Summer on Main Street

by Crista McHugh

  “If I can get everything lined up, yeah.”

  “So you have that kind of money.”

  Fitz bristled. “I’m all right.”

  “Because you could get investors, you know, people from the island who want to see the motel restored, who want to see a touch of the old days. I mean, you’re going to keep it retro, right?”

  “That’s my plan.”

  “I’m thinking people who love this island would love to have a piece of it.”

  “My point in buying the place was so I didn’t have to listen to other people. If I have investors, I have to listen to their opinions.”

  Blue lifted a shoulder. “I’m just saying. With the right investors, it can be just the place you imagine it to be.”

  Fitz grunted and tore into his pizza.

  Once Brandon was done, he mumbled an excuse, carried his paper plate to the trash, washed his hands and disappeared.

  “He needs to get out of the house,” Fitz said.

  “He was fine until you two showed up.”

  “Then he needs his ass kicked. You were too soft on him,” Fitz chided. “Letting him do what he wants, not giving him enough responsibility. He’s almost old enough to drive, he needs to start working, contributing.”

  Blue saw Brioney’s shoulders square defensively. “She’s done a good job raising him.”

  “She’s spoiled him because she doesn’t want him to have to struggle the way she did. And I get that.” His tone gentled as he reached across to his sister. “But he needs to be a man. This weekend, he’s going to the motel.” He said the last loud enough for his words to carry to the living room.

  Blue could tell by the set of Brioney’s mouth that his words didn’t appease her. She looked across the table at her daughter. “Are you done? It’s time for your bath.”

  “Mom.” She drew out the protest, but Brioney was unswayed. She was not too soft. Just soft enough.

  “I should be going,” Blue said, rising.

  “No, you’re going to watch a movie with us,” Joy protested.

  “I think I’ve caused enough trouble tonight,” he said with a rueful glance at Brioney. “Besides, it’s Brandon’s night with the TV. I’ll come back another night, when it’s your night.”

  “Go take your bath,” Brioney told her daughter. “I’ll walk Blue out.”

  He resisted the urge to take her hand until they were alone on the porch, then he took it and rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand.

  “Sorry about the drama,” she murmured, leaning against the post of the porch and looking at their joined hands.

  “Joys of having siblings, I suppose.”

  “Though they were acting more like children.”

  “They’re looking out for you.”

  She shook her head. “Fitz is right. I was too soft on Brandon. But he never really seemed to need discipline, so I didn’t have to get after him. Tonight was the worst I’ve seen him behave, naturally.”

  “Don’t think twice about it.” He touched her cheek and leaned forward to kiss her softly. “Come by tomorrow?”

  She smiled sadly, but nodded, and he left with a little skip in his stride.

  *****

  “Mom, are you sleeping with Blue?”

  If Joy had punched her full in the face, Brioney wouldn’t have been more surprised. She froze, reaching for the bedside lamp to turn it off. She changed her mind and turned to look at her daughter.

  “What did you say?” She’d heard her clearly, but needed a moment to figure out how to answer.

  “Are you sleeping with Blue? Because you told me that you’re only supposed to sleep with someone you love.”

  Lord, she didn’t want to lie to her daughter. It wouldn’t be a good precedent. And if her relationship with Blue continued down this path, well, she didn’t want Joy to discover she’d been lied to. They’d always had trust, and just because Brioney was scared to talk to her baby about her own sex life…she didn’t want to break that trust.

  “Sometimes it’s more complicated than that.”

  “You mean because he’s handsome.”

  “Yes, because he’s handsome. And he’s…he’s good to me.”

  “But you don’t love him. You just want to sleep with him.”

  “I don’t know if I love him or not. It’s tricky, see, because he was Jessamy’s boyfriend in high school and college.”

  “And you don’t think she’ll like it that you’re sleeping with him.”

  Brioney rubbed a hand over her face, unnerved by her daughter’s ease with saying those words. “Can we not keep saying that? I don’t know if she’ll like it. But I don’t want to cause a problem with her before I see if I can love him.”

  “But Mom, you always say that love and sex are different.”

  “They are. But it’s not always easy to keep them apart. I may be making a big mistake here, one I wish you really didn’t know about. I can pay the price, but I don’t want you to have to. It’s just hard because he’s also our friend.”

  Joy didn’t say anything for a while, and Brioney hoped against hope that her daughter had fallen asleep mid-conversation and wouldn’t remember any of this. She turned her head and chanced a look. Joy was staring at her hands as she pleated the comforter.

  “What is it, baby girl?”

  “I thought, since you were sleeping with my daddy, that you loved him, and that someday you would get back together.”

  Brioney’s stomach dropped to her knees. Joy had known about her and Cameron? Worse, she’d used Brioney’s own lesson—only sleep with someone you love—as a sign that the two of them would get back together? The pizza churned in her stomach. She wrapped her arm around her daughter and pulled her tight.

  “I didn’t know you wanted us to get back together.”

  “I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want you to get back together for me. I wanted you to be in love and want to be together and for us to be a family.”

  “And you thought, what? Your dad would take us all back to Houston, away from here?”

  “I thought maybe he was waiting until Brandon went to college so he would have a place to stay. And I thought maybe when Fitz came back, maybe we’d go then.”

  “Sweetheart, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry that your hopes were up, but your dad and I can’t be together.”

  “Why not?”

  God, why this tricky conversation? Joy didn’t know how Cameron had turned his back on them. Brioney hoped she never knew.

  “Because your dad wants different things from a wife than what I can be.”

  “Like what?”

  “Well, your dad lives in a different kind of world, the kind with society parties and things like that. He needs someone who fits into those kinds of situations, and I don’t.”

  “You could learn.”

  Brioney’s heart broke at the yearning in her daughter’s voice. “This is going to sound harsh, but why should I change who I am for him? That isn’t something that I would enjoy. I would feel uncomfortable all of the time.”

  “But you said I should try different things.”

  Was every lesson she taught going to come back and bite her in the ass tonight? “Right, and you should, and maybe if I loved your dad, I would try. But I don’t want to change who I am, deep down, for him.”

  “Did you love him when I was born?”

  “When I got pregnant, yes I did. With all my heart.”

  “Why didn’t you get married?”

  “He needed to go away to school so he could get a good job. We knew it would be too hard, and I would be raising you anyway, so we decided to wait.”

  It was partly true. At least it was the story she’d told herself when she’d been alone and scared and pregnant.

  “But when he graduated?”

  “We didn’t love each other anymore. But he loved you more than I could have ever dreamed, and we decided we were better apart, but parents to you.” She tightened her arm around her dau
ghter. “I haven’t been in love in a long time, not since I was pregnant with you. I want to see if I can. Do you understand that?”

  “You could love my dad.”

  “I’ve tried that before. I don’t know if I can again. Blue is good to us. Will you trust me to do what is right for us?”

  Joy made a sound that was neither affirmative nor negative.

  “Just remember, you’re always first in my life. Always and forever.”

  Chapter Eight

  Brioney loved late-morning lazing in Blue’s bed. She loved feeling his arms around her, the warmth of his body especially after they went in the water. She took a deep breath, debating whether or not to share what was on her mind. But the desire to share was stronger than the desire to keep it private, which was different for her.

  “Joy wants me and Cameron to get back together.”

  “What?” His whole body went tight beneath her.

  “I had no idea, until last night, when she followed up on Brandon’s comment by asking if I was sleeping with you.”

  “Damn. Fourth-graders talk about that?”

  “Well, we’ve watched some television shows together, you know, so we’ve had the talk about, well, you know, you only sleep with someone you love, so she asked me if I loved you.”

  He tensed further. Was he waiting for her to declare her love?

  “She was upset, and confessed she wanted me and Cameron to reunite.”

  “Do you think that’s something that could happen?”

  She wondered if he was thinking about the night he’d come over when Cameron was there. “Cameron and I had a…complicated relationship. We would hook up from time to time, but there was never a chance we’d get back together. I remember too well how I felt when he left.” She twisted to look up at him. “It’s made me a little cautious. Maybe a little too cautious.”

  He relaxed a little, and rubbed his hand up and down her back, but she got the idea he didn’t know what she was saying.

  “Now that Joy knows, there’s really no need for us to move cautiously. I mean, Fitz and Brandon know, everyone in town knows. Jessamy will be home next week for Thanksgiving and I’ll talk to her then.” If she wanted to show Joy that you didn’t just sleep with anyone, that you needed to be in a relationship, well, then, she needed to commit to a relationship, not just sneaking around.

  He’d tensed again. “Should we do it together?”

  Brioney held her breath a moment, trying to decide. “No, I think I want to do it alone, kind of ease her into the idea.” And she didn’t want her sister saying something that could hurt Blue.

  “So is it time for you and Joy to come out to dinner with my parents?”

  She smiled at him. “I think we would like that.”

  He pulled her into a kiss that had her melting into the mattress, but not just with desire. There was something in that kiss, something like…happiness. She could almost taste it on his lips.

  “Are you coming by the motel?” she asked later, pulling on her jeans as she faced the bed.

  He groaned. “I guess. I don’t have anything else to do.”

  “You don’t have to. But we got a lot more done with you there.” She pulled her sweater over her T-shirt. “Do you really think he can get investors to help him pay for those renovations? I think it’s going to cost a lot more than he expects. I’d heard always estimate double of what you’re quoted, because they always find something else that needs to be done. And even if his friends are coming, they surely don’t have all the skills needed to fix it up.”

  “I think it would be a snap to find investors, if that’s really what he wants to do.”

  She made a face. “He has a very specific vision for this place, and I know it will be successful if we can make it happen, but I’m afraid we can’t without money, and I’m not sure how much control he’s willing to surrender.”

  Blue rolled out of bed and reached for his sweats. “He trusts your opinion, you know. If you think it’s a good idea, he may go for it.”

  “I’d just hate to ask him to compromise on his dream, when he’s done so much for us.”

  He wrapped his arms around her, and she pressed her cheek into his bare chest. “What is it with you Dawsons? It doesn’t have to be all or nothing, you know. But if you get him to agree, let me know. I can get in touch with the right people.”

  *****

  Brioney hadn’t been anxious about facing Cameron in years. Okay, maybe sometimes she’d been antsy, wondering if this was going to be a hook-up weekend or not, but this anxiety, well, she didn’t like it. Joy was still in a mood from their discussion about Blue. Brioney hated disappointing her daughter, but even if Cameron wanted to get back together, she couldn’t do it, not even for Joy.

  He was on time, but Joy was still in their room. Brioney was grateful for the chance to talk to him alone.

  “What are your plans this weekend?” she asked, as she always did.

  “Early Thanksgiving with my folks, so she’ll get a lot of family time.”

  Joy had cousins on that side of the family, since Cameron was the youngest son. She loved to get to play with her cousins, though their lives were so different.

  “That’s good of your mom to do it early so you and Joy can celebrate together.”

  “She loves Joy, you know that.”

  She hadn’t loved the idea of Joy, and Brioney had a hard time forgetting that.

  He drew in a breath. “We’re talking about maybe Christmas.”

  Brioney’s throat shrunk and she looked into his half-apologetic eyes. She’d seen that look before. “Maybe Christmas?” she echoed, even though she knew what he was going to ask.

  “I’ve never had her for Christmas, Brioney. What do you think about letting me have her this year?” Before she could say anything, he continued. “She would have a blast at Mom’s, with all her cousins, and you know Mom would make a big deal out of it.”

  Just the thought of the holiday without her daughter made Brioney feel like her heart was being ripped from her chest. Christmas was their special time. They decorated the house, baked cookies, watched Christmas shows in matching pajamas. She didn’t know what Christmas would be without her daughter there. Her mother had never been a big Christmas person, so it wasn’t like they had long-standing traditions, so the ones they’d created were all the more special, and all the more tied to Joy.

  When she didn’t speak—because she couldn’t find words—Cameron stepped closer and touched her arm. “You’ve had her eight Christmases. Let me have her for one. You can celebrate before, or after. It doesn’t matter the day.”

  “Then you can celebrate before or after,” she said, more sharply than she intended. Her instinct was to accuse him of leaving them, that he could have been with them for all those holidays, but no. Even if she hadn’t just had that conversation with Blue, she knew they never would have made it as a couple, and if they’d tried, they probably wouldn’t be able to have a civil conversation now.

  “Can you give me some time to think about it?” She knew it was only fair that he have Joy for the holiday, but she couldn’t wrap her head around it. And she needed to talk it over with Fitz.

  She knew what Blue would say. He would say what Cameron had said. They could celebrate before or after, the day didn’t matter. Only right now, in her head, it did.

  “Can you not talk to Joy about it?”

  “Bri, I need to talk to her about it. Mom’s going to want to talk about it, and make plans.”

  And Joy would get all excited, and if Brioney said no, she’d be the bad guy.

  “Can we just see how Thanksgiving goes?”

  “It will go the way it always goes. Please, Brioney. I don’t ask for much.”

  He didn’t, that was true. But this felt like he was asking for the world. She was about to say something else when Joy walked out of her room.

  “You can have the room to yourself tonight,” Joy said, stretching up to kiss her cheek.

/>   Cameron raised his eyebrows.

  “Joy and I have been sharing since Fitz has been home.” Panicked that he might decide Christmas wasn’t enough and he wanted Joy full-time, she added, “Temporary, until we can add onto the house.”

  They hadn’t even discussed adding on, and the look Joy gave her was perplexed. She bent and kissed her daughter. “Y’all have a good weekend, a good celebration. Don’t get tired of turkey.” She kept her tone chipper, though her heart was breaking. Cameron was right. Joy would love spending Christmas in his parents’ big house, with all her cousins, all the noise and excitement, versus just their small family.

  She watched Joy take her father’s hand as she walked out to his car, then she dropped to the floor and sobbed.

  *****

  Brioney was quiet as she cleaned rooms side by side with Mercedes. Good thing Mercedes was going on and on, and didn’t seem to notice. She didn’t want to talk to anyone yet about it, didn’t want to hear that she was wrong, Cameron was right. Her emotions were just too raw.

  “So what are you doing this weekend, since Joy is with Cam?” Mercedes finally asked, tired, apparently, of talking about her inability to charm the plumber into putting in a new water heater for nothing.

  “Same thing I always do.”

  Mercedes rolled her eyes. “You have Blue Ramsey on the hook and you’re not going to do anything about it?”

  “What should I be doing about it?”

  “I don’t know. Go spend the night. Go over to Rockport and have a romantic evening.”

  Brioney shook her head. “Not exactly in a romantic mood.”

  “I thought y’all just decided to date for real, to see if it will work. What did he do? I’ll kick his ass.”

  Mercedes would, too.

  “He didn’t do anything.”

  “Shit, was it Cameron? Are you kidding me? Did seeing Cameron make you change your mind about Blue? If that’s the case, we’re heading to a shrink, because Cameron’s done you wrong too many times.”

  “I don’t have any feelings for Cameron anymore,” Brioney assured her.