Our first stop is the couch, only because it’s close and we’re on the edge of the ignition point as it is. I put her down, and she hesitates only a moment, long enough to meet my gaze head-on. Her eyes convey her thoughts without speaking the words. She wants and needs this as much as I do. Seven months without the feel of her body connected to mine. Two hundred ten days without holding her in my arms. Five thousand forty hours since our world imploded when we hit an impasse.
But tonight, I’m leaving all that lost time in the past, and focusing solely on the present. I don’t know what tomorrow holds, but I know I’m holding her all night tonight. When the back of her knees hit the couch, she tugs on her belt, and lets it fall to the floor. Then she pulls down the strapless top of her outfit, shimmies it over her hips, and steps out of it.
My libido instantly hits overdrive, and it takes all my restraint not to rush the moment. But since we haven’t resolved anything that drove us apart, I’m not hurrying a single second of this interlude in our ongoing war. The chemistry between us has never been in question… only our ability to work out the irreconcilable differences we never knew we had.
Then she palms my cock through my pants and all semblance of rational thought flees from my mind. I push down on her shoulders until she sits on the couch, then I pull her legs to slide her to the edge. Her hooded eyes and ragged breaths urge me on. I stroke her core and watch with rapt attention as her eyes roll back in her head before closing. She leans against the back of the couch, arching her back and pushing her breasts toward me. With one hand I continue the ministrations that make her body shudder and slide the other up to accept the open invitation from her exposed breast.
When I press my thumb against her sensitive nub in small circles and squeeze her taut nipple simultaneously, she nearly vaults off the seat. She grabs my arms and digs her nails into my skin, struggling to contain her cries of passion. Intent on hearing those cries as loudly as possible, I increase the pressure and intensity until she can no longer hold back. Her entire body goes rigid at once before melting into a pile of beautiful skin and bones right before my eyes.
“That’s one.” I don’t even try to hide the pride in my voice.
“Let’s go for a record tonight. You up for it?” She arches one brow as she issues her challenge.
“You know damn well I am. The real question is if you can handle it.” I move closer and drop my head between her thighs. “You’ll probably want to hold on to something.”
My mouth covers her core, my tongue laps up her wetness, and my fingers delve deep inside her to stoke the fires even more. She writhes under my attentions, simultaneously pulling my hair and squeezing my head with her legs. When another scream breaks free, despite her best attempts to hold it at bay, I glance up at her with a sly, seductive grin.
“And that’s two. I wonder how many more I can wring out of you.”
“Holy hell, I don’t know. But if you touch me again right now, I may just die right here on the spot.”
“Yeah? Let’s see.” Before my threat registers, I dive back in and suck her clit into my mouth.
“Oh. Shit. Ry. Ooohhhh.” She barely manages to get the words out before my voracious appetite returns. What follows is a series of incoherent and senseless words followed by feral, guttural sounds… before that glorious squeal makes another appearance.
“Three. Seems I’m on a roll, and you’re extra sensitive tonight. I could use this to my dark gain and hold you hostage as my sex slave.” I waggle my eyebrows at her.
“Don’t make idle threats to me, Ryder King. Only come at me if you have a solid plan.” I’ve missed the teasing smirk on her face. It’s been way too long since we’ve felt at ease with each other.
“I’m an evil genius. I’ll show you my master plan.” Her eyes remain glued to me as I remove every shred of clothing on my body. When I take my place in front of her again, her tongue emerges, sliding across her lips in a slow, seductive taunt. “Keep looking at me like you want to eat me alive, babe. You’ll get your wish in just a second.”
“A second is too long to wait.”
She pulls me to her, and our mouths clash in hungry need. Her hands glide across my back, scoring my skin with her nails. I’m completely lost in this embrace, but I need to see her face before we move to the next level. After I break our kiss, I slide my hand behind her neck to keep our eyes locked. Then I thrust inside her to the hilt, holding her attention with an invisible tether neither of us can break.
She sucks in a breath with a hiss during my sensual intrusion, then she begins lifting her hips to meet me. With a slight circular movement, she grinds against me as I repeatedly pull back and push forward into her. Sweat covers our bodies, glistening off the moonlight that illuminates the living room through the large picture window. She calls out my name more times than I can count because I’m too focused on delaying my own pleasure.
I don’t want this night to end.
However, all good things must come to an end, and that end is together as we reach the highest of highs. Her inner muscles tighten their grip around me as her final climax rips through her body, pulling me along with her as we tumble over the edge as one. We clean up, then crawl in the bed together. She’s asleep in my arms in under a minute, but I’m still awake, watching her for as long as I can keep my eyes open.
Our problems didn’t magically disappear tonight. We’re still at odds with our expectations, both too stubborn to give up. But our love hasn’t diminished. Time and distance can’t change how we feel about each other. The lull of sleep eventually takes over my senses and I succumb to the darkness behind my eyelids.
Sometime before the morning light begins to peek over the mountains, I’m awoken by the most divine sensation. Liv is under the covers, situated between my legs, and working all kinds of mischief with her tongue and lips. My hands instinctively move to her head, fisting her hair between my fingers, and gently guiding and encouraging her to move faster. When I don’t think I can hold back any longer, she straddles me and takes me fully inside her. As she bounces up and down on my cock, I struggle to maintain my composure. Then I reach forward and stroke her clit, giving her the extra attention she needs to reach that spot again.
“Now, Ryder. Oh my God, right now!”
Watching her head loll backward, the expression of sheer ecstasy on her face, and her body lose all muscle control is the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen. She slumps forward, puts her head on my chest, and falls asleep while lying on top of me. Without moving too much, I pull the covers over her, then wrap my arms around her back.
Chapter 5
Olivia
“Daddy! Daddy!” Kiwi wakes me, screaming for Ryder. Again. She misses her daddy, and she misses us being together.
She’s usually in her luxurious suite with the blackout shades drawn so she’ll sleep in, but I left the door open since I knew I’d be away most of the night. Keeping her cooped up too long isn’t good for her, even though she has an extra-large enclosure. She needs the human interaction and bonding time every day. Though I can’t pry my eyes open yet, I’m certain she’s perched above my head on my headboard.
My brain is still foggy from the copious amount of alcohol I drank over the span of several hours last night. I was noticeably tipsy when I left Pony Up, but not what I’d consider drunk. I’ve only been truly drunk twice in my life, and both times resulted in bowing to the great porcelain throne, so I don’t make that mistake anymore.
“Daddy, I love you. Love you, Daddy.” Kiwi’s louder and more animated than usual this morning. It doesn’t help that she’s now sitting on my head, bobbing up and down and walking around in my hair.
But something is amiss underneath my head.
The only fact I’m certain of is I’m not lying on my pillow. There’s something underneath me that’s both hard and soft, comfortable and prickly, and warm and lean. A rash of memories rushes back to me, flooding my mind with vivid images all at once. I squeeze my eyes shut and scrunch my
face, knowing exactly what I’ll find when I muster the courage to look.
“Daddy. Home. Daddy. Home.” She bounces around, repeating the words in a singsong voice. She’s thrilled to have him back, and it breaks my heart because I know he’ll leave again soon. Then she’ll ask where he is, and we’ll start this vicious cycle all over again.
“Shh, sweet girl. We have to be quiet. Come here and give Daddy some love.” Ryder’s voice is soft, trying not to wake me in case Kiwi hasn’t already succeeded. When I feel him lift her from my head, I know I can’t delay the inevitable any longer.
I raise my head, cross my arms on his chest, and and rest my chin on them. It’s not the most comfortable position, but it’s the safest with the way our limbs are entangled under the covers. “She doesn’t know how to be quiet.”
He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. The truth of our current situation has already taken root in his mind. He’s being polite and considerate because I was still asleep. Or because I’m still on top of him. Maybe because he’s in my bed and in my house. Regardless, all the above used to be his too. The house, the bed, and me. We have a hell of a mess to extricate ourselves from this morning… all before the automatic coffee maker kicks on.
“Morning, sleepyhead.”
Maybe I’m overanalyzing our early morning interactions, but I take special note of how he didn’t say “good morning.”
“Have you been awake long?”
“Not too long. Kiwi landed on me and woke me up. I tried to keep her quiet, but she’s just too excited.” He nuzzles her, rubbing his cheek against hers. They both look so content.
He tries to hide it, but I notice the small differences in his demeanor when he looks at me. His guard instantly goes up, and his heart hardens. We’ve known each other for so long that we finish each other’s sentences and share the same thoughts. I don’t need him to say the words out loud for me to sense what he’s feeling. Reading his demeanor is an involuntary reflex after all the years we’ve spent together.
Maybe he’s protecting himself, but it also feels a lot like he’s shutting me out. Just like he did the day I wanted to talk about having a family, but he wanted to clam up regarding the whole topic. There was no discussion or consideration for my feelings. Just an open-and-shut case of not being tied down to the small-town life he hates.
The problem with that scenario, which he doesn’t seem to realize to this day, is the life he says he hates is, and has been, our entire life together.
That was when the hurtful realization hit me that nothing in our life made him happy. Our businesses, our home, our marriage, and our little family were all the exact opposite of what he wanted for his future. What we had together was our small-town life—the very one that wasn’t good enough for him. This life wouldn’t work anywhere else. My lingerie shop would be dwarfed by the larger department stores, as would the jewelry store he bought from his parents when they retired early. Anywhere else, we’d be stuck in the nine-to-five grind of corporate life, miserable and looking for a way out.
Another realization hits me out of the blue. I’ve been lying on him way too long. If I move now, it’ll be obvious. If I don’t move, it’ll be even more awkward than it already is. When I move, I don’t know how to unwrap my leg from his, or the sheet that’s now oddly twisted around both of us.
There’s no easy way out of this mess, so I fling myself to the side as hard as I can, rolling off him in one fluid motion. Except… the covers don’t stay in place. In fact, they all come with me. Every. Single. Thread. Leaving Ryder completely nude beside me, with no way to cover himself. Trying my best to play it off, I roll again, right off the bed. As I walk away with the sheet twirled around my right leg, I call over my shoulder to Ryder.
“Coffee?”
“Um, yeah, sure.”
I stroll past our clothes from last night, still on the floor in front of the couch where we left them in our haste. None of his clothes are left in the bedroom closet here, so he’ll have to make his way into the living room to get dressed in the open. I’ve never felt so awkward around him in all the years I’ve known him. This isn’t natural at all.
But why I walked to the kitchen wrapped in my sheet instead of grabbing my robe from the bathroom is beyond me. Walking back into the bedroom now isn’t possible. He’s lying in my bed… naked. I’ll hide in the kitchen, then when he joins me for coffee, he’ll be fully dressed and I’ll be in a sheet, toga-style.
This is the worst walk of shame in the history of hookups… and it’s in my own damn kitchen and with my own damn husband.
“Liv, should I go? Do you want me to leave?”
He speaks from directly behind me, when I’m making sure I added more coffee before leaving last night. I didn’t hear him walk up, and his question startles me, making me jump and turn toward him at the same time. I try to hide how much the words hurt, but I’m caught off guard.
How do I answer that question? It’s much more complicated than the simplistic way he asked. There are numerous meanings behind the words, and I’m not sure even he knows exactly which one he’s asking.
Should he leave because we’re in the middle of a divorce and he thinks last night was a mistake?
Is he asking because he knows there’s no hope of salvaging what we had?
Or is he feeling insecure and doesn’t know if I want him here?
He’s leaning against the doorjamb, barefoot, shirtless, and wearing his jeans unbuttoned. He has sexy bed hair, and I’m sure mine looks more like a twisted mess of a bird’s nest. It’s unfair of him to look so good first thing in the morning.
“What do you want, Ryder?” I decide to return his vague, multiple-entendre question back to him. Maybe his answer will reveal the true intention behind his question.
“I want…” He pauses, his brow furrowed and his hand scraping across his chin while he’s deep in thought. Then he raises his eyes back to mine. “I want exactly what I’ve always wanted, Liv.”
I nod, despite the invisible arrow that pierced my heart. “Then you already have your answer and know what you should do. Since what you want has always been the same, why did you even bother with bringing me home last night and staying? You should’ve just walked away and left me alone, Ryder. Sign the papers and give me full custody of Kiwi.”
“Why the hell would I do that?”
“Because our life together was never good enough for you. There’s a great big world out there just waiting for Ryder King to show up at the right place and the right time so it can shower him with gifts from the gods. There’s nothing here you want, and that includes Kiwi and me.
“When we got her, you knew it was a lifelong commitment. You know you can’t travel the world with her. She needs a home with stability, with someone who loves her and wants to be with her. Not someone who just wants to drop in for a weekend once in a while because he has nowhere better to be. Go. Travel everywhere. Fly. Cruise. Walk. Whatever you have to do, but you’re not taking Kiwi with you. That would kill her. If you’d ever had any love for her at all, we wouldn’t still be fighting over this. If you really loved her, you’d want to do what’s best for her.”
“Best for her? Or best for you? Who are we really talking about here, Liv?”
“I’m not the one who’s leaving. You know exactly who we’re talking about, Ryder.”
“To answer your other question, you asked me to bring you home last night.”
“Yeah, I did. I asked for a ride home, and you chose to spend the night in my bed. Don’t you think you’ve hurt me enough as it is? Seven months of dragging this divorce out just so you can have your way. You’re being selfish and stubborn—and those aren’t positive traits. You’ve already broken up our home. Are you trying to break my spirit completely too?”
His jaw drops open and he stammers for an answer. “No. Of course not. I don’t want that.”
“Then why do you want this custody arrangement? You’re leaving, Ryder. How can you leave and have cus
tody of Kiwi at the same time? Explain this to me, once and for all, because you haven’t been able to articulate it during our mediation sessions.” I clutch the sheet tightly in my fist until my fingers ache.
I’m exhausted from wearing my heart on my sleeve for so long, and I simply can’t do this anymore. One way or another, this has to end soon.
“I love her too, Liv. You’re not the only one who loves her.” His voice is softer, but he still hasn’t explained his rationale.
“You didn’t answer my question. Tell me how this works.”
Kiwi lands on my shoulder, and Ryder stares at her for a long minute in silence.
“I love her. I can’t simply let her go. Even if I don’t know what to do with it, she’s part of me now.”
Our pet bird is, but I’m not. He doesn’t say the words out loud, but then he doesn’t have to. What he didn’t say speaks loudly enough on its own.
“Here’s the answer to your question, Ryder. Yes, you should leave. Right now. And don’t ever come back. You can pick Kiwi up at the shop when it’s time. But don’t ever come back to my house again.”
I move to the front door, twist the deadbolt, and open the door wide. His cue to leave couldn’t be any clearer, so he picks up his shirt, socks, and shoes and walks out of what used to be our house for the last time.
My heart and my mind are finally on the same page. This is now my house, and there are no remnants of us left to salvage. If he doesn’t sign the papers by Monday’s mediation session, I will. It’ll kill me to see him take her on one of his big adventure trips because I know how miserable and sick she’ll be. I can only hope he changes his mind when the time comes for his journey.
Without watching him drive away, I close and lock the door. Then I make Kiwi’s breakfast and put her back in her room while I shower. The water washes away the traces of last night, taking the last of my tears with it. I’m taking today to grieve and wallow in my self-pity, then tomorrow I’m moving on with my life. I’m legally separated. The dissolution of my marriage has been underway long enough, and everyone in this town is fully aware of all the drama we’ve created.
Perfect Excuse (Mason Creek Book 11) Page 4