Welcome to Last Chance

by Cathleen Armstrong

  Ray followed only a step or two before he stopped. His eyes were tender when he took her in his arms. He kissed her nose and her forehead and finished with another light kiss on her lips. “It’s getting late. We need to get going if we’re going to get back to the barn before dark.”

  Lainie pulled away and looked at Ray. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing’s wrong. We just have a long ride ahead of us, and going down isn’t as easy as coming up.”

  “Don’t give me that. I know you didn’t bring me up here just to look at some pictures. What happened?”

  Ray picked up Lainie’s hand. He kissed it and held it against his cheek. “You know what? I did bring you up here to show you where my heart lives—in this place, in my art. I want to know you better, and I want you to know me. But this is moving a little fast. Let’s just take it easy.”

  Lainie jerked away. “Right. My mistake. Don’t mind me. I’m a tramp.”

  Ray reached for her hand again, but she had moved out of reach. “Come on, Lainie, be fair. You think I don’t want to go inside with you? I’m human, you know, and you’re beautiful. But it’s because I do want to see where this goes that I want to go slow. I don’t want to rush into something and ruin it.”

  Lainie folded her arms. She wasn’t quite sure she was ready to forgive him yet. His smile was coaxing, and she allowed him to draw her into his arms again.

  “And for your information”—he kissed her lightly—“I would flatten anyone I heard using that term about you, and I’m not a violent man. I don’t want to hear you say it about yourself, either. Ever.”

  “I was being sarcastic.”

  “I don’t care. No one, not even you, can disrespect Lainie Davis and get away with it.”

  “You make it sound like people are coming from miles around to take their shots. Is it that bad?”

  Ray laughed. “No, and that’s my point. If everyone in Last Chance sees you as someone special, maybe you should give them some credit.”

  “Maybe no one in Last Chance really knows me.”

  Ray took her face in both his hands and looked into her eyes. “Lainie, despite what you may think, you’re not the only one in town with a past. Everyone in Last Chance has something in their life that they’re not proud of. And in a town this size, it’s more than likely that everyone else knows about it. We—most of us anyway—have learned to just overlook the bad and to concentrate on the good. Otherwise Last Chance would be the blackmail capital of the Southwest.”

  “Even you?”

  “Yep, even me.”

  “Even Elizabeth?”

  Ray threw back his head and roared with laughter. “Well, maybe not her, but everybody else. Now, come on. We really do have to get going. It’ll be dark soon.” He took her hand and led her to where the horses were tied, and this time she didn’t pull her hand away.

  11

  Elizabeth waved from the front porch when Ray’s pickup pulled up. “Did you all see that sunset? You know, I’ve been out here sixty years and more and they still take my breath away. Are you staying for supper, Ray? I know you can’t have eaten yet.” She opened the front door and Sam, who had been keeping watch with her, led the parade into the house.

  “Depends. Are you having waffles?”

  “It’s Sunday night, isn’t it?”

  Ray grinned and gave her a one-armed hug. “Then I wouldn’t miss it.”

  In the kitchen, Elizabeth put them to work making coffee and setting the table while she whipped up the waffle batter. Lainie couldn’t remember seeing her so happy.

  “Ray, you need to come around more and that’s all there is to it. Lainie and I would love the company, wouldn’t we, Lainie?” If she noticed Lainie and Ray exchanging smiles over her head, she didn’t say so. “It’s been a while since I’ve had anyone over in the evening. It’s like a party. In fact, I think I’ll call Fayette and Matthew and see if they’d like to come over and join us.”

  “You heard the lady. I’ve been ordered to come around more. And I always do what my grandmother says.” Ray kept his voice low while Elizabeth chatted on the phone.

  Lainie made a rude noise and handed him a stack of plates. “Here. Go put these on the table.”

  Elizabeth hung up the phone and turned around. “Matthew’s still out with friends, but he’s due home any minute. I told Fayette just to leave a note telling him to come on over and bring his friends with him. He always did love my waffles.”

  “Who doesn’t?” Ray put the syrup pitcher in the middle of the table.

  The first waffles were ready to come off the iron when Fayette came in alone.

  “Matthew’s not home yet?” Elizabeth gave her a peck on the cheek.

  “No, and I’m getting worried. He said he’d be home by dark.”

  “Honey, it’s barely dark now. You know how boys can be. He’ll be along soon. Did you mention in your note that his friends are welcome too?”

  “Yes, but they don’t even come into our house when they come to pick Matthew up. These aren’t boys from around here. I don’t know their families, and, well, they just don’t seem like they were raised right, if you know what I mean.”

  They sat around the table in the kitchen and Elizabeth held her hands to Fayette and Lainie. Ray completed the circle. “Ray, darlin’, will you offer thanks?” She smiled across the table at her grandson, and Ray bowed his head and in simple, easy phrases thanked God for the day, for the food, and for their many blessings, adding a prayer that his brother Steven come home safely.

  Lainie would have sworn that she saw tears in Elizabeth’s blue eyes after Ray said amen, but her voice was as strong as ever as she passed the butter and syrup.

  Ray forked a sausage onto his plate. “I found out Lainie didn’t know till this afternoon that you were my grandmother.”

  “Really? Didn’t we talk about that painting in the front room the day you got here?”

  “You said your grandson painted it.”

  “I didn’t say which one? Are you sure?”

  “Yep, I’m sure. I did not know until this afternoon when I saw paintings like that one at Ray’s cabin and put two and two together.”

  “Well, forevermore,” said Elizabeth.

  “You rode clear up there?” Fayette raised an eyebrow. “I thought you kept that place off limits to us mere mortals.”

  “She forced me.” Ray grinned at Lainie. “She said she had to see my etchings.”

  “Ray!” Elizabeth sounded shocked.

  “Just kidding, Gran. I was a perfect gentleman, wasn’t I, Lainie?”

  “Well, I’ll thank you to be a perfect gentleman in this house, as well.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” Ray ducked his head like a chastened little boy.

  Lainie was glad that the conversation drifted to other things as they finished their waffles and lingered over another cup of coffee. She still felt a prickle of humiliation when she thought of Ray’s rebuff at the cabin. The second rebuff, actually, if she counted the night she got into town. She looked at Ray, who gave her a wink over his coffee cup. This dude needed some figuring out. She began stacking the sticky plates, and when Fayette tried to help, Elizabeth stopped her.

  “No. This is your time to just sit. You go on in the living room with Ray. Lainie and I’ll just dump these dishes in the sink.”

  When they joined Ray and Fayette a few minutes later, Ray was straddling the piano bench looking at the hymnbook open on the piano and plinking a tune with one finger. He vacated the bench and gestured for his grandmother to be seated.

  “Why don’t you play for us, Gran?”

  Elizabeth sat down and flexed her fingers. “These old hands of mine are so stiff now. I don’t know that I can, but I’ll give it a try.”

  Her hands flew over the keys as she played a hymn Lainie remembered having heard at church. When Elizabeth finished, she didn’t turn around but flipped through the pages looking for another.

  She began to play and to sing, “O
n a hill far away, stood an old rugged cross . . .” Ray joined in, adding bass harmony. By the time they were singing, “So I’ll cherish the old rugged cross,” Fayette was singing too. And when Ray took the hymnbook off the piano and handed it to Lainie, pointing out the place, Elizabeth didn’t miss a note.

  After they finished, Elizabeth sat back and put her hands in her lap.

  “Don’t stop now.” Ray headed for the hall. “Is your guitar still in the closet?” He brought out the battered case and tuned the old instrument. His soft chords added to the piano notes as they sang hymn after hymn.

  “Okay, I’m warmed up now.” Ray settled the strap more comfortably on his shoulder and shook out his fingers. “Let’s do ‘In the Garden.’”

  He played the old hymn flawlessly. It was clearly a guitar solo with Elizabeth accompanying him on the piano. Lainie found the page in the hymnbook and tried to follow along. Even without the words, the melody was haunting. But the words touched Lainie in a place deep inside she had long guarded. What would it be like to have someone tell you that you were his own? That you were his own in a loving, protective way—not like you were his property. A crushing ache swelled in her chest until she felt she couldn’t breathe.

  With a flourish, Ray finished and took an elaborate bow. “And that was my first solo at church. How old was I, Gran, fourteen?”

  “About that. I remember how proud your mama was.” Elizabeth’s smile was sad.

  “Yeah, she was pretty sick by that time. I thought sure my mind-blowing musical talent would bring Dad to church for her at least that one time, but nope. He was a pretty tough old bird.”

  “Yes, well . . . That was his loss, I’m afraid, because you play beautifully.”

  “Oh, he liked to hear me play, all right, just not hymns. But I did get to play ‘In the Garden’ for him before he died—minus the accompaniment, of course.”

  “Well, that’s a surprise. Brother Parker went to see him in the hospital but Buck wouldn’t even acknowledge his presence. Just lay there with his eyes closed like he was asleep. He was awfully stubborn right to the end.”

  “He didn’t have much choice but to listen to me play. He could lie there with his eyes closed all day long. I wasn’t going anywhere. So I played and talked to him all I wanted to.”

  “Well, who knows? It may have done some good.” Elizabeth didn’t sound as if she believed it had.

  “I think I know.” Ray’s voice was husky, and he cleared his throat to continue. “Right at the last, when we both knew he wouldn’t be here much longer, I told him we had to get serious. I told him he was about to step out into eternity, and if he ever wanted to see Mom again, he’d better do some serious thinking. So we talked, or I did, and I told him it was about a whole lot more than seeing Mom again. I took his hand, told him that Jesus had died even for an old reprobate like him, and asked him if he wanted to tell God he was sorry for all the shenanigans he had pulled, and he squeezed my hand for yes. Then I asked him if he’d like me to pray and tell God so. Squeezed again. So I did and then asked if he meant it. One more squeeze. That’s about all either of us could do. So I have to believe he’s with the Lord and Mom right now.”

  “You never told me that.” Elizabeth’s voice dropped to just above a whisper.

  Ray shrugged. “I should have, but I’m my father’s son, I guess. I can be every bit as stubborn, sorry to say.”

  The tears in Elizabeth’s eyes ran over and rolled down her cheeks. She pulled a lace-trimmed handkerchief from her sleeve and blew her nose. “I’m sorry. It’s just that your mama’s deepest regret, other than leaving you and Steven, was that she was never able to reach Buck. But eternity being as it is, it probably didn’t seem to her that she was there five minutes before she turned around and there he was.” She dabbed her eyes and stuffed her handkerchief back into her sleeve.

  Ray put his arm around her for a quick squeeze. “Well, on that note, I’d better take off. It’s nearly ten, and I’ve got at least a couple hours of paperwork to do tonight. This has been great. Let’s do it again soon.”

  “Heavens, is it really ten already?” Fayette jumped to her feet. “Where is Matthew? Something’s happened. I just know it.”

  Ray put his hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her down into a chair. “Look, before you rush off, let’s call Ben and see if there’s been any trouble anywhere. We’ll ask him to tell Matthew to go on home if he runs into him.”

  Fayette sank back on the sofa, clutching her purse. “Thanks, Ray. I’d appreciate it if you called, but then I’d better get home, because when I do see Matthew, it’ll be best for everyone if no one else is around.” Her smile barely turned up the corners of her mouth.

  In just a couple minutes Ray came back in from the kitchen. “Well, Ben says all’s quiet. Not so much as a speeding ticket. But he did say he’d keep an eye out.”

  Elizabeth hugged Fayette good-bye. “He’s fine, sweetie, just being a boy. I can’t tell you the number of nights I sat up waiting for the boys—well, for Steven mostly, but they always got home.”

  Fayette paused on her way out the door. “Well, thank you so much for having me over. If I’d had to sit home all evening wondering where he was, I think I’d have gone nuts. And I did love the music.”

  As Ray prepared to follow her, Elizabeth hugged him too. “I want you to know just hearing you play and sing tonight blessed my soul more than you’ll ever know. And the news about your dad, well . . .” Her voice choked off and she reached for her handkerchief.

  Ray put his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. “We’ll do it again sometime soon.” He held his hand out to Lainie. “Walk me to the truck?”

  A cool night wind was blowing when Lainie and Ray stepped out onto the porch. He slid his arm around her and pointed into the sky. “Big Dipper. See?”

  “Mm-hmm. Wow, there are a lot of stars. I had no idea there were so many.”

  “That’s ’cause the lights blotted them all out when you were in California. See that pale swath of stars that goes right across the sky? That’s the Milky Way.”

  “You know a lot about the stars.”

  Lainie could feel his smile against her hair. “I’ve just always loved the night sky. When I was a kid, I used to spend most summer nights outside in my sleeping bag. I would more or less doze all night long, and every time I woke up the sky was different.”

  Lainie leaned her head against Ray’s shoulder and looked at the sky. It made her feel small and unimportant, but somehow that was okay. She felt a tension she couldn’t remember ever being without slide from her neck and shoulder, and she closed her eyes as a soft sigh escaped.

  A tightening of Ray’s arm around her shoulders and his soft breath on her face prepared her for the touch of his lips on hers. When he drew away, it was only far enough to gaze into her eyes. He brushed a strand of hair from her face with one finger. “See you tomorrow.”

  The screen door opened and Elizabeth stuck her head out the door. “Fayette just called. Matthew’s home.”

  Ray raised his hand over his head in a wave. “Glad to hear it. Knew he’d be okay.” He got in his truck and leaned out the open window. “Thanks for coming with me today. It meant a lot to me to get to show you what I’m really all about.”

  Lainie smiled. “Yeah, well, you really owe me big time. I’m already getting so sore I can hardly move.”

  “It’ll be easier next time. Promise.” Ray started his engine, and Lainie watched till the red taillights turned the corner. The street settled into the night sounds of crickets and rustling leaves. Lainie looked up at the sky, white with stars. It was hard to believe that this sky arched over the lights and the noise of the life she had left behind.

  A slither of dread settled in her stomach, reminding her that her old life was not entirely behind her. A remnant hid like a snake in the backpack in her closet. For two weeks she had tried not to think about it, but now she just wanted it gone.

  She turned and ran
up the steps. Elizabeth smiled from her recliner and opened her mouth to say something. Lainie beat her to it.

  “Could I borrow your truck? There’s something I need to do.”

  “Now? It’s past ten.”

  “I won’t be gone long, but it’s really important.”

  “Well, of course, honey. The keys are on the hook in the kitchen, but—”

  “Thanks.” Lainie didn’t stay to hear the rest. She ran to her room, grabbed the backpack from the closet, and snatched the keys off the hook on her way out the door.

  Not until she was on the road did she stop to consider what she was going to do. Disposing of the drugs in Last Chance was out. The town was just too small. Even if no one saw her, someone was likely to find them. She turned toward San Ramon.

  The plan came to her before she got to the highway. She’d find a trash barrel and shove the package deep inside. It would wind up buried in a landfill somewhere. Or, better yet, she’d drop it in a mailbox. It might actually get to the proper authorities that way.

  Up ahead, she could see the small portable building that housed the county sheriff substation. Ben Apodaca’s patrol car was parked alongside, nose pointed toward the highway in case he got an emergency call. Her mouth was dry as her truck, almost under its own volition, slowed and pulled off the highway and stopped next to Ben’s patrol car. Through the window she could see him at his desk, bent over some paperwork.

  Closing her eyes, she tried to compose a prayer, but all that came was, “Help, please, help.” Taking a deep breath, she grabbed the strap of her backpack and got out of the truck.

  Ben looked up when she walked in. Lainie hadn’t seen him since that first day at the Dip ’n’ Dine, but she could tell he recognized her. “Evening. What can I do for you?”

  Lainie took a deep breath, opened her mouth to speak, closed it again, cleared her throat, and then plunged in. “I . . . I just need to talk to you.” There. If she had second thoughts now, it was just too bad.

  “Then come in and have a seat and we’ll talk.” Ben gestured with his chin at a chrome and worn red vinyl chair across from his desk and reached for the stained carafe simmering on a hot plate behind him. “Want some coffee? It’s been sitting here a while and it’d probably be easier to eat it with a fork than drink it, but it’s hot.”