“Help me understand why you’re so opposed to having a family. Don’t give me some unattainable dream of traveling the world with no money in our pocket. But I do want to hear the truth of what’s in your mind and your heart.” I pat the empty space beside me.
He sits and turns toward me, taking my hand in his. “It’s not that I don’t want a family, exactly. My parents ran the jewelry store their entire lives. They barely scraped by when they first started it. We had no family vacations, other than camping in our backyard for a weekend. There was no room for any luxury items—only the bare necessities. When it finally started to turn a profit, they were ecstatic.
“Still, scholarships paid for my education. My parents were able to make small investments over the years that paid off. Plus, they sold the business to me before they moved away, so now they’re free. No kids at home. No business to stress over. They travel from place to place, working seasonal jobs when they need extra money. But other than that, they’re not tied down by anything.”
“You think a family would tie us down? You don’t see any benefits to having children?” I’m struggling to understand his hesitation, but I’m still trying.
He shrugs nonchalantly, but a grimace covers his face. He runs his hand through his hair and doesn’t meet my eyes. “Maybe.”
That’s a definite no to having a family.
“Okay, I suggest we talk to Allie today about helping us work through this as a team. If we continue on this path, one of us will be disappointed, maybe even resentful. We’ll have to find a way to deal with it, one we can both live with and not let it cause more problems.”
Most of the dealing, disappointment, and resentment will be on my part. I realize that, since I’ll be the one forced to relinquish my needs so we can stay together. The combined visit will allow Ryder and me to address issues together and keep us on the same page.
His face falls as realization sets in. “How can I be happy when I’m asking you to give up everything you want so I can have what I want?”
“I don’t have any answers, Ry. What’s your plan? Sell both our businesses, the house, the condo, everything, to travel the world? What about Kiwi?”
“We don’t have to sell our businesses. We’ll turn the day-to-day operations over to a full-time store manager and keep paying ourselves a salary. Kiwi can travel with us. We’ve always moved her around. I think she’ll be fine as long as she’s with us. Maybe we start by touring places we want to see in the US before we take her on any international trips. Get her used to being in new places every week.”
“What if it stresses her out, and she starts pulling out her feathers? What then?”
His eyes drift to the spot above my head where Kiwi sits on the headboard. Concern fills his eyes as he reaches up to scratch her. “Then we’ll come home and take care of her. I don’t want to hurt her.”
“I know you don’t. You mentioned making breakfast, right? I’ll get dressed, then make her meals and treats for the day. We can go for another long walk if you want. It’s nice to get away from everyone for a while. At least until our appointment time, anyway.”
“Sounds like a plan to me. The food will be ready by the time you get out of the shower.” His voice and his eyes seem detached, despite his attempt to appear otherwise.
We’re still skating on thin ice, though we’re treading carefully.
We walk into Allie’s office together, without Kiwi this time, and she immediately raises her eyebrows. “What’s going on here?”
“After our last session, Ryder and I spent a lot of time talking about the issues that were discussed. We went for a hike on my favorite trail and enjoyed spending time together, removed from the rest of the world. Then we spent the last week in a continued therapy session of our own making. We’ve been able to reconnect in a way we’d forgotten about for so long—just the two of us.”
“I feel a ‘but’ coming on. Is this a good place for it?” Allie’s eyes dart between us, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“Yeah, about that…” Ryder starts to speak, then hesitates. “But… we still want different things out of life. So one of us has to give up our dreams to make the other happy. Except neither of us can be happy in that case. How can I live with myself knowing I took Liv’s dreams of being a mother away from her?”
“Because we both feel the same about that, we thought it would be a good idea to continue our therapy sessions to help us navigate through these obstacles in our marriage. We both need to find ways to accept the sacrifices staying together will take.” When I reach to hold Ryder’s hand, the expression on his face startles me.
His brows are furrowed, his eyes are narrowed, and his mouth gapes open. I honestly have no idea what he’s suddenly so pissed about, but I haven’t seen him this mad in years.
“Sacrifices? Did you just saying keeping our marriage alive requires sacrifices on your part?”
“I didn’t mean just me. But yes, I will have to sacrifice my needs and my desires and my dreams so you can have yours. I don’t understand why that makes you mad. It’s simply the truth, and deep down, you know it.”
“When we got married, I don’t remember our vows including promising to keep you barefoot, pregnant, and pampered. I remember for better or worse. I remember promising to love each other, come what may. There was no one else in that equation, not even kids. But now you have to sacrifice everything to be with me, as if I’m the bad guy here and you’re the saint. As if I went back on my word and abandoned you.”
“What word would you use instead of sacrifice, Ryder?” Allie interjects, and I’m thankful because I’m stunned speechless.
“I don’t know. Adjustments, maybe. A change of expectations, even if they were her own and nothing we agreed to do together. But now I think it’s pretty clear how she views our marriage. She doesn’t have to make any sacrifices at the great altar of Ryder King. I’ll be just fine without her burnt offerings.” He spits out the last few words with such venom, it makes me recoil in my chair. He flies out of his seat and paces the room.
“Ryder, I think you may be overacting slightly. You just told me Liv would have to give up what she wants to be with you. That’s the same thing as sacrificing her needs. You’re getting hung up on semantics. She’s here, isn’t she?” Allie stands and moves to block Ryder’s path. “I think there’s something else bothering you, but you’ve latched on to this morsel to avoid the rest of the truth. Are you threatened by the news in the MC Scoop more than you want to admit, or have you withheld something more substantial from Liv?”
“What news?” Ryder and I ask at the same time.
Allie’s head quickly jerks between the two of us. Her bottom jaw hangs open, and her eyes are as big as saucers. “Have you really not read it? Everyone in town has been talking about it all day. I’m sorry. I thought you both knew.”
“I knew there was another article about me because three of my friends sent me texts first thing this morning. All they asked was if it was true. I assumed it was another update about Ryder and me.”
Allie slowly shakes her head. “No, Olivia. That’s not what this one is about. I’m truly sorry. It was inappropriate of me to assume, and you both have my sincere apologies.”
Ryder and I fish our phones out of our pockets at the same time and pull up Tate’s blog. If it’s not about Ryder’s truck being in my driveway over the last week, day and night, I’m afraid of what else she could’ve written about. The headline doesn’t bode well for us.
CHECKMATE.
QUEEN TAKES KING.
GAME OVER.
Isn’t a king supposed to protect his queen? It seems the King of Mason Creek has left his queen on her own too long. She found a new pastime to keep her busy day and night, and the outside world is taking notice.
Yes, Scoopers, this article is about our very own Olivia King again, but we’ve moved past her pending divorce misadventures. She’s stepping up and stepping out—in her unmentionables!
The world-renown
high fashion magazine Entranced recently discovered the Roots & Wings lingerie brand we MCers have loved for years. But it seems our queen has been keeping a rather large secret from all of us. Not only is Queen’s Unmentionables the sole store that carries the Roots & Wings brand, but our very own Liv King designed every piece herself—from sketch to production.
Now that Entranced magazine editors have fallen head over heels in love with the designs and the designer, they’ve announced an enormous world-wide giveaway to promote Liv’s small business and make her a household name.
Since this has to be the best-kept secret in Mason Creek, we have to ask the obvious question first.
Did Mr. King know Mrs. Queen was the brains and the talent?
With such obvious ability and considerable backing for her secret endeavor, how much longer do we expect her to stick around this sleepy little town? The bright lights of the world’s most famous fashion shows will be clamoring to work with our girl before long.
The Queen is going places.
Will our King be Queen-less? Where does that leave him? Manning the panty store while the missus makes the big bucks and the executive decisions?
This Queen has proven she’s the most valuable piece on the board, and she’s playing to win.
Checkmate, indeed.
Check your mate, friends. Check your mate.
You never know what they may be hiding under their clothes.
Maybe they have Roots & Wings.
My hands shake, my heart pounds, and the blood rushes through my ears so loudly I can barely hear much else. No one from the magazine gave me advance notice about this giveaway and the resulting media buzz it has caused. Not that I know of, anyway, since I’ve been off the grid with Ryder long enough to have missed too much.
“Is this true, Olivia?” Ryder rarely uses my full name. He uses Liv or Livvy interchangeably, though it’s Livvy when he’s being especially affectionate. He almost never says Olivia though. “Have you been hiding this from me the entire time you’ve had your store?”
“Yes, it’s true. I actually started in college with my sorority sisters and their friends. The lingerie in my store is mine and always has been. It’s one of the reasons why I’m so proud of it, and why I’m so offended when my family acts embarrassed by it.”
Before I finish speaking, he slams the door on his way out.
Chapter 14
Ryder
The door slams hard on my exit, shaking the wall and startling the others in the doctor’s office. But I don’t give a shit about any of them. I’ve been the loving and supportive partner for years. After college graduation, I moved back here despite my strong personal objections and best intentions to make a new life for us somewhere else.
Every day, I’ve gone to work in the jewelry store and went home to my wife every night. The same grind, day in and day out. Keeping both our businesses going has been the focal point of our existence. And the only piece of repetitiveness keeping me afloat was knowing one day all our hard work would pay off and we could implement my plan to get out.
Now to find out Liv has been building a secret business—one that could be done from anywhere in the world—feels like the final nail in our relationship’s coffin. She hid this part of herself from me since before we were even married. She said this started in college and just grew from there.
Do I even know her anymore?
Did I ever?
Why would she hide something so important from me, of all people?
Without conscious thought of where I should go, my feet carry me to Pony Up. Perfect. I could use a beer or twelve to numb this giant crack in my heart. Liv was supposed to be my soul mate. My forever and ever.
I sidle up to the bar and take the first stool I come to. The bartender raises his brows and jerks his chin up.
“Beer with a shot of whiskey, and don’t let either glass go dry.”
He nods, understanding etched in his features, as he pours the first round. “Your day’s been that good, huh?”
“Better, actually.” I throw back the shot and drain the beer mug in a fast chug. “Hit me again.”
He looks unsure, but does as I ask anyway, albeit slower this time. His tactics don’t slow me down though. Once again, I finish off both drinks in record time and order a third.
“You need to slow down, Ryder. You’re drinking a lot of alcohol in a short time. That’s exactly how you get alcohol poisoning. Especially since you aren’t in here all the time. You have no tolerance built up to it. I can’t serve you another one yet, man. Not in good conscience.” He steps back from the bar and crosses his arms.
I may be a little buzzed from guzzling, but I’m not inebriated. As of now, my anger is keeping me sober.
“Joe. Dude. I’m fine. I’m an adult. A grown man. I can make my own decisions. Give me another beer and another shot. Right now.” I pound the bar with my fist.
He stares at me with his brows furrowed and a serious expression on his normally friendly face. When I don’t back down, he relents. “Fine. One more. That’s it for a while.” He places them in front of me and walks off.
I shoot the whiskey but drink the beer a little slower this time. All I want is to numb the pain and stop the thoughts that are running rampant through my mind. Then I feel a hand grip my shoulder before Grayson slides onto the stool beside me.
“What’s going on, Ryder?” Grayson has been my best friend for too long to let me get away with shit.
“You read Tate’s article?” I lift the mug to my mouth and drain it.
“Yeah, I read it.”
“That’s how I found out my wife has a secret clothing line business and has been recognized by Entranced magazine. Not because she trusted me enough to be her partner in everything that affects our lives. Not because she loves me enough not to keep life-changing secrets from me. But because our local gossip queen revealed my wife’s secret life to the whole town—including me.” I hold up my empty mug and point to it with my other hand. Our friendly neighborhood bartender doesn’t look pleased.
“Have you asked Liv why she didn’t confide in you when this first started?” Grayson’s even-keel tone usually calms me and helps me look at the problem from a different angle. It’s the dad in him, remaining calm until he has all the facts. But tonight, I need to let my anger out or I’ll explode like a keg of dynamite.
“No, I didn’t ask because nothing she says will make it okay. This little revelation has made me question our entire relationship, and just when we were well on our way to reconciling for good. She should’ve told me.” My glass is still empty. “Joe, I will climb over this bar and refill this mug myself if you don’t get your ass over here.”
“It’s okay, Joe. I’ll babysit him.” Grayson only laughs harder when I flip him off. “Ryder, what did Liv say about it?”
I repeat her confession word for word to Grayson, adding that’s when I walked out. “I’m not going back, either. Fuck therapy. Fuck marriage. Fuck the lies.”
“Yeah, that’s the alcohol talking, all right. The Ryder King I know would stop to consider both what his wife said and what she didn’t say before making that kind of declaration.” Grayson arches one brow at me.
“What do you mean?” The full effects of the copious amount of liquor and beer are hitting me now.
“Look, you don’t want to admit the truth because you feel bad about it. But we both know you were embarrassed when she announced her business. You wanted to hide in a hole. I was with you, if you remember. Don’t you think she sensed that in you, even if you didn’t come right out and say it? She knows you inside and out.”
“I thought I knew her inside and out too.”
“Ryder, she told you why she’s so sensitive about her business. You told me all about that conversation she had with you. Everyone wants their business to succeed—even you. But you don’t design every piece of jewelry in your store. You didn’t put your heart and soul into creating something you hope others love. Until you p
ut your heart out there for the entire town to trample on, you can’t judge her.” Grayson sits back and folds his arms across his chest.
“You’re taking her side? She intentionally left me out of a huge part of her life.” My argument makes sense to me.
“And you took away something important to her, but she was willing to let it go so you two can stay together. There’s more to that part of the story, but you’re not telling anyone. Most men don’t just up and decide not to have a family with the woman they love. Not without an in-depth conversation about it, anyway. But you just unilaterally snatched it out from under her after seven years of marriage. What kind of partner does that make you?” His comments hit the mark a little too close to the truth for my comfort.
He’s learned the art of patience with his twin four-year-old girls. He remains silently staring at me until I relent.
“All right, fine. You want the ugly truth of the matter? Here it is. I’m not even sure I can have kids. I’ve been to the doctor and had some tests done. He said it’s not impossible, but not likely. You don’t think it kills me not to be able to give my wife what she wants more than anything?”
“Shit, man, I’m sorry. What made you even question it?”
“Liv and I weren’t careful about not getting pregnant for a long time. At first, I thought it was just pure dumb luck. But the longer we went, the more suspicious I became something was wrong. Turns out, I was right.”
“Let me guess. You never told Liv about this little problem. Did you?”
“No, I couldn’t bring myself to break it to her. It’s bad enough being disappointed every time I look in the mirror. I don’t think I could take the same expression in her eyes when she looks at me.” Just thinking about it makes me cringe.
“She loves you, Ryder. You’re being way harder on yourself than she ever would be. She’d support you without a second thought. Besides, there are other ways to put a baby in her belly. You still get to have all the fun and all the benefits of it too. Don’t count yourself out so easily.”
Perfect Excuse (Mason Creek Book 11) Page 11