Awaken My Heart

by Maria K. Alexander

  “Your office?” Nick’s tall frame filled the doorway.

  “Yes.” She fiddled with her mouse and pretended to check her email, hoping he hadn’t seen what she’d done, and moved in front of the desk.

  Nick examined the room with a commanding efficiency. “All clear. Is there a basement?”

  “There is, but there aren’t any windows or doors.”

  “Then we’re good.” He stood in front of her, and she took a step back until she bumped into the desk.

  “Do you have any questions?” he asked.

  Plenty, but getting her mind to focus on one while he was standing so close to her was next to impossible.

  “I’m worried for Tanya’s safety…for all our safety,” she managed.

  “I can arrange for a squad car to drive by a few times throughout the night.”

  Ashley wasn’t sure if that made things better or worse, but she nodded. “Thanks.”

  “How late do you stay here each day?” he asked.

  “Until four or five. On nights when we have evening workshops, I go home and return later.”

  “Until we catch Randy, ask Walter to walk you to and from your car.”

  She licked her lips. “Is that an order, detective?”

  The corner of his mouth lifted. “A request.”

  When his gaze slid to her lips, Ashley felt the tingling in the pit of her stomach move lower.

  He stepped closer until his shoes brushed the tips of hers. “Twice in two days.”

  She could smell the musky male scent of him, sexy and pungent. “What?”

  “It’s the second time in two days we’ve run into each other,” Nick said.

  “Coincidences,” Ashley said.

  “Or a sign you should go out with me.”

  Oh, how she wanted to. It would be easy to give in to him, to slide her hands up his firm chest, and lose herself in his embrace. In heels, she was only a few inches shorter, and her mouth was dangerously close to his.

  She sucked in a breath. “I told you, I can’t.”

  “Can’t or won’t?”

  “It’s the same thing.”

  “It’s not, and you know it.” He leaned closer, and his warm breath brushed her face. “You can’t tell me you don’t feel what’s happening.”

  She lifted her chin and stared at warm brown eyes. “I don’t.”

  “Liar.” He linked his fingers with hers.

  He was right. Their chemistry was off the charts sizzling, and she felt the wildness of it bubble within her. For fifteen years, she’d blamed alcohol for shedding her inhibitions with him. But alcohol wasn’t involved now, and she trembled at the slightest touch.

  She needed to tell Nick about Sean. Perhaps it was better to get reacquainted before she dropped the bombshell that would impact all their lives. Maybe if he understood who she was now, he’d be less likely to hate her.

  He trailed a finger along her jaw. “Don’t say no, Ashley.”

  A knock on the door caused her to jump.

  “I’m ready whenever you are, partner,” Damon said.

  “Two minutes,” Nick replied, his voice husky.

  What was she doing?

  She straightened her sweater and swiped at a hair that had fallen out of her bun. “Fine. Make it lunch…tomorrow.”

  He gave her a full-on smile, the whiteness of his teeth a contrast to his olive complexion.

  Hell’s bells. She’d forgotten how potent his smile could be and fought her buckling knees.

  “Perfect. I’ll pick you up here at noon.”

  With a squeeze of her hand and a wink he walked out, leaving her to wonder how she was going to find the nerve to tell him the truth.

  ****

  “Thanks for having me over,” Ashley said to her friend, Patty, later that night.

  “You sounded upset on the phone,” Patty said.

  Ashley held up a bag. “Mint chocolate chip, cookies ’n cream, and brownies.”

  “Oh, it’s that kind of night.” In the kitchen, Patty set bowls and spoons on the counter.

  “It’s a good thing you’re wearing yoga pants,” Ashley said and removed the tubs from the bag.

  Ashley had been best friends with Patty Fielding since kindergarten when they both got assigned milk pick-up duty. So it had been natural to tell her about her night with Nick.

  When Ashley found out she was pregnant, she told Patty first, and since her friend knew Ashley didn’t sleep around, she deduced Nick was the father. All these years later, and Patty was still the only one who knew the identity of Sean’s father.

  “Sorry I couldn’t meet up last night. Planning for the Teen Life workshops has been an entire job in and of itself. A couple other workshop presenters canceled, and now I’m pressed for time to get them filled.”

  As director of development at Chartwell Academy, Patty’s job was to implement training programs, workshops, and assemblies for the school.

  “As a committee member, I can help. What do you need me to do?”

  “Our expert to speak about drugs and alcohol had to cancel,” Patty said. “Any ideas?”

  “We already have a couple of the girls from New Beginnings coming to talk to the kids about teenage pregnancy. A few of them also had a drug addiction they’re battling and trying not to pass to their unborn child. Maybe I could reach out to their doctors and see if they can help out.”

  Ashley had another thought—one involving two very handsome detectives—but that would be risky until Nick knew about Sean.

  “Could you? That would be a huge load off my shoulders.” Patty pulled the lids off the ice cream. “Why are we about to eat ourselves into a food coma?”

  “My past has come back to haunt me, and now it’s time to pay the piper, as they say.” Ashley cut two brownies and arranged them in the bowls before microwaving them for fifteen seconds.

  Patty scooped cookies ’n cream on top of her brownie. “That’s sounds ominous.”

  “I ran into Nick yesterday.”

  Patty paused with the spoon halfway to her mouth. “Say what? Are you serious?”

  Ashley nodded and put a double scoop of mint chocolate chip in her own bowl. “I had a flat tire on the way to work after the meeting at the school yesterday. He stopped to help me.”

  “Did he stop because he knew it was you?”

  “He was as surprised to see me as I was to see him.”

  After putting the ice cream in the freezer, they moved to the family room where they could be comfortable.

  Settled, Patty sat cross-legged with the ice cream balanced on a pillow between her legs. “What happened?”

  “He apologized for not contacting me after that night. Then he asked me to dinner.”

  Patty’s eyes widened. “What did you say?”

  “That I couldn’t, and then I took off before he could ask any more questions.”

  “Oh crap. This is huge. What if you run into him again or worse, what if he finds out where you live and comes to the house?”

  Hello panic-attack…she hadn’t thought of that.

  Ashley bit past the cool minty ice cream and into the warmth of the brownie. If only life were as simple as ice cream, brownies, and best friends.

  “Since moving back, I’ve been thinking about telling him about Sean. He’s at an age where he needs a male role model—someone other than his grandfather.”

  “He does,” Patty agreed.

  “You tried to warn me I’d regret my decision not to tell Nick…and you were right.”

  Despite endless coast-to-coast conversations with Patty, Ashley had been adamant about not returning to Philly to break the news to Nick that he was going to be a father…again. That didn’t deter Patty from telling Ashley when Franny had given birth to a daughter and years later, a son.

  Whenever Ashley had considered telling Nick, something would happen in his life that further justified keeping Sean’s existence a secret. Until so much time passed, it seemed easier to keep the secret
.

  Until now.

  And now that secret would hurt two people who didn’t deserve it.

  “It’s going to be hard to cough up to the truth,” Patty said.

  Without a doubt and in hindsight, it would be harder than if she had told the truth from the onset.

  “It will, but I can’t run the risk of Nick finding out another way or running into Sean accidentally.” She swept another bite of ice cream into her mouth and chewed. “I’m having lunch with him tomorrow.”

  Patty sat up, unfolding her legs. “What? I thought you told him no.”

  “He came to New Beginnings today to question Tanya about her baby’s father, who is tied to a drug case he’s working.”

  Patty pressed a hand to her forehead. “This is like a live soap opera. I thought Tanya broke all ties with her past when she came to New Beginnings.”

  “She did, but she ran into Randy outside the library a few weeks ago and again yesterday. He saw she was pregnant and started giving her a hard time. Walter was there, but the whole thing scared her,” Ashley said.

  “I’m sure. Was she able to help Nick?”

  “She gave him and his partner names of people Randy hung with so they could check it out.”

  “And how did lunch come up in the conversation?” Patty asked.

  “He was checking the security in the house and asked me when we were alone.”

  “Awww, how sweet.”

  Ashley put her bowl down on the coffee table and pressed cold fingers to her temple. “How am I going to tell him what I did? He wants to pick up where we left off.”

  “You’re sure?”

  Ashley may be naïve around men, but she knew enough to know when a man was interested in her. If his partner hadn’t interrupted them yesterday, Nick would have kissed her. And as much as Ashley wanted him too, she couldn’t allow the intimate side of their relationship to resume—at least not until he knew about Sean.

  At which point, Nick would not want anything to do with her.

  “Very sure,” Ashley said.

  Patty frowned into her bowl. “You can’t sit on this. You need to tell him at lunch tomorrow. Before he seduces you back into bed.”

  Ashley straightened her shoulders. “I’m not some young girl who can so easily be seduced.”

  “How did he look? Did he lose his hair or have a big ol’ beer belly?” Patty asked.

  From what Ashley had seen, there had only been a handful of gray hairs in Nick’s dark, wavy locks. And the tautness of his shirt showed there was nothing but firm perfection to his fine form.

  “He’s sexier than he was fifteen years ago, if that’s even possible,” Ashley said on a sigh and rested her head on the back of the couch.

  “You’re so screwed,” Patty said. “You’d better prepare yourself to tell him tomorrow, lest you give in to him once again.”

  Patty was right. Tomorrow she’d tell Nick and turn his life—and Sean’s—upside down.

  Chapter Four

  The next day, after a frustrating morning spent following up on the remaining leads from Tanya’s list, Nick was more than happy to head out for lunch.

  His lunch date with Ashley.

  Sure, he had to suck it up and take the ribbing from Damon, who placed a box of condoms on Nick’s office chair that morning as a joke. They took turns busting each other’s chops, and hey, he now had a brand new box of condoms—magnum, thank you very much—which Nick hoped he’d put to use sometime soon.

  With thoughts of his partner and the case out of his mind, he drove to New Beginnings.

  It had been a while since a woman caught his interest. Franny’s infidelity made him cautious of the opposite sex. Nick hadn’t been a saint during his bachelor years, but he’d been taught to respect women. He’d never been about the casual fling or one-night stand.

  Except Ashley.

  What had started out as a drunken night of passion had changed into something else…at least for him. He’d been more than a little disappointed when he’d woken up the next morning to find her gone. And it wasn’t only because he wanted a booty call.

  Since his separation from Franny, he had plenty of offers and had taken a couple women up on them after moving out of his house. Each time had left him feeling empty and emotionally unfulfilled, so he stopped.

  The divorce being final gave him closure. After seeing Ashley, Nick realized he was ready for more. He wasn’t ready to jump back on the marriage train, but forging into a relationship—maybe a friend with benefits—had a certain appeal.

  A few minutes before noon, he parked down the street from New Beginnings. He scanned the street during the short walk from his parking spot to the building.

  While he waited on the front stoop, he took in the surroundings. The moderately priced neighborhood had seen better days, but most of the houses along the street were respectable with flowers and decorations for fall.

  Sylvia answered the door. “Come in, Detective. Ashley’s finishing up a phone call.”

  She led him to the living room. A few minutes later, Ashley hurried in, her long legs encased in tight black leggings with a long flowing button-down black shirt with tiny pink flowers. Today, she wore short high-heeled black boots that made her legs look longer and kicked Nick’s pulse up a few notches.

  “Sorry, I’ve been playing phone tag with someone and needed to take his call,” Ashley said.

  “No worries. I just got here.”

  He led her to his SUV and opened the door for her.

  “Where are we going?” she asked.

  “It’s a nice day so I picked up sandwiches and thought we could go to a park not far from here,” Nick said.

  “I wouldn’t have pictured you as a picnic type of guy,” Ashley said.

  “You never asked.”

  She smiled. “Good point. A picnic in the park it is.”

  They were silent the next few minutes until Nick pulled into the lot of Batter’s Park. He grabbed a large paper bag and blanket from the backseat.

  “I drive by here every day but have never stopped. I usually work through lunch or eat with the girls if they’re at the house,” Ashley said, stepping out onto the gravel lot and closing the door, bumping into him in the process.

  “Sorry,” she said even as he placed his free hand on her hip to stop her from stumbling.

  Still a little clumsy, but he found it cute and even a little bit hot. Nerves, perhaps?

  He gripped her hand. “I think we can find somewhere to eat if we go down toward the creek.” He steered her to a small clearing.

  “Picnic table or blanket?” Nick asked.

  “The blanket is good.”

  Together, they spread it on the ground, and he held her hand as she lowered herself onto the blue and black plaid.

  He spread out the contents of the bag, which included sandwiches from the deli around the corner from the precinct, chips, water or soda, and dessert.

  “I’m impressed. You put some effort into this.”

  “I took a chance on what you’d like and got a couple different sandwiches.”

  She chose the turkey club, unwrapped half, and bit. Nick tried not to stare at her mouth while she chewed, but it was a struggle. He pulled his gaze away and bit into his roast beef sandwich, too distracted by her to notice the taste.

  “Did you have any luck with the contacts from Tanya?” Ashley asked.

  “No, but it was a longshot. A lot of investigative work involves following up on leads that are dead ends,” Nick said.

  “I suppose you have to in the off chance one of them amounts to something.”

  Nick was surprised she understood. Franny used to bitch about him about how much time he spent in the field either following up on leads or doing surveillance and waiting.

  “You got it. A case is like solving a puzzle where you have to find all the pieces before figuring out how they fit together.”

  “Seems like it could be a frustrating job,” Ashley said.


  “At times. We have to be good at reading people, knowing what questions to ask, and when to back off.”

  They ate quietly for a few minutes, the sound of traffic in the distance. It was nice to sit and not feel pressured to talk.

  He tossed their trash in a plastic bag and removed a small square bakery box. “Lunch wouldn’t be complete without dessert.”

  A smile lit her face. “Depends on what you have.”

  “Close your eyes. It’s a surprise.”

  She fingered her ponytail, and Nick had to fight hard not to think about the silky feel of her blonde strands. “I don’t like surprises.”

  “Humor me.” He lowered his voice. “I’ll make it worth your while.”

  With a longing glance at the box, she lowered her eyelids. He opened the lid, removed a large cream puff, and leaned closer. “Open your mouth.”

  After the slightest hesitation she complied. The sight of her lips clamping down on the pastry made all the blood rush to his groin.

  “Mmm.” She bit off a chunk and chewed.

  With her eyes closed, she was more tempting than any dessert. Nick couldn’t help it. He leaned forward and brushed her lips with his. She sucked in a quick breath but didn’t pull back. It didn’t take more than the slightest pressure against her lips before they parted. He swept his tongue inside, the taste of the cream mixed with Ashley both intoxicating and arousing.

  He’d intended it to be a gentle kiss, but when their tongues touched something snapped in him—or maybe it snapped in both of them.

  Dropping the cream puff, Nick reached for Ashley at the same moment she did him and pressed her onto the blanket. Her arms gripped his shoulders and pulled him closer, her full breasts cushioned against his hard chest. He cupped her face and deepened the kiss, pleased when the sound of her moan vibrated through him. She squirmed beneath him, and he ground the hard column of his erection into her.

  He’d always wondered if the alcohol he’d consumed the night they were together caused him to misjudge how amazing things had been between them. Could their chemistry have been that off-the-chart hot?

  Now, the feel…the taste of her exceeded his memory, and Nick realized not only was it smokin’ hot but it also wasn’t like anything he’d felt before.