by Dee Lagasse
Calling my insurance company, I prayed to all things holy my phone didn’t die while the tow truck was being dispatched. It didn’t. But it did the second I hung up the phone. Not knowing how long we’d be stuck there, I told Alyssa to call her brother to come get her. Once she was out of my car, I could start thinking about how I’m going to make this up to Hollis, Chase, and most important of all, Cole.
And of course, Alyssa realizes after rummaging through her purse for five minutes that she must have left her phone in her own car…which is back—sitting in the row of visitor parking allotted for my apartment building—in Abbott Hills.
Over the next three excruciating hours, Alyssa kept trying to make small talk with me. Until I ended up snapping at her, telling her the sound of her voice was giving me a migraine. She didn’t speak to me again after that.
Not when, Jim, the tall, white-haired tow truck driver showed up, apologizing profusely, explaining that he’s the only one on call today, and on the way here he got called to back-to-back accidents. Someone tried to call me and let me know, but since my phone was dead, I had no idea.
She didn’t say a word when I gave her brother’s address first when Jim asked where he could drop us off, or when she slammed the passenger door, storming up the walkway. As soon as Alyssa was out of the cab of the truck, I asked Jim if I could borrow his phone.
After, I called my brother-in-law, Ryan, to meet me at the auto shop he’s worked at since I was fifteen. Not knowing Cole’s number off the top of my head, I asked him to have Kennedy call her and tell her I was stuck down there for a bit, but I was with Ryan, not Alyssa.
After making a few calls to stores and garages in the area, Ryan was able to get most of the parts we needed for my car. Par for the course, there was one hose no one around had or could find, so I handed over my credit card for overnight expedited delivery.
Kennedy offers to let me use her car to go home for the night when she hears about the craziness of the afternoon. Learning my lesson about traveling with a dead cell phone, I go back to their house to charge my phone for a bit before coming home.
The whole exhaustion of the day taking its toll on me the second I sit on the couch, closing my eyes for, what I swear, will only be a minute.
Four hours later, in the pitch black of the night, I wake up, covered by a fleece blanket. Grabbing my phone and my sister’s keys, I scribble a note letting her know I took the car. She must have known I was going to leave because on the front door was a note with the code to disarm the house alarm and a “<3 Kennedy” written on it.
When I finally make it back home, it’s nearly three o’clock in the morning. Her car is parked in its spot, Ellis’s SUV right next to it. The windows from their apartment are dark, the blinds are closed and not showing any traces of light. Not wanting to wake her up, I don’t text or call her. Even though I really want to.
Instead, I just stare at her apartment door, wondering how mad she is, before unlocking the apartment across the hall.
Assuming both he and I would be feeling the effects of celebrating his brother’s engagement party, Tucker had given our entire crew a three-day weekend, so I turn off my alarms and climb into bed. Tossing and turning until I can’t fight sleep anymore.
As soon as I wake up, I don’t bother brushing my teeth or getting dressed. Heading across the hall to beg Cole for forgiveness, I have no doubt she is going to be mad. I might have to grovel. I’ll do whatever it takes. This is on me.
But the last thing I expected was to be standing here, looking at Travis fucking Lindsey wrapped in a towel with a shit-eating grin on his face.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Travis
I probably shouldn’t have opened the door in one of Cole’s pink fluffy towels and when I saw it was Pax, I shouldn’t have smiled like the cat that caught the canary.
I should have rocked him right in the jaw and sent him on his way.
“Where’s Cole?” he asks, trying to peer around me into the apartment.
The unasked questions of why I am here, why I’m basically naked, and what happened with me and Cole last night are written all over his face. The truth is nothing happened with me and Cole last night. I got a little too into the limoncello last night and my sister took my keys. I’m still not quite sure how I ended up at her and Cole’s apartment, but I know from sleeping on the couch and terrifying Cole in the early hours of the morning with my presence, Cole had absolutely nothing to do with it.
I was just about to get up to leave when I heard Cole’s voice getting louder as she got closer.
“Kin. He fucking left with her. His nine-months-pregnant-ex-girlfriend and then never came home. He didn’t come to Hollis and Chase’s party two hours later like he said he would. His car isn’t in the parking lot. I haven’t heard a fucking word from him, but he was active on Facebook six hours ago, so obviously he’s fine.”
Kinley. She was talking to her sister.
“Okay, I’ll be right down. Fair warning, I look like a fucking mess.”
I don’t know where Kinley and Cole went, but I got up from the couch in time to see her get into Kinley’s car. Cole’s Subaru is sitting parked in the same place it was last night. I shouldn’t have used that in my favor. I know he knows about Cole’s and my past. There’s no way she didn’t tell him.
He’s never been a dick about it. Never acted like a jealous boyfriend or treated me any different than Davis, Chase, and Tucker when we’re around everyone, but the growing anger emulating from his presence makes it easy. Too easy.
“She’s still sleeping.” I shrug. “We had a late night last night. I should thank you for blowing her off because if you hadn’t...”
I don’t finish my sentence, purposely leaving it open for Pax to interpret it however he wants. Laughing in his face when I see his fingers curling into a fist.
“Do you really think that’s a good idea? Hitting an ununiformed officer? Come on, Pax. You’re better than that,” I taunt him, knowing damn well he won’t hit me now. “Listen, as much as I would love to sit here and keep talking to you about Cole, I should probably go put some clothes on. But I’ll let Cole know you stopped by.”
Shutting the door on him, it takes every ounce of willpower I have not to burst out laughing. Cole’s going to lose her damn mind when she finds out, but I don’t even care anymore. I stopped caring about anything the day she told me what little we had between us was over.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Pax
I knew she’d be angry. I knew it would take a little while for us to work past yesterday, but to fuck Travis the second my back is turned? No. There’s no coming back from this.
I’m two weeks shy of the six months I had promised my mother. A timeline I had long forgotten about months ago. I was staying. Abbott Hills was home. Cole made it my home. Our love made it my home. Our friends and my job made it my home.
Was. Past tense. Because I will be damned if I live across the hallway from her. I can’t look her in the eyes and know what she did. Staying in my apartment just long enough to get dressed and grab my phone and wallet, I lock the door behind me.
My rent is paid for next month, so there’s no immediate rush to get things packed and moved out. Once I’m settled, I’ll just hire packers and movers and have everything shipped to me. I was never going to step in Abbott Hills again.
On the way to the airport, I called my sister to make sure she had an extra key to her car. When she confirmed she did, I let her know it would be parked at the Manchester Airport and I was paying for three days of parking just in case she couldn’t get there today.
Before she could ask why, I hung up the phone, making the next call on my list as I walked into the airport. Stopping at the ticket counter, I book a one-way ticket on the next flight to South Carolina.
Turning my phone off and shoving it into the pocket of my jeans, I get on a plane forty-five minutes later. Spending the first half of the four-hour flight ordering ginger ale
and Jack Daniels so I can take shots of the whiskey from the mini bottles. Seeing the full cans of soda piling up on the edge of my tray, the flight attendant cut me off after four.
Which is probably best, for me and everyone else on this flight. Especially since my eyes are already feeling so damn heavy.
Two hours later, the shaking of the plane landing wakes me out of my whiskey-induced nap. Reaching for the plastic bag tucked into the pocket of the seat in front of me, the whiskey burns a hell of a lot more coming back up than it did going down. That’s what I get for taking shots after not eating for twenty-four hours. Thankfully, I’m the only person in my row.
Tying the bag closed, I dash for the exit as soon as the pilot comes through the speakers thanking us for flying with them today. Dumping my bag of vomit into the first trash can I see; I purchase a bottle of water from a vending machine and make my way to the exit.
Just as I’m about to walk over to the counter and get a rental car, I hear my name being shouted by a man from across the street.
“Paxton Callaghan, don’t you dare pay for a rental car. I have a perfectly good pickup truck you can use while you’re here.”
Coming at me like a bull is the older, more rugged, silver-haired version of myself. His face worn and weathered from working out in the Carolina sun for the last ten years.
“Hi Pop,” I chuckle as he pulls me into a hug. “I didn’t expect you to pick me up.”
“I know,” he says. “But something told me I should come get you. By the looks of your cold sweats and green face, I’m glad I did. You look like garbage, kiddo.”
“Gee, thanks,” I scoff, climbing into the front seat of his cherry red Chevy Silverado.
“I’m not going to pretend I don’t know this trip has everything to do with Cole,” he starts, looking over at me before putting the key in the ignition. “I won’t push you to tell me what happened, and I hate that’s why you’re here, but it’s always a good day for a dad when he gets to see his only boy.”
“Are you going soft in your old age?” I tease, laughing when he shoots me the look that I’ve been getting my whole life. The one that says “watch yourself” without saying a single word.
As we drive away from the airport, Johnny Cash’s “I Walk the Line” plays softly in the background. It doesn’t surprise me that classic country is playing in my father’s pickup truck. He may have stayed in New England after meeting my mom in college, but he’s a country boy, through and through.
Tipping my head back against the seat, I close my eyes, hoping to settle the nausea building back up in my stomach again. But when I do, all I see is Cole. Memories of her dancing along, singing off-key into an empty water bottle cause my stomach to flip.
“Dad, you need to pull over!” I say with urgency.
Moving over three lanes of traffic, he pulls over to the side of the highway, flipping his hazard lights on. Jumping out, I leave the remaining contents of my stomach and the shattered pieces of my heart on the side of the Carolina highway.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Cole
It’s been one week and two days since I saw Pax.
One week and two days since I heard the sound of his voice.
One week and two days of me having my employees cover me at work.
One week and two days of letting my very pregnant sister handle the office on her own.
It’s been one week and one day since Pax’s sister Kennedy called me, worried because he up and left without rhyme or reason. When I told her that I hadn’t talked to him since he blew me off for Alyssa, she filled me on everything that happened that night. He did come home. He was there, he just had his sister’s sedan instead of his car.
His phone had died while he was stuck on the side of the highway and the first thing he did when he used the tow truck driver’s phone to call her husband was to ask him to have her call me. She had every intention of doing so, but one of her kids started throwing up and she completely spaced sending it.
“Oh God,” she said when she realized. “This is my fault. I’m so sorry, Cole. I don’t know what happened to make him up and leave, but I’m going to fix this.”
But she couldn’t. Pax wasn’t talking to anyone. He blocked my number, every call going right to voicemail and every text going undelivered. Both his Facebook and Instagram are either gone or he’s blocked me and everyone we know. I may have shamelessly asked Kinley, Hollis, and Ellis all to check from their accounts.
The anger I felt when I thought he just blew me off for his ex-girlfriend is nothing compared to the hopelessness and the loneliness I feel in his absence. In our day-to-day lives, I didn’t think much about routine or how things were between us. We didn’t need to talk about that kind of stuff, we just knew. We just were.
We were happy. We were in love. Or so I thought when we left the field after Hollis and Chase’s engagement. The whole time we were there, I could feel his eyes on me. Thirty-something people with their eyes on Chase and Hollis, soaking up the beautiful moment that would only come once and there was Pax, staring at me with such adoration like it was my moment instead.
That’s how it always was with him though. There could be a whole room full of people and the second he stepped in, he was searching for me. Long before I saw him on Friday and Saturday nights, I could feel his presence in the room.
I had no idea how much I had grown to depend on that, how much I physically needed him near me. I can’t sleep. When I do, I have the same awful dream of him walking away from me, being just far enough away that I can’t reach him. In my nightmare I can’t talk, no matter how hard I try to scream out his name, nothing comes out.
Then I wake up and it’s a whole different nightmare. One I can’t escape from.
More than anything, I’m worried. The Paxton Callaghan I know wouldn’t just up and leave. He has too much here. Everything about me and him aside, there’s his job. A job he loves. After working under Tucker for five months, Lorenzo Capparelli was so impressed by him that they were supposed to sit down and have a meeting about Pax running his own crew.
He was so excited about getting back on the soccer field. It was all he could talk about for weeks. He and Hollis spent hours together between tryouts and finalizing the roster. He had come up with practice schedules, drills to run…the season hadn’t even started yet and he already had a binder full of notes.
Davis, Tucker, and Chase had all tried reaching out to him. Not only did he manage to completely capture my heart, he found a way into the innermost part of our circle of friends. He spent back-to-back weekends helping Davis paint and set up the nursery for the baby so that Kinley didn’t have to lift a finger. He had a standing appointment to get his haircut every four weeks by Ellis. Ellis’s grandparents expected both of us every Sunday for Capparelli family dinner. He’s become so embedded in all our lives that no one knows what to do. For him or for me.
I don’t even know what to do with myself. My nerves and stress keep getting the best of me. I can’t eat without throwing up. All I want to do is lay in bed. I’ve watched all six seasons of I Love Lucy. I’m fucking delirious at this point.
I’m so sure of it when I hear Ellis, Kinley, and Hollis’s voices in my room.
“Come on, sister,” Kinley coaxes, pulling the comforter away from me. “It’s time to get up.”
“I caaaaaaaan’t,” I whine, trying to pull my blanket back with no luck.
“Come on, babe,” Ellis encourages. “We brought you presents!”
Sitting up on the bed, I sigh. They’re not going anywhere. Not that I can blame them, if the shoe was on the other foot, I would be at the end of their bed with a basket full of bribery.
“Okay, fiiiiiine,” I concede, using every ounce of energy I can muster to pull myself upright. “What’d you bring me?”
“New pajamas and fluffy slippers from Victoria’s Secret,” Ellis starts, pulling things from the basket and placing them on the bed as she names them off. “Body wash, body
scrub, and lotion from Bath & Body Works. I grabbed you shampoo and conditioner from the salon. There’s a table full of goodies sent over from Capparelli & Co. Nonna made sure to put extra arancini in there for you. And there’s a stack of Marvel movies on the table that can only be watched in the living room.”
“I bought a dozen strawberry frosted donuts from Wholly Donuts,” Hollis adds. “And sweet cream for the cold brew Ellis made.”
“Because you’re coming to work tomorrow,” Kinley finishes. “I love you, and I get it, but I need you there. We have potential client meetings for the rest of this week, every day, and it’s kind of hard to represent Kinley Cole Entertainment with just Kinley.”
As much as I don’t want to admit it, they’re right. There’s a good possibility Pax isn’t coming back. I don’t accept it. I’m not okay with it, but lying in this bed, just being a miserable sad sack isn’t going to change a damn thing. I might as well be a productive but miserable sad sack.
Kicking the rest of the blankets off, I stand up, immediately wincing from a shooting pain in my stomach and lower back. Assuming it’s from lying in bed all day and lack of anything substantial in my stomach, I brush it off.
Ellis hands me the basket which is once again full of their “get your ass out of bed” bribery gifts.
“Bring your phone with you,” Hollis says. “I just texted you a playlist. Listen to that while you wash the ‘five days in bed’ stench off you.”
Since we were kids, Hollis and I have had a special connection because of our love for music. I, unfortunately, was not blessed with a gorgeous “send chills up your spine” voice like she was though. My singing voice sounds like a gang of feral cats fighting, but I can listen to about five seconds of any song and tell you who sang it and most, if not all, the lyrics. From Snoop Dogg to Merle Haggard to Metallica and everything in between, if it has a beat, I dig it. Even if it’s not something I love, there’s always something I can pull from a song that I can appreciate.