by Lym Cruz
After an intense pat-down at the lobby—even after Melissa called security and told them it was unnecessary—we rode the elevator car up to the penthouse. We were not alone, a man in a black suit followed us while I struggled to hold Christina up. She kept slipping out of my arms, not helping at all. Pulling her up, I caught sight of a speck of blood on my wrist. I looked away.
When the doors slid open, Melissa was pacing around the threshold. I stepped out of the elevator, bringing Christina with me. Looking at Melissa, I acknowledged her beauty but felt nothing out of the ordinary. The halo of light I once saw over her had faded. Time really was the best remedy.
“Andrew!” she called over her shoulder, running in my direction.
The creamy, silk robe she had on floated around her knees as she stirred. Her curly hair was loose and much longer, past her shoulders, bouncing with her strides. Andrew, her fiancé, appeared and offered to take Christina. I let him hurdle her over his shoulder and carry her inside.
“Thank you so much, Ezra.” Melissa cast her arms around my neck. It was a brief, innocent hug. “Would you like to come in?”
I shook my head. “It’s late and I have to get going.”
“It is late.” She smiled.
I waited for my heart to race like it always did when she smiled, but nothing happened. Once I assumed I knew Melissa; in reality, I never did. The sophisticated woman before me was the same girl I met in college years ago. She hadn’t changed, I simply never knew her at all.
Andrew returned and placed a protective hand around her. She looked up at him with admiration and exhaled, relaxing almost as if his touch brought her safety. She never looked at me that way.
“I’ll see you around,” I said before striding away.
Chapter Two
Christina
Iblinked my heavy eyelids open, adjusting to the morning light shining through the window in a soft shade of orange-yellow. Panicking, I bolted upright and my eyes widened, darting around the room. The moment I recognized the curved windows and the beige walls, my posture slackened. I sank back down on the enormous bed and covered my head with a pillow, blocking the sunlight.
“Get up,” I heard Nina, Melissa’s housekeeper, bark. “I know you’re awake.”
“I’m sleeping,” I whined. “Go away.”
She yanked the pillow off my face and the bright light forced my eyes to fasten. I drew the covers over my head, only to have them pulled back down.
“Stand up or I’ll call your mother and tell her in what state you were brought here last night.” The mention of my mother made me sit up. Not only that, but it brought to my attention that I had no idea how I got here in the first place. “Don’t worry. Melissa called her first thing this morning and told her you spent the night.”
“How did I get here, Nina?” She shrugged, pursing her lips, then sat on the bed holding a large pinkish drink and thrust it in my direction. I raised a brow, eyeing the cup with distrust. “What’s in it?”
“Strawberries, cherries, some other fruits, and yogurt.”
“Is the yogurt fat-free?”
“Yes, Christina.” Nina scowled and continued in an ironic tone, “Melissa buys them especially for you.”
“Did you add sugar?”
Growling, she rolled her eyes. “Drink.”
I raised my trembling hands and took the cup from her. The moment I sucked on the straw; my body was overtaken by the delicious flavors. The sweet taste of the fruit danced over my tongue. It tasted so good. I let out a long breath and continued slurping.
“Go get cleaned up,” Nina said, standing from the bed. “You smell and look like death. There are painkillers in the bathroom.”
Halfway through my drink, I put it down, climbed off the bed and shuffled straight into the bathroom. I stood before the enormous oval-shaped mirror hanging over the vanity and my reflection was petrifying. My hair was tousled. Mascara was smudged around my eyes and traces of it reached the side of my face. Fading tinges of the red lipstick I once had on outlined my mouth.
From the medicine cabinet, I took out two brown tablets from the Advil bottle and swallowed. Then I removed my clothes and jumped into the shower.
The warm water was a gift for my skin. I remained motionless under the cascading water for the longest time, until the tremors wracking my body eased. Feeling slightly better after the shower, I sauntered back into the room in a white robe and found Melissa and Erica on the bed.
The two girls were my best friends. Erica and I met back in elementary school and then we met Melissa six years ago. Ever since then, the three of us had been practically inseparable. But in the past few months so much had changed; for starters, Erica got married.
“Happy birthday,” Melissa sang.
“Happy birthday,” I said back to her because we shared birthdays—February 23rd.
Erica rolled on her side to look at me. She was radiant, the most tanned I’d ever seen her. Marriage agreed with the newly-minted Mrs. Bale.
“Happy birthday. How does it feel to be twenty- three?”
“Not as good as it feels to be twenty-four,” Melissa said.
“Thanks.” I scanned the room and placed a hand on my right hip. “Where’s my stuff?”
“What stuff?” Melissa lifted a brow. “All Ezra gave me was your drunk body.”
The mention of Ezra’s name caused my face to scrunch into a confused scowl and my heart to skip a beat. I couldn’t recall running into him the previous night. Deepening the frown, I combed through the few memories I had, none of which included Ezra.
“Ezra? How did I end up with him?”
“He ran into you at a club or something. But the real question is, why are you acting like this, Tina? Every night it’s a different bar, club, or guy.”
“I’m fine. Can’t a girl have a little fun?”
That was a lie. I wasn’t fine.
My downward spiral began the day I met Ezra. At first sight, I thought he was cute with his man bun and sinewy dancer figure. And it all intensified when he smiled. I couldn’t find my voice. My cheeks flushed hot and my stomach grew heavy while my heart pounded, threatening to break free. His voice was deep. Smooth. And when he spoke, I hung on every word. I was infatuated like a silly little girl. Later in the night, I even attempted to flirt with him but instantly realized that the one who held his attention was my best friend, Melissa. Admittedly, I was jealous and from that point on, I couldn’t stand him.
He never even looked at me.
He never saw me.
“You’re lucky it was Ezra who found you,” Erica added. “Anyone could have dragged you anywhere and done anything to you.”
Yawning, I stretched, blocking their words. “Melissa, can you call Ezra and ask him if he has my stuff? I need my phone and things.”
“It’s weird how you guys don’t have his number.”
“We’re not friends,” Erica and I said in unison.
“But we hung out all the time,” she insisted.
“No. We didn’t,” I said. “You hung out with him. We never even had a proper conversation. And I can’t stand him.”
Ezra and I barely spoke since our first encounter because I avoided him at all costs. His presence elicited the strongest of emotions within me. One minute I wanted to kiss him then the next I wanted to punch him in the throat. He made my skin crawl with a fit of inexplicable anger and also caused butterflies in my stomach—no, not butterflies—more like lions seeking to claw their way out.
Erica stared at me for a second too long. It wasn’t a simple glance. It was an assessment. As if her baby blues were trying to gaze into my soul. I tightened the robe around my chest hoping to conceal whatever she was trying to uncover.
“Christina, are you sure everything’s alright? You’ve been out, like, a lot lately.”
I secured a towel on my head and laid on the bed with them. “I’m fine. Just celebrating our birthday early.”
Erica poked me with her foot. “Are you sure this is
n’t about Rob?”
“Rob who?” I spat.
Then there was Robert. The one who pushed me off the edge I was dangling from. Although he never made me feel half the way Ezra did, we hit it off from the get-go, and our thing wasn’t meant to be serious. We were both on the same page and had lots of fun until I wanted more. But he didn’t, at least not with me.
No matter how much I tried, I couldn’t erase his rejection from my system. The look of pity in his eyes as he turned me down, broke me. The shallow smile on his lips as he squeezed my hand and said, “Christina, this has nothing to do with you. You’re amazing and someday you’ll make a man very happy, but I fell in love with Sabrina.” punched a hole in my chest.
I attempted to fill the emptiness he left behind with booze, parties, or by fucking random strangers. It wasn’t a cure but during that time my self-loathing momentarily vanished. The problem was that as soon as I sobered, everything returned. The anguish and pain were consuming me daily. All I wanted was a break.
Swallowing thickly, I suppressed the twinge spreading up my chest when Erica spoke, getting my attention, “We got you something.”
Astounded, I blinked. “I wasn’t expecting anythi—”
Melissa cut me off, “Well we still got you something and it’s not here so get dressed. We need to go.”
I had nothing to wear, therefore, I raided Melissa’s closet for an outfit and threw on the first pair of jeans and t-shirt I found.
Three of Melissa’s bodyguards-slash-drivers escorted us. One rode with us while the other two followed in a car behind. A while into the drive, they blindfolded me for the surprise. When the car came to a halt, I knew we hadn’t gone far, but I was clueless about our exact location.
“Watch your step,” Erica said, guiding me.
I trailed behind following her directions. We rode on an elevator until it came to a stop, took a few more steps, and I heard the sound of keys rattling.
Ushered forward, I moved until instructed to stop and the blindfold was removed. I rubbed my eyes and blinked a few times, clearing my vision. We were in an apartment. I looked around and nothing about it was familiar. From the view of the surrounding buildings, and blue waters of the bay spanning beyond the point of sight, provided by the floor-to-ceiling windows, I knew we were downtown.
The room was full of texture, graced by wood floors, granite counters, and a large center island. The sitting area was magnificent. A white, three-piece couch set arched what seemed like the coziest brown rug. The space traversed to the open kitchen with black, upper cupboards contrasting with the bottom white ones and silver appliances. I inhaled, taking in the soft, pleasurable aroma of lavender.
“What’s this?” I asked.
Both girls were staring at me with glowing eyes and the widest of smiles.
Melissa bit her lower lip, attempting to conceal her grin. “Do you like it?”
“It’s spectacular.”
Erica let go of a breath, lowering her shoulders. “I’m so relieved ‘cause it’s yours.”
“What?”
I heard what she said. There was no need for her to repeat it. I simply couldn’t believe it. I looked around the room again, feeling my heart swelling to a point I thought it was too big for my chest. The grin spread on my face was maybe the widest to ever cross my lips.
“It’s yours,” Melissa echoed, spreading her arms wide open. “Happy birthday.”
“No!” I clapped my hand over my mouth, jumping up and down. “No way. You guys didn’t?”
They nodded. “We did.”
My eyes stung and the emotion poured out of them. They weren’t tears of sadness; they were tears of pure glee. I sniffed, wiping them away, but more ecstatic ones fell. I’d wanted to leave my mother’s house for so long but couldn’t afford it. I loved my family but sharing the same space with four siblings wasn’t easy. Not to mention that privacy was pretty much nonexistent.
“Thank you, guys.” I dashed to them and the three of us hugged. “This is the best gift I could ever get.”
“Just so you know,” Erica said, “your mom approved.”
“She knew about this?” I cleaned the tears off my cheeks. “She never said anything.”
“That’s what you’re supposed to do when it’s a surprise.” Erica laughed. “She was hesitant at first. Said it was too much.”
“She went as far as offering to help pay,” Melissa added.
My mother probably felt bad that my friends gave me something she couldn’t. She was hardworking and always made sure I had everything I needed and I would forever be thankful for that. But the thought did bother me a bit. An apartment was a huge gift and I felt as though I should offer to give them something in return.
“I think she’s right,” I said, “I could work and pay you guys off.”
Melissa placed her hands on my shoulders and gave me a firm look. “Listen, I’m not bragging or anything; you know I can afford this, Tina. And it’s not charity or whatever nonsense just crawled into your brain and took root. This is a present because we love you and you deserve it. Accept it.”
“I didn’t get you anything, Mel,” I whispered, embarrassed. “It’s your birthday too.”
“Don’t worry I get it.” She pulled me into a tight hug. “You were too busy getting drunk,” she teased, getting a chuckle out of the three of us.
We broke the embrace and they showed me the rest of the house. Everything was perfect and each room had its own spectacular view. My favorite was the master bedroom. Like the rest of the house, it was outfitted in white with variations of lilac shades. The bed was the most comfortable I’d ever laid on. It easily fit all three of us with enough space for another three. Across the hallway ran a dark wood bookshelf that I couldn’t wait to fill with books.
Talk about a present. I was left speechless. I thanked them a couple hundred more times until Melissa threatened to kick me out if I didn’t stop.
In the kitchen, we opened a glass of bubbly and toasted.
“This is the first house on my portfolio,” Erica said, proud of her accomplishment as she should. “You’ll be my first reference.”
Erica did a fantastic job. The house had everything I’d ever hoped for in a dream apartment and so much more. “You’ll have to sign the contract tomorrow. The real-estate agent will contact you in the morning.”
I turned to Melissa. “Which reminds me that I need my purse.”
“What?” Melissa shrugged. “I called. He didn’t answer.”
“Call him again and tell him to meet me tomorrow during lunch at that bookstore on Fifth, opposite Mollie’s.”
“Will do.” Melissa pouted. “But seriously, I could give you his number and you could call him yourself.”
Grimacing, I spoke with irony. “And how exactly will that work out? Do you not understand that he has my phone?”
“Sorry,” Melissa said, apologetically. “I forwarded you his contact.”
I rolled my eyes making a note to delete the number once I got my phone back.
I opened the fridge and it was stocked with gluten-free, fat-free and fun-free food. Shutting the door, I heard Erica say, “Mel, are you going to that Diamond fundraiser thing?”
“I don’t know,” Melissa said. I spun on my heels to face them, resting my back flat on the chilly refrigerator door. “We got an invitation but haven’t decided yet. Andrew isn’t keen on going.”
“I was hoping for some company. Those events are great but they can be, like, so boring.”
“Tell me about it.” Melissa rolled her eyes. “Hey, I need you to do some upgrades at my house. My kitchen needs a change. I love these backsplashes I saw online.” She held out her phone. “I was thinking of something like this.” They moved to my couch, staring down at Melissa’s phone and snuggled close to each other.
Seconds ago, we were a unit and now they were lost in their matrimonial bliss and had forgotten me. The dynamic of our friendship had changed tremendously in the past mon
ths. Erica was married and Melissa was about to be married. They moved in the same social circles which I wasn’t part of.
Even though I understood that they had more in common now, I couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy every time I couldn’t participate in a conversation. Every time I couldn’t go to an event with them. Seeing them giggling and talking about their day to day life that didn’t involve me made my joy crawl away, replaced by a sense of uselessness in our trio. Like I wasn’t needed anymore. I’d tried to suppress the thoughts but all on their own they consumed my mind.
Their lives were great and I, on the other hand, was unemployed and heartbroken—my life was a mess. I’d applied to dozens of jobs over the past six months. Most of them required experience, which I didn’t have, and the few interviews I went to, ended in a rejection.
I was tired of hearing, “Sorry, but you’re not exactly what we’re looking for at the moment.”
How on earth was I supposed to obtain experience when no one would give me a job?
“This china is adorable,” Erica said, reclining her head on Melissa’s shoulder. “We should buy matching sets.”
The rest of the day went on like that, them talking about their respective households, and I felt more and more left out.
As soon as they left, I ordered a large double pepperoni pizza with extra cheese and a two-liter of regular Coke with the money I borrowed from Erica with the excuse that I needed it for a cab tomorrow.
The delivery man handed me the box. The smell wafted up to my nose causing my mouth to water. With my legs crossed, I sat on the rug and devoured the pizza.
Slice after slice, I stuffed my face. Eating soothed me. I craved comfort that came from food and only food. Even when I wasn’t hungry anymore, I shoved it all down until the box was empty and I drank two-thirds of the soda.
I snickered remembering what my mother always said when I was younger, “Happiness is like a soda. It’s sweet, fizzy and doesn’t last very long. You have to enjoy happiness before it goes flat.” So, I drank soda every day to be happy. Needless to say, it didn’t turn out very well.