Seeing Forever
Page 10
“Luc.”
No matter how many times she said his name, Katey always managed to melt his heart, and make his day. The fact that he wasn’t expecting her, made it all the more exciting. All day he’d been thinking that he’d spend the evening alone trying to figure out the Braille book the nurse had brought by, or even lying in bed and listening to the radio.
“I thought you were working tonight,” he said.
“I was, but something came up.”
“Come in. Do you want something to eat? Josie dropped off a chicken casserole yesterday. It won’t take me long to nuke it.”
“No, I had supper before I left. Thanks anyway.”
He sensed Katey was inside the house so he shut the door. She took his arm and they walked back along the hallway.
“Can we go into the living room and talk?” she said.
She sounded serious, upset almost. Maybe she and her step-mom had argued. The woman sounded like a dragon lady. He hoped he could help in some small way.
Luc sat down and guessed that Katey was beside him because he could feel the warmth from her body seeping into his thigh. He reached out, felt her leg and squeezed it. “So, what’s wrong?”
She burst into tears and he didn’t know quite what to do. He lifted his arms and tried to feel where she was so he could comfort her. Katey put her arms around him and he felt a splash of something wet that he assumed were her tears falling on his shoulder.
“Hey, what’s brought this on?”
“I don’t know how to tell you this.”
Shit, she doesn’t want to see me anymore.
“I’m…”
“You’re what?”
“I’m going to have a baby.”
Geez, he hadn’t seen that one coming.
“My baby?” He guessed it was, but he thought he should check.
“Yes, your baby.”
He fell toward the back of the couch. He had to take this into his brain. Maybe he was dreaming. They’d used condoms but he wasn’t foolish enough to think they were one hundred percent foolproof.
His nightmarish life suddenly took a new turn, not because she was having a baby, but that he’d never see it, never be a proper dad to it. It was if the world was throwing more shit at him, laughing at him and saying: now handle this.
“I’m sorry this happened,” she said. She was shaking in his arms.
He realized he hadn’t said anything, but he couldn’t because he didn’t know what words to use.
“I’m keeping it, I mean if you were wondering…”
“Sure, it’s your choice. I’m behind you whatever you decide.” He stood, suddenly realizing he couldn’t give her all that she deserved. A normal man, to help her raise the baby. A man to change diapers, a man….
Bile rose in his throat. Life was sending him another test and he didn’t like it one little bit. First him losing his sight, Jake connecting him with Katey, and now giving them a baby that he’d never see.
He stood up and wanted to run, but where would he go?
“Katey, I can’t do this.”
“Do what?”
“You need someone better in your life than me.”
“So what are you saying, you’re going to desert me?”
“No, no, but I’m disabled and I don’t have a proper job. The job I did love I can’t do anymore. I couldn’t be a proper father and…”
“You can have the operation.”
He looked up. “Is that what you want me to do, put away all my fear, hope the surgery works and we live happily ever after?”
“I never thought I’d say this but you’re a coward, Luc Frasier.”
Katey, of all people had stepped across the line.
“You can’t make me do something I don’t want to.”
“Then how about thinking about someone else besides yourself.”
So that’s what she really thought about him. A knife to the heart would have hurt a lot less.
“I think this has brought a lot of issues between us to the surface, so maybe it’s best you leave. Send me any medical bills, anything you feel I should pay for, but I think we’re done here.”
That hurt him to say it but if she really thought him a coward and selfish, he couldn’t see a future, even with a child on the way.
She didn’t say anything and he stood there until he heard the front door slam and a car driving away.
He sat down, forgetting that the chair was no longer behind him and fell ass first on the floor. He turned over onto his stomach and cried into the carpet.
Why was it when you thought life was beginning to work out for you that something came along the screwed it up?
Chapter Eighteen
She hadn’t slept more than an hour. When she woke up the first thing she needed to do was throw up. She made a dash for the bathroom and just about made it there in time. She sat on the floor and wiped her mouth with a damp washcloth, knowing she was going to throw up again. The worst thing about discovering love was it could be just as easily lost as it was found. She hadn’t meant to seem so arrogant about Luc getting the surgery. The words selfish and coward had slipped out of her mouth before she could take them back. But she was scared and he’d made her angry.
“Katey, how long are you going to be in there, because other people want to use the bathroom besides you.”
Ruth banged on the door. If only her own mother was still alive, she’d comfort her and know what to say and do to make this okay. If only it could be made okay.
“I’ll be right out,” said Katey.
She’d barely got the words out when she threw up again.
“You being sick in there…hope, it’s not catching? If it is, stay in your room.”
Katey rested her head on her forearm. What was she going to do, not only about her broken heart, but about raising a baby by herself? She was living at home and only had a part-time job. What a mess, and she needed to talk to someone.
Her dad. She’d talk to him, alone before he went to work. He’d know what to do.
****
Luc didn’t want to get out of bed. He thought about the bathroom cabinet and wondering what bottle the pills were in. He wouldn’t be foolish enough to down the vitamin C again. He turned onto his side, hearing Willow moving around and then a paw landing on top of his forearm.
“I know I was mean to Katey, but I don’t want the surgery, and I don’t need someone telling me I do, not even her. And you know I love her, right?”
Willow slapped his paw down twice.
“I’m going to be a father and I won’t be able to see my baby, how mean can life get?”
He realized he was having a conversation with a dog, but who else would understand all this? Willow knew Katey as well as Luc did.
Maybe he’d call Jake.
Luc slapped the bedside table and pulled the phone toward him. “Call Jake,” he said. It wasn’t until he heard what sounded like a half-asleep guy on the other end of the line that he realized he should have checked the time first.
“Hi Luc, everything okay?”
“Sorry, did I wake you and Gen?”
“Nope, well, yeah, but no problem.”
Luc took a deep breath.
“Something wrong with Willow?”
“No, he’s great. It’s Katey.”
“Katey? Jeez, hope nothing’s happened to her.”
“No, no, well. Oh shit, Jake, I got her pregnant.”
“These things happen. It’s not the end of the world.”
Easy for you to say.
“I was an asshole because I was in a bad mood, whining that I couldn’t be the man she deserved for her or the baby, and she suggested the operation and…”
“You lost your temper.”
“Exactly…told her to leave, and basically not come back.”
“But did you mean it?”
“Yes, no…I don’t know.”
“Well, you’d better decide soon.”
****
She found him sitting at the table reading and eating toast spread with the thick layer of marmalade. He’d eaten that for breakfast since she was a kid. She wished they could rewind time and go back to the days when she was a child and her mom was alive and well.
Katey twisted her hair around her finger. How could she break the news to him? He’d probably be embarrassed more than she was. He had been when he’d told her about the facts of life, and he’d gone scarlet when she’d told him she’d started her period.
“Hi, honey, you okay? You look a bit under the weather today.”
If she didn’t hurry, Ruth would be back in the kitchen and it’s the last thing she wanted her to overhear.
Katey pulled out a chair and sat next to her father, thinking it best to just get it out.
“I’m pregnant.”
Her father’s mouth was open for what seemed like forever but Katey knew it had only been a few seconds.
“I’m going to be a granddad?”
She nodded.
He leaned over and hugged her. “I didn’t know you were dating anyone!”
“I’ve been… I’ve been sort of seeing Luc, the man whose dog I’m training.”
“And I take it this wasn’t planned?”
Katey shook her head.
“And how does he feel about it?”
Katey burst into tears. “He doesn’t want to ever see me again.”
“Oh, honey, it’s okay, everything is going to be fine.”
****
“I’m going to be an aunt?”
He could imagine the smile on Josie’s face right now. He’d always been a playboy and Josie had often said she’d be a grandmother before she was an aunt. How wrong she’d been.
“I’m so excited for you, Luc. I think this is just what you need to get you out of the depression you’ve been in. So will there be a wedding too?”
Luc ran his hands through his hair. She was going to be angry at him.
“There’s not even a relationship now. I told her to leave and not come back.”
“Lucas Frasier, you shock me more each day.”
“She suggested I get the surgery.”
“Then she’s not only pretty, she’s smart too.”
“I can’t have the operation. I’m scared shitless.”
“What are you, ten or thirty-five?”
“Let’s not talk about that right now, because I need you to take me to Katey’s. I need to ask for her forgiveness.”
“Oh little brother, you are so stubborn. Okay, let’s go and you want Willow to come too?”
“Sure, he might be the perfect peace negotiator.”
****
Katey was enduring another round of morning sickness when she heard voices drifting up from downstairs.
“You can’t bring that dog in here. I’ve never had animals in the house and I’m not starting now.”
It was Ruth.
“Can’t you see that I’m blind and this is a service dog?”
It was Luc’s voice and she froze.
“I don’t care, and if you won’t leave him outside then you can wait out there too.”
“You’re lucky I have a dog and not a cane, because I’d beat you over the head with it.”
“Look here, I don’t care if you’re disabled, you can’t go around speaking to people like that.”
“Out of my way, dragon lady, I want to see Katey.”
Katey wiped her mouth with the damp washcloth and knew she had to go to rescue Luc before he did any bodily harm to Ruth. Not that her step-mom wouldn’t deserve it, but she didn’t want Luc getting in any trouble. She took a deep breath and headed down the stairs.
Luc and Willow were now standing on sheets of newspaper by the front door.
“Luc, I’m here, what did you want?”
She walked toward him and stroked Willow’s head.
“I wanted to say I’m sorry and that I didn’t mean it when I told you to go and not come back.”
“I know.”
He lifted his hand. She didn’t want to take it but she couldn’t resist it.
“Will you come back to work with me and Willow?”
“I’m going to stay with my aunt for a few months. There’s a job opening for a temporary receptionist and I thought I’d take it so I can save some money.”
He swallowed twice and his Adam’s apple bounced.
“You can’t. I need you. Willow needs you too.”
“You’ll be fine without me.”
“No, we won’t.”
“I have to.”
“There’s no such thing as have to.”
“I need time to think.”
He nodded.
“Of course, if you decided on the surgery I might stay around.”
“Katey, do not do this to me.”
“If you think anything about me and this baby you’ll do it.”
Chapter Nineteen
Sadie watched the rain slide down the window pane in her Boise office. She glanced at the papers for Katey and Luc, and then fingered their signatures. She wouldn’t give up on these two despite the fact that Katey’d left town and had now been in Coeur D’Alene for close to four months.
This wouldn’t be the first Perfect Pairing failure. She, like Jake and Gen, had sensed that Katey and Luc were meant to be together.
She’d been watched closely for the last month or so and was pretty sure that Ted had reported seeing her use a spell while he’d been here working on the accounts. They’d sent representatives from the Department of Love on two separate occasions under the guise of just seeing how things were running, but Sadie guessed they were trying to catch her red-handed. She loved this job and Perfect Pairing too much to fall into a trap. However, every witch got desperate now and then, and she had to intervene and put a spell into the universe for these two lost loves. And there was even more urgency with this pairing, as a baby was due soon.
Sadie stood and walked over to the cupboard. Maybe the baby would be the perfect person to bring Katey to her senses, send her back to Luc, and fate could take it from there.
She pulled out her silver mixing bowl and took down two spell powders. Just enough to get a baby active and make mama think about how much she missed its daddy.
****
Katey wondered what her body would look like when she got to nine months. She was sure she’d been gaining weight by the hour since she’d moved out of her dad’s house. Of course, her Aunt Jean’s cooking might have something to do with it. She bent over to rub the tops of her toes and stopped suddenly. The baby had moved. She sat back up and rubbed her belly and closed her eyes. She’d felt minute stirrings before now, but this had been different. It felt like the baby had shifted position inside her.
How she wished that Luc had been around to feel it. A tear slipped down her cheek. She missed him. Not a minute had passed when she hadn’t thought about him. Sometimes she’d considered driving back to Boise and letting him have his way, but she couldn’t.
The baby moved again and it almost took her breath away. She stood up and walked across the room. Was it doing somersaults in there and was it normal?
Maybe she should call the doctor. No, on Friday she was having her first ultrasound and she’d ask then if a suddenly overactive baby was something to worry about.
She glanced down, sure she could see the baby moving under her skin. Her heart beat fast and how weird was this? She thought she heard the baby telling her she needed to get back to Boise because Luc needed her.
Chapter Twenty
Willow led him along the street as he sensed a car was pulling up by the curb. Maybe it was one of the neighbors wanting to say hi. At least he was used to people stopping him now and they’d gotten used to sometimes saying the wrong thing, like did you see the sky last night? Have you seen Mrs. Hodges’ yard and how nice it looks?
“The t
wo of you are doing great.”
He pulled on Willow’s harness to stop. Was he dreaming, because it sounded just like Katey…
“Katey?”
He turned his head in the direction he thought he’d heard her voice. Something he was getting pretty good at now.
“Yes, it’s me. I decided it was time to come back to Boise.”
She didn’t know how much that meant to him. He’d gone out of his mind the last three months while she’d been gone.
“So what are you up to?” she asked.
“I thought Willow should get some exercise in the park,” said Luc.
“You mind if I walk with you? I could do with some exercise.”
“Sure, we’d both love the company.”
He heard the car engine die, followed by the car door slamming. And then came the smell of her perfume.
“Willow, walk,” he said as they set off down the road again. “So, are you doing okay?”
“Yep, the morning sickness finally stopped but my blood pressure’s on the high side.”
“It’s not pre-eclampsia, is it?”
“Pre-what?”
“I had Josie bring me some audio books on pregnancy.”
“I don’t think so.”
“And cat litter. You haven’t been changing any cat litter, have you?”
“No, I’ve been answering phones and making appointments.”
“Good, because there’s so much out there that can hurt babies.”
Willow barked, signaling they were at the park.
“The baby’s fine. In fact, it moved for the first time yesterday morning.”
Luc lifted his hand and as if she knew what he wanted, she took it and set it on her belly. Wow, she was already big and round. He ran his hand over it. His son or daughter was in there.
“You want me to give Willow a good run?”
“I think he’d appreciate it. I have his ball here in the bag.”
Luc unzipped the pouch he had tied around his waist and took out the tennis ball and held it out to her.
“We’ll be over here if you want to sit and sunbathe.”