The Forbidden Rose

by Bourne, Joanna

  “I’d ask myself how the boy got money to stake himself with.” Guillaume fed Decorum a bite of bread. “But I don’t want to know.” He raised his voice and turned to the farmer behind them. “Citoyen. Over there. Who’s that?”

  Four men rode down the line of farmers and carters, kicking up dust. They were well dressed and young and rode fine horses.

  “Delegates,” the farmer said. “Going to the Convention.” He glanced at Guillaume.

  The man in line ahead of them spoke up. “They been out in the villages, enforcing the price controls, I daresay.”

  “Likely.” There was a moment’s shared appreciation. “Early at it.”

  “Oh, oui.” The farmer’s cart creaked as he shifted his weight. “Working night and day for the good of the common man.”

  She knew—everyone in line knew—where the delegates had been. Lovely, expensive women lived in the villages beyond the gates of Paris. The maximum price of the onions and cabbages was set by law. The price of women was not.

  The gate opened and the barrière swung up. The delegates rode through with scarcely a pause and no questions asked.

  The gate guard looked after them and shrugged. He turned impatiently to the first of the farmers. “Come on, then.”

  A rustle spread down the line. Men leaning on cart wheels or against the tail of wagons mounted the seat and took reins. Voices rose, talking to animals. Pointing out, one man to another, that the gate was open. Saying, one woman to another, that finally they could go in. The first cart pulled forward. A farmer with many chickens was admitted to inspection.

  “Your papers.” The gate guard held out his hand. The line trickled toward the gate. “Next. Your papers.”

  She edged along after Guillaume, keeping her gaze modestly lowered to her knitting. The line was moving almost at walking pace. The guards gave a perfunctory glance at passports. Wagons weren’t even looked at.

  “Next. Papers.”

  Their turn. They stepped to the barrière. If her description was posted in the guardhouse . . . One vigilant guard would be enough. If anyone looked at her face, at the softness of her hands. She hid them under the knitting wool as much as she could.

  The guard did not even glance at their papers. Did not look at her. “Next.” He greeted the farmer behind them. “Jacques. You’re early.”

  Guillaume slapped Decorum on the rump. Adrian slipped in behind the donkeys, appearing from nowhere. She had stopped being startled by this.

  “Sixteen sous,” he said. “You’d think they never heard of loaded dice in this country.”

  “No point talking to you, is there?” Guillaume said.

  Fifteen

  PARIS HAD CHANGED, EVEN IN THE THREE MONTHS she’d been away. It was more shadowed. More afraid. Darker. Fear seeped from the mortar of the houses, from the cobbles of the streets. It was like coming again to the home of an old grandmother, with each visit finding her a little weaker, a little more mad.

  “We’ll stop for coffee,” Guillaume said.

  “It is just as well. I would wake up the household and worry them if I arrived at this hour.”

  She did not need to eat. She needed twenty more minutes with Guillaume LeBreton. She was hungry for five hundred words from him. For two accidental touches of her hand upon his. For hearing him laugh just once more.

  They ate in a café in Rue de Lombard, not far from Les Halles, at the Café des Marchands. Guillaume was known here. Everyone nodded to him as he took a table. They stared at her with some interest. It was a café frequented by market men and women, all of them hungry and in a great hurry. The slices of bread in the basket on the table were of fine flour, better than she had seen in the boulangeries of the best streets. There was something to be said for eating in a café patronized by the violent, well-organized merchants of Les Halles. They could ignore regulations. The coffee, too, spoke to her of stores kept under the counter and sold only to special customers.

  Adrian, narrow-eyed, watching everything, took a bowl of milky coffee outside and squatted by the donkeys to defend the carrots from pilferage. It was as if a cat came to a new neighborhood and was not certain he liked it.

  Guillaume drank red wine. He took it in quick gulps, without tasting, the way the men around him did, as if he, too, were in a hurry, his mind on a spot in the market and the exchange of copper sous for vegetables. He ate neatly, taking a hard bite of bread and washing wine over his teeth to soften it before he chewed. It was a workingman’s way of eating, crude and efficient. A stoical fueling of the body. He was intensely, alertly aware of her the whole time. She felt him thinking about her even though he did not look at her once.

  He said, “Still not hungry?”

  She shook her head.

  He spoke, very low, “I think you’re safe. There’s no order posted at the barrière. I looked, when we passed the guardhouse. No order for your friends either.”

  She had seen the same thing. No arrest order. It was one more question of the many questions she was collecting. She would have liked to ask Guillaume what he thought this meant, but, of course, she could not.

  So she was silent. After she’d taken a few more sips, she said, “I like this place. They serve good coffee.”

  “I come here when I’m in Paris. If you leave a message with these people, I’ll get it.”

  “There will be no occasion. After today, we will not see each other again.”

  Soon they would leave this place and go to the Hôtel de Fleurignac. She would become Marguerite de Fleurignac again. She would become immeasurably distant from Guillaume LeBreton, seller of books, rogue and smuggler.

  One cannot put the fruit back on the tree. One cannot unbreak the egg. She could not, not ever again for all of eternity, unknow what she knew of his body. Someday, when she was old, she would take this knowledge out as if it were a letter she had treasured. By then, the pain would be thin and crackly, like old paper.

  She would be changed as well. She was quite certain old women did not feel this sort of pain. As if the air were knives that cut, going in and out of the throat.

  She was not Marguerite de Fleurignac yet. She was still Maggie. She would not be logical.

  “We cannot stay here for two hours and not invite curiosity. I have a friend who lives in this quartier, not far from here.” She set her coffee down on the table and looked directly into his eyes. “She will let me use her room. Will you come with me?”

  Sixteen

  DOYLE LEFT HAWKER GUARDING THE BOTTOM OF the stairs and climbed three narrow flights to a room under the roof. He didn’t have to meet Maggie’s friend to know something about her. He summed her up in a glance around the room—young, on the small side, stylish. The clothes hanging on hooks on the wall belonged to a pretty grisette, a shopgirl, from the fashionable boulevards. She liked bright printed cloth and red ribbons in her caps.

  Maggie went to draw the curtains back and open the window. “She is away, my friend Jeanne. She won’t mind us coming here.”

  We’re going to make love in her bed. Hope she won’t mind that, either.

  It was a clean, crowded, charming room. The window faced east. The ceiling slanted. He’d be banging his head if he wasn’t careful. Sometimes there was no advantage being the size he was.

  Carts and wagons clattered early in this quartier, bringing in vegetables. Not a quiet place to live—there’d be that rumble in the background all day—but somebody’d made a nest here. There were homey touches of color and a lavender smell from the bedclothes.

  The friend had been gone about a week. Long enough that the room felt deserted. Not time enough for dust to settle on the table or the chest of drawers.

  This Jeanne would be part of Maggie’s clandestine goings-on, like the Gypsy and the cooper’s wife in Normandy. They were in La Flèche, the lot of them. He’d stake money on it. Maggie would run something like La Flèche.

  “I have been wise.” Maggie held the curtain back. He could see the curve of her cheek
, outlined by the light of the sky. “Almost all my life.”

  Not so wise. You’re risking your neck every hour you stay in France. But he hadn’t come here so they could be wise together.

  The bed was neatly made, piled with blue pillows. The ropes creaked, the straws of the mattress whispered, when he sat down on the blanket to pull his boots free. The rough of his hands snagged on satin when he pushed the pillows to the side of the bed. He could hear his father calling them “peasant paws.”

  Maggie didn’t seem to mind.

  I’ve kept my hands off you, Maggie de Fleurignac. I am just damned tired of it.

  Whatever her father had done, Maggie wasn’t any part of the assassinations in England. His gut said that, and he trusted his gut. And a man couldn’t walk around being tentative and cautious all the time in case the woman he wanted turned out to be murderous.

  She was talking to herself or to the air outside, sounding wistful and determined. “Part of me says I do not have so many days left. I would like, just this once, to do what Marguerite wants. What Maggie wants.” He could picture the smile on her. The right side of her mouth hid itself down in the corner when she made that kind of smile. “Do you know . . . I have never made love in an actual bed.”

  It was like standing outside a house in the cold, seeing all the warmth in the world inside there. And the door opened to welcome him in.

  He said, “Come here,” and she came to him.

  WE will make love now, Marguerite thought.

  She had brought him to Jeanne’s rooms and climbed the stairs and closed the door behind them, knowing they would do this.

  He pulled his shirt over his head and loosed his arms from the sleeves and shook it out, casually, to toss over the bedstead. He was half naked before her, wholly masculine. She knew men like him from marble statues. From pictures of heroes in books.

  Jean-Paul had been fifteen when she’d been with him. A boy, rather than a man. He had been smooth and beautiful as Endymion.

  Guillaume LeBreton was the Minotaur. Man and beast. Human and wild. He had never deceived her about his nature. She had known he was powerful and dangerous from the first moment she saw him. It was her choice whether she would run away or come to him.

  It seemed she would approach.

  He drew her closer to him so that she stood between his thighs as he sat on the bed. His hands were heavy and warm, resting at her waist. She would lean into the strength and let him take her where he would. Already, she was breathing sharp and deep. Her skin tightened in odd places. At her breasts. Up and down her arms. It felt like being afraid, this excitement. But it was not. She desired him.

  They had very little time together. She must not waste it.

  She helped him undress her. Ties untangled. Clothing fell away to the floorboards. Her cap was tossed aside. Guillaume pulled down her braid and separated it into long strands with his fingers. She felt it all the way down her whole length. When he stroked her hair back from her face, the caress shuddered in the intimate core of her. Tingled at her breasts.

  Then she was standing in her shift. Only her shift. She could not quite continue. It was too much. Too sudden. Her skin was too sensitive. It would sting like a shock when he touched her. She felt the imprint of his hand through the soft linen, gliding up her body, bringing the shift with it. Her breath edged raggedly, in and out. She did not try to hide what she was feeling.

  This hour is mine. He is mine. Later I will—

  He reached her breasts. Slipped soft linen across her, up and then down, stroking her with it. The folds caught, snagging her and tugging and stroking over her. He kissed gently at her nipples, through the fabric, back and forth from one to the other.

  She gasped and arched toward him.

  “Let’s get rid of this.” He lifted the shift up and over her head in one sudden unpeeling. Her hair fell back and swept down her skin and hid her. Then his hands discovered her breasts within the curtain of her hair. Shaped her breasts. His thumbs were eloquent on her nipples.

  “You have pretty tits,” he said. “Just absolutely perfect tits.”

  “And you are crude beyond measurement.”

  “Just saying the truth.”

  He was earthy and forthright and he did not choose to speak like a gentleman. He could, but he chooses not to.

  I do not want a gentleman.

  They shared one breath and then another, face-to-face. She was taller than he was, this way, when he sat upon the bed and she stood. He did not overwhelm her with his strength. Every moment was her choice. Her decision. His hands slid slowly up and down her body, rasping lightly because they were the hands of a warrior. Not soft. Not pampered. He pulled her body into fascination. Enthralled her.

  When she held his upper arm, her fingers didn’t circle half the distance around.

  I am not like my friends, who take many lovers and walk away unscathed. There will be a price for this. It will cost me dearly. “This is a mistake. But I do not care.”

  “A mistake. We can regret it later,” he said.

  “That is my intention.” She had not expected the hair of his chest to be soft to the touch. Had not thought she would feel such strength beneath his skin. He held amazement within him, everywhere she laid her hands.

  She bent toward his mouth. He stretched upward to her, to meet her. It was as if she attached a string to a mountain and it came to her when she pulled. His lips were smooth and hot. The trembling she felt was all her own. The doubt and the nervousness, all hers. He had no doubts at all.

  A small kiss. Not hesitant, but a slow beginning of something he would not hurry. More kisses. Intense. Absorbed. Each different. He urged her head toward him the tiniest notch. Took her mouth. It was feeling and feeling again and only feeling until he was the world, and she was gasping for breath.

  She could become lost in this man, as one did in the winds of a storm.

  She put her hand to his cheek, studying the textures of his face. He had shaved by candlelight this morning, at the stream that ran through the field they’d slept in. Already he wore scratchy strong bristles again. He must fight continually with them.

  Then, exploring, she went to touch his scar. To know what it felt like.

  He caught her hand. “Leave it be.” A whisper. He turned her palm over and kissed inside it. That was shivery. A wonderful distraction, as he meant it to be. “Pretend it’s not there.”

  She had not dreamed the scar would matter to him. It did not matter to her. “I do not mind it.”

  “I don’t either. But that’s not what we’re sharing today.”

  He stood up from the bed. They were so close his skin touched her everywhere as he rose and rose to his full height and took her against him. She felt, rather than saw, that he was undoing the buttons of his trouser band. That he was slipping his clothes off.

  His cock was erect and proud and triumphant against the skin of her belly, full and heavy and male.

  I was not prepared for this . . . largeness. I should have paid more attention to rude stories and jokes that dealt with this.

  He was warm in all of his body, but his cock was particularly warm. She imagined it inside her, as it would soon be. We will solve this problem of his largeness. His size cannot be . . . unmanageable. Someone would have said this to him. And I am ingenious. She molded herself close to him and turned her cheek to be flat on his chest. There would be no space between them. She shivered everywhere, but she was not cold.

  She would open to him. That was the gateway to pleasure. She would travel this country that was Guillaume.

  He brought their mouths together and it was wonder and heat. Wonder that spun and buzzed and throbbed between her legs. She was lifted somehow. All unreal. All magical. She was on the bed, on blankets. The pillows scattered. He was beside her, massive as mountains. Deep beyond deep, in the cavern of his chest, Guillaume said, “This is . . . yes. This is yes.”

  She was a hollow of expectation, filled only with need. N
o trace of thought. Nothing but breath and the feeling of his skin. She could do nothing clever, only hold on to him.

  He knelt between her knees. He lifted her hips in his hands. He was huge within her, entering slowly. His fingers were soft between her parted legs. There was lightning in the touch of him. She heard him saying she was beautiful. Every breath of her was lovely. This. And this. Perfect. She was a flower. He stroked and she pulsed upward toward him. Curled to him, desperate.

  Pleasure gripped her, as if it were a hand that closed around her and shook her. She thrashed with it and cried out and shuddered.

  She felt him inside her. Felt wild force, barely held in check. Felt him withdraw. Felt his whole body stiffen. He thrust onto her belly and threw back his head and groaned. She was held, fiercely, by all the huge strength.

  Bit by bit, he collapsed upon her, breathing hard. Very heavy. Very comforting. Right and natural in her arms. She opened her eyes and she was enclosed in a warm landscape of the muscle and flesh and bone of his chest.

  “I’m crushing you.” He rolled to the side and settled next to her. They lay on the narrow bed together. She was tucked close to his body. One arm lay across her. The other cradled her head.

  He did not take the chance of making a child. He was careful with me. That is one more truth I know about Guillaume.

  He said, “Let me hold you. We have a minute for that.” His breath tickled her face.

  She pressed her ear against him. I have this minute. Her mind drifted in the sound of his heartbeat, in the stream of his life.

  I have fallen in love. It does not change anything.

  Seventeen

  “STREET’S EMPTY.” GUILLAUME SLOUCHED UP TO her. “Let’s go.”