The Moon Rises (Gigi Monroe)

by Angela Horn

  “Were you there the night the monster attacked Justine and Gigi?”

  Studying the menu, Anton nodded. “Weirdest shit I’ve ever seen. I saw one of them the night she got hurt, but this one was alive and flying. Crazy.”

  Dullness lingered over Anton’s tone and Finn again wondered why his friend seemed so depressed. Remembering how Anton stood up Gigi, Finn wondered if maybe the Alpha was losing it.

  Anton had always been a little off and Finn figured it was because Olga Volkov was always more interested in being a fear enforcer than a mother. After her death, during all those years as a kid with only his uncles who had no use for childrearing, Anton relied on Declan and Finn to be his family. Then he lost Declan. For almost eight years, besides Finn, Anton was alone. Many times Finn felt on edge and isolated in the Circle, not part of the pack, yet not really his own male.

  Anton felt alone too, but with the extra burden of being in charge while also being unable to have a family. Finn always assumed Anton would crack under the pressure and decide to get married and take his chances. It instead looked like Anton was just cracking period.

  “Have you seen Gigi lately?” Anton asked, after ordering.

  “Yes, we play cards with Michael and Ella.”

  Anton nodded. “She changed her shifts to earlier in the evening and I haven’t seen her in days,” he said, sounding incredibly tired. “And I think she only comes into the office when Melanie tells her I’m out. I haven’t seen her since the night the monster attacked her.”

  “She seems fine,” Finn said awkwardly. “I think she was excited about killing the monster and she still hopes to find Sara.”

  Anton nodded with a tight, incredibly fake smile. “I’m glad she’s okay.”

  “I know you stood her up,” Finn blurted out, hating to say the words because he was conflicted between his love for the girl of his dreams and the love he felt for a guy who was a big brother to him all his life. “She can’t hold a grudge long, Anton. It’s not Gigi’s way.”

  Anton eyed Finn. “She told you that?”

  “We’re friends.”

  “You wanted her though. You went on a date.”

  “Yeah.”

  “But now you’re just over her?”

  Finn hated to lie, especially to Anton and Declan. He didn’t even think he could successfully lie to them. He would try though because losing Gigi wasn’t an option.

  “No, not over her. I just can’t be with her romantically, so I spend time with her as a friend and wish it was more. It can feel stupid obsessing over her, but letting her go emotionally is impossible. She’s special.”

  Anton nodded. “That’s why I want to marry her.”

  Finn flinched, suddenly wanting to leave the restaurant and run home to Gigi. No, even more, he wanted to hide away with Gigi and keep her from being in the same room with Anton who was acting weird and lonely and desperate.

  “What about the whole Alphas don’t have mates thing?”

  “Fuck it. I want to marry her which is why I stood her up. I wasn’t ready to take that leap.”

  “Then why ask her out in the first place?”

  “Because everyone wants her and I was worried someone would take her before I was ready. I thought I could just move slowly. Go on some dates and court her for a while, then after I was sure what would happen with the war, I could make things permanent. The night of our date though I knew I was fooling myself. I wouldn’t let her go once she was in my bed. I’d keep her and marry her without even knowing if I’d be alive in six months. I would have jumped right in though, so instead I bailed.”

  “I guess you made the right decision then.”

  Anton looked at him and panic again stabbed at Finn’s heart.

  “No, I didn’t.”

  “I know she’s special, but the war’s coming. If something happened to you, it would kill her. She’s not strong enough to handle losing someone she loves. I told her Sara might be alive and I think that’s the only reason she gets out of bed each day. The idea of Sara being gone for good was too much. If she was with you and you died, she wouldn’t know how to cope.”

  Anton sighed and Finn was struck by how exhausted his old friend sounded.

  “I would give up my pack for her.”

  Maybe it was the fear of losing Gigi to Anton or maybe he really was the voice of reason, but Finn refused to let the Alpha walk away from everything he had worked for all these years.

  “You would leave your pack right before a war? The witches have an alliance with you. Who would protect the pack if you left?”

  Anton frowned. “I wouldn’t just walk away. I would hand off the pack to Declan. My pack will end up in his hands anyway, but only after who knows how many of them are killed in the war. This way my people live and I can have the life I want.”

  “And you think everyone would just let you live your life here in the Circle? Alphas don’t just walk away from their packs. When Silas wanted out, he had to leave his home and come here to be free. Gigi can’t leave the Circle. It’s part of the rules in her head.”

  “Then we live in the Circle and just deal with the consequences of me leaving the pack,” Anton said casually as if it were a done deal.

  Finn nodded, feeling defeated as his mind played out the scenario where Anton showed up at Gigi’s apartment, declared his love and intentions, and the two of them walked off into the sunset. Finn couldn’t compete with Anton. Even after the Alpha stood up Gigi and Finn spent the last week courting her. Even after Finn told Gigi he loved her and she said she loved him too. No matter what Gigi and Finn shared, she would walk away if she could have Anton.

  “Well good luck,” Finn said quietly.

  “You should be happy I don’t plan to go to war with Declan.”

  “I am.”

  Anton frowned. “You still want her.”

  Finn nodded while considering putting his cards out and just asking Anton to back off. The desperation on the Alpha’s face said he wouldn’t walk away from Gigi though, not even if Finn begged. If he would give up his pack for Gigi, he would give up anything.

  Anton’s gaze found Finn’s and held it. “I’m sorry, but it has to be Gigi. No one else has ever made me feel this way.”

  “I understand,” Finn said and he did understand.

  Anton sat back, ignoring his food. “You probably deserve her more than I do, but since I met her, nothing else matters. When she’s around me, I’m happy and I crave the happiness now. I can’t be miserable anymore so I have to keep hoping for another chance with her because I’m not sure how I get out of bed otherwise.”

  “Is it really that bad?”

  The Alpha stared hard at the ceiling then returned his gaze to Finn. “I spend my days worrying over losing a block of territory here or there. I worry about if someone I trust will kill me so they can be Alpha. I have to look at Declan and hate him because not hating him puts me at risk. I spend every day in the office with Melanie watching her bump get bigger and thinking about how I’ll never have a child of my own. I never wanted this life. Declan did. If I hadn’t been so competitive and determined to prove myself my mother’s son, maybe I would have ended up one of Declan’s lieutenants, instead of his enemy. I could have had a family. Instead I just have the hope that a girl I barely know and who’ve I already hurt will give me another shot. I guess I am my mother’s son. She wasn’t much of a thinker either. Just ran towards a fight and worried about the consequences later. She ended up dead for nothing and I sense I’m heading that direction too.”

  Finn thought to his father and how his death had meant nothing. Did any of the deaths in the pack wars really matter? The only deaths anyone spoke of were the Alpha’s family because it explained why new Alphas were forced to be alone until their deaths in some other pointless way. Finn hated the Circle and wished he could just leave. Part of him had even planned to go before the next war, rather than watching his brother kill Anton.

  Somehow Finn always underst
ood how his brother wasn’t necessarily physically stronger than Anton as much as emotionally tougher and this strength would lead to his triumph. Declan could survive killing Anton in a way Anton couldn’t survive killing Declan.

  On the other hand, after Declan won the Circle, having killed his best friend, it was unlikely the Alpha would have much to live for anymore. No wife, no kids, no one to trust – Declan would sit around waiting for someone to take from him what he took from others. Maybe Ainsley thought this was enough for her son, but it was likely Declan wouldn’t live a life much longer than Anton’s.

  Finn wanted to leave the Circle, had wanted to leave for years, but he stayed in the past out of laziness and fear of the unknown. Now he stayed for Gigi, but soon she would leave him for Anton. The certainty of this fact made his food taste sour and he just wanted to leave the restaurant.

  “I’m sorry I’m being a downer,” Anton said as he picked at his food.

  “It’s fine. I just didn’t know you felt this way.”

  “It was easier before I met Gigi. I really didn’t think about what I couldn’t have, but then I saw her and I remembered all the stuff I wanted years ago. When I told her that, Gigi thought I was saying my feelings weren’t about her. She thought I just looked at her and thought she would fit, but it’s only her who fits. She doesn’t get it, but you do. I know you and picking up girls at the grocery store isn’t your M.O. You made an exception for Gigi. She’s special and she can’t see that, but we can. Once I met her, I haven’t been able to shake how pointless my life has become. My days consist of catching glimpses of Gigi and waiting for your brother to kill me.”

  Finn nodded. “If she’s avoiding you, what’s your plan? Just wait until she forgives you and ask her out again?”

  Anton frowned and studied Finn. In that moment, Finn thought Anton had things figured out.

  “Have you thought about asking her out even with Ainsley making threats?”

  Finn nodded. “You remember Tess. I worry about Gigi getting hurt in the same way.”

  “Your mom does have friends in the pack who would do her dirty work.”

  Sighing, Finn pushed away his plate. “I want Gigi to be happy. If I thought I could make her happy, I would try building something with her, but I’m not sure I’m the guy for her.”

  Finn already felt like he had lost Gigi. No matter how good Gigi was for his ego, Finn didn’t even know how to compete with Anton. Finn was just a guy, but there was a reason Anton was an Alpha. When Finn entered a room, he might get a few glances from girls, but everyone noticed Anton. Women left men for Anton and Gigi would leave Finn.

  “But you still hope to get another chance,” Anton said and there was something edgy to his voice.

  Finn was rarely challenged himself, but he saw plenty of guys challenge Declan and Anton over the years. He knew the look on their faces and the threatening tones they used. Anton was utilizing both as he watched Finn. It wasn’t overtly hostile and Anton might not being trying to threaten his friend over a girl they both wanted. He was just desperate to find love and Finn might stand in his way. This possible obstacle brought out the Alpha in Anton.

  “Of course I’d like to be with her, but Gigi is female. If she has to choose between us, she’ll choose what any female would choose. I’m not twelve, Anton. I understand the score. You can put your Alpha crap in neutral, okay?”

  Anton swallowed hard and frowned. “Sorry. I just need her. I wish I could be cool about her loving someone else, but she’s my only chance at being happy. Whatever you think, you have other options.”

  Finn wanted to resent him, but clearly his friend was insane, if he thought Finn’s dating options were more varied than Anton’s. It was almost comical, but Finn wasn’t laughing. He was looking at his closest friend and the one male who would take Gigi away.

  “I’m not hungry,” Finn said and stood up. “I’ll see you next week.”

  “Wait,” Anton whispered, standing quickly. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to be a dick, but you’re the only one I can talk to about this. My guys would see any weakness as a chance to fuck me over. Melanie teases me about Gigi then turns around and tells me I’m stupid for wasting my time on some girl with weird blood. I wasn’t trying to make you feel threatened or anything. I just started talking and lost track of myself. I’m sorry.”

  Finn hated Anton a little for taking Gigi away, but the guy was essentially begging him not to leave. Sitting back down, Finn sighed.

  “It’s not easy being the younger brother of someone like Declan. Losing out to you isn’t a pleasure either.”

  “Did you really plan to ask her out again?”

  “I don’t know, but I liked having the option. It doesn’t matter, I guess. Gigi has to make a decision about what makes her happy and I wasn’t bullshitting when I said how her being happy mattered to me. If she wants you, then I hope you guys end up together.”

  Anton nodded, but he seemed uneasy now, as if afraid his honesty had lost him his only friend. Finn forced a smile on his face and tried not to seem like his heart was about to be torn out. Anton was a good male and Gigi would be happy with him.

  The rest of the dinner was tense and awkward. Neither male had anything important to share after the honesty portion of their dinner went so badly. Instead they talked about work and Michael’s odd habits. Once they ate enough and spent enough time together to call it a dinner, both males hurried away, unhappy for the same and different reasons.

  Finn arrived at his apartment and considered staying home, but he missed Gigi and had planned to see her all day. Giving up time with her seemed stupid, so he walked the four blocks through the canals from his place to her apartment.

  Unhappiness clung to Finn as Gigi opened her door and grinned at him. Yet no matter how long they had together, at that moment, she clearly loved him.

  “You came,” she cooed and pulled him inside. “How was dinner?”

  Finn shrugged as he stepped into the apartment. The pastel décor soothed him even though he sometimes felt like he was dating a little girl. Gigi wasn’t a child though, not with the naughty expression on her face as she tugged at his shirt.

  “You cooked?” Finn asked, trying to enjoy what time they had left.

  “Jambalaya. It’s almost done. I hoped you’d come.”

  Finn smiled and greeted the cats who rushed over to meow at him. When he looked back at Gigi, her big brown eyes were unhappy.

  “You’re leaving me,” she whimpered.

  “Why would you think that?”

  “You haven’t kissed me. You act like you want to leave.”

  If she let him, Finn would stay with Gigi forever. Yet her heart belonged to someone else.

  “I love you,” Finn said, but he heard the sadness in his own voice.

  “You’re leaving.”

  “No.”

  “Then why are you acting weird? Did you have a bad dinner?”

  “Anton still wants you,” Finn said and watched as her face showed no reaction. On anyone else this might have been a reassuring sign, but Gigi rarely showed all her cards with facial expressions. It was why she was so good at poker. “If he hadn’t stood you up, you and I wouldn’t be together.”

  Gigi frowned darkly. “You want to leave me.”

  “No, I don’t,” he said too strongly. “I want to marry you and have children with you and grow old with you. I want those things, but Anton wants you.”

  “So? Everyone wants me.”

  “But you want him too.”

  “So? I want everyone,” Gigi said then added when Finn scowled, “When I see Declan at the gym and he’s all sweaty, I want him. When Simon flirts with me, I want him. When I see Tobin care for his children, I want him. When Nolan smiles at me, I want him. I even want Kyle who doesn’t like me. I want them all, but I thought I got to choose. Don’t I get to choose?”

  Gigi seemed genuinely confused about relationship rules.

  “Of course you get to choose. You c
an have any male. No matter their rules or families or whatever, you get to choose.”

  “Then I choose you.”

  “Gigi…”

  “Why do you want to leave?”

  “I don’t. I just want you to have everything. I want you to be happy and safe and you’d be happier and safer with Anton.”

  Finn knew his words weren’t completely true. If Anton walked away from his pack and remained in the Circle, he would be under threat and Gigi was already a target. Still Anton was an Alpha for a reason and he would kill to protect his wife. Finn would too, but he couldn’t win battles like Anton could.

  Gigi thrust her lower lip into a pout and walked away from him. “You don’t want me. Why don’t you want me? Did I do something wrong?”

  Now crying, Gigi sat on the couch and stared hard at the wall. Finn joined her.

  “I want you more than anything.”

  “Then why are you pushing me off on Anton?”

  “Because he wants you and I know you want him.”

  “But I want you more. He hurt me and you make me happy. Why can’t I choose?”

  Finn glanced at the kittens who were watching their crying owner with concern.

  “Tell the kitties you’re okay. Otherwise they might hurt me for making you cry.”

  Gigi frowned at him then realized he was teasing her and smiled.

  “I’m happy, kitties.”

  The cats ran at her, jumping on the couch and finding spots on both Gigi and Finn. Earth ended up on Finn’s shoulder, nuzzling his hair while purring.

  “He really likes your hair,” Gigi said, trying to smile.

  “It’s my shampoo, I think.”

  Smile gone, Gigi frowned darkly at him then suddenly reached over and flicked him hard on the ear. Finn flinched, startled by her temper. He hadn’t seen her in this bad a mood since he told her no to sex and she claimed blue balls.

  “You’re blind,” Gigi grumbled. “You live in this place and you can only see how others see you, but you’re not just Declan’s brother. Anywhere else, you’d be special. You are so stupid.”