When he didn’t immediately concur, Jaycie stood up and leaned across the desk, scowling. “I’m going to try this once more. I know you like the back of my hand and while I think you’re the sweetest guy on the face of this earth, I have a feeling that you’re not exactly Casanova. So here’s the way I see it. If I had some guy who was crazy in love over me. I’d want…no, I’d expect him to come chasing after me. At least once. What if she’s waiting out there for you to come after her and you don’t. Then what? She’ll give up on you.”
“And if she’s not waiting for me? Then what?”
Jaycie shrugged and lowered herself back in the chair, her booted feet back up on the desk. “Then you’ll look like an idiot, but at least you’ll know and you’ll be able to move on with your life.”
****
Ben kept his sister’s advice foremost in his thoughts for the better part of a week. It had merit and he damn well knew it. The only thing holding him back was the idea that Hayden just might reject him once he got out there. But wouldn’t it be better to know that right now, rather than wait and wait? Nearly two months had already passed since her departure and the house felt unbelievably empty. No longer a home, but just a place without warmth. Maybe someday it would be restored but for now he might as well have been living in a vacant hotel. Even Jaycie had left, headed back to the university. There would be another break in between clinics. Though there were still plenty of work on the ranch, life was quieting down for the fall. Beyond prepping for the winter, it wasn’t as hectic as in the warmer weather.
Usually Ben loved this time of the year. Beyond the hard work and the incoming winter weather that could be harsh and unforgiving, there was a sense of peace in the solitude, a vast beauty when the snow covered the prairie in a thick brilliantly white mantle. He looked forward to it nearly as much as spring and autumn.
It would be so much better if Hayden were there to share it with him.
Though the wind blew like daggers, Ben headed down for the barn, pulling on a pair of heavy leather gloves as he went. There was a tint of frost in the air and the sky was a monotonous slate color, unrelieved by any other color or texture. It wouldn’t be snowing, but it brought winter that much closer. The far side of the barn relieved some of the wind, but not much. Still, he kept his course, grabbed a lead rope that hung off the gate and ducked through into the corral where Ricochet stood, muzzle-deep at the hay trough.
With no nonsense, Ben led the horse into the barn and saddled the big animal up. A ride on the prairie would clear his mind. Or freeze it. At this point he didn’t care which.
He headed out in the direction of Primrose, a ride he knew like the back of his hand. As he approached the pale yellow house, it took him a moment to recognize one of the cars that sat out front, but when he did, he put Ricochet into a lope to cover the remaining distance.
Two men stood out in front of the house, each holding an end of a poster sized paper. The man in jeans and red plaid jacket was pointing to the side of the house where Lu had once tended a beautiful rose garden.
“What’s going on?” Ben asked, easing back on the thin leather reins that brought the horse to a halt.
Both men turned to look. Jesse looked neat as always, an expensive black overcoat protecting him from the elements. But he had a smile for Ben.
“Well, you might not believe it, but I’m looking after my daughter’s interests here. She hired me a few weeks back.”
Ben’s chuckle was more because from the shock and less humor in the situation. “Hired for what?”
“Apparently she wants to reopen the place as an inn. The idea has some merit, but I’m astounded that she should want me to handle arrangements for her. This is Jim Prender. He’s going to be handling the renovations.”
Ben nodded to the stranger, dismounted and wrapped Ricochet’s reins around the old-fashioned hitching post next to the wide front porch. He stood by his godfather’s side, looking up at the old Victorian.
“Is she planning on coming back to run it?” He struggled to sound casual, but Jesse slanted him a long look.
“No, didn’t say a word about it. But that doesn’t mean anything. We’re not on solid footing yet.”
“An inn, huh?”
“Something a little homier than the motels on the main road, I guess. Might be beneficial to you as well.”
Jim Prender rolled up the designs. “I’ll get back to you with the estimates, Mr. Ball.” He stuck out his hand and Jesse took it in a firm shake.
“I appreciate it.”
The other man headed back for his truck, leaving Ben and Jesse alone.
Ben cleared his throat and tucked his chin into his jacket against a burst of icy wind. “Did she say anything about coming back?”
Jesse shook his head. “Ben, you’re not too subtle, are you? No, she didn’t say anything. But again, it’s not something she’s going to confide in me. She just about business with me.”
“I’m going to go out there.” Now that it was out he was positive it was the right decision. Just like Jaycie had said, at least he could find out for sure. If she didn’t want to be with him then he could work on putting the whole thing behind him. He couldn’t go on like this.
“Probably a good idea,” Jesse concurred lightly. “And if you do I’ve got a big favor to ask.”
Chapter Ten
The tinkling sound of bells reached Hayden in her studio at the back of the house. She grimaced and looked toward the door, hoping Wendy would come to the rescue and attend to the front desk. But she remembered that Wendy had gone into town just twenty minutes ago to pick up cleaning supplies and Lena May LaPointe’s clam chowder.
“I’ll be right out,” she called. Gently she laid down her brush, then grabbed a paint splattered rag and rubbed away the slate blue tint that streaked the back of her hand. Matching paint, mingled with sage green and white, decorated her navy blue sweatshirt. It looked like spin art gone bad. Not the best way to give a professional appearance, but she had no time to change. Hayden smoothed back a heavy lock of curling brown hair and left her sanctuary for the front reception desk.
Late October brought very few guests to the Widow’s Walk Inn, and there was no one scheduled to check in today. It was just enough off the beaten path so it wouldn’t attract the odd traveler who was just passing through. It could’ve been a supplier, but they were very good about making appointments, especially this time of year.
“May I help you?” Hayden pasted on a smile but it didn’t stick. A man, who’d been examining brochures in the rack next to the door, gathered himself and turned slowly to face Hayden. She knew it was Ben, just by the broadness of his shoulders and his height. Instead of his usual bone colored Stetson, he wore a faded blue baseball cap. Under the shadow of the bill, she could see the ice blue shade of his eyes, gazing at her with a mix of longing and uncertainty. His lips formed a tight smile.
“Ben,” Hayden gasped, though more words caught in her throat, which was all of a sudden very dry. “What are you doing here?”
Ben approached the desk, not breaking his eye contact with her. His smile twisted up on one side. He reminded Hayden of a shy boy, but the emotion simmering in his eyes were far from boyish.
“I’m looking for a room,” he replied. “You’re not booked up, are you?”
“Um, no, we have plenty of space. But why are you here? Is everything okay at home?”
His dark brows rose above the cover of the hat and she realized that she’d said “home” as if it were her home as well. He caught it as well and evidently came to the same conclusion.
“Everything is fine at home,” he replied, stressing the word. “I came to see you. And to bring you something.”
“Bring me what?” Her whole brain whirled and thoughts and questions dashed and dove like a stormy sea.
Ben laughed, and Hayden realized then how much she missed him, seeing his face, hearing the rich timbre of his voice and his full laugh.
“Typical w
oman.” He sighed with mock exasperation. “Always wants the goodies first.”
Hayden felt ashamed, although she knew he was only teasing. “I’m sorry,” she muttered. “That sounded rude.”
“Not at all,” Ben replied. “But you can make it up to me by coming over here and giving me a proper welcome, if you’ve forgiven me for my doubts.”
Hayden hesitated. They’d put his momentary lack of trust behind them long ago. The desire to go around the desk and throw herself at him was so strong that it was like a physical force pushing her from behind as it pulled her from the front. A hard little voice inside her head though, tried to tell her that if she gave into Ben’s simple and reasonable request that she would be lost to him forever. After all, it had been heartbreaking to leave him in the first place. Why put herself through that again?
She couldn’t hold her ground though. Desire won out and though she didn’t exactly fly around the desk or throw herself at him, she met him eagerly. The extent of her need for him overtook her much more quickly than she was comfortable with.
Ben’s arms took her in and held her to his chest. The beat of his heart against hers felt as right and as welcome as the rhythm of the waves on the shore, just as steady and strong. The palms of his hand grazed down her back to her waist and up again into her hair, tangling and lingering in the long strands.
“I missed you,” he murmured against her cheek.
The faint scent of his aftershave and the scratch of his razor stubble just made her want to get closer to him. How could she have forgotten how it felt just to be near him? And when he left, how was she going to give that up yet again?
No! She told herself that she wasn’t even going to think about goodbyes, not yet. Not before she knew exactly what had brought him to Maine.
Hayden turned her face to him and snaked her hand up to the nape of his neck, pulling him down so she could claim his lips in a brazen kiss. It was a moment that she’d make the best of, and Ben pulled her even closer, pulled her up so her feet barely met the floor, and returned the touch of lips with the fervor of a starving man.
Before things got too carried away, before she heeded the urges of the rest of her body to take him back to her rooms, Hayden pulled back. Ben reluctantly relinquished his hold on her although he picked up her hand and held it tight.
“That was better, sweetheart,” he said with a dimple producing smile. “Much better.”
Warmth crept into Hayden’s cheek, but she decided that she was way past the need to feel shy around him. They were lovers, after all. Maybe they’d only spent one night in each other’s arms, but it was enough to brand him in her heart forever.
“Are you really looking for a room?” she asked, trying to push past the awkwardness that was shoving her innards to and fro. She stepped away from him and went back to the other side of the desk, though it was a meager barrier against the lure of his presence.
Ben’s smile didn’t fade. He pulled off his hat and laid it on the desk and leaned next to it. “If you’ve got the room,” he replied amiably.
Hayden wanted to suggest that her room was free, but she turned to the computer monitor and typed away at the keyboard for several seconds though she knew full well that she had plenty of openings.
“You’re in luck,” she announced and pulled a key from one of the small mailbox cubbys on the wall next to the computer. Of course all the cubbys held keys.
“Good deal.” Ben pulled his wallet out, but Hayden put up a hand.
“Don’t you dare,” she ordered. “I’m so far in debt to you already, Ben. You’re not going to pay me a dime.”
Ben shrugged and slid his wallet back into his back pocket.
“In that case can you recommend a good restaurant? Something with lobster and steamers?”
Hayden chuckled. “You can’t walk ten feet in this town without passing a restaurant that sells lobster. I tell you what, I’ll introduce you to the best lobster in town. It’s just too bad that the weather isn’t warmer so we can eat outside. There’s nothing like a lobster served out on the wharf.”
“Well, then I’ll just have to come back next summer to experience it.”
Hayden’s smile faltered. She didn’t want to think that she’d have to wait nearly nine months or so to see him again. “I’ll show you to your room.
Hayden waited while Ben retrieved his luggage, which consisted of just one plain black suitcase, from his rental car, and walked him down the hall to his room. She remained in the hallway while he went inside, not trusting herself to follow him in. It was too dangerous, being alone with him in a room with a large bed.
Ben looked at her, his dark brows raised in question, when he saw that she wasn’t budging from the hall. He knew why, the knowledge flickered in the depths of his eyes and she could’ve sworn she saw a devious tilt to the corner of his mouth.
“I hope this will be okay. Not quite as fancy as your place, but it’s cozy and you have a nice view of the ocean,” she said nonchalantly, as if she were talking to any one of the hundreds of guests that passed through the Widow’s Walk every year.
“It’s fine, sweetheart,” Ben assured her, the smile not leaving his face. “You going to be out in the lobby in a few minutes? It shouldn’t take me more than five minutes to change.”
Of course he wouldn’t just sit in his room, Hayden realized. He’d come to see her and she’d have to accommodate him. She wanted to, but every second with him would reforge the love that she’d shoved to the back of her heart.
She looked down at her sweatshirt and grimaced. “Well, even as casual as this restaurant is, I should really change my clothes as well.”
Ben’s eyes traveled down her body with languid ease that brought the heat of a blush back to her cheeks. Not much could be seen of her body underneath the cover of the old sweatshirt that had been a hand-me-down from Carl, but she felt as if she might as well have been wearing nothing more than skimpy underwear.
“If it’s convenient, then, I’ll meet you in the front lobby in twenty minutes,” he compromised.
Hayden nodded. “I’ll be there. And Ben? If you brought it with you, wear your cowboy hat.”
****
“Congratulations on being the talk of the place,” Hayden leaned over the table toward him and said in a low voice. Ben had his back to the hostess station and he couldn’t see the way Lena May was talking to one of the waitresses, her mouth flying a mile a minute. She may have thought that she was being discreet, but Hayden could pick up various words and the rise and fall of the woman’s voice.
“Don’t you bring all your dates here?” Ben teased with a chuckle.
Hayden twisted her mouth in a frown. “I don’t date. And if I did, they wouldn’t earn the gossip that an outsider would, a very attractive outsider who wears a cowboy hat. We locals are a very protective lot.”
“Well, I promise they don’t have to worry about me hurting you,” Ben replied in all seriousness.
Hayden studied him closely, appraising him in her own surroundings. He made a hell of a cowboy and would look more at home on the back of a horse than on a boat in the Atlantic, but that realization didn’t affect her one bit. Picturing him at sea only reminded her of her nightmare, which at times was so painfully real that it was a knife through her heart. The dream had repeated several times since she’d been home, only amplified by a thousand. Those times, though, there was no one to comfort her afterwards.
“Why are you here, Ben? Really?” She reached across the table and took his hands into hers. He tightened his grip on her fingers.
“I want to know if there’s anything to hope for, Hayden. I want you to come home, but if you don’t want to, then I need to know now, while I’m here. I can’t sit back on that ranch, wondering what’s going on.”
Lena May bustled over to their table, a wide smile on her face. Hayden pulled back and let the woman set down two enormous platters, each with a bright red lobster and piles of steamed clams. “Theah you two,
best lobstas in the place. I can’t believe that you’ve neva had one before.”
She gave a good-natured slap on Ben’s shoulder and a broad wink at Hayden.
“Thanks so much, Lena May. They look terrific.”
Lena May nodded her head enthusiastically. “You two enjoy now. Just let me know if theah’s anything else you want.” She wobbled away, making a slow retreat back to the hostess station to greet another couple who’d arrived.
For a long awkward moment neither Ben nor Hayden touched their plate. The question still hung over the table like heavy cigarette smoke.
“I can’t answer that right now, Ben,” Hayden said lowly. “I don’t know what I’m going to do yet and I don’t want to take anything for granted. I can’t keep that house, the inn, just for myself. It wouldn’t be right. I’m sure you know what my plans are for it. I’ve lived in an inn for most of my life, so if I go back there it wouldn’t be a stretch, would it, even though I’d be alone over there? But I still have to think of my life here, what my stepfather needs before I can decide on where I want to go”
She could tell, by the look in his eyes that Ben wanted to reply that she’d had plenty of time already, but he kept his mouth closed in a tight line that made her want to cry. She didn’t want him to retreat from her. She reached out to him again.
“Give me a little more time. Please Ben.”
“You know that The Painted Horse could be your home too.”
There, he said it. It was out in the open. Just as much as she was afraid of him saying it, she also felt her heart rush with unbridled joy.
“I’m not saying no to you.”
“But you’re not saying yes.”
Hayden sighed and closed her eyes against the expression of disappointment on Ben’s face. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. Not by a long shot.
Summer on Main Street Page 117