The Playboy's Proposal

by Amanda Browning

  Kathryn’s lips parted on a tiny gasp of surprise, even as her heart swelled with pleasure. There it was again, that caring he professed not to have any time for. He didn’t want to see her hurt, and he didn’t want her the subject of general gossip. That had to mean something, didn’t it? Deep down inside, he had to care, didn’t he? Lord, how she wished she knew for sure. Hiding her feelings was so unnatural. She wanted to reach out to him, show him how much she cared. It was getting harder to hold back all the time.

  Swallowing a lump that blocked her throat, she smiled. ‘Thank you. That was very thoughtful.’

  ‘You’re welcome, but it was entirely selfish. I don’t want to share you. I want to keep you all to myself.’

  That declaration warmed her heart, and Kathryn guarded it jealously as she combed her fingers through his hair, enjoying the silky texture. ‘Well, I have no problem with that,’ she said softly. ‘I want you all to myself, too.’

  Joel caught her hand and pressed a kiss to her palm. ‘I’ve never known anyone like you. You make no demands. Isn’t there anything you want?’

  Her heart ached. She wanted so many things she couldn’t name them all. But, in the long run, her happiness boiled down to one thing alone. Him. ‘Well, now you come to mention it, I could do with your help opening a bottle of wine,’ she said teasingly, loving the way laughter softened his face.

  ‘Now, that is something I can do,’ he declared, coming to his feet in one smooth movement with her still in his arms. Only in the kitchen did he lower her to the ground, tantalisingly allowing her body to slide down the length of his as he did so.

  Kathryn looked up at him, her eyes twinkling. ‘Hmm, your mood seems to have changed for the better,’ she teased saucily, having felt his body respond to her as quickly as hers did to him.

  ‘The things you do to me!’ Joel grinned and gently pushed her away. ‘I’d better see to the wine before you distract me too much.’

  Laughing, she turned to the cooker. ‘You can lay the table whilst you’re about it. That should cool your ardour.’

  ‘Don’t you believe it, sweetheart,’ he retorted as he retrieved the bottle from the refrigerator. ‘Just being in the same room as you turns me on. I thought it would have lessened by now, but the more I see of you, the more I want. I’m addicted.’

  She halted in the process of unwrapping some steak. ‘Is that a good thing or a bad thing?’

  ‘Oh, good. Definitely good. I usually get bored easily, but you’re never boring, Kathryn. In fact, you’re constantly surprising me.’

  ‘I like keeping you on your toes. I wouldn’t want our relationship to grow stale,’ she returned, concentrating on what she was cooking.

  Joel set the opened bottle of wine on the table and came across to collect the cutlery. ‘It will never get stale,’ he told her, and she felt her smile fade. Without looking at him, she corrected him.

  ‘Yes, it will. One day.’

  He glanced sideways at her, frowning. ‘Why do you say that?’ he asked, and she did look at him now, her lips twisting wryly.

  ‘Because my successor is out there somewhere, waiting to catch your eye,’ she told him simply.

  Joel stared at her, his frown deepening. Something flickered in the far reaches of his eyes, but she didn’t know how to interpret it. Then he was turning away, setting places at the table.

  ‘I wasn’t thinking that far ahead,’ he said uncomfortably, which was so unlike him she had to turn and watch him. ‘I’m just happy that you’re here now.’

  ‘Are you?’

  He glanced up. ‘Of course. There isn’t anyone else I want to be with right now.’

  ‘But you can’t rule out the possibility that that will change in the future?’ she charged, being urged on by her feelings for him.

  ‘No, I can’t do that. Why are you asking me this now, Kathryn?’ he probed, eyes narrowing on her face.

  ‘I guess I just need to know where I stand.’ She shrugged, smiling wryly.

  Joel put down the cutlery and came across to her, taking her by the shoulders and giving her a gentle shake. ‘We’re together now, and I’m happy with that. I thought you were, too.’

  ‘I am,’ she insisted, quick to reassure him. ‘I’m just being fanciful. Forget I mentioned it. Let me get these steaks on, or we won’t be eating until midnight.’ She twisted out of his hold and busily set about collecting a frying pan and olive oil. She could sense Joel watching her, but she refused to turn around. Eventually he returned to the table.

  Nothing more was said, and it was forgotten when they sat down to eat the meal she had prepared. She told him about her day, and he related more of his run-ins with her brothers, but in such a way that she was more amused than angry.

  She was still laughing when the front doorbell rang. They were washing up, and she paused in the act of drying a plate. Surprised, she glanced up at the clock. It was almost ten o’clock.

  ‘Who on earth can that be?’ She frowned, setting the plate and tea towel aside, then heading for the door.

  The man standing on her doorstep when she opened the door could have been one of her brothers, except for his greying hair.

  ‘Dad!’ Kathryn exclaimed in equal amounts of surprise and dismay. ‘This is a surprise! What brings you here?’ she added lamely, and wasn’t surprised by the old-fashioned look he graced her with.

  ‘Are you going to invite me in?’ Victor Templeton prompted his daughter, and she stepped back, casting a weather eye towards the kitchen, but there was no sign of Joel.

  ‘Of course. Come in.’ She left him to close the door and led the way into the sitting room. There she turned, rather like a stag at bay, nervously rubbing her hands together. ‘Er…sit down, won’t you? Would you like a drink?’

  Her father cut through all the polite inanities and came right to the point. ‘What’s this I hear about you and that Kendrick fellow?’

  Her back went up immediately at that, and her nervousness vanished as she folded her arms belligerently. ‘His name is Joel, and what exactly did you want to know?’ She hadn’t been looking forward to this meeting with her father, but now that the moment was here she was prepared to do battle.

  Red flags of colour stained his lined cheeks at her reply. ‘So you are going out with him.’

  ‘I’m sure Nat and the others have already told you so. What you really want to know is if I’m sleeping with him, and the answer to that is yes, I am,’ she told him with a defiant lift of her chin.

  Victor Templeton took in an angry breath. ‘Don’t get lippy with me, Kathryn. I’m still your father.’

  Kathryn sighed at the unnecessary reminder. ‘I know you are, and I love you, but you have no right to try to interfere in my life, Dad,’ she told him, as she had told her brother.

  ‘I wouldn’t call concern interfering,’ he argued, closing the distance between them, and she could see the concern written on his face.

  ‘You mean you have no intention of trying to break us up?’ she countered chidingly, and her father ground his teeth impotently, for, as they both knew, that was what he had intended.

  He tried another tack. ‘I know you, Kathryn. You would never go into a relationship unless you cared for the man, which does you credit, but in this case he’s unworthy of you.’

  ‘I disagree. He is worthy; you just don’t know him. He’s a good man, Dad,’ she retorted, staunchly defensive.

  ‘I know you think so, but he’s what we used to call a philanderer, a playboy,’ he returned forcefully. ‘He’s just toying with your affections. He won’t marry you, you know.’

  If he’d hoped to unsettle her with that, he failed. ‘I’m fully aware of that,’ she said evenly, and his eyes widened.

  ‘Doesn’t that bother you?’

  Kathryn sighed again, then lowered her voice and motioned her father to do the same. ‘I’d be lying if I said it didn’t. Of course I want to marry him. I love him. I want to spend my life with him, have children with him. But I ha
ve to be practical. That isn’t what he wants. I know this is just another affair to him, and maybe it does hurt to know that, but if that’s all he can give, I’ll take it.’

  He father stared at her in consternation. ‘Can you hear yourself? Don’t you have any pride?’

  Kathryn disliked disappointing him this way, but it was her life, her decision. She held his gaze stoically. ‘Apparently not.’

  ‘Does he love you?’

  It was a calculatingly cruel question, and she felt it to her soul. Nevertheless, she answered honestly, for there was no point in lying. ‘No. I think he cares about me, but no, he doesn’t love me.’ She didn’t tell him that Joel didn’t believe love existed.

  ‘Damn it, that makes no sense! If he doesn’t love you, Kathryn, why put yourself through this?’ Victor asked in a softer, more cajoling tone.

  ‘I told you. Because I love him, Dad, that’s why.’

  Her father raised his hands helplessly, then dropped them to his sides with a shake of his head. ‘Does he know you love him?’

  She shook her head. ‘No.’

  He dragged both hands through his hair in a gesture she recognised well. ‘If I can’t persuade you to see sense, just remember you know where we are when you need us.’

  She had known he would say that in the end, and it brought a lump to her throat. ‘Thanks for caring so much. I’m sorry if I’ve disappointed you.’

  ‘You could never disappoint me, Kathryn. I realise this is your life, and I have to let you live it, but it isn’t easy to let go, not when I can see you heading for disaster. Is he really worth it?’

  ‘I think so,’ she declared with a reassuring smile, which made him sigh and hold out his arms.

  ‘Come and give me a hug, then,’ he ordered gruffly, and, crossing the room, Kathryn slipped into his arms, feeling comforted, as she had when she was a child.

  A noise at the doorway made them both turn in that direction. Joel stood there, his expression enquiring. He looked from her to her father and back again. Her heart lurched, as she wondered if he had overheard anything, despite their efforts to speak softly.

  ‘Kathryn? Is everything all right?’ he asked smoothly as he came into the room.

  He was too bland, she decided. He had to have heard something. Easing away from her father, she took her cue from Joel and smiled and nodded. ‘Perfectly. My father called round unexpectedly,’ she explained, her eyes searching his. But he was giving nothing away.

  He turned to her father with an easy smile and held out his hand. ‘Good evening, Mr Templeton. I’m sure you know who I am,’ he greeted, with more than a hint of irony.

  ‘Your fame goes before you, Mr Kendrick,’ Victor Templeton returned with heavy meaning, nevertheless shaking the proffered hand.

  Joel’s smile broadened. ‘Yes. I had the pleasure of meeting your sons earlier.’

  ‘They’re very protective of their sister,’ her father confided unnecessarily. ‘Woe betide anyone who does her harm.’

  Joel inclined his head, then looked squarely at the older man. ‘I have no intention of harming your daughter, sir.’

  ‘That may be, young man, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions,’ Victor pronounced portentously, and Joel winced.

  ‘The trouble with having a reputation like mine is that nobody believes I could have good intentions,’ he returned wryly, and Kathryn’s father harrumphed.

  ‘Probably because you’ve gone out of your way to prove the opposite. But I take your point and promise you this. By my family you will be judged by your actions now. My daughter believes you’re a good man, don’t prove her wrong,’ Victor Templeton warned, before turning to his daughter and kissing her cheek. ‘I’ll say goodnight now, Kathryn. Remember what I said.’ He gave Joel one last pointed look, then marched from the room.

  ‘I’ll see you out, Dad,’ Kathryn said, following him to the door. There her father squeezed her arm comfortingly.

  ‘I hope for your sake he does prove me wrong,’ he said, before striding down the path to his car.

  Kathryn closed the door with a sense of fatalism. If she was right, the cat was well and truly out of the bag, and there was nothing she could do about it. The ball was in Joel’s court. She returned to the sitting room, feeling calmer than she had expected to. Joel was standing by the fireplace, head lowered, gaze fixed on the empty grate. He straightened as she entered, his hands slipping into his trouser pockets as he watched her consideringly.

  Halting several feet away from him, she took the bull by the horns. ‘How long had you been standing out there?’ she asked, though in her mind it was a foregone conclusion.

  ‘Long enough,’ he said coolly, and she nodded wryly.

  ‘You know, then.’ It was a statement, not a question.

  ‘That you love me? Yes,’ he confirmed, without even the faintest flicker of emotion. They could have been discussing the weather for all the interest he showed.

  Kathryn grimaced inwardly. Had she been hoping for a miraculous declaration of similar feelings, she would have been disappointed. She was too sensible for that, but his apparent indifference did hurt. He could at least have been angry, she thought irritably.

  In response her chin went up a notch. ‘You weren’t meant to hear any of that. Do you make a habit of listening at keyholes?’

  That did get a response. A nerve started ticking in his jaw. ‘When you didn’t come back I thought the caller might be one of your brothers and that you might need moral support. When I realised it was your father, I hesitated,’ Joel confessed tightly, and she smiled grimly.

  ‘And consequently heard more than you’d bargained for!’ she jibed.

  Blue eyes locked with green. ‘Is it true? Did you mean it?’

  She held his gaze unflinchingly. ‘It isn’t something I would lie about. I do love you.’ For all the good it does me.

  It was Joel who looked away for a second, dragging a hand through his hair before sighing and looking at her again. ‘You hid it well.’

  Kathryn laughed. ‘Well, I’m hardly going to wear my heart on my sleeve, am I? Not when I know you don’t want to know,’ she told him pointedly. ‘And, as you still don’t want to know, I suggest you just forget about it. I don’t know about you, but I could do with some coffee. I’ll set it filtering whilst we finish the washing up,’ she went on matter-of-factly, turning on her heel and walking back to the kitchen.

  It wasn’t easy to act so blasé, but she had no choice. She was absolutely not going to have him pity her. No way would she be able to bear that.

  Kathryn was spooning coffee into the filter when Joel caught up with her. Taking her by the shoulder, he spun her round so fast she dropped the packet. When she met his eyes they were no longer cool, but there was a blaze in their depths that set her heart tripping.

  ‘How can you be so damned cool about it?’ he demanded, with all the emotion she could have hoped for.

  With a swift gesture she brushed his hand away. ‘Because beating my breast and tearing my hair out would be a waste of time. I’m being “cool” because I have no choice,’ she told him as she hunkered down to retrieve what she could of the coffee.

  Joel instantly hauled her back up again. ‘What do you mean, you have no choice?’ he charged, taking the coffee packet from her and tossing it onto the counter top, where it spilled out again.

  Ignoring the coffee, Kathryn turned to the sink, picked up the tea towel and began drying dishes. ‘I have no choice because nothing has changed, has it?’ she threw over her shoulder.

  Impatiently Joel took the cloth and dish from her, set them aside with a clatter that made her wince for her crockery, and almost frog-marched her to a chair, where he exerted enough downward pressure to make her sit.

  ‘Leave the blasted dishes alone!’ he commanded, pulling out a chair and sitting so close she would have had difficulty rising had she wanted to. ‘Get to the point, Kathryn.’

  ‘Very well,’ she agreed. ‘You didn’t l
ove me before, did you?’ she challenged, and he sat back, eyes narrowing.

  ‘No,’ he confirmed shortly.

  Her heart was racing uncomfortably fast, but she persisted. ‘And you don’t love me now, do you?’

  Joel’s head went back, and there was the faintest of hesitations before he said what she had known he would. ‘No, I don’t.’

  No more than she had expected, but difficult to take all the same. She had to swallow hard to continue. ‘So nothing has changed. Life goes on. You just know something you didn’t know before. But, hey, it isn’t going to kill you,’ she jibed.

  Joel’s eyes narrowed to angry slits. ‘And just how in hell am I supposed to forget what you said?’

  Kathryn raised her eyebrows at that. ‘I should imagine it would be easy if it isn’t important to you,’ she told him evenly, and whatever he had been about to say got lost in the shuffle.

  That nerve began to tick again as he stared at her. ‘Damn it, Kathryn, I warned you not to fall for me!’ he exclaimed angrily, shooting to his feet and striding to the back door, which he opened, then stared out into the night, taking in deep breaths of the cold air.

  Kathryn watched him, scarcely knowing what to make of this remarkable display. He had never shown so much emotion before. ‘Why are you so angry? This is my problem, not yours,’ she said simply. ‘I’m not asking you to love me back.’ Even though I want you to, so very, very badly.

  He turned and looked at her through stormy blue eyes. ‘How could you do something so stupid as to fall in love with me, Kathryn? After all I said.’

  She couldn’t help but smile. ‘I couldn’t help it. I told you, people don’t choose to fall in love, they just do. That’s what happened to me.’

  Joel shook his head. ‘You’re forcing me to hurt you.’

  ‘I don’t blame you for that. It was inevitable from the moment I realised how I felt about you. But you don’t have to worry, I’m prepared to take the consequences.’