How Not To Shop

by Carmen Reid

  What would Annie do without him?

  Well, she knew. She had been alone before him. Life would be OK, but it would be quiet, lonelier, more child-obsessed, not nearly so much fun . . . and definitely not nearly so fruity.

  This made her think of the gadgets again, with a smile. Apparently they were to keep her very happy.

  A baby. That was what would make Ed very happy.

  A baby? Would she really be able to give Ed a baby? Do this just for his sake?

  She tried for a moment to imagine Ed's baby and pictured a gurgling thing with wild hair, little glasses and a tweedy jacket. That was ridiculous.

  Then she imagined Ed holding a baby and that was much clearer. She saw his face so full of love he could barely tear his eyes from the little person in his arms.

  Maybe she could begin to think about doing this for him.

  Maybe?

  Annie had barely made it through the front door when she was hit by a volley of complaints.

  Her mother's voice rang out from the sitting room: 'Is that you, Annie? When are we going to Dinah's? For heaven's sake, will someone at least tell me when we're going, so that I can be prepared? I just want to know when we're going.'

  Before Annie could drop her bags and head in her mum's direction, Owen bounded up to her.

  'Why do you get to have Dave for the weekend?' he asked angrily. 'It's so unfair. Dinah won't have to do anything, I'll look after him. I'll look after him all the time. I'll take him out and feed him and he won't be any trouble at all. He's just settling in, he shouldn't be moved again . . . pleeeeeeeease, Mum,' Owen protested, looking up into her face with the most earnest, most pleading, most mother-heart-melting expression he could possibly muster.

  'Hello to you too, Owen, nice to see you,' Annie responded grumpily, 'Look, I'll have to ask Ed.'

  Personally, she couldn't think of anything she'd like better than for Dave not to come with them. But she had to think about what would be best for Dinah.

  Owen wasn't happy with this answer: 'It's not fair! Well, if you're going to take him all the way to some boring hotel in the car, then I'm going to the shop to get him some chews!'

  And with that, he clipped the lead to the dog's collar, grabbed his anorak and made for the front door, giving it a good, hard slam on the way out.

  'That's a bit of an over-reaction, Owen!' Annie shouted after him.

  'We're taking the dog and that's final!' Ed called from the upstairs bedroom, sounding unusually harassed himself.

  'When are we leaving for Dinah's?' her mother's voice rang out again.

  'All right, keep your hair on!' Annie headed for the sitting room where she found her mother standing by the window, peering out with anxiety.

  'What's the matter, Mum?' she asked her. 'There's no need to get your knickers in a twist. You're not going to Dinah's. Dinah is coming here. She's leaving Billie with Bryan and she's going to stay here for two nights and look after everyone. You can stay on here if you like, but didn't you say you wanted to go back home tomorrow?'

  'Oh yes,' Fern replied, as if she'd just remembered.

  'Is our Ukrainian friend in?' Annie asked.

  'She left with a big bag under her arms . . . that's why I thought we were all going to Dinah's,' Fern replied, 'and Lana, she's packed up to go to Dinah's too. I saw her leaving with a bulging schoolbag this morning.'

  'No, no!' Annie assured her, 'Lana's got a study date after school and Elena . . . maybe she has friends to see or something, I'll give her a call.'

  'So Dinah's coming here?' Fern asked again, still looking out of the window, as if she was waiting for someone.

  'Yes,' Annie answered trying to control her exasperation. 'Please sit down and let me get you a cup of tea. Are you looking for Owen?'

  'Owen?' her mother turned to her in some confusion.

  'He's just gone out of the house with Dave to get some dog treats from the corner shop . . . I didn't even know they sold that kind of thing,' she added, 'Now sit down,' she ordered her mother, 'I'll bring tea.'

  'Dog treats,' Fern began, 'that dog doesn't deserve treats. I found him eating one of my shoes. Got it off him just in time.'

  'No!' Annie was horrified, she'd already lost one Miu Miu bag . . . what if Dave decided to attack her shoes? She'd have to move them to a safe cupboard, maybe start keeping them under lock and key.

  'I'll get the tea,' Annie said again, but first she took the stairs two at a time to see how Ed was getting on with the packing.

  'I don't want the dog to come,' she whined as soon as she set foot in the bedroom.

  Ed turned his attention from the overnight bag on the bed to her. 'Not even a hello?'

  She went up and kissed him on the lips. Felt his arms close in round her back.

  'No . . . still don't want the dog to come,' she said afterwards, but with a smile now.

  'I'm sorry, he has to come. Dinah shouldn't have to mop up dog pee as well as everything else this weekend.'

  'Why didn't you get a house-trained dog?' Annie complained.

  'He is! He's just not on familiar territory yet.'

  Annie decided to stop talking and start packing. She examined the things lying on the bed in front of Ed's bag.

  'Is that a present?' She picked up a package carefully wrapped in colourful paper and tied with a ribbon.

  'Uh-huh,' he added with a little wiggle of his eyebrows.

  'For me?' She smiled at Ed.

  'Hey, for all you know that might be a bone to keep the dog happy.'

  'A bone? A bone, huh?' She read the playful look on his face. 'I'm looking forward to the bone.'

  'Me too.'

  'But it's your birthday,' she protested, 'you're the one who should be getting presents.'

  'What can I say?' He put his arms around her again. 'I'm a generous man.'

  She might have turned to kiss him, but then the doorbell rang.

  'Must be Dinah, I'll go,' Annie offered and headed out of the room.

  'When's Lana back?' Ed called after her.

  'She's going to Andrei's for a study date,' Annie informed him, 'promised to be home by ten and I've given her money for a taxi.'

  'Andrei's?' Ed repeated. He followed her out of the bedroom and stood in the hall at the top of the stairs with a concerned look on his face.

  'Yeah,' Annie shouted back.

  'Andrei's not home tonight,' Ed called down to her.

  Annie could see Dinah's outline in the glass panes of the front door, but this information stopped her in her tracks.

  'What d'you mean?' she asked, turning to look at Ed.

  'At 7 p.m. tonight, Andrei's at Dulwich High School, opening up for the St Vincent's debating team.'

  For a moment, Annie and Ed looked at each other in silence.

  Then Dinah's second ring at the doorbell punctuated their anxious thoughts. Annie flung open the door.

  'Hi. You're a star. Mum's in the sitting room. Help yourself to tea, biscuits – anything! Slight Lana crisis, babes. We've got to get her back home before we go.' Dinah crossed the threshold into apparent chaos.

  Annie was already dialling Lana's mobile number. But to her frustration, the call went through to voicemail.

  'Lana, it's your mum, whatever your plans are for this evening, I need to know about them. Call me,' she ordered, and hung up.

  Annie then went through the list of numbers she had for Lana's friends and Lana's friends' mothers. She would phone them all. She would ring everyone until she knew where her daughter was. At the forefront of her mind was the thought that Lana had recently been so trouble-free, so studious and so honest . . . but things had changed as soon as Elena had come along.

  Now Lana had bought scary clothes, spent a school night out too late in a café, smelled of cigarette smoke, and there obviously wasn't as much studying going on as there had been before.

  She dialled Elena's mobile.

  Voicemail.

  'It's Annie, call me as soon as you get this message.
Straight away,' she barked.

  When the two friends and three mothers she'd been able to reach had been unable to give her any further information, Annie decided to go up to Lana's room to see if she could find any clues there.

  A quick look around told her that her daughter's latest shoes and dress were missing along with her make-up bag. It was enough to make the tears well up.

  'Elena!' Annie whispered to herself feeling anxious, angry and hurt, 'this is all about Elena!'

  Last night, Elena had come back after midnight. Annie had heard a car pull up in the street and wait until Elena had let herself in the front door. It hadn't bothered Annie particularly. Elena was 22. She'd got herself all the way from Kiev to London, it was obvious she had friends in town and she could look after herself. Annie hadn't considered that maybe next time, Elena would want Lana to tag along with her.

  Back down in the sitting room she found Ed, with Dinah and her mother, texting with his phone.

  'Is there someone you can call?' Annie asked him.

  'Just wondered about getting a message to Andrei,' Ed replied. 'I've got a number for the teacher going to the debate with him. Maybe he can pass on a message.'

  'I can't think of anyone else to phone . . . maybe someone will call back,' Annie said. She looked down at her phone and tried first Lana's and then Elena's number again. She couldn't sit down . . . she walked round the room, fussing at things: straightening magazine piles, rearranging the framed photos on the mantelpiece . . .

  'Try not to worry,' Ed soothed, 'she's a sensible girl. She's maybe gone out with Elena, but I bet you anything you like she'll be home in a taxi at 10 p.m. on the dot.'

  Ed's mobile began to ring, and everyone turned towards it hopefully.

  'Hi,' he answered it, 'hi, Andrei. Thanks for calling. Sorry to bother you. We're looking for Lana . . .'

  Ed was listening with concentration.

  'Right . . .' he said, 'did she? . . . Yeah . . . that's right . . .' Ed listened for several minutes, before asking: 'D'you think you could? That would be really helpful. Brilliant. OK, speak then . . . cheers.'

  He folded up his phone, stood up and told Annie: 'She's over in the East End with Elena. I don't know where exactly, but Andrei's going to try and find out. She's texted him already to ask him to come. I'll head over there,' Ed added.

  'What are they doing? Why does Lana need Andrei?' Annie asked frantically.

  'Apparently Elena's meeting someone about a job and she wanted Lana to come with her.'

  'What kind of job?'

  'I don't know. Look, I'm going to take the car and head over there. Andrei will tell me more just as soon as he can. We'll find her,' he added as reassuringly as he could.

  'I'm going to come,' Annie said.

  'No, I'll be fine, stay here and man the phones,' he told her. 'Keep calling everyone who might know where she is and you might find something out sooner than me. Please Annie, you know it makes sense.'

  'All right . . .' she agreed reluctantly.

  Ed had decided that telling Annie what Lana's text to Andrei had said wouldn't be helpful just now. She'd told him she didn't like the place and could he please come as soon as possible. Andrei had just been wondering how he could make it to the East End and be back in time to catch the minibus to Dulwich High School when he'd got the message to phone Ed from his English teacher.

  Ed took Annie's car keys and headed out of the door, promising to call as soon as he had any more news at all.

  'How are you doing?' Annie asked her sister, once she'd accepted a fresh cup of tea and finally been persuaded to sit down. Dinah, leaning back on the sofa beside their mother, looked pale and tired. Now that Annie had put down her phone she noticed this for the first time.

  'Oh OK,' Dinah replied, 'the embryos are in but no point counting that as pregnant yet,' came the frank revelation.

  'Oh Dinah!' Fern turned sympathetically and patted her hand, 'I'm so sorry you have to go through all this. It always seemed easy . . . a little too easy for me to get pregnant.' This must have caused Fern to think fleetingly of her ex-husband because a particularly dark expression crossed her face. Her husband had lost contact with his family years ago. He was a cargo ship captain who'd specialized in trans-global relationships of the wrong kind, and Fern had been glad to get rid of him; now, quite honestly, she and her girls had no idea whether he was dead or alive, it was so long since they'd heard anything from him at all.

  'Dinah, I don't think we should go away this weekend,' Annie announced. 'It's not fair on you. It's you and Bryan who should be going on a minibreak, not us.'

  'We will. We have it planned,' Dinah said, 'we'll take a proper holiday in a couple of months, either way: up the duff or not. Why do you think I'm here?' she asked with a smile. 'I'm building up Brownie points for when I need you or, even better, Ed to babysit.'

  'Well, you're definitely not here for fun, are you? I mean, what a blooming disaster!' Annie exclaimed. 'How could Lana do this?! And today!'

  'Because she's a teenage girl?!' Fern chipped in. 'When I think of all the things the three of you used to get up to – and especially you, Annie.'

  At this, Annie had to lean back in her chair and consider for a moment. Looking back, it all seemed innocent enough because nothing really terrible had happened to her. But would she want her daughter to do the things she'd done? Be in the risky situations she'd put herself in?

  Annie had been out almost every weekend, aged 17 onwards, always taking the night bus home and walking the final stretch, in heels and miniskirts, with her house keys poking out from between her fingers as if that was going to protect her from an attacker.

  'But it was different back then!' she protested.

  'Aha!' Fern chuckled. 'How many mothers have heard themselves saying that? You know that isn't true. It's Lana's job to get out and have some adventures. It's your job to rein her in and keep her safe. That's just how it should be, love.'

  Annie smiled at her mum. This was all true. But mainly she was smiling because whatever fog had been clouding Fern's head lately, it seemed to be clearing.

  'Annie?' Dinah began, 'I've not seen your dog yet. Has Owen . . .'

  'OWEN!' Annie shrieked, jumping up from her chair and flipping her cup of tea straight onto the floor. He'd been away for far too long.

  Chapter Thirty-one

  Lana goes out:

  Yellow boob tube (New Look)

  Black miniskirt (same)

  Black leggings (Topshop)

  Long black boots (Greta's)

  Lashings of mascara (Rimmel)

  Total est. cost: £45

  'I feel sick.'

  Ed glanced anxiously at his watch. It was already 7.45, dark outside and now the rain had started. He was parked on a busy road near Old Street watching the Friday evening hustle around him.