Heaven's Queen

by Rachel Bach

  Both Anthony and Rupert jumped back at the blast, and I took my opening, elbowing my way between them before the smoke had a chance to clear. “Show’s over,” I snarled, putting my hands on their chests so that I was a brace between them. “Anthony, back the hell off. Rupert, stand down.”

  Rupert obeyed at once, stepping back. Anthony, however, got right in my face. “What the hell are you doing?” he shouted. “Get out of here!”

  “No,” I said, whirling to face him. “I don’t take orders from you. But if you want to fight someone, fight me. I’m the one you came out here for.”

  Anthony’s face went scarlet and he leaned in, looming over me. But though he was dressed in several hundred pounds of advanced Paradoxian engineering and I didn’t even have a proper shirt on, I held my ground, glaring straight into his eyes like I was just waiting for him to give me an excuse.

  Stupid as it seems sometimes, dominance is an animal game, and it was one I played very well. I’d learned a long time ago that it doesn’t matter if the other person can technically kick your ass all day long so long as you can make them doubt. I had an edge with Anthony, too, because we had history together. He knew exactly what I was capable of in armor and out, and though he had every advantage in our current situation, he was the one who dropped his eyes and backed away, retreating toward the door. I would have glared him right out of the room if Rupert hadn’t chosen that moment to butt in.

  “I believe this is over, Captain Pierce,” he said calmly, speaking Universal now, like he was putting the whole situation back on his terms. “You will remove yourself and your men from this house. We’ll be out in fifteen minutes. Have your ship ready for us by then and I won’t report your insubordination.”

  Anthony blinked at Rupert’s voice like a man waking up from a spell, and then his mouth pulled up in a sneer. Whatever he was about to say, though, he didn’t get a chance, because Rupert cut him off. “You’re very young to be a captain in the Home Guard,” he said, his voice smooth and sharp as a knife. “I would hate to ruin such a promising career.”

  Anthony looked so livid I thought he was going to try another swing. But pissed as he was, he was still a soldier, and he knew when he was beaten. He threw his broken sword on the ground with a curse and stepped back, putting his hands up in surrender.

  “Thank you, Captain,” Rupert said, sliding his arms around my waist from behind. “We are much obliged.”

  The words were unfailingly polite, but Rupert’s message was aggressive and clear, especially when he leaned down to press a kiss against my hair, keeping his eyes on Anthony the whole time. I wanted nothing more than to plant an elbow in his stomach for goading the poor man with such a blatant display, but it was important to present a unified front until the enemy was fully routed. Also, it would have killed my elbow.

  I did pull out of Rupert’s hold, though, stomping toward the living room door. I stopped when I was right next to Anthony. “We need to talk,” I said, glancing pointedly over my shoulder at Rupert. “Alone. Give me a moment and I’ll meet you outside.”

  Anthony didn’t look happy, Rupert even less so, but neither of them dictated to me, so I didn’t stick around to hear their opinions. I just stepped over Anthony’s downed guard and stomped up the stairs to the bathroom, slamming the door behind me.

  My hands were pitch-black by the time I reached the sink.

  The sight of the virus I’d pulled up with my rage only made me angrier, because I didn’t want to calm down. If anything deserved my anger, it was this shit. Anthony barging in and ordering me around like I was one of his Home Guard rookies was bad enough, but Rupert’s little possessive display was the absolute last straw. He might be the one with the authority, he might even be on my side like he claimed, but neither of those gave him the right to call the shots with my life.

  But as much as I wanted to be furious, deserved to be furious, I couldn’t be, because the black stuff was spreading before my eyes. It was over my elbows now, working its way up my biceps toward the edge of my tank top. But while the stuff wasn’t spreading nearly as fast as it had back on the xith’cal ship, it wasn’t stopping either, which meant I needed to get a goddamn grip before I died in a bathroom from my own stupidity.

  With that grim resolution, I sat down on the edge of the tub and held my stained arms out in front of me. The sight got my fear going nicely, and the resulting chill helped me rein in my temper. Even so, it took an embarrassingly long time before I calmed down enough to stop the virus’s spread, halting the black stuff just before it crested my shoulders.

  I let out a frustrated breath. Forget the lelgis, this was going to be the death of me. It’d be fitting, too. My mother had always said my temper would get me killed. Of course, she’d been talking about picking fights with bigger kids, but the idea still stood, and I hated it. From my earliest memories, my rage had been my ally, my power, the strength I could draw on when everything else was gone. Now it was working against me, and I felt like I’d just gotten stabbed in the back by my lifelong partner.

  That thought made me angry all over again, sending the black stuff over my shoulders before I could stop it again. By this point, my resentment over the whole situation was so deep I was shaking. It was just so unfair. I couldn’t even be angry that I couldn’t be angry. The goddamn virus had me by the throat, and unless I either got rid of it or learned to control it, I’d be its slave forever.

  Strange as it sounded, that was the thought that actually gave me hope. If there was one thing rooted more deeply in me than my temper, it was my autonomy. I obeyed two authorities: my officers and my king. I was a loyal subject and a good soldier, but I was no one’s slave, and like hell was I going to let this virus make me one. It was just like what my first armor coach had said back home when she’d taught us how to use our suits’ engines: if you don’t control the power, it ends up controlling you. I’d mastered my armor that same year, and I would master this, too.

  With that, I turned my focus inward, concentrating as hard as I could—not on controlling my anger, but on mastering my response. I could beat this. I would beat this. This virus was my prisoner, not the other way around. And as that resolution settled into my bones, the tingling in my arms began to fade.

  I looked down to see the mark receding, the blackness vanishing from my skin like an ink spill in reverse. When the final traces disappeared from my fingers, I stood up, grinning like a madwoman as I shook my hands to get rid of the last of the pins and needles.

  Considering how close I’d just come to dying, you’d have thought I’d be feeling pretty depressed about all this. But now that it was over, this incident actually made me more positive about the virus than I’d been since Maat had first predicted I’d kill myself through my own lack of control. I hadn’t been able to make much of an argument at the time because she’d been pretty much right. Now, though, things were different.

  It had taken me far too long and way too much thinking, but the fact remained that I’d turned that black shit around, and I’d done it without cheating and finding a new outlet for my anger or getting distracted away from my rage. I’d beaten it back all by myself, on my own power, and if I could do it once, I could do it again. All it would take was practice, dedication, and work, and unlike plasmex, those were all things I understood just fine.

  But though I was riding high on my victory, I had a bigger challenge coming. Namely, I had to go back downstairs and confront Anthony without turning myself inky again. I actually considered chickening out and skipping it, but even though I hadn’t asked him to, the truth was that Anthony had come all this way out of care for me. He didn’t deserve my obedience, but he did deserve an explanation, and like hell was I going to cheat him out of one because I was scared of my virus.

  With this in mind, I spent the two minutes it took to clean and bandage the hand I’d burned on Rupert’s disrupter pistol trying to see things from Anthony’s perspective.

  It wasn’t as hard as you’d thi
nk. Despite our present situation, Anthony was one of my oldest and dearest friends. Not counting the time I’d lost in hyperspace, we’d been seeing each other regularly since my second year in the army, which meant he was probably the closest thing I’d ever had to an actual boyfriend. We’d never put a name on our arrangement, and we’d both taken plenty of other lovers, but he’d always been the first person I called when I came home. Seeing that, I could understand why—after thinking I was dead for months and then flying all the way out here on a rumor that I might not be—finding me almost kissing another man would have sent Anthony over the edge. Not that it excused him attacking Rupert or ignoring the king’s Warrant, but I could at least see where he was coming from. That understanding helped me maintain my cool as I tied the bandage tight around my hand and walked out of the bathroom to face the music.

  I didn’t see anyone when I went downstairs. I did notice that Rupert had cleaned out the house, though. The bedroom was stripped and the kitchen was spotless, everything put back in its place. A little looking turned up Anthony’s guards standing out front, staring down the road toward their ship.

  Now that I saw it, I couldn’t believe I hadn’t heard the thing set down. Anthony had landed his damn cruiser not five hundred feet from our house, crushing a huge swath of soypen in the process. Hicks was out there as well, staring at the ruined plants in dismay, probably because they’d be coming out of his paycheck. Of course, considering he’d been the one who tipped Anthony off, I wasn’t feeling particularly sympathetic to his plight. But for all the ruckus, I didn’t see Rupert or Anthony anywhere, and for a moment I was half afraid they were off finishing their duel where I couldn’t stop them. Before I could get too worried, though, I spotted Anthony stalking back and forth through the dense soypen forest behind the house.

  He must have been listening for my footsteps, because he turned around the second I walked through the broken back door. He had his helmet off, so there was nothing to hide the betrayal on his face as I joined him. I refused to let that disturb my hard-won calm, though. I walked right up to him cool as you please, folding my arms over my chest as I tilted my head back to meet his eyes.

  When it was clear I wasn’t going to speak first, Anthony sighed, running a gloved hand through his dark brown hair. “I didn’t think you’d show.”

  “I said I would,” I replied, leaning against the smooth trunk of the nearest soypen.

  “And do you have anything else to say?” Anthony snapped. “Anything at all for me after I came all this way?”

  “I didn’t ask—”

  “Don’t give me that bullshit,” he growled. “Do you have any idea what I’ve been through?”

  I put up my hand. “Stop. Just stop a second and listen.”

  He shut his mouth with an angry huff. When it stayed closed, I continued. “I’m sorry I worried you,” I said in a measured voice. “I didn’t mean to disappear for so long. We had to do a wild jump to escape Reaper’s ship and we lost time in hyperspace as a result. We actually just got out not thirty hours ago, and I spent most of those asleep. That said, I’m still sorry I scared you. I hope you know I’d never do anything like that on purpose.”

  “I do know…” Anthony said, but his voice trailed off as he glanced through the soypen in the direction of his ship. “What’s going on, Devi? Why are you out here, of all places, and with a symbiont? And what the hell did you do to piss off Reaper so bad he’d siege a core world to get you?”

  I grinned. “Made the news, did I?”

  Anthony snorted. “More like dominated it. That picture he put up of you was everywhere. Reaper was as aggressive as they come, but even he stayed away from the major colonies. And then, out of nowhere, he comes in with a full siege, demanding you as payment. So when he vanished ten minutes later, everyone presumed he got you.”

  He looked at me, and I nodded. “Yeah, he got me.”

  “Did you really give yourself up to save Montblanc?”

  I made a face, because the truth was exactly opposite. We’d been trying to get away from Montblanc under Caldswell’s orders when Reaper caught us. But I couldn’t tell Anthony that, so all I said was, “More or less.”

  “It was all anyone talked about for weeks,” he said. “There was talk about going to war with Reaper for real, not just skirmishes. Before the Republic could vote on it, though, they found the burned ships.”

  I knew where this was going, but I asked anyway. “Burned?”

  Anthony nodded. “The Terrans tried to keep it secret, but we’ve got good intel that the lelgis burned every one of Reaper’s ships to a cinder. We also know they’re the ones who burned Stoneclaw’s ships, meaning the squids have now taken out two of the three known xith’cal tribes.”

  “What about the Bloodtooth?” I asked. The Bloodtooth tribe was the one I’d dealt with the least since they were on the opposite edge of the galaxy and mostly preyed on the Aeon Sevalis, but they were rumored to be absolutely awful, even for xith’cal.

  “In retreat,” Anthony said. “They ran for the Waste Belt soon as word got out, though they won’t stay there long. Not even the lelgis can keep the xith’cal from making a play with such prime hunting grounds up for grabs.”

  That would be nasty business once it started, but still, the loss of two tribes was an enormous blow to the xith’cal. It was a different universe, a safer one, and I’d helped make it that way. I’d killed Reaper, the ancient enemy, and his whole tribe with him. Now that I actually thought about it, I realized this meant I’d probably killed more xith’cal than all of Terran Starfleet put together. Not that I could explain that to Anthony without getting into the virus, but if I ever did get to take credit, I’d be a war hero for sure. The king might even knight me, assuming I survived to claim the honor.

  “But I didn’t come here to talk about the news,” Anthony said, scowling again. “And you still haven’t answered my question. What’s going on? Really?”

  Now it was my turn to sigh. “It’s complicated. I can’t explain right now.”

  “Why not?” Anthony demanded. “Does it have to do with that damn Warrant of his?”

  I glowered at him. “If it did, do you think I’d tell you?”

  “Don’t you dare try and brush me off,” Anthony said, stepping closer. “Not after I came all the way out here. Do you have any idea what the last few months have been like for me? I was the one who told you about Caldswell. It was my fault you were on that death trap of a ship to begin with, and now you’re wrapped up with a symbiont and Reaper and god knows what else.”

  “I think you’re taking a little too much credit,” I said. “You gave me the tip, sure, but I made the decision to go. Everything I’ve done has been my own choice, not yours.”

  “I went to your damn funeral,” Anthony said, his voice rising. “Full honors service—I made sure of it. And while your mother was sobbing over your empty casket, all I could think was that I should have prevented it. I had trackers going for Caldswell’s ship as soon as I got your letter. I saw you put down in Wuxia. I could have gone for you then, taken you away, but I didn’t want to push you. I thought you’d reach out to me on your own when things got bad. But you never did.”

  His voice was so bitter I winced, but Anthony wasn’t done. “After Montblanc, I put out word to every person you might possibly contact,” he said, stepping closer. “The Blackbirds, our army friends, everyone, offering a reward for any information about you. We knew you’d left the embassy, but no one had seen you leave the planet, so I had hope you might still be alive.”

  He was right in front of me now, so close I could feel the soft brush of his breath on my cheek. The invasion of my personal space had me bristling, but I didn’t dare push him away. I’d never seen Anthony this worked up before.

  “I had to believe there was still a chance to find you,” he whispered, leaning down and in until we were nose to nose. “I couldn’t accept that you were gone. Not before I told you.”

  “Told m
e what?” I whispered back.

  I saw his lips quirk in a smile right before he pressed them to mine. “That I love you.”

  I jerked back, staring at him like he’d lost his damn mind. “Are you kidding?”

  Okay, maybe that wasn’t the best response to a confession, but Anthony had caught me completely off guard.

  “Oh, come on,” he said, straightening up again. “This can’t be a surprise. I’ve loved you for years. You have to know that.”

  “N-no, I don’t!” I sputtered. “What about all your other girlfriends? You almost married that one girl from Summerland. How could you do that and claim you love me?”

  Anthony at least had the decency to look embarrassed. “I was trying to make you jealous,” he admitted. “Those other girls didn’t mean a thing to me, no more than all your one-night stands meant to you. I was the only one you came back to year after year. I thought if I was always there for you, you’d see that eventually.”

  “And you never thought you should clue me in?”

  Anthony reached out, running his gloved fingers gently down my jaw. “I know you,” he said. “If I’d told you the truth, you would have run. Hell, the one time I suggested you move in, you hopped on Caldswell’s cursed ship and never came back.”

  I swore under my breath. Couldn’t argue with that.

  “Devi,” Anthony whispered, leaning in close again. “It’s not too late. I don’t know what business that symbiont has you wrapped up in, but you don’t have to go with him.”

  “Where else would I go?”

  “Home,” Anthony said sharply. “With me, where you belong. He’s on my ship right now, but I’ve still got the codes. I can detonate the entire missile complement from here if—”

  I sighed. “Anthony, he’s not holding me prisoner, and I’m not letting you kill him. Look, I know you’re trying to protect me, but I don’t need it.”

  “Don’t need…” Anthony trailed off, eyes wide. “Devi, you got taken by a xith’cal tribe lord and then vanished for eight months without a trace—”