Summer on Main Street

by Crista McHugh

  Hayden let out a bitter laugh. How his wife would have loved that. How could her mother ever have gone home? The check surprised her, though. So he’d tried after all.

  Letter after letter came with check after check and followed her mother from one address to another. How did he know? Perhaps she let her parents know of her whereabouts and they passed the information along to Jesse. Or he used his ties to track her. However his methods, he’d been sending checks to help support her for eighteen years. And for that long her mother had been sending them right back, unopened. Sure was a persistent man, she had to give him credit for that at least. Over the years the letters had lost their passion, though. Some of them pleaded for photos of Hayden, some just wished them well.

  For once, sadness for her father settled hard in her heart with an unsteady, cold pull. He’d attempted to make up for his sins. She wished she had a chance to thank him for that. Someday soon she’d do just that and if they could possibly find a way to build some kind of relationship, she was fine with that. Her gaze drifted out the window to the lighthouse almost entirely hidden behind the thick blanket of fog. She could make out its white surface, rising out of the point, and the slow turn of the light at its crown. She searched for its comfort, but it didn’t find her this time.

  Hayden placed the shoebox inside the steamer trunk, along with her mother’s memory box. She wandered back to the canvas she’d deserted the day before when Ben had come, and stared at the muted blues and greens of the seascape she’d been creating. The rocky coast of Maine, Clarksport Head Light in the distance. She knew every angle, so even from a distance she could capture it. But instead of seeing what she’d been painting, she pictured the landscape around The Painted Ranch and Primrose Inn. She wished she’d kept a painting of the prairie for herself.

  Hayden picked out a new paintbrush and mixed a dollop of slate-blue paint. Thinking of South Dakota wasn’t going to get her anywhere, because every time she thought of it she thought of Ben. That made her want to drop everything and run after him, regardless of the reasons that kept her in Maine.

  And what reasons are those?

  It was a question she’d avoided for over a month now because she really had no good answers.

  ****

  “You know, you can’t keep moping around like this. Your face is scarin’ away customers.”

  “Hmm?” Hayden looked up from the computer monitor and raised her brows at her stepfather, wondering what he meant. The lobby of the inn was deserted and likely to remain so for the next month or so until the Christmas crowd came.

  Carl leaned against his desk on his thick, tan arms. Sun-bleached hair fell against his forehead in a startling contrast with his weathered skin. Hayden found her ability to smile, but it was half-hearted at best.

  “You know, I’m still trying to figure out why you’re still here.”

  Her smile faltered. “Where am I supposed to be? Did I miss an appointment?”

  “No kiddo. That’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about South Dakota. You don’t even bother to hide it anymore.” Carl nodded toward the computer monitor, which displayed The Painted Horse Ranch homepage.

  The blush seemed to begin in her toenails and shoot straight to the tip of each strand of hair. Embarrassment centered in each cheek, Hayden didn’t even try to cover her it. She hadn’t realized that she’d been on Ben’s website as much as apparently she was. She certainly hadn’t realized that Carl even had a clue about her longing for Ben.

  “This is my home,” she replied. Four months ago she would have believed that, but her tone lacked conviction.

  “When were you last in touch with that young man?”

  “Not long after he left here.”

  It had been a stilted conversation, Ben wanted to let her know he arrived home safely and his ranch hand was fine. He’d started rebuilding the bunkhouse and out building that had been lost. In the conversation she let him know she was okay, making sure he knew her feelings and her need to deal with the loss of her mother and grandmother that had hit her like a freight train back in Burton. Ben, to his credit, didn’t push her, didn’t give her an ultimatum, but made it known that he still loved her. He hadn’t asked her to come back, though. She hoped that the invitation was unspoken.

  How long would such an invitation last? A year? Two? Six months?

  “What about the house? How’s everything going with that?”

  Hayden shrugged. “About as smoothly as I could expect. We’re not going to really get started on the renovations until spring, but we’re getting the plans put together. Jesse has been doing a great job. He’s recruited his daughter for heading the project.”

  “Seems like things are working out very well, with this project and with Jesse. I’m glad to hear that.”

  Hayden looked at her hands, but smiled. Leave it to Carl to lift her spirits and boost her ego.

  “I don’t know how it’ll turn out. It seems a bit overwhelming when I really sit down and think about it.”

  “Ah, stop it. You could run this place with one hand behind your back. Nothing in the world could stop you for doing something you care about. This is a wonderful idea and I think you should run with it. Although I can’t imagine how you could do all that from here. You’d be better off closer to it.”

  “You want me to leave?”

  “I just want you to be happy, honey. I haven’t seen you that way since you came back, and we both know why. You know, things change. I know how much you love it here, and I love having you here, but you need to decide where your heart really wants you to be.”

  “What about you? How would you manage without me?”

  “I’ll manage,” he replied cheerfully. “I did fine while you were gone. Wendy is an ace here and I bet I could have her here in half an hour if need be.”

  Hayden laughed, pulled her head back and kissed Carl’s rough cheek. “My, you are in a hurry.”

  “Not at all,” he denied. “Just trying to prove a point as to how eager she is to work here. You take your time, get ready and go back and figure things out. If it doesn’t work out after all, you know you’ll always have a home here. But you owe yourself and that man of yours a chance.”

  Hayden let her gaze fall back on the computer monitor and the picture of the dearly familiar lodge house. Somewhere within those walls Ben lived his life.

  “That’s what I’m afraid of. If it doesn’t work out. I’ve lost Mom and my grandmother in a just a few short months. I couldn’t stand another loss. And the thought of leaving my home here for good terrifies me.”

  “Nothing is ever so scary when you’re with the person you love. You’ll find that leaving here is easy if you have someone to be with. He’ll be your home. And that’s so much more important than some old house that holds your stuff. Love, that’s what you need to get by.”

  Hayden gazed down at her stepfather. “What about you? Will you really be okay without me? Will you find someone to have a home with? I think that Mom would want that.”

  Carl didn’t answer right away. “What your mom and I had together was pretty special. Don’t know if I could ever come close to it. But you never know, do you?”

  “No, I guess you never do.” But it was a chance she had to take. It was perfectly clear what she needed to do and she only wished she’d made the move long ago, when Ben had asked her to come with him to The Painted Horse. Going without an invitation was somehow more difficult.

  He didn’t mention it last time they spoke, but would he still be waiting for her?

  ****

  Before going to The Painted Horse, Hayden had one thing to do, something that was as pressing on her heart as seeing Ben. She easily found the big brick house on the outskirts of Burton, an impressive old home steeped with elegance. It was a little intimidating to think that her father lived there, but regardless of his station in life, she needed to set things straight with him. They’d been fine over the past few months, but both had kept things on a bus
iness-only level. Not one word had been spoken about her mother or the way they’d left things off. Since then it had been a cool relationship but she certainly couldn’t find fault in the way that he handled it and handled her. Evidently he was leaving the ball in her court as far as their personal relationship.

  It was time now, she decided, to put things to rest. If she was to go forward with her life here, with Ben, then she owed it to everyone to make things better with Jesse.

  Hayden sucked in her breath, and jabbed her finger at the doorbell button. She could hear the three-toned ring inside the house. She fidgeted with her purse, but was surprised at how much calmer she felt than their first meeting. Of course now she had more of an idea of his side of the story, of how things were for him than she had the first time around.

  A woman, maybe a few years older than her mother had been when she passed away, opened the door. Hayden had only seen Iris Ball at Gran’s funeral and at that time they never spoke. She was a handsome woman, tall and slim, her blonde hair pinned up in a neat bun. Though she was casually dressed, Hayden could sense the money it must’ve cost for the pale cream sweater and coffee colored slacks.

  She smiled slightly down at Hayden, but curiosity blazed in her gray-blue eyes.

  “Hayden, this is a surprise,” she said coolly, but stood back to invite Hayden into the foyer.

  “I’m sorry I came unexpectedly. I stopped by Jesse’s office first but I was told that he was here. If it’s a bad time…”

  Iris closed the door. “No, not at all. Jesse sometimes works here at home. I’m sure he’ll be glad to see you.”

  Hayden chuckled. “Well, I’m not so sure about that. I’m not here to discuss business, Iris. I need to talk to him about other things.”

  She was sure she didn’t need to go into details about what those other things were, and Iris nodded in understanding.

  “Before I do that though,” Hayden continued, “I just want you to know that I’m not here to cause trouble for him or for you or Libby. If you’d rather I just go, then I will. I don’t want anyone hurt by my being here.”

  For the first time the smile that Iris gave her was warm. She lay a hand on Hayden’s shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I’m not worried about that, Hayden. What happened between your mother and Jesse was put to rest a long time ago. I was hurt in the beginning, but I know now that he did love her. He and I didn’t marry for love, we didn’t find that until years later. By then I’d forgiven him for the beginnings. I’m sorry that you never got to know him.”

  “I had a wonderful stepfather in my life. I was happy. I just hope that Jesse and I can have something.”

  “I’ll take you to him now.”

  Without a word, Iris let Hayden into Jesse’s office and closed the door behind her, leaving Hayden alone with her father for the first time since their initial meeting.

  Jesse looked up, surprise caught on his face. “Hayden, what in the world are you doing here?”

  “Hopefully coming home to stay,” she replied evenly. “But before I head over to Ben’s I wanted to stop by and thank you for the box that you sent out with Ben. I appreciate you letting me know what you did, tried to do for me and Mom.’

  Jesse got to his feet and walked around his desk. He didn’t touch her, but Hayden sensed that he wanted to at least give her a hug, but she wasn’t ready for that, not just yet.

  “I always thought that it was too little too late,” he replied. He leaned back against his desk and shoved his hands in his pocket.

  “Why didn’t you come out to see her?” She didn’t ask the question to accuse him, but she was curious. It was a bit surprising to feel disappointed that he didn’t even try to see her. She wasn’t angry, just puzzled.

  “Actually, I did. I meant to check into the Widow’s Walk after your mom bought it so I could once and for all meet you and try to put a little closure on the bad ending your Mom and I had. I got to Clarksport and I took a walk before going to the inn, to calm my nerves. I made it up to the lighthouse you’re so fond of. I saw you there.”

  The shock was like a jolt of icy electricity. “What? I don’t remember this,” she exclaimed. “I was about six when we moved into the Widow’s Walk. I’d remember you.”

  Jesse looked down and sighed. “I didn’t go to you. You and your mother were with a man and he looked like he was a part of your family.”

  “Carl,” she said with a sigh. “My stepfather.”

  “You all looked so happy and I knew then that I could never interfere in that. I didn’t have the right. After that all I could do was try to help out financially, but your mother never wanted my help.”

  Hayden nodded. “If she couldn’t do it herself, she wouldn’t do it. She never wanted help from anyone.”

  “So that was that. There wasn’t much more that I could do. I wasn’t about to push myself on you or your family but I kept sending money until you turned eighteen.”

  “You know she never once mentioned you when I was little. I asked a few times when I was little but she always found some way to distract me. When she and Carl got married, I stopped asking. They were all I needed. We were happy. But when I was fifteen I wanted to run away.” Though she laughed now it wasn’t such a funny thing. “I hurt my mom really bad and she told me about how she left Burton with you. She didn’t mention your name, just said that my real dad left her in a hotel room and she had to fight for us ever since. I think she was just using this as something to scare me into seeing how foolish I was being. It worked.”

  Jesse looked up at her. His face was pale and his mouth was pulled down into a tight frown. He gave his head a shake.

  “After that I decided to just be grateful for the family that I had. It wasn’t until I came here that it hit me that I really needed to know about you.”

  “And I made a really good first impression.”

  Hayden shrugged. “I had a preconceived picture of you. If you walked up to me with devil horns, I wouldn’t have been surprised. I wasn’t much in the mood to give you a chance to explain.”

  Jesse’s face transformed. The frown was gone and he laughed. It was a rather pleasant sound and Hayden had to grin.

  “I also wanted to thank you and Libby for the help with the inn. I’d like to keep you both on, if she’s willing.”

  “So you really plan on remaining out here?”

  “Well, that depends on a few things. I can still stay at the house if I need to, but I’m hoping that I won’t have to.”

  “I can’t speak for Libby except to say she’s been enjoying this project. I, however, will help any way I can. As far as you staying is concerned, I don’t think you’ll have to be staying at Primrose. Of that I can be pretty certain.”

  Hayden smiled. She wasn’t as sure as he was, but she’d take it as encouragement. After all, he and Ben were pretty close. “I guess I should go find out.”

  Without asking, Jesse pushed away from the desk and took her into his arms. It was strange at first, the first physical contact she’d ever had with him, but she let herself sink into the comforting embrace and returned it. It was a start anyway. It would be a long time before she’d be truly comfortable with him, but she was willing to give it a go.

  Jesse showed her to the door and as soon as it was closed behind her, Hayden drew in a deep breath of chilly November air. It was time and her heart was filled with both fear and joy. She couldn’t bear the thought of Ben not wanting her back, but she wasn’t willing to commit her heart to it until she saw him face to face.

  Chapter Twelve

  Hayden didn’t immediately get out of the car. Through the windshield she stared at the main house, wondering what kind of reception would await her inside. There were a number of cars in the parking lot. Maybe not as many as there had been in the summer months, but The Painted Horse Ranch didn’t shut down in the winter.

  She glanced at her watch. Well, she couldn’t have timed her arrival any better. It was just after four-thirty. Amelia wo
uld be starting preparations for dinner by now. In the summer months, Ben and his crew would usually be out and about, working with the horses, with guests at the clinics, but with sunset imminent they were probably in the lodge with some other entertainment before supper. Perhaps Ben would be down at the barn in his office or up entertaining his frequent guests. There was only one way to find out.

  Finally, she took a deep breath. It was now or never. The longer she sat in the car, the more likely to turn the car around and head back to Rapid City, or the first hotel with vacancy she could find. She didn’t want to go to the inn. Not tonight. Not by herself. She had a lot to face over there, memories that didn’t quite belong to her, but were hers nonetheless. All that took second place to Ben, though.

  Courage, girl. You know you can do this.

  Hayden thrust the door open and climbed out of the car. Cool air wrapped around her, soothing her skin. She didn’t realize how hot she’d gotten, just anticipating her reunion with Ben. She glanced at her suitcase, sitting on the back seat. No, she’d leave it there for now. No reason to get her hopes up that she’d be staying.

  With purpose and confidence that was a complete lie, Hayden strode up the stairs to the house, stopping when she got to the door. Knock? Or just walk in. When she was there before it hadn’t been an issue. She’d been made to feel welcome. Why shouldn’t she just walk in? Amelia would come see who had arrived, maybe thinking her to be one of the frequent clients coming in for a clinic or there to purchase one of the beautiful horses.

  She certainly was neither of those.

  Licking her dry lips, Hayden turned the chilly brass handle and pushed the heavy oak door inward. It creaked on its hinges, no doubt sounding louder to her ears than it actually was. More gently she closed it and stepped into the foyer.

  Nothing had changed, but why should it have? She’d only been gone three months. Did she expect the place to be completely redecorated? What a thought.