by Amelia Wood
Jane sighed. “Father has gone to London to search for Lydia. He writes sometimes but he has nothing new to say.” Jane looked up as the Gardiner’s joined them and smiled in relief. “Father hopes Mr Gardiner might travel to London to assist him in searching,” she added but Mr Gardiner was shaking his head.
“You do not need to ask,” he said. “I have already made arrangements for the carriage to take me there directly. Can you write to him and inform him, Jane? Tell him he must come and stay with me.”
“Thank you, Uncle.” Jane’s eyes filled with tears. “I knew you would do no less, but I am so grateful.” She looked at Elizabeth. “Mama has taken to her bed. She has been there ever since we received the news. Poor thing. It has been a dreadful shock for her.”
“I am sure it has,” said Elizabeth dryly. It would take far less than that to send her mother to her bed to cry and wail and demand the entire household revolve around her.
Mrs Gardiner needed to take her children back to London. Jane had been caring for them while they were away with Elizabeth and though she would not admit it, she was clearly relieved that they were going.
“They are dear children,” she said as she waved them off. “But they have been quite difficult to manage while all this was happening. They will be more settled in London.”
The days passed in a long manner. Most of the neighbourhood kept their distance from the Bennets as though they feared their disgrace was catching. Only Aunt Phillips visited daily and only then to comfort their mother with more and more wild tales of Wickham’s misdeeds which did little more than send Mrs Bennet into a frenzy it took the girls hours to soothe her from afterwards.
“I wish Aunt Phillips would stay away if she had nothing to offer but more trouble,” Elizabeth said testily when they left their mother’s room after one such incident. “I do not know why she comes here just to upset Mama and make more work for us. If she cannot be useful she had far better stay away.”
“She means to be kind,” said Jane in her gentle voice. “She does not always do right but I believe she means well.”
“Well, that is no use to us.”
Jane paused and looked at Elizabeth closely. “What is the matter?” she asked. “I know it is more than Lydia. Something else troubles you and you have been out of sorts ever since you came home. Did something happen while you were away? I hope Mr Darcy or Miss Bingley were not unkind when they learned of our misfortune?”
Elizabeth hesitated. She recalled Darcy’s troubled eyes and the urgency with which he asked her why she was so cold to him. But he had no right to ask that. He had no right to hope she would feel anything at all for him when it was impossible they could marry now. When he had turned cold and distracted when she had told him about Lydia and Wickham. And, worst of all, when he had been taking Miss Bingley to his bed while she slept in the adjoining room. She did not know Darcy at all. No doubt he was congratulating himself on being well rid of her.
But such ungenerous thoughts did nothing to ease her aching heart. Elizabeth still thought about Darcy day after day and longed for him. She missed him so much it was painful. How dreadful she should only realise how much she loved him now when all hope was lost. It was a cruel trick of fate.
“Mr Darcy was not unkind,” she said in a flat voice. “He did not fall over himself with sympathy, perhaps, but he was not unkind. But do you not see, Jane…” She looked at her sister. “It has always been difficult for us to find good matches. And now, thanks to Lydia’s stupid actions, I should say our chances are impossible. The kingdom is full of young, unmarried women of pleasing looks and good breeding even if they do not have a fortune. What man would choose one of us, who are tainted by our association with Lydia when he could choose any of those women instead?”
Jane’s face paled and her eyes were so filled with despair at Elizabeth’s words that Elizabeth was sorry she spoke them.
But they were true and there was little point in pretending otherwise. There was not a man on earth who would take any of them now. And Elizabeth finally realised how much that mattered to her.
22
Mr Bennet was an indifferent correspondence at the best of times and though his daughters had tried to extract a promise from him that he would write every day, he had declined claiming it was useless if he had no information to send them. None of them were surprised when he returned home alone and defeated.
“Gardiner said he will continue to look for them,” he said as he flopped onto the couch after his journey home. “I do not think he will have much luck. They do not want to be found and I do not know of anyone who could seek out a hidden couple in a city the size of London. I am afraid he is wasting his time.”
“You do think they are in London, then?” Elizabeth asked.
“Oh yes. Where else could they remain so well concealed?”
“And Lydia always wanted to go to London,” said Kitty.
Mr Bennet shrugged. “She is happy then. Which is fortunate as her visit there will be of some duration.”
Elizabeth shuddered. “What will happen to Lydia if Wickham does not marry her, Father? Surely he will set her aside when he grows tired of her.”
“And considering what we know of Lydia, that time may come sooner than expected,” said Mr Bennet in a dry voice. “No doubt that is when we shall hear from her again. Lydia is not the sort of girl who will be too proud to come home. She will fling herself on our mercy and demand we take her in and soothe her in her despair over her failed romance. I would not be surprised if she does not have a child or a high belly with her.”
“Father!” exclaimed Jane.
Mr Bennet smiled. “Dearest Jane. There is little point in preserving your innocence — or rather your ignorance at this late stage. Not now your sister has thrown herself away. You will face a hasher world from now on, I am afraid. Ignorance is no longer a virtue.”
Mr Bennet was a sarcastic man at the best of times but Elizabeth found she could not bear him like this. She made her excuse to slip out into the garden and there she remained until Jane called her for dinner.
The next few days passed in a strange limbo. Mrs Bennet was furious with Mr Bennet for returning home without Lydia.
“She will be ruined and all because her father will not fight for her,” she cried.
“That is not why she will be ruined, my dear,” said Mr Bennet sardonically. “She has achieved her ruin all on her own without my input. I cannot take all the credit for it.”
After that, Mr Bennet shut himself away in his library and did not come out.
A few days later a letter finally arrived. Mr Bennet took it. As he read the words, his face changed. Without a word, he left the house.
The girls looked at one another over the breakfast table. Almost as one, they jumped up and ran to follow him outside.
“What is the matter, Father?” Elizabeth demanded. “Has Uncle found Lydia? She is not hurt?”
“No, she is not hurt.” He handed the letter to his daughters. “Read it for yourselves.”
Jane and Elizabeth grabbed the missive eagerly while Kitty and Mary hovered nearby.
“What does it say?” Kitty demanded. “Will Lydia invite me to visit her? Where is she?”
“Is her virtue intact?” Mary asked primly.
Elizabeth ignored them as she scanned the pages. Her eyes widened.
“They are married,” she exclaimed.
Kitty squealed with delight.
“Married! Now she will definitely have me stay with her. Oh, this is wonderful!”
“Stay with Lydia? Ha! No, Kitty. I have learned my lesson from Lydia’s behaviour and you shall be the beneficiary. You will never travel to be with Lydia even when you are an old woman. You will stay quietly at home and learn to conduct yourself in a sensible manner. No more balls and dances,” said Mr Bennet.
Kitty, who always took her father literally, burst into tears and ran away.
“This is wonderful,” said Jane. “He must re
ally love her. They must have planned to marry all along.”
“You think that, Jane. If it gives you comfort. But I suspect your uncle had a firmer hand in this than he tells me. It would not be easy to prevail on a man like Wickham to marry the girl he has seduced. I do not know how I will ever pay him back.”
Elizabeth did not know what to think. Having Wickham for a brother was unconscionable but it was the best outcome to a bad situation. At least their reputations would not be destroyed and there was still a small flicker of hope that her sisters would marry.
For herself, the image of Caroline Bingley was still burned into her mind. With all that had happened, it seemed impossible to think there was any way her and Darcy could ever come together. She finally realised he was the man most suited to her just when all hope was lost. But as her family celebrated, she was forced to smile and pretend to be in good cheer before she aroused any suspicions. And when they became too much for her to bear, she decided she needed a walk.
Elizabeth could not walk among the trees around Meryton without thinking of the last time she walked in the country; that fateful day when Darcy rescued her. How shocked she had been to see him. She had been convinced she was imagining his presence just for a moment. Painful though it was, the memory made her smile now. If only things had turned out differently between them. But there was no point in ever thinking that way. Too much had passed now. Elizabeth would simply have to learn to make her peace with the loss of Darcy. She was not the first woman to experience heartbreak.
A light breeze ruffled her hair. It was high summer now and the day was warm. Elizabeth raised her face to the sky and closed her eyes to enjoy the cool breeze on her skin. If she was disappointed in love, she thought, it was some consolation to know she would always have this. It was the perfect balm to a wounded heart.
Her peace was interrupted by the sound of a horse galloping in her direction. Elizabeth straightened up and looked about her for the newcomer. Their neighbours had been distant since their disgrace. How would this one greet her? At least she could tell them news of Lydia’s marriage and have the entertainment of seeing their attitude change in an instant. She smiled in anticipation.
The newcomer came around the corner. Elizabeth opened her mouth to greet them but it remained open and the words unspoken. Her mind spun as she tried to take in who was before her.
23
He was just as surprised. Elizabeth whirled about to walk away from him, then scolded herself for her stupidity and turned towards him again. Darcy jumped down from his horse.
“Do not move too fast, if you please, Miss Bennet. Though there are no drops here, I would not be responsible for a sprained ankle.”
Elizabeth cleared her throat. “Mr Darcy,” she said. “What are you doing here?”
Darcy led his horse towards her. There was something tentative in his movements.
“I was coming to Longbourn,” he said. “I wished to see you and see how you were.”
“You came all the way to Hertfordshire to see how I did?”
“Not exactly. I have been in London for the past few days.”
“London? I had no idea you meant to go there.”
“My business there was rather sudden.” Darcy’s eyes drifted from hers just for a moment but it was enough. Elizabeth stared at him.
“Did you have something to do with this?”
“To do with what?”
Elizabeth hesitated. She looked at him closely. “We have just received news that Lydia and Wickham are married. And you left for London not long after we left. Probably right after we left. Am I correct?”
Darcy paused for a moment and nodded. “Miss Bennet…”
Elizabeth’s heart was racing faster. “You went to London to find them, did you not? You prevailed upon Wickham to marry Lydia. We could not work out how my uncle managed it but your influence makes sense. Did you really do all this for my family?”
A pained look crossed Darcy’s face. “I did.”
“Why?”
Darcy glanced at a spot over Elizabeth’s head and grimaced. “Because the error was mine so the remedy must be as well. It is my fault that Wickham’s character was not more generally known. I knew what he was but I kept quiet because of my pride. If I had put the wellbeing of everyone else before that, Wickham would never have had the opportunity to elope with your sister. It fell to me to make it right.”
“Then my family and I must thank you,” said Elizabeth. Her voice was hoarse. “You do not know what this means to us, sir. I am exceedingly grateful.”
Darcy shifted his gaze to look at Elizabeth. He still looked pained. “I did not wish you to know I had a hand in it. I persuaded your uncle and aunt and sister to secrecy. If I had not been so impatient to come to Hertfordshire to see you, I would not have made it so obvious.”
Elizabeth took a step towards him. “But why?” she cried. “Why on earth would you not want me to know you had done something so wonderful? You must know I would want to know so I could thank you.”
Darcy looked at her directly. “And you must know that I might fear that my actions might be construed in a mischievous light. I did this for you. Because I could not bear the thought that you were unhappy and fearful for your family’s future. I could put it right so I did. But I did not want you to know about it because I did not want you to think, even for a moment, that I wanted you to feel obligated to me. If I had been more cautious and did not gallop over here so soon after, I might have succeeded.”
Elizabeth blushed and looked away in confusion. “Mr Darcy, you saved my life. If anything is likely to make me feel obligated, it is that.”
Darcy took a step towards her. “You do not feel obligated to me?” His voice was harsh.
Elizabeth started. “No! I just mean if anything were likely to make me feel that way, you had already done it. But I know you would never do anything so underhanded. It is not in your nature.”
Her words struck Darcy with force. His eyes widened and then he looked away. He turned back to Elizabeth.
“Dare I hope you now think better of me than you did Easter?” he asked in a softer voice. But there was an urgency underneath that told Elizabeth how important this question was to him.
“I do,” said Elizabeth quietly. “I do not like to think about what I said back then. I was quick to judge and it turned out I was completely wrong. It was a difficult lesson to learn. But I see you as a very different man now. Quite the opposite of who you were then.”
Darcy took a breath. “It was a hard lesson for me too. I was resentful at first and railed against your aspersions. But once I thought about it, I was forced to realise the truth of much of what you said. I was proud and disdainful. I thought little of anyone behind my own circle. It took realising that it cost me a woman truly worthy of being pleased before I saw my own pretensions. It was a bitter lesson to learn but necessary. And one I might never have learned if not for you…” He took another step towards her.
Elizabeth’s heart raced so fast she was sure it echoed over the woods. But another thought came to her that sent it all crashing to the ground.
“Miss Bingley,” she said.
Darcy frowned. “I beg your pardon?”
Elizabeth felt her face burn. “I know of you and Miss Bingley,” she said. “Do not worry. I have not told a soul and I have no intention of doing so. But I saw her emerge from your room that last night. I know you have been together.”
Darcy stared at her aghast. “You were there? You saw her?”
Elizabeth’s heart sank at his response. “I did.”
Darcy shook his head. His mouth was flat and his eyes flashed. “That woman. She might have succeeded after all.” He moved closer to Elizabeth. “I can assure you there was nothing of that sort at all between Miss Bingley and I. She did come to my room that night to try to force me to compromise her. Needless to say, I sent her away at once and I told her very firmly that I did not care who discovered us together, that I would
never marry her. Of course, she might have succeeded in her aim of at least keeping you and I apart if you think we were together.”
“Keeping us apart?” Elizabeth repeated in a daze. Her hopes rose so high she almost feared them.
“She knows how I feel about you. She hoped I would be forced to marry her. She was in a rush to do so because I think she feared a proposal was imminent.”
All at once, a wave of relief hit Elizabeth with such force that she covered her face with her hands and walked away. Darcy dropped the reins and hurried after her.
“What is the matter?” he asked anxiously. “Are you crying?”
Elizabeth dropped her hands from her face. There were tears in her eyes but she was also smiling.
No, not smiling. Laughing.
“I cannot believe it,” she said. “I was sure you were together. I feared seeing a marriage announcement every day.”
“You feared it?” said Darcy. He reached out his hands to place them on her arms and turned her gently so she was looking up at him, her eyes shining. “Does this mean you might care for me?” When Elizabeth did not respond right away, he spoke again. “You are too generous to trifle with me further. If your feelings are what they were last Easter, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes are unchanged. But one word from you will silence me on this subject forever.”
“My feelings!” cried Elizabeth. “Oh, Mr Darcy, how can you not know? My feelings and affections are entirely different from what they were last Easter. In fact, they are quite the opposite.”
Darcy stared down at her with such heartfelt happiness that she thought he had never looked more handsome. He bent his face to hers and when his lips brushed hers, she thought her heart might explode with joy. He finally released her and pressed his forehead to hers, both their breathes coming heavily.
“And will you marry me?” he asked in a hoarse voice.
“Nothing would make me happier,” she replied. He kissed her again. Then again and again. When they finally broke apart, it was only because Darcy was eager to visit Longbourn and get permission from Mr Bennet to marry Elizabeth as soon as possible.