLA
Is this okay?
DELILAH
Mom, stop worrying. Let’s eat. Right, Aunt Mary?
(She still doesn’t move.)
GENESIS
Believe me, getting her to the table is progress. Don’t worry. I’ll make her eat when you guys leave.
AUNT KAYLA
Mary, I’m glad you’re here at this table with us. I’m thankful for it. Dev would have been happy to see you at the table with us too.
GENESIS
It’s weird Ally isn’t here.
(AUNT KAYLA nods.)
GENESIS
They’re doing dinner at their house. We were invited.
AUNT KAYLA
I know. They invited us too. Thoughtful, really. All things considered.
GENESIS
You talk to them?
AUNT KAYLA
Of course I do.
GENESIS
Oh.
(AUNT KAYLA dishes up food on everyone’s plates.)
GENESIS
Did Gran say if she was ever going to come by? To see us?
AUNT KAYLA
No, hon.
GENESIS
Okay.
AUNT KAYLA
I can take you to see them if you want.
GENESIS
I don’t know.
AUNT KAYLA
Up to you.
GENESIS
I know.
(Food is served.)
AUNT KAYLA
(Joking)
Should we say grace?
DELILAH
Good food, good meat, good God, let’s eat!
AUNT KAYLA
Such an irreverent child.
DELILAH
You lucked out.
AUNT KAYLA
I sure did. So, are you going to tell them, Delly?
GENESIS
Tell us what?
AUNT KAYLA
Can I?
DELILAH
I will. I sent in my application to NYU.
GENESIS
That’s awesome! Why didn’t you text me?
DELILAH
I did. I texted you to call me. That I had some news.
GENESIS
Oh. Right. You did text me that.
AUNT KAYLA
It’s been a hard week, hasn’t it?
GENESIS
I’m sorry, Del.
DELILAH
I understand. Don’t worry about it.
GENESIS
Will you keep me posted?
DELILAH
I will. But I’ll spare you the details. You don’t want in on my anxiety hell. I’m already checking the mailbox every hour, and they probably haven’t even opened my package yet.
GENESIS
They’ll mail the answer?
AUNT KAYLA
They’ll probably e-mail. Or call.
GENESIS
You’re leaving me in Jersey?
DELILAH
It’s not far.
AUNT KAYLA
I do wish you’d send in something to Rutgers too.
DELILAH
I have to be in New York.
(MOM coughs.)
AUNT KAYLA
I know. I wish my brother could have taken you there to see the school.
(Silence)
(MOM gets up and floats out.)
AUNT KAYLA
I’m sorry, Gen.
GENESIS
It’s okay. I’ll check on her in a minute.
AUNT KAYLA
We’re not supposed to stop talking about him.
GENESIS
I know.
AUNT KAYLA
Let me go. You stay put.
GENESIS
Okay.
(AUNT KAYLA fills up a bowl with yams.)
AUNT KAYLA
I’m taking these.
GENESIS
Good plan.
(She exits.)
DELILAH
Are you okay?
GENESIS
Actually, I am.
DELILAH
My mom talks about him even more at home.
GENESIS
It is really okay.
DELILAH
I’m just checking on you.
GENESIS
I know. I actually have something I want to tell you.
DELILAH
Oh yeah?
GENESIS
Yeah.
DELILAH
Oh my God. That smile on your face. What is going on?
GENESIS
Well … okay, I’ll just say it.… I’m in love.
DELILAH
No shit.
GENESIS
It’s the strangest time for it to happen.
DELILAH
Do I know him?
GENESIS
I don’t think so. Peter Sage?
DELILAH
Peter Sage. Nope. I don’t. Well, I can’t wait to meet him.
GENESIS
You will.
DELILAH
He better treat you right or he’ll have your cousin to answer to!
GENESIS
I know that. And that’s what I love about you.
DELILAH
Seriously. I know you have Rose, and I know my mom is all up in your business, but I’m here for you too. Anything you need.
GENESIS
I know that
too.
DELILAH
Does he know everything?
GENESIS
Not yet.
DELILAH
He can handle it?
GENESIS
I’m pretty sure he can.
(GENESIS looks toward her mother’s room. DELILAH keeps eating.)
(Lights fade.)
YOU ARE NOT ALONE
Rose’s car is parked in front of my house when I get back home. I should have expected it. When she doesn’t get an answer, she shows up. I’m not even to the porch yet when the door swings open and she stands silhouetted, ready to unleash.
“Where have you been?”
Good question. Where have I been? I close my eyes and the almost-kisses of this afternoon flutter in my chest.
“It’s nearly eight o’clock, and I haven’t heard from you all day.”
I hold up my phone. “It’s dead.”
“Which is exactly what I thought you were. Dead. Jesus, Gen, you can’t act like you did last night and then not respond to anyone.”
“Rose, my phone is dead. Let me plug it in, and then we’ll play catch-up, okay?”
She follows me into my room.
“At ease, soldier. I’m home. I’m not going anywhere.”
I plug the phone in and drop into my bed. She gets in with me, and lets me take a few breaths. Last night’s story. I have to face it now.
“Did I fuck up really bad last night?”
She shakes her head, but the kind that means yes. Then my phone starts buzzing out of control. “As I’m sure you can imagine, I’ve texted you about eighty times.”
I do have thirty-seven text messages: twenty-one from Rose, nine from Delilah, four from Ally, three from Gran.
Zero from Peter.
“I can’t go through this now. Can you just tell me what happened last night?”
“Have you talked to Delilah today?” Rose asks.
“Rose, I’m just getting to my phone for the first time today. I left it at that guy’s house last night and went to get it.”
“That guy? You went to see that guy today?”
“So?”
“Oh, Gen, you need to talk to Delilah.”
“Why?”
“You need to talk to Delly, Gen. She’s not very happy with you right now.”
“What?”
Whowhatwherewhenwhyhow?
“I guess she knows him.”
“Yeah, so? And is he, like, an ax-murderer or something? Because to me he seems like a really sweet guy.”
She looks at me like I’ve gone insane. And really, I don’t know why I’m defending him. He actually could be an ax-murderer, for all I know.
“He’s not an ax-murderer. But she does know someone who dated him.”
“So?”
“So, what?”
“Does she like him or something?”
“Are you kidding me?”
“No, I’m not kidding.”
“Genesis, is your head really that far up your ass?”
“What are you talking about?”
“It’s not always about you!” She raises her voice so much that I’m sure my mom can hear us now. Hopefully today she doesn’t want to get involved.
“I’m not saying it is!”
“You don’t have to say it, Genesis. It just always is. You never notice anything Delilah does for you. Or anyone.”
We’re both on our feet now. She is right in my face.
“You should talk about being self-centered! You’re the most self-centered person I know!” I spit back, my heart accelerating.
“Then you haven’t looked at yourself in a long time. You think no one will ever understand you. But NEWS FLASH! WE DO! Stop pushing everyone away like you did Peter.”
I stop.
Drop.
She doesn’t back away.
“Is that what you think, Rose? That it was my fault that he left me AT FUCKING PLANNED PARENTHOOD?”
Now not just my mom hears this, but all of Point Shelley.
“Genesis. Please.”
“Why would you say something like that?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Is that what people are saying? Is that what people think? That I pushed him away? That it’s all my fault?”
“I don’t think that, Gen.”
“Then why did you say that?”
“Just stop. Sometimes you don’t look at the full picture. Don’t forget some of the conversations we started having. About getting bored. About not knowing if you were actually right for each other.”
She’s right.
And even though I want to shove her out the door and be alone right now, I resist. I pull myself together.
“What happened last night?” I ask.
“What do you remember?”
“Not a whole lot.”
“Delilah was worried about you when she went to Kendra’s apartment and you weren’t there. Not because this dude is an ax-murderer. Not because she likes him. But because she didn’t want you to do something stupid you might regret. Maybe she went overboard. Maybe it was an overreaction. But she was worried.”
“I was just having a good time.”
“Gen, you were black-out drunk. The whole drive home we had to keep pulling over so you could puke out of the car.”
“Really?”
She nods. “Really.”
“Oh my God.”
“Yeah.”
“And how did you find me?”
“She found out which apartment was his, and went pounding on the door. Will wanted to beat him up, but that’s because he’s an idiot.”
“I’m afraid to ask what was going on when you found us.”
“You were passed out in his bed. He was swearing up and down he didn’t do anything to you. That you begged him to take you up to his apartment so you could go to sleep. He said he kept asking you if he should tell someone and you said it didn’t matter. So he took your word for it. I felt sort of bad for him. The way Delilah and Will were acting, it was kind of like they thought he was a rapist or something.”
My heart picks up again. “He is not a rapist! That is crazy!”
“Calm down, calm down. I don’t think so either. I know you get sleepy when you drink. We should have been paying better attention.”
“He didn’t do anything to me!”
“Genesis! I’m not saying he did. I’m just saying what happened.”
I accept this.
“So then we tried to wake you up but you were fighting us. Delilah was being so mean to that guy. I wanted to stick up for him, but I also just wanted to get you home.”
“This is awful. I can’t believe he didn’t say anything to me about all of this.”
“If I were that dude I’d want to steer clear of you and Delilah for a while. I’m surprised you saw each other today.”
“I guess I am too. Wow. I really can’t remember any of this.”
“You were pounding drinks. All you wanted to do last night was forget.”
I can’t believe this story. I can’t believe he wanted to see me today. Much less skip class and have lunch with me.
“Rose, I think I need to be alone.”
“Not yet, Gen. I’m not going home yet. You can’t keep running away.”
And I know I can’t. But sometimes running away is actually running toward something, right? Toward something I need. I get back into bed, and when Rose goes to the bathroom, I dig up Seth’s number and send this: I don’t need until morning to decide.
He responds right away: I didn’t think you would.
Him: Meet in the city beforehand?
Me: Okay. Yes.
Him: Are you sure???????????
Me: So sure.
Him: Can’t wait.
(Me: melting.)
(Him: someone who is not Peter.)
(Me: smiling because I can’t help it.)
Rose sees me with the phone and asks if I’m texting Delilah. Right here, right now, I
like that the part of last night with all the drama isn’t in my brain. I like that I erased it all. Texting Delilah means un-erasing. It means conversations. It means explaining myself and my actions.
“Who the hell are you texting, if not Delilah?”
“Oh, Rose,” I say. “Free pass, please. This one needs to wait until morning.”
“It’s that guy, isn’t it?”
“Free pass, Rose.”
She doesn’t like it, but free passes are always honored in our friendship. She crawls back into bed with me.
“I slept with Will last night,” she says. “After we got you into bed.”
I spring up.
“Here?”
She laughs. “No! My parents are out of town.”
“Your parents are always out of town.”
“That’s all you have to say?”
“No. I just don’t know if I can handle thinking about you and Will naked together.”
“I’ll just tell you one thing.”
“Okay, go ahead,” I say, burying my head in anticipation.
“It was … amazing.”
I peek out from under the covers, and swear the stars are reflecting in her eyes.
ACT II
SCENE 4
(This scene takes place in a bedroom. Lights rise to GENESIS and PETER making out on her bed. Music plays, something dark and romantic. Things heat up and GENESIS pushes too far. PETER jumps out of bed and turns off the stereo.)
PETER
Gen. I can’t.
(She doesn’t move from the bed.)
GENESIS
I know. I know.
(PETER goes back to sit with her. They share an awkward moment of silence.)
(That continues.)
(And continues.)
(She sits up.)
PETER
I just …
GENESIS
I know. Marriage.
PETER
I know it’s old-fashioned. But it’s always been important to me.
GENESIS
Let’s get married, then.
(They laugh.)
GENESIS
We probably will. Don’t you think?
PETER
Probably.
GENESIS
I can’t imagine being with anyone else, can you?
PETER
No, I can’t.
GENESIS
There’s a math equation somewhere in here. See how it all adds up?
PETER
I love you.
GENESIS
Then kiss me.
(He does.)
GENESIS
Don’t stop. Don’t ever stop.
(Blackout.)
IF YOUR TEMPERATURE REACHES 100.4°, CALL US IMMEDIATELY
I meet Seth on the corner of East Fourteenth Street and First Avenue the next day, and I’m proud of myself for getting so good at navigating the city. I haven’t slowed down enough today to stop and question this decision. I didn’t tell Rose. I set up dinner with the grandparents and sister for seven o’clock, which should be plenty of time to do this and get home.