Sharing Harper

by V. Murphy

  Ryder.

  I looked up and saw his beautiful face in front of mine. The line of his cheekbones was chiseled and he had slight stubble on his face. His hair was slicked back in a messy way that looked like he just rolled out of bed. His blue eyes pierced mine and he was twirling with something in his hand in a shy way.

  “What can I help you…uh…with?” I stumbled over my words at complete shock that Ryder was standing in front of me…at my work. How the hell did he know where I worked? If I weren’t in complete shock by his presence I would think that he was stalking me and probably kick him out of the store.

  Why was he around? Not only couldn’t I kick him from my thoughts but now he was physically present wherever I was. He didn’t understand. I couldn’t do this. He had already seen far too much of me and I can’t let him see anything else. I don’t live the perfect normal life that is handed to you. I live a life of running and pain. I just wanted to have sex with him, taste him. Why didn’t he understand that?

  “I’m looking for something for a beautiful woman that I met a few weeks ago. I know it’s a little premature but I think I might have a huge crush on her. I did come to her rescue so I do believe she owes me…not that I’m counting here or anything.”

  “She sounds like she wants nothing to do with you. It seems a bit intense if you ask me,” I blurted out, covering my mouth as soon as I finished. I had no intention of being mean to him but who was he to come here? This was my place of work. I swear if Skye had anything to do with this I was going to kill her.

  “Ah, you don’t understand. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on, besides my own family that is. When I see her it’s like something in my heart stops working for just a second and the world slows down to a snail’s pace. She pretends like she doesn’t care about anything, but deep down inside I think she has the capability of loving.”

  “In fact,” he continued, “ I think she should come out with me so I can show her what life is like with a man who would give the world up just to spend one evening with her.”

  My cheeks flushed red and I heard Rita come out from the back. I fiddled with my hands and started to bite my nails. Frankly, his confession scared the crap out of me. I didn’t do dates…ever. I don’t think I could ever do dates. I just…no one can ever find out.

  “Harper your good to close….oh,” She stopped in her tracks when she saw Ryder standing over the counter leaning in towards me. She clearly saw my cheeks garnished in a rosy color. “Hello there, I’m Rita,” she said and stuck her hand out at him.

  “Ryder. Pleasure to meet you ma’am. I’m just trying to take your lovely employee out to dinner but she’s being stubborn.”

  “Oh, she’s off work so she’s going with you,” Rita said forcefully and winked over at me. “Get your stuff, I’ll close out.”

  I huffed towards the back knowing that there was no way of getting out of this, especially with Rita’s glare penetrating me. I went to the back and changed into a light summer dress that was supposed to go on the racks. If she was going to make me go out with him the least she could do would be to let me borrow one of the store’s dresses. I fluffed my hair up and grabbed the rest of my stuff.

  When I walked back to the front of the store I heard Ryder and Rita laughing hysterically.

  “I can’t believe you know where the marsh is!” Rita exclaimed at him. “Harper, can you believe that Ryder here is from Texas, but has family in Louisiana! Small world now ain’t it?”

  “Thanks for the drink Rita,” he said as he motioned to his cup of water that she must have offered him. “Are you ready to go?”

  “Yeah, l want to get this over with,” I mumbled under my breath hoping he wouldn’t hear the tone in my voice. I don’t remember the last time I went out on a date with someone. My hands were sweating at the thought of a date…with Ryder nonetheless. My breath was short and I felt like the world was slowly closing a hole in my chest.

  When we got outside I took a deep breath, hoping that I would be able to breathe, but I started getting clammy and dizzy.

  “What’s wrong?” He asked clearly noticing my pale face and the sudden reaction I was having.

  “I just don’t feel great. I think I’d rather go home.”

  “Oh no you’re not. I knew you wouldn’t call when I left my number at your place but there is no way you’re backing out of this. You were fine ten minutes ago when I saw you playing on your phone so spill…what’s wrong?”

  Shit. He had read me like a book. The only people who could understand me like that were the people like me: broken and abused. At this point lying to him was out of the picture, so I decided to jump in with two feet and tell him what I was feeling.

  “I don’t do…dates,” I managed to choke out.

  “This isn’t a date? What are you talking about? If this was a proper date, I wouldn’t be picking you up from work.”

  “How did you find me anyways?”

  “You don’t want me to tell you all my secrets already now do you? What would be the fun in that?”

  “I’m serious. It’s kind of creepy that you just showed up.”

  “Your friend Skye came into the coffee shop yesterday and told me where you worked. She also said that you have been absolutely miserable without me,” he spoke in a joking manner, emphasizing the word miserable as we walked side by side down the storefronts.

  “She did not!” I gawked.

  “Haha no she didn’t, but she did tell me where you worked. I hadn’t heard from you since that night so I figured maybe we could go hang out by the beach and have some sandwiches or something?” Maybe I could use this as an excuse to get laid…

  “A total non-date,” he emphasized.

  I was going to kill Skye. Seriously kill her. The only reason she went to that coffee shop was because she knew that’s where Ryder was. Ugh. This is not something I wanted to do today. I was exhausted from working all day and quite frankly just wanted to go home. He walked closer towards me, allowing his hand to ever-so-slightly brush against mine. I felt the electricity pulse through me. It awakened a desire deep in my belly. The panic I had felt earlier quickly vanished into need. I wanted his large hands all over my body, touching every last bit of me. I wanted his delicate lips pressed up against mine and wanted his cock to tease me. Oh fuck, I needed to get laid ASAP. Maybe this will be good for me; I was in need of a little attention from a man.

  Suddenly, I felt Ryder’s pinky finger curl gently around mine, holding it there as if we were promising each other the world in our fingers. His ring finger, ever so gently, glided over mine sending waves of electricity through my body. He then laced the rest of his fingers with mine, caressing my palm with his thumb. And there we were, walking hand in hand down the street towards the beach in complete silence.

  When we got to the beach the sun was fading over the horizon and dusk settled. We were the only ones on the beach, probably because it was getting dark. Ryder brought a small lantern with two sandwiches and bags of chips. He laid out a checkered blanket under us and motioned to sit.

  “For you my lady,” he said in a dorky way while bowing towards me. I laughed at the silly gesture. When I sat on the blanket he handed me the sandwich and said, “I got turkey, you seem like a turkey girl.”

  “And why is that?”

  “Turkey is like one of those lunch meats that is so determined to be front and center. It’s all-American and you can’t ever go wrong with turkey.”

  This was probably the stupidest thing I have ever heard and maybe the most unflattering, yet I couldn’t help but smile. I think it was suppose to be a compliment, but being compared to lunchmeat? Sexy, right?

  Ryder popped open the cork to a bottle of Veuve Clicquot champagne and poured it into two glasses.

  “For you. Cheers for finally allowing me to take you out.”

  “Cheers for total stalkers,” I snarled at him.

  “Tough one aren’t ya? I don’t know how else I am going to
impress you…maybe some more of this,” he said and grabbed my hand in his and laced our fingers together once again. I quickly shook him off, moving my hand over.

  “That was a moment of weakness.” I said.

  “Ah, I guess I will have to pull the good moves on you then. Soon enough Harper and you’ll be falling all over me and I just may make you suffer.”

  He winked at me, assuming that I would be the kind of girl to fall all over him.

  “You wish. I don’t even know your full name.” I said as I unwrapped my sandwich and took a giant bite out of it, as un-lady like as I possibly could.

  “You are so unbelievably sexy, you know?” He smiled, penetrating his eyes deep into mine. It was as if he was locking them in and shutting the world off around us. Quickly I looked back down to my sandwich, shoving it far into my mouth. He was tricking me into this. For a non date, this felt like a date. I didn’t even know what a date was. I never really dated in high school but from everything I read and saw in the movies, this sure seemed like one. Somehow I needed to divert the subject.

  “So, you want to know more about me, eh?”

  “Yeah, like I said I don’t even know your last night.” I spit out with a fistful of food stuffed into my mouth.

  “Well for starters, my middle name is Andrew but I secretly hate it. Ryder Andrew”

  “Oh yeah? Well Ryder Andrew, where do you come from?”

  “Ah, my lady,” he joked, again playing with the formal intonation of British royalty but failing so miserably with his thick southern accent, “I am from Houston, Texas. Born and raised, but I moved here about five years ago when I was 23.”

  “Okay, so that answers my next question then. You’re 28. Do you know how old I am?”

  “Well assuming I saw you at the club that one night, I was going to guess you went to the college and now you’re drinking this wine here so I’m hoping you’re at least 21.”

  “I am at least 21. In fact, I am 21.”

  “I do like my ladies younger you know?” He smirked at me while taking a bite of his sandwich.

  “So, you’re a pervert then?” I snarled.

  “Ha! And you must be a comedian?” He growled right back. I actually kind of enjoyed him playing with my insults instead of sulking in the corner like a baby.

  “Is your family back in Texas then?” I asked.

  He shifted uncomfortably on the blanket and put his sandwich down. Before he spoke he took a big pull of his champagne and played with his thumbs. Slowly and very quietly he said, “My parents live in Texas, but I have family here.”

  Oh. I guess there was something else that he didn’t want to tell me, but I didn’t want to push him because for the first time in the entire night he became uncomfortable and vulnerable. It was easy to tell that he was rarely uncomfortable by the way he carried himself so I decided to cut him some slack and not fish any further. Instead, I looked up at the sky and noticed the small lights in the distance. We normally don’t get stars here, but sometimes if you squinted hard enough you could see the outline in the sky. It was like something was desperately trying to peer through the layers of soot and air pollution to expose the true beauty, but some force of nature and man was stopping it from happening. It would take a miracle for that little star up there to shine.

  “In Texas, you could drive out into the fields with your truck and pull your bed down and sit there watching the stars blister in the sky all night long,” he said noticing my fascination with the sky, “Tell me something about yourself Harper.”

  “Um…” I wasn’t sure exactly what I was supposed to tell him. Hello, my name is Harper. I am completely and totally fucked up and you probably will regret ever meeting me but I would love to fuck you before you go?

  Classy, real classy Harper.

  “My last name is Mae and I grew up in Chicago. I don’t talk about my family and my best friend is Skye who is basically like my only family. I go to University of San Diego and am majoring in creative writing. Eventually, I want to be an author.”

  “I felt like I just read your bio in a book. Tell me about you! Like something that no one else knows, not even your best friend Skye.” He mocked the last part, quoting me and matching my tone. I giggled at his attempt to sound like a girl--it was a disaster, yet utterly adorable.

  “I don’t think I should.”

  “Let’s not kick around the bush here. I know there is something haunting you inside. I saw it. Instead of playing these get to know you games why don’t you tell me something about you. I want to figure out what makes you tick.” His voice was low and his words slipped out of his mouth dusted with slow passion. “I want to know what scares you.”

  I went silent in shock, scared that this man could see inside of who I was and more importantly what I was hiding from the rest of the world. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat hoping that suddenly thunder would disparage above us and rain would come pouring down. So much for being saved by the bell…

  “Can I tell you something at least?” I nodded, still unable to speak from the fact that in such a short period of time this man was able to understand whom I was inside rather than the façade I put on the outside.

  “A few weeks ago, I was spending time at the club I normally hang out with my buddies. I was on the dance floor when I saw a beautiful brunette in a tight outfit dancing with her friend. Her ass was plump and shaped in a perfect O. I felt like I had to come up behind her and feel what she had against me. I wanted to feel her hips thrusting into mine and when I finally recognized you as the girl from the coffee shop, I felt a rush to get to know you. It was some weird cosmic way of saying that I had to get to know you.”

  “Are you fucking kidding me? That was you?” I hollered at him, getting off the blanket. That night meant something more to me than I had felt in a while. I was falling in love on the dance floor, which scared me. What if I could fall in love in reality? I would only end up getting hurt again. I wasn’t the kind of girl who fell in love. I fell in lust, that is all.

  A confused expression crossed his face as he stood up from the blanket. I grabbed his wrist and lifted the sleeves above his hand. I saw his entire left hand covered in tattoos and there it was again, “Evelyn” was in script on his wrist.

  “Are you married or something? Who is Evelyn?”

  “Is that why you left the dance floor? You saw this?” He grabbed my shoulders trying to pull me into him, but I pushed him away. He was too strong for me so I faltered along the unsteady sand and fell.

  “Who is she? Why are you here with me when you have some other girl’s name tattooed on your arm?”

  “Did it ever cross your mind that maybe that could be for someone who I love very much with all my heart and is a part of my family. She is not someone I have ever slept with, will sleep with or even think about sleeping with. In fact, it is repulsive and almost incestual to even think that.” He huffed and reached his hand out to me, lifting me off the sand and brushing the remaining grains off my backside.

  “I am disgusted by all of this. I am completely creeped out that you keep following me. I don’t know you and then you act like you know me. It’s really making me mad.”

  “Ugh. You’re really something Harper. You cannot imagine how infuriating you are.”

  “I am infuriating?” My voice grew louder as I spoke, “I have no idea who you are and here you are coming in thinking you understand what I have gone through. You have no clue what I have been through in my life and you have no right to tell me how I should let these “demons” out. Quite frankly it’s annoying. This non-date is over. I am going home.” I started to head off until I felt his firm hand grasp my arm.

  In the smallest voice that echoed the voice of a child begging his parents to stop fighting Ryder mumbled, “Please don’t leave me.”

  “I didn’t mean to seem like I was stalking you. I just couldn’t get you out of my head. I kept thinking about the moment we shared at the club and my thoughts keep racing about you.
I want to get to know you. Something about you wants me to save you from your past.”

  My face turned towards his and we were inches away from the water. The tides rolled in and the gentle lull of the water rocked a calm peace over the scene. I looked up at his eyes and for the first time I saw something else in there. Desperation. There was desperation for me to try to understand him.

  “It’s getting late, I should be heading out,” I said knowing that this was far too comfortable for being something so new, so raw. There was something my heartfelt when I was around him. It was like a contrast between the quick pulse and the ravenous passion I had for him with the fullness my heartfelt for him and for his pain. I wanted to understand why he was so desperate to understand me, but I didn’t want to get too close because I knew what happened when you let your guard down…when you fall in love. When you fall in love you must fall out of something and normally that something is yourself. When that loves fails--like all love does--you end up losing yourself and your place in society. Life isn’t fair, but it was my job to make sure that I didn’t get hurt any more than I already had.

  “Please,” I begged quietly, hoping that he would let me go.

  “No,” he said and he grabbed me by my arms and pulled me into his chest. I felt myself letting go and breathing him in, taking in his scent. I needed what was going to happen. There was a force that was pulling us together. A force I couldn’t deny.

  He smelled musky, like worn leather with a hint of vanilla and mint. His chest felt tight and his muscles ripped through the seams of his shirt. I was able to feel every outline of his abs with just my hands that lay against his chest. He stood there holding me; grasping onto my back as if I was going to run away and never come back. After what seemed like an eternity, he let go of me only to stand there with his hands still on my arms looking down at me.

  His blue eyes had a fire in them as they searched my body, scanning it up and down. His neck reached slowly down to meet my mouth. No words had to be exchanged for him to understand that it was okay if he gently laid his lips against mine. His hands reached to cradle the back of my head and ever so slowly he placed his lips against mine. A spark flashed through my entire body. As my lips met his, we began exploring each other’s lips in a dance where two entities meet and unite as one. His hands pushed against my head, pressing my lips harder against his as his tongue slipped into my mouth. A slight groan escaped from my mouth and suddenly I felt ravished with a hunger so deep within me nothing was going to stop my body from giving into him.