Breach

by K. I. Lynn

  “What did I say?” Caroline asked, her head moving between the two of us, startled by his sudden shift.

  I was used to his mood swings, but Caroline was used to the mask. He turned from his spot against the counter and his eyes found mine, holding my stare for a moment before he moved to the sink and washed his hands.

  “I think it’s about time you took over. I’m going to go change,” he declared as he dried his hands.

  “All right. Thank you.” I hated that his mood had soured.

  As he walked past me, he stopped and leaned down, placing a quick kiss to the top of my head, surprising me, before heading up to his condo.

  Caroline stared after him. “What the hell was that?”

  I let out a sigh as I headed to the sink and washed my hands before moving to finish cutting the chicken Nathan had started. I tried to explain to her as best I could. “Nathan is…complicated…and damaged. What you see on the outside, at the office, is just a façade. Like pretty new siding over an old dilapidated house.”

  Caroline considered this for a moment, mulling over everything. “But, you consider yourselves boyfriend and girlfriend, right? Dating?”

  I bit my lip, trying to find the best way to describe our status, or lack thereof. “No, our relationship is…undefined. The only word we use is ‘mine.’”

  “Well…it may not be a declaration of a relationship, but it is a claim, I suppose. You only see each other?”

  “Yes. Every day, actually.”

  “Every day? Do you sleep in the same bed?”

  “Yes.”

  “Every night?”

  “Yes.” My hand slowed down as I continued to cut into the food, realizing just how pathetic it all must sound to her.

  “Wow…just…I don’t know, Lila. I see now why your insomnia has gone away if you’re sleeping with him every night.” Her brow scrunched in concern. I could see the sadness in her eyes. “This is not what I was expecting you to tell me tonight.”

  “I didn’t want to keep it from you, but the way things happened between us was unconventional.”

  “So, that night at the bar, that was after the office romp?” she asked, and I nodded. “I wondered why he was acting so weird. He didn’t like Andrew near his girl.”

  I rolled my eyes. “He doesn’t like Andrew at all, and the feeling is mutual. I don’t get it.”

  “Men. I know you don’t understand them – who does? – but, let’s put it this way…you used to be Andrew’s and now your Nathan’s. I know Andrew still has a thing for you and Nathan clearly does. Neither of them likes the thought of you with the other.”

  Her inquisition was hitting so many nerves, I had to concentrate on cutting, otherwise I was going to lose a finger. I squinted, trying to focus on every little movement I made. “But Andrew doesn’t know about us.”

  “Doesn’t matter. He’s a guy and therefore all other guys are possibilities of taking you. Something Nathan seems to do very well.” She said with a wink.

  I felt the blush creep over my skin. “Yes, he does.”

  “I wonder what happened to him.”

  I shrugged my shoulders. “All I know is he used to be a federal prosecutor and that something bad happened, scaring him.”

  “Oh, I know. We can Google him!”

  She bounced with excitement and ran to her purse. As soon as she had her phone in her hand, she began searching for him. My hand reached out and covered the screen, causing her gaze to snap up to mine, confusion swirling in her eyes.

  I stared at her. “You can do that, but don’t tell me. I tried once, but when the search came up I closed it. I want to hear it from him when he’s ready.” Caroline studied me for a few moments, and all I could do was blink back at her. “What?”

  “Oh my God, you’re in love with him.”

  “Is that what this feeling is?” I asked, reflecting on all the emotions that swirled around inside me.

  My hand rested on my chest, right over my heart. Love? Could it really be? I’d never been in love before, not even with Andrew…in fact, the only love I had was my platonic love for Caroline and my foster family. The idea both thrilled and frightened me.

  She smiled at me, her hand moving to brush a strand of hair behind my ear. “Yes, sweetie, that’s what that feeling is.”

  After that, her attention was drawn back to the shiny piece of technology in her hand. I watched Caroline as she surfed for Nathan, looking for the information to quench her curiosity. I knew the moment she found what she was looking for. Her expression said it all.

  As I feared, her smile of excitement fell from her face, sadness replacing it. Her hand moved to cover her mouth, her body sagging against the counter for support.

  Her body language answered all my unspoken questions. Again, I felt the pang in my chest. Would I be enough to keep him with me?

  I heard the sound of a key in the lock followed by the door closing; Nathan had returned.

  “How’s dinner coming?” he asked, and I couldn’t help but lick my lips at the sight of him when he rounded the corner.

  Nathan was sin in a suit and equally as sinful in jeans and a t-shirt. To be honest, anything or nothing on Nathan, it didn’t matter, he always looked delicious.

  Caroline walked up to stand a few feet right in front of him. “I’m sorry. I Googled you. Don’t worry; I won’t say anything to anyone, even Lila. She wants to hear it from you when you’re ready,” Caroline blurted, speaking fast, and wide-eyed.

  Nathan’s eyes rounded in what looked like fear and he swallowed hard. He leaned down toward her and lowered his tone. “I need to request that you please make sure you do. Only a few trusted people in the office know. I stress this because what you learned isn’t the whole story, nor wholly true, and I don’t want rumors spreading.”

  “I promise. I won’t say a word. It’s not my place anyway,” she assured him.

  Her reaction flared my curiosity again. In one search he’d gained her trust and devotion, a hard feat.

  “Thank you, Caroline.”

  The rest of dinner went off without a hitch. There was no more talk about Nathan’s past, and only a few times did Caroline bring up Andrew’s name. She did it just to watch Nathan’s reaction to it, of that I was certain. Her eyes lit up every time, and she smiled when his eyes narrowed. She’d then look to me with a knowing smile. We talked about work, the office, and Nathan’s fan club.

  It was then that Nathan found out what I called his admirers; I’d never ever told him. He also vowed he would forever refer to them as “B.S.” so that we could be discreet when talking about them in the office. He also assured Caroline that he didn’t buy any of the B.S.’s BS.

  When he laughed at his little joke, I couldn’t help but stare in wonder at the smile that formed. It was new. It wasn’t forced, nor a small one. I’d never seen him smile like that, and I was awestruck at the beauty of it, and the light feeling coming off Nathan at that moment. I etched it into my memory; there was a chance I would never see him like that again.

  Around nine, Caroline said her goodnights and that she’d see us in the morning, promising to act normal.

  I turned to him as we cleaned up the mess from dinner. “Did your phone really die?” I had to admit, I loved that we were able to spend time with someone else knowing about us. It was liberating.

  He smirked and my suspicion flared up. Had he known and come anyway?

  “Yes, it died after lunch.”

  “How long after lunch?” I asked.

  A devilish grin spread across his lips. “Sometime around when you got coffee. I was surprised to find she followed you home. I thought she would come over later.”

  “Oh, God, you did read it and came over anyway?”

  “Technically, I read half of it…then my phone died.”

  “Unbelievable!”

  “I thought it was a good idea. One of your friends should know, in case…” He trailed off. I didn’t ask him to elaborate. I’d learned that some
times it was best to let certain things go. He would tell me in his own time.

  “You couldn’t have given me a heads up? I was freaking out!”

  He placed a kiss on my neck. “I’ll make it up to you.”

  “How?”

  He wiggled his eyebrows. “Oh, I think I have a few tricks up my sleeves…and down my pants.”

  I shook my head and chuckled. “Do you, now? I’m not sure I’m convinced of your professed prowess.”

  A complete lie. He had shown me again and again his skills in the bedroom – or wall, living room, elevator, shower, just about anywhere and everywhere.

  “Are you challenging my ability to make you come and come often?” he questioned in mock incredulity.

  He was being playful. Just what had gotten into him that evening, I didn’t know. Maybe he had taken his meds when he was upstairs. Whatever it was, I wasn’t going to complain. I liked this side of him, a lot.

  After the dishes were dry and put away, he leaned over and picked me up, tossing me over his shoulder.

  I cried out in protest. “Nathan!”

  “Time for bed, Number One.”

  “Number One?” I questioned.

  “Yes, you’re number one in the Boob-Squad.”

  “Says who and why?” My hands reached out to grab his perfect ass, hovering in front of my eyes.

  He cried out my name in surprise, smacking my ass before answering. “Because you show me a hell of a lot more of your tits than they do. Way more of them, and way more often.”

  We reached my bedroom and he dropped me down onto the bed, his body crashing on top of mine. His hands roamed up my arms, moving them, pinning them above my head. The bulge in his pants was being pressed into my hot center, right where I wanted him. My hips tilted upward to grind against him, resulting in a hiss before his hooded eyes came within mere inches of my own. Neither one of us could stop smiling for the next several breaths as he continued to nestle himself between my thighs and rock me a little back and forth.

  Then the mood shifted as his eyes darkened.

  “Something you want, baby?” His voice was low and husky, and I shivered at his question. I lifted my hips in response, earning another small hiss. “Words, Delilah. Tell me in words what you want.”

  “Kiss me,” I replied, wanting to feel his lips against mine, to taste him.

  “Where?”

  My breathing picked up, hips rocking.

  “Everywhere,” I whispered, unable to get any other sound out.

  His lips crashed into mine, his tongue sliding in and tasting me.

  Sex was where we felt safe; where we knew each other. Nothing else seemed to matter when we took a hold of each other that way. I didn’t have to worry about Caroline, about the next day at the office. None of it mattered because I was with him and we both had what we wanted. There was sanity in the chaos. And breath back in my body.

  He released my lips, his eyes staring into mine with a softness that had my heart hammering. “I meant it you know.”

  My eyes fluttered at the soft caress of his fingers moving along my cheek and down my neck. “Meant what?”

  “When I told Caroline how beautiful and sexy you are.” His lips ghosted across mine before his eyes scrunched in pain and he shook his head. “I don’t know how anyone could ever tell you different, but they were wrong. Believe me, baby, they were so wrong about it all. It kills me and pisses me off to no end to know that there are more of their lies rattling around inside that head of yours.”

  Tears welled in my eyes, and I had to look away. “You can’t know they were all lies.”

  He cupped my cheek, bringing my gaze back up to his. “Yes, I can. I may be fucked up beyond repair, but I can still see the truth. You deserve so much…you deserve a loving heart and a caring hand, understanding and kind words to erase the false ones.”

  My heart clenched, a tear releasing from my eye and rolling down my cheek. The sincerity in what he said took me by surprise. My arms wrapped around his shoulders, pulling him closer as I buried my face into his neck, a small sob breaking free.

  His arms wrapped around me like a secure blanket. He made soothing sounds as his hand brushed over my hair.

  “It’s okay, Honeybear, I’ve got you.”

  I didn’t know if he knew the implications of what he said, but I wanted all of it, and I wanted it with him.

  CHAPTER 20

  Later that week, thanks to the Boob-Squad, we became aware of the accused offenders of the alleged affair. Sadie from our accounting department and Will from tax law. They were not only hiding a relationship, but were expecting.

  The story running rampant was Benjamin and his wife were at the OB/GYN for a checkup when they bumped into Will and Sadie. Benjamin’s wife told one of her friends about it who told another, who told another, and so on, before it ended up in one of the biggest office gossip’s ear. You didn’t tell Sheila, Mr. Holloway’s assistant, anything that you didn’t want spread around.

  I felt bad for them, worrying about when the situation came to a head. I understood Holloway & Holloway’s policy and why it was in place. I was there during the Antonio and Karen blow up. The difference I found here was that Sadie and Will worked in separate departments and never interacted for work, while Karen had been Antonio’s legal assistant.

  Mr. Holloway could amend it so that they could keep their jobs because they were in different parts of the business. I knew Jack was kind and just trying to protect his business and his employees, but if he couldn’t amend it for this couple, I knew there was no hope for Nathan and I. Either way, we would be separated at work, both of us fired for our indiscretion.

  I feared that day.

  Even though I couldn’t express my feelings for him at the office, just having him near soothed me. Thinking about not having him there was enough to almost send me into a panic. I wanted to be near him.

  Always.

  I was amazed how fast time moved since Nathan had come into my life. Two weeks had passed since Caroline had joined in on our little secret. She’d been doing a great job hiding the fact that she knew anything was going on. In fact, she joined in with me against Nathan and the Boob-Squad in our less than friendly, sarcastic banter in the office, and then laughed all through lunch about the reactions.

  I think she was having way too much fun, but that’s what made it great because Nathan would laugh at night about the things Caroline had said during the day.

  Nathan laughing was something I wanted to encourage as much as possible. I couldn’t wait to tell him that night that Caroline had called Tiffany a “street-walker-wannabe,” due to the outfit she had picked out that day.

  I shuffled the groceries, setting them on the floor of the elevator as I stripped off my suit jacket, revealing the tank top beneath. I sighed as the cool air hit my heated skin.

  I hated having to hide my arms, but the bruises…I knew people wouldn’t understand.

  While folding my jacket over my arm, I leaned down to riffle through my purse in search of my keys. I found them just in time for the elevator doors to open and picked everything back up. I twisted the key in the lock and made my way inside, kicking the door closed with my foot.

  The sound of voices could be heard as I walked to his kitchen to put the bags down. It didn’t sound like the television and one of the voices I was certain was Nathan’s.

  “Nathan?” I called out.

  There was a pause and some more mumbled words before his voice rang out. “In the living room.”

  I crossed the hall and turned the corner before stopping dead in my tracks.

  Nathan had a visitor.

  Nathan never had visitors.

  “Oh, I’m sorry,” I apologized, but I wasn’t sure what for. Interrupting them? Seeing them? Being me?

  I was sure my eyes were wide as I took in the graying brown hair and crisp blue eyes of the attractive older man, occupying a cushion on Nathan’s couch. My attention moved back to Nathan and he beckoned
me to his side. I was nervous as I walked to stand next to him, still in shock at seeing another person in his home and not knowing how to act because of it.

  “Lila, I’d like to introduce you to my father, George Thorne. Dad this is Lila, my…my Lila.” His grip tightened on my waist, pulling me closer to him.

  A gasp drew my attention back to the man I now knew as Nathan’s father. He was looking at me with surprised eyes, filled with joy.

  He held out his hand. “Lila, it’s a real pleasure to meet you.”

  Stepping away from Nathan, I walked forward and took his hand in mine. “You as well, Mr. Thorne.”

  His fingers curled around my hand. “George, please.”

  His gaze moved down to my arm, and shock covered his entire face. It was quickly replaced with a forced smile.

  I looked down to see what brought about the change.

  Nathan’s hand print on my bicep and the light bruises on my wrist from where I had pulled at his tie when he had restrained me to the bed the previous night.

  “Are you staying for dinner, George? I’m making chicken marsala.” I pulled my hand free from his and stepped back to Nathan’s side.

  “No, no thank you, my dear. I would love to, but Mrs. Thorne is expecting me home soon,” he said, that forced smile still in place, and his jaw tight.

  I could feel the tension in the air as George looked from Nathan and back to me.

  “Well…I’ll just let you return to your conversation, and I’ll go work on dinner. It was very nice meeting you, George.”

  As soon as I was out of view, I heard George speak in hushed, harsh tones.

  “Nathan, are you…hurting her?”

  “What?” Nathan sounded truly bewildered.

  “Son, she has bruises on her biceps and wrists. Are you abusing that girl?”

  I stopped all movement in complete shock. He thought Nathan was hurting me? The thought made me sick. Nathan healed me, he never hurt me. The thought that someone, anyone, let alone his own father, had doubts about the kind of man Nathan was, didn’t sit well with me. I couldn’t let it continue. I wouldn’t.