The Moon Rises (Gigi Monroe)

by Angela Horn

  Finn smiled softly. “I’m no great guy, Gigi. I shouldn’t be hanging around you, but I’m selfish and I really want to see you.”

  “Because I’m beautiful?”

  “And you’re sweet, funny, and interesting. When you look at me, I feel special just because you care I exist. Those aren’t such great reasons, I know.”

  “I want to be sweet, funny, and interesting though. Most people just say I’m weird. I know interesting can mean the same thing, but I like it better.”

  Finn grinned. “There’s nothing wrong with being weird. Mike’s weird and he doesn’t even try to be normal. You read dictionaries and fake your way through conversations just so you can fit in. Mike refuses to say hello and goodbye, even when he’s done talking on the phone. I’ll just hear a click and eventually a dial tone. Yet I dig Mike. He’s funny when he actually talks and he’s loyal to those few people he actually tolerates. You’re one of those people which is a testament to your greatness. He has very high standards after all.”

  Gigi laughed. “He likes you too, so I guess that means we’re both great.”

  “Oh, yeah, we’re the cream of the crop.”

  When Gigi reached out and caressed his hand, Finn took an unsteady breath. Realizing she did something wrong, Gigi pulled her hand away.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “I really care about you and staying away is hard. I wish you would react to a stalker the way most females do and tell me to leave you alone.”

  “I don’t want you to leave me alone.”

  “Which is why I keep hanging around. I’m too selfish to do the right thing.”

  Frowning, Gigi stood up and put away the containers of food then took Finn’s empty plate. He looked depressed, but distracted himself by playing with the kittens who decided since he gave them meat, he was a nice predator. Gigi picked up Saturn and walked to the couch. The other kittens were focused on Finn who laughed when they attacked him in an organized fashion. Finally he joined Gigi on the couch with the kittens following him.

  “I think it’s cool how animals like you.”

  “Maybe that’s why you like me? You are a dog.”

  Finn frowned until he realized she was teasing him then a smile lit up his face.

  “When that monster hurt you, Mike got upset and shifted into a wolf. He always does that when he’s upset and I thought about shifting too because it’s relaxing. Yet even when he’s depressed, Mike tends to dominate other wolves. It’s weird how in human form he ignores other Weres, but in wolf form, he finds it hilarious to pee on everyone.”

  Gigi started laughing when she thought Finn was kidding. When she realized he wasn’t, she laughed even harder.

  “Do you want to shift right now?” Gigi asked when she stopped giggling. “I could brush you like my neighbor does with her dog.”

  Now Finn started laughing. “I could use a good brushing, I suppose.”

  “Where does all the hair go when you’re in your human form?” Gigi asked, running her fingers over his arm which was lined with very fair hair. “Are you a blond dog?”

  “Actually I’m white like Declan and my mom. Her bloodline runs back to Arctic wolves.”

  “Ooh, shift so I can see.”

  Finn looked uneasy. “I’m not sure.”

  “Why?”

  “I don’t usually shift in front of people.”

  “Oh,” Gigi said then took his hand. “You’re shy.”

  “Very,” Finn whispered with a wink.

  “Well when you come back and I make you dinner, you’ll be ready to shift then.”

  Finn watched her and she knew he was thinking of all the reasons to tell her no. She was thinking of them too, but hers had nothing to do with the threats. She was thinking about her feelings for Simon – who she couldn’t have – and Anton – who didn’t want her – and maybe even Declan – who she mostly just wanted to rub up against.

  None of the reasons would have mattered though if Gigi hadn’t thought Finn was going to eat her weeks earlier. They would have gone on another date and then when he felt like he had to stop dating her, she would have convinced him to sneak around like he was now. They would have been together, if she weren’t so stupid. She didn’t feel as stupid anymore and she wasn’t letting him go.

  Sitting on her knees, Gigi scooted forward and pressed his hand softly against her chest, hoping he could feel how fast her heart was beating. She thought about how in the hallway, a few yards from where they now sat, he had kissed her – her first kiss. It was soft like a cool breeze. It felt so good and he only stopped because she made him. Anton and Declan and Simon wanted her, but not enough. She had to know if Finn wanted her enough.

  “You can wear your hat and hoodie and sneak here like you did tonight. You can keep us a secret. I was willing to sneak around for Anton, but it wasn’t good enough for him. I was willing to wait for Simon, but he needs me to be a Vamp for him to love me. Your brother is just a tease. I know you like me and want to be with me. I know you’re scared, but things keep trying to kill me and I’m still alive. I want you to come back and let me make you dinner. I want you to kiss me and I want you to lick my neck because I understand now how you aren’t trying to eat me.”

  Both of them laughed and Gigi slid closer. “It felt really good.”

  “Right until you thought I was testing out my food?”

  Gigi smiled. “I know stuff now. Not a lot of stuff, but enough. I wish I hadn’t pushed you away that night. I was being the tease.”

  “No, not really. I pushed too hard and now I’m putting you in danger.”

  “You’re too negative, Finn. Relax.”

  Finn grinned slightly. “Maybe you should wait to see why Anton bailed?”

  “Anton doesn’t care,” Gigi said, feeling a stab of pain from his rejection. “Besides you kissed me first and I want you to kiss me again.”

  Gigi leaned forward so her lips were close to Finn’s and waited to see what he would do. His lips were tentative at first, just brushing against hers. Gigi leaned across his lap and put her arms around his neck and waited again.

  Once Finn’s hands slid against her face, he pulled her closer, gently, still seeming nervous. No matter his uncertainty, Finn’s soft kisses were filled with heat. By the time his tongue teased against her lips, Gigi was already moaning as she pulled him closer.

  Every nerve in her body was alive with need and Finn could have anything he wanted as long as he didn’t stop. Like every male before him, he did stop though.

  “Fucking blue balls,” Gigi hissed and the kittens meowed.

  Finn laughed while looking a bit nervous with her irritation.

  “Gigi…”

  “No. I don’t want you to stop.”

  Finn started to kiss her again then shook his head and forced his mouth away from hers.

  “Not tonight.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you wanted Anton and he hurt you and you need time to clear out your feelings for him.”

  Gigi climbed off his lap and sat at the edge of the couch. Frowning, she blew hair from her eyes.

  “You Weres are teases.”

  Finn smiled softly as he took her hand. “I would love for you to cook dinner, if the offer is still open?”

  Gigi eyed him, unsure if he was still teasing, but there was certainty in his eyes.

  “Instead of playing poker tomorrow, will you come over for dinner? We can ditch Mike with Ella.”

  Finn’s smile brightened. “Serves him right for hanging up on me all the time.”

  Laughing, Gigi moved closer. “I’m sorry I got mad. I get frustrated by all the teasing. I want someone to want me enough not to push me away.”

  “I know and I don’t want to push you away, but I also don’t want to take advantage of you. Anton is special and you need to get him out of your system enough for you to really want me.”

  “I do want you.”

  “Well after you deal with him, maybe you’ll just wan
t me.”

  “Yeah, I’m a bit of whore, I guess.”

  Finn rolled his eyes. “Whores get more action, I think.”

  Gigi laughed, surprised by Finn’s naughty comment. She was spending too much time with Declan and Michael who viewed the younger Were as just a dorky kid. He wasn’t looking like a kid as he sat on the couch with his tee ruffled from Gigi’s lustful hands. She hoped to get his shirt off tomorrow night, but she wouldn’t bet money on it – not with the way Weres teased.

  Chapter Thirty Nine

  Anton felt strange the moment he chose to leave his apartment and head down to The Moon Rises. He ached for Gigi - literally hurt when he thought of her somewhere without him. He wanted to see her, touch her, and hear her voice. He wanted her to look at him with those big brown eyes. He needed her with every breath he took, yet he walked out of the apartment knowing she would be confused and hurt by his absence.

  Roger was back in town and his reason for leaving had joined him at the club for dinner. Anton and Declan both arrived to check out the third Alpha’s secret weapon. While he was a mystery to most in the Circle, apparently Kyle was on good terms with Silas who sat next to him with a smile he rarely used for other customers.

  Kyle was some kind of assassin. He looked in his late twenties, but was respected enough for Roger to court him for nearly a month. The pack seemed thrilled to have their Alpha back and even more thrilled to have their secret weapon. While Anton sensed a stronger vibe from Kyle than from any other Were he had ever met, this was the extent of what he learned from his evening at the club. Whatever Kyle’s great talents, they weren’t apparent by just looking at him.

  Anton wished he hadn’t bailed on his date with Gigi – the one female who made him consider walking away from being Alpha – so he could sit in the club for a few hours and make small talk with males who had nothing to say. Whenever anyone spoke to him, Kyle only nodded as uninterested in small talk as Anton. For this anticlimactic evening, Anton gave up time with Gigi.

  Even the next day when Anton ran his errands and headed to the office, he still felt strange as if realizing he had stood up Gigi for a reason beyond Roger’s return. Maybe he just didn’t want to get too attached to someone he couldn’t have so he walked away before he got in too deep? Yet if Roger had not shown up, Anton suffered no doubt he would have woken up that morning next to Gigi and he would have woken up happy.

  No one looked up when Anton entered the office. Gigi was filing paperwork while Melanie sat organizing files at her desk. Even the guys were working hard with no goofing around. When Anton asked if he had any messages, Melanie finally glanced up and shook her head. His assistant didn’t seem angry specifically, just grumpy. Everyone was grumpy, he noticed. Even Gigi who was staring hard at the papers she was filing.

  Anton thought to talk to Gigi later, when they might have more privacy, but he didn’t know when he would see her again.

  “Gigi, can you come to my office for a minute?” he whispered over her shoulder.

  “I’m filing,” she said in a quiet voice without looking at him.

  “Please.”

  Gigi set the papers down then walked past him. Her eyes remained on the ground as she headed to the office. Shutting the door, Anton leaned against the desk and tried to think of how to make things right.

  “I tried to call you, but the number I have for you had been disconnected.”

  “My phone was broken when the monster tried to kill me. I just got a new one.”

  Anton nodded, remembering how Gigi looked in the alley and what he told her when he thought she would be gone from his life.

  “I’m sorry about last night,” Anton said, trying to catch her gaze, but her eyes avoided him.

  “Did you change your mind?”

  “No,” he said, taking her hand softly in his. “I wanted to see you last night, but Roger came back into town and I had to deal with him immediately. I did try to call you.”

  “Okay.”

  “I would have left a note, but there are nosy Weres in my building and they would have spread rumors about us. If people thought I wanted a mate, they would view me as weak and it would put us both in danger.”

  When Gigi’s eyes finally met his, they were filled with such sadness that Anton looked away.

  “Did you know when you invited me over that we wouldn’t be together?”

  “Of course not,” Anton said in barely more than a whisper. “I never would have invited you, if I knew I would have to leave like that.”

  “That’s not what I mean. I thought because not having a mate was a choice the Alphas made that when you invited me over you were making another choice, but you knew when you invited me how we wouldn’t be together.”

  “I want to be with you.”

  “Yes, for sex, but you knew you would dump me afterward. I didn’t know that. I thought something else was happening with us.”

  Anton wasn’t sure what he was saying to make her think he only wanted to sleep with her, but Gigi was fading away even as she stood very still in front of him, her hand limp in his.

  “It’s not like that. I do care about you and I wanted to be there last night.”

  “I know you told me Alphas don’t have mates and Sara,” Gigi said as her eyes grew wet and she sucked on her lower lip. “Sara said Alphas think of females as stuff, but I didn’t listen. I thought you invited me over because you wanted to be with me.”

  “I do.”

  “For the sex, but then you were going to dump me,” Gigi said in a tiny rough voice as she tried not to cry. “I didn’t understand that. I wouldn’t have said yes, if I knew you were going to dump me.”

  Anton caressed her hand as he tried to find the words to change the momentum of this conversation. “I wasn’t going to sleep with you then dump you. I know I messed up last night, but you’re not stuff to me.”

  “But you knew you were never going to stay with me and I think you also knew how I didn’t understand that. You knew I would be giving you my virginity and thinking it meant something, but it wouldn’t. You don’t want a mate.”

  Anton touched her face and began to panic as he felt her pulling away and closing off her heart from him.

  “I can’t have a mate.”

  “It’s a choice and I thought you were choosing different. I just didn’t understand. I thought you wanted me for more than sex because of what you said in the alley. I didn’t understand.”

  Anton remembered what he told her and the panic he felt when he thought she would die. He felt the same panic now.

  “I meant what I said in the alley.”

  Gigi’s expression made her look like a rejected child. The corners of her mouth were turned down into a heartbroken frown. Her eyes wouldn’t hold his gaze. She sucked on her lower lip as a tear escaped her wet eyes.

  “Maybe I didn’t understand that right either. I thought it meant something it didn’t. Why would you say those things when you didn’t know me?”

  “I knew you.”

  “Not really. Why would you say that to me?”

  “Because,” Anton said, looking for the right words and just finding words – panicked rambling words. “You know what my first thought was when I saw you that night at the club? My first thought was how I wanted a family. It was the strangest thing, but I saw you and it just hit me how I wanted a wife. I hadn’t thought about it for years. There you were and I wanted it again.”

  Gigi’s eyes met his and Anton sensed he said something wrong again.

  “It was never me?”

  Anton shook his head, not understanding now.

  “You saw me and I made you feel a certain way, but you’ve only liked me because of that feeling, not because of me. It was never me.”

  “No,” Anton said in a ragged breath as he realized he was losing her. She wasn’t his to begin with, but he kept hoping she could be. He felt her leaving him now. “You are special.”

  “But you were going to dump me.”


  “No, I want to be with you.”

  “For a little bit because you want to have sex with me. You never planned to keep me though because it wasn’t me you loved, but the life you can’t have. The life you choose not to have. I didn’t understand that. I was stupid and didn’t understand. I thought…”

  Gigi was crying now and Anton tried to hold her, but she squirmed away and wiped at her eyes.

  “I always liked you because you were beautiful, but you also seemed really nice too. You listened to me and were gentle with me and I thought you were lonely like me. I thought we were supposed to be together, so we wouldn’t be lonely anymore. I was stupid. You just wanted me like Declan wants me. You just wanted to fuck me.”

  Anton stood there and realized he had invited her over with the intention of sleeping with her and having her around for a while until their relationship became public and he was forced to choose. Maybe he would have left his pack and married Gigi, but most likely he wouldn’t have. Most likely he would have abandoned her and broken her heart.

  Anton hadn’t let himself consider things that far out because he didn’t want to think of losing her. If he was honest, he always knew he would keep her until he couldn’t keep her anymore. He would then walk away like he had with every female before her. Anton didn’t know how to do anything other than walk away.

  “I’m sorry,” he said.

  “I know I’m not smart, but you knew that too. I think if you were honorable like I thought you were then you wouldn’t have wanted to trick me. I was stupid to trust you, but you were mean to let me trust you. Declan never said those things like you said in the alley. He never pretended. When he kissed me, he never acted like it meant anything. He knew I was stupid and he didn’t trick me. You tricked me and I believed you because you were special and I cared about you. I liked you, but I don’t anymore.”

  Anton should have let Gigi go, but he stopped her before she opened the door. Turning her face to his, he wished he had stayed home the night before and let himself be weak. Maybe if he was weak once, he could continue being weak and end up with Gigi forever. Instead Anton walked away from his chance at happiness, willfully abandoning the life he really wanted.